17 Pleasurable Bondage Positions For Your Next BDSM Scene

These 17 bondage sex positions will hold you in place and control you with delicious intensity, giving you and your partner some of the most powerful bondage sessions and tied-up sex of your lives.

If you'd like, you can jump straight to demonstrations of each bondage position, but I'd recommend reading this page in full without skipping ahead. That way you'll understand the risks and safety points you need to keep in mind for any kind of bondage, even poses that seem completely harmless.

Why does that matter?

Tying a partner up can be incredibly hot, but it also carries real danger, even the potential for serious harm.

Start With Negotiation

Before diving into any bondage scene or BDSM session, sit down with your partner and hash things out. Topics worth covering include:

• Who's playing which role in the positions below
• What safe word or words you'll use
• The safety precautions you're putting in place
• Hard & soft limits
• Whether certain acts are on the table (like anal sex or cunnilingus)
• Plenty more besides

Sounds like a lot to cover, right?

No need to stress.

We've put together a complete BDSM negotiation guide to walk you through this conversation before trying any of the positions below.

Bondage Requires Consent

Consent isn't optional.

You need it for any BDSM activity (even something as mild as light bondage) because bondage is fundamentally about exchanging power. Typically, that looks like:

• A dominant partner who stays free of restraints and holds all the physical power
• A submissive partner who is bound and holds very little power

The dominant partner has to make sure the submissive partner is giving happy, enthusiastic consent to being restrained. They're also on the hook for that person's safety and wellbeing while they're bound and unable to look after themselves.

The submissive partner needs a clear way to signal if something's off, or if they've stopped enjoying themselves.

They can also pull consent at any point mid-scene, whether that's saying so plainly or using their safe word.

We've written a thorough guide to consent that every partner should read before trying anything BDSM-related, whether you're casually experimenting or already living a total power exchange relationship.

Use A Safe Word

A safe word is a word or phrase you can say during sex or BDSM play to signal that you need things to pause, at least for the moment. It can also be used to stop everything entirely.

It doesn't even need to be a spoken word, which matters if you're bound and can't talk. A hand signal, ringing a bell, or dropping an object can all work.

Never play with someone who won't agree to use a safe word.

Our guide to safe words breaks down how to put them to good use.

BDSM Safety

Restraining a partner comes with genuine risk.

That risk can be a massive turn-on, but…

When things go sideways, that risk becomes very real, and someone can get hurt or worse. A few examples:

• Restraint materials that cut off blood flow are seriously dangerous — things like stockings or tights fall into this category
• Restraints placed over nerves, which can lead to temporary numbness, pain, or lasting damage
• Wrapping anything around your partner's neck
• Walking away and leaving your bound partner unattended

So it's on you to actively reduce these dangers.

This guide to safe, sane and consensual play covers most of the safety fundamentals, whether you're brand new to BDSM or you've been at it for years.

BDSM Aftercare

Sinking deep into subspace during a bondage scene can be one of the most intense, satisfying feelings you'll ever experience.

Surfacing from it, though, can hit hard emotionally.

Pleasure can flip to pain fast, and…

Satisfaction can give way to sheer exhaustion.

Our guide to building a solid BDSM aftercare routine can help your submissive process the raw emotions and physical aftereffects that follow a bondage session.

Bondage Without Sex

Plenty of people weave bondage into their sex life to spice things up and get more sexually adventurous.

That said…

Bondage and sex don't have to go together.

For some, bondage stands entirely on its own, enjoyed without any sexual intimacy or orgasm involved.

If that's your preference, feel free to use any of the poses below purely for the bondage itself, no sex required.

Alright…

Time to dig into some fun bondage sex positions!

1. Wrists Tied To The Bed During Missionary

This is about as simple as bondage gets, making it a solid pick for beginners.

Have your partner lie on their back. Tie their wrists to the bed posts.

No bed posts? Use the legs of the bed frame instead.

Play around with how far apart their wrists are tied:

• Spread wide apart, it heightens their sense of exposure and vulnerability
• Tied loosely, it lets them move their arms and wrists more freely

If you want them bare from the waist up, strip their clothes off before securing their wrists.

