10 Sensual Sex Tips to Give Your Man an Unforgettable Night

Hey ladies… you're far from the only one who craves sensual sex. We're talking about the kind of love making that lingers, slow and unhurried. A Cosmopolitan survey of thousands of men found that even though most men do enjoy a good quickie, 65 percent of them actually want 45 minutes or more of exploring their partner. Sure, guys enjoy fast, intense sex too, and there's something thrilling about sex outside or anywhere risk adds a spark. But taking things slow with deeply sensual sex is a great way to make your man feel truly appreciated. You might be the first woman who ever shows him how satisfying slow sex can be — and even if you're not, you can still give him a night he won't forget.

I'm also fairly confident he'll never turn down sex with you, whether it's quick or drawn out. Even a guy who usually prefers things fast isn't going to say no just because the pace is different.

You might feel a little nervous about orchestrating a sensual encounter for your man. Taking on the role of planner may be new territory, but don't worry — these tried-and-true tips will have you feeling like a pro in no time. It helps to start building his desire earlier in the day.

Build Anticipation With Flirty Text Messages

Texting is the simplest way to start stoking his anticipation and teasing him throughout the day. Kick things off early with a few naughty texts, such as:

• I have a little plan for us tonight.
• If I were there right now, I would crawl under your desk and….
• I wish I could feel your mouth on me.
• I can't wait until you get home.
• I am so worked up right now, I can't wait to get my hands on you later.

Related: Try some of these 43 sexy text messages for more inspiration.

Setting the Mood for Seduction

Something as small as cracking a window for a few minutes to air out the room and clear stale odors makes a real difference. Fresh flowers and lit candles in the bedroom might feel like a cliché, but they genuinely help set the tone for romantic sex. Clean sheets matter too. Consider dusting a little baby powder between the sheets — it feels wonderful against bare skin once things start heating up.

The real trick to introducing your man to sensual sex is pacing yourself. He'll practically be begging you to go down on him, and trust me, you'll be more than ready too (he can return the favor using these 85 oral techniques for going down on you).

But…

Stay disciplined. Remember that the whole point is to draw things out and make him wait as long as you possibly can. He'll thank you later.

A great massage is an easy way to control the pacing. If giving one doesn't come naturally to you, don't stress — I'll walk you through how to give him an erotic massage as part of building toward sensual sex later on.

If music sets the mood for you both, put together a sex songs playlist made specifically for the night. Mix familiar favorites with surprises. Pro tip: find out what year he graduated high school and slip in a couple of romantic songs from that era — it'll melt him instantly.

Discover: Check out 12 more romantic ideas for setting the scene.

Start With a Shower Together

A huge part of sensual sex is showing your man just how much you care about him. One sexy way to do that is by joining him in the shower. Here's the game plan:

Before he gets home, get the shower running with you already inside. Leave a note on the front door telling him to come find you there.

When he steps in, have him turn his back to you. Lather up your hands and spread the foam across his back, sliding your palms up either side of his spine and just into his hairline. Trail your fingernails lightly down the outsides of his arms, then bring them back up to repeat the motion along his back.

More: How to have wild shower sex.

Important: Take the Reins

To set the stage for this shared experience, all you really need is his go-ahead to run the show. A great way to ask is something like:

What would be wrong with me being in charge tonight? Here's more on being dominant during sex if you want extra pointers.

Reward whatever answer he gives by pressing your breasts against his back and letting them slide against his skin.

Have him raise his arms overhead and rest them against the shower wall. Work the soap from top to bottom, letting your hands sweep around to his front, and let him know his lower half is going to get your full attention — eventually. Remind him that you're the one calling the shots, so it happens on your timeline. This is the perfect moment to start giving him a blow job, a hand job, or working through a few of our go-to foreplay tips.

The key here is building excitement bit by bit. Once you've explored him head to toe, tell him it's your turn, then face the wall and put your hands up against the tiles.

Let him return the favor, guiding his hands if you need to. He can also check out the Bad Boys Bible for tips on satisfying a woman.

If he starts getting a little too eager, remind him who's running the show and use that as your cue to rinse off. Send him ahead to lie face-down on the bed while you tell him you'll join him shortly. All that anticipation is the real secret to slow, sensual sex.

The Magic of a Good Massage

Climb onto him, straddling his thighs, and lean forward so your breasts press into his back.

Purr something a little dirty into his ear, like…

I love the feeling of my nipples on your back.

I think you are going to really like this.

I remember the first time we showered together.

Sit up and reach for the warm massage oil you left on the nightstand. (Tip: warm your bottle of oil ahead of time by placing it in a mug of hot water.)

Pour oil onto your hands and rub them together. Start by gently squeezing the muscles connecting his neck and shoulders. Knead the tension with your fingers, then lean in for a kiss on the back of his neck (check out more kissing tips). Smooth oil across his back and, with both hands close together, glide them all the way down and back up to the nape of his neck.

This move is simple but incredibly effective. Vary the speed of your strokes, spread your fingers for a different feel, or lightly scratch with your nails for an extra jolt of pleasure. From there, shift into long, sweeping figure-eight strokes across his entire back. Work from the base of his spine to his neck, crossing through the center each time, alternating between firm pressure and the lightest touch. If he's into it, add in that