If the person in bondage has a vulva, this setup is great for Missionary-style sex or the Coital Alignment Technique. You could also tease them with a toy or go down on them.

If the bound partner has a penis instead, this is a great setup for the woman on top sex position.

2. Doggy Style With A Collar & Leash

Putting a collar on your submissive and leading them around the house (or even outdoors) by a leash is a powerful way to deepen their sense of submission.

Bringing a collar and leash into actual sex ramps that up even further.

In positions like Doggy Style, it can feel like total subjugation, treating your partner like they're nothing more than an animal (a big draw for anyone into pony play). A few ideas to try in this position:

• Tighten the leash a little more with every thrust
• Use the end of the leash to flog or erotically spank your partner
• Have them hold the leash between their teeth during sex

Just avoid sudden or extreme jerks on the leash. A firm, controlled tug is plenty.

This also pairs nicely with other positions like the Turtle and the Final Furlong sex position.

3. Oral Sex While Bound To A Chair

Tying your partner to a chair is perfect for playful "interrogation," among other fun uses.

Start by having them sit.

Then…

Secure their ankles to the chair legs.

Finally…

Bring their hands behind their back and tie them to the chair as well.

They should be firmly locked in place at this point. If not, adjust as needed, or tie their waist to the chair too.

• If your bound partner has a penis, you can go down on them
• If they have a vulva, you can perform oral sex on them — this works best with a wide chair so their legs can spread
• If the free partner has a penis, they can stand and have their bound partner give them oral

There's plenty more you can do with a partner tied to a chair:

• Tickle their feet
• Try some sadistic play
• Bring sex toys into it

4. Bent Over With A Spreader Bar

Spreader bars are excellent for making your bound partner feel exposed and vulnerable. Attached at the ankles, they hold them spread open no matter how much they squirm.

To set this up, attach the spreader bar to their ankles first.

Next…

Have them bend forward and grip the center of the bar so you can bind their wrists to it. Bending their knees slightly makes this easier.

With them standing but folded forward, you can now enter them from behind. A few ways the free partner can turn up the heat:

• Hold their waist to help balance them, which lets you keep going longer before fatigue sets in from trying to stay upright
• Reach around and use a vibrator on their clitoris for extra pleasure
• Check out this guide to standing sex positions for more ways to have sex on your feet
• Drop to your knees and try these blow job techniques if they have a penis, or go down on them if they have a vulva, including rimming

5. Hogtied

Hogtying is a serious, intense bondage position.

It calls for real flexibility and a clear plan for freeing your partner quickly if anything goes wrong.

Start with the person being hogtied lying face-down. They bring their hands behind their back and their wrists get bound together.

Next, their ankles are bound together too.

Finally, the bound wrists get connected to the bound ankles behind their back. How close together depends entirely on their flexibility.

Once they're hogtied, there's a lot you can do:

• Have them "forced" to give you head if you're both into consensual non-consent play
• Tickle them if that's a kink they enjoy
• Use a dildo on them while they're completely helpless

6. Wrists & Ankles Bound During Cowgirl

This one's ideal if you want to fully take charge of a male partner.

Tie his wrists to the headboard or bed legs above his head, then bind his ankles to the frame near his feet so he's spread-eagled.

Adjust the restraints so he's fully stretched and feeling exposed, without being able to reach up or kick, but also without any real pain.

Now the fun begins.

• Settle on top of him in a standard Cowgirl sex position
• Intensify your dominance by choking him while riding him
• Flip around and ride him in Reverse Cowgirl
• Go full dominant mode by sitting on his face

7. Lying On Your Back With A Spreader Bar

Using a spreader bar while lying on your back is an easy, satisfying bondage position.

Start by attaching the bar to your partner's ankles.

Then attach their wrists to it as well.

Finally, have them lie back.

Whoever's restrained will be quite limited in movement, while the other partner gets a lot more freedom to direct things. The free partner can shift their bound partner into positions such as:

• The Anvil sex position for deep penetration
• Deep Impact sex position
• Launch Pad sex position
• Viennese Oyster sex position

Note: If the bound partner has a sensitive or weak back, slide some pillows underneath for extra support during sex.

8. Wrists to Thighs

Thigh cuffs act like a gentler version of a spreader bar, making them a great pick for anyone just starting to explore bondage. They're also ideal if you don't have Olympic-level flexibility.

Don't write these off as boring beginner gear, though — they hold up well to repeat use.

Start by fastening the larger cuffs snugly (but not tight enough to restrict blood flow) around your submissive's thighs, then connect their wrists to the smaller cuffs.

Their arms end up fully restrained, but…

They won't be stuck in an awkward or exhausting posture.

Some options to try with thigh cuffs in play:

• Have them lie face-down on the bed, hips slightly raised, perfect for impact play
• Sandwich sex position
• Turtle sex position
• Leapfrog sex position

9. Frogtied

Frogtying is intense and demands real flexibility and mobility, so it isn't the right fit for every couple. Still, plenty of people love this particular BDSM position.

Start by binding your partner's ankles to their thighs so their knees are fully bent, heels nearly touching their bum. Thigh cuffs work well here, just attached to the ankles instead of the wrists.

Next, bring their arms behind their back and tie their wrists together.

A few thoughts on frogtying:

• Your partner can bring their knees together to feel less exposed, but you'll easily be able to spread them apart again and encourage them to lean into submission
• Try spreading their knees, gliding your hand slowly down their thigh, and starting to finger them
• Anal fingering works well from here too

10. Wrist-To-Waist Restrained

Wrist-to-waist restraints are a great choice for bondage fans who don't have a lot of mobility to spare.

Start with the waist piece. Once it's securely but comfortably in place, attach the wrist restraints to it.

Arm movement is basically off the table with this setup, but it isn't a painful position at all. From here, several positions work well for bondage sex:

• Bodyguard position, where the submissive stands with their back against their dominant partner
• Jockey position, where the submissive lies face-down on their stomach while their dominant partner enters them from behind
• Wrist-to-waist restraints also work great for anyone who enjoys giving oral or receiving it during a consensual non-consent scene

11. Handcuffs

Handcuffs can feel more intense than wrist-to-waist restraints, but there are plenty of comfortable, attractive designs that take the edge off.

Given their association with law enforcement, they're also a great tool for exploring role play scenarios.

My advice: test the cuffs out before using them in a scene. A lot of people underestimate how easily handcuffs can be over-tightened, or how tricky they can be to remove quickly when needed.

Tighten them too much and you risk discomfort, cut-off circulation, nerve damage, or even permanent injury.

Once you're both comfortable using them, here are some positions to try:

• During a police-themed scene, cuff your partner's hands behind their back and march them to the "interrogation area." With them still standing, push them against the wall (13 wall sex positions) and perform a thorough "search" that just happens to hit their erogenous zones
• Still cuffed, guide them to their knees (one of the best blow job positions), unzip, and tell them oral sex is the price of their release
• You can also have your partner lie back on the bed and cuff their hands above their head, opening up many different sex positions from there

12. The Mummy Hand Job & Blow Job

Plenty of people love the feeling of being completely restrained during bondage and BDSM, entirely at the mercy of whatever their dominant decides to do.

If you and your partner have practice with rope bondage, including Shibari, being slowly and deliberately wrapped up until you can barely move can be an intensely erotic experience.

Bondage tape works well for this kind of scene too.

That said…

If you're not experienced with Shibari or tape, mistakes can happen and injuries can follow. A safer alternative is a sleep sack, which is just as restrictive but generally easier and quicker to escape.

At the end of the day…

The tool doesn't matter much. What matters is that the dominant partner safely immobilizes their submissive. Once they're restrained and unable to move, the fun starts:

• If the submissive has a penis, the dominant can give them a hand job
• If the dominant has a penis, the submissive can deep throat them using the Lie Back blow job position
• The dominant can tease by whispering filthy things or sharing dirty stories
• The dominant can use a vibrator on their mummified partner "against their will"

13. Bent Over & Tied Up

If either of you enjoys sex from behind or anal (tips for prepping for anal sex), bending your partner over something and restraining them will hit the spot.

First, get them into bondage:

• Bind their wrists together — bondage cuffs, handcuffs, or rope all work well
• Then secure their ankles/legs — spreader bars, rope, or cuffs are all fine choices

Next, walk them over to whatever they'll be bent over. A dedicated bondage bench is great if your budget allows, but plenty of household items work just as well…

• Washing machine
• Couch or armchair
• Bed
• Table
• Kitchen counter
• Fence, if you're out in the countryside enjoying outdoor sex

After bending them over, tie their wrists and ankles to the object (or the ground) so they're locked firmly in place and can't wriggle free.

If you're feeling more sensually dominant, start pleasuring your submissive (tips for pleasuring a man and tips for satisfying a woman).

Related: How to have sensual sex.

14. Sex While Bound To A Chair

Earlier I covered oral sex with a partner bound to a chair.

This position is about full penetrative sex with them still restrained there.

To set up, remove their underwear and secure their ankles to the chair legs.

Then bring their wrists behind their back and tie them to the chair — or to the side of the chair if they're less flexible.

Once they're comfortably restrained, climb into their lap and start having intense sex. Some ways to amp it up:

• If the bound partner has a penis, try something like Lap Dance or Mastery sex position
• Sex is trickier with a bound partner who has a vulva, but the High Chair sex position can work, provided they're bound to a stool rather than a chair
• Facing your partner in their lap, reach around and pull their hair for an extra dose of dominance

15. Standing With Hands Tied Above Your Head

Having your partner stand tall with their hands bound overhead is a straightforward bondage position, but…

It's a great way to leave your partner feeling exposed and vulnerable.

Note: Padded cuffs are worth using here, since metal cuffs or rope can dig into the skin. Also keep in mind that holding your arms overhead gets tiring and uncomfortable faster than you'd think.

Start by rigging up whatever will hold their hands overhead. A rope looped over a sturdy door works for most people.

If having sex in the woods sounds appealing, take it outside and secure the rope over a sturdy tree branch instead.

Related: 48 incredible places to have sex

Attach their wrists to the rope and slowly lift their arms overhead.

My tip: don't raise their arms so high that their elbows lock straight — leave a bit of slack so their arms can relax. Now for the fun part…

• Gently tease your partner with light tickling
• Ramp up the teasing with these tease and denial games
• If your bound partner has a vulva, finger them and even make them squirt
• Spank, flog, or cane them while talking dirty and degrading them
• Take them from behind
• Go down on them or give them a blow job (In-depth blow job guide)

Keep communication open with your partner throughout, so they can flag when their arms need a break.

16. Face Down, Ass Up

This bondage position also leaves you feeling very exposed, but it's comfortable too, and great if you're into rougher sex.

Have your partner lie face down with arms and legs stretched out.

Then secure them to the bed with wrist and ankle cuffs, each limb tied to a different corner of the bed.

Slide a stack of pillows or a sex wedge under their hips to lift their ass into the air.

Related: 9 sex wedge and pillow positions for maximum pleasure.

From here, this tied-up position opens up plenty of options:

• Explore ass play by anally fingering them or using a butt plug
• Use your hands or a toy to repeatedly edge them before finally letting them finish
• Feeling extra sadistic? Try a ruined orgasm or withhold orgasm entirely
• They're also perfectly positioned for penetration

17. Regular Or Straight Jacket Shibari

I brought up Shibari earlier.

It's a rope-bondage style demanding real skill, capable of producing intricate, elaborate bondage scenes and submissive positions. Getting tied up this way can feel intimate and almost trance-like.

Shibari lets you artfully cross your partner's arms and wrap them around the waist, essentially recreating a straightjacket effect.

Or…

You could just use an actual straightjacket for the same result.

There's also bondage gear called arm binders built for this purpose, available in front-tie or back-tie versions, some with attached collars.

The specific gear matters less than knowing how to use it safely. The goal is comfortably immobilizing your partner's arms.

Once they're restrained, the fun can begin…

• If you lean toward a caring, gentle femdom style, tend to your helpless submissive by feeding them or giving them something to drink
• If CNC play appeals to you, guide them to their knees and "make" them give you oral
• Bend them over your knee for a spanking. 16 wild BDSM punishments
• Collar them and walk them around the house on a leash

These 17 bondage sex positions are just a jumping-off point. Feel free to mix, adapt, and invent your own, especially once you build up rope skills, which open the door to endless new combinations. And above all…

Stay safe and have fun!

March 11, 2024 </content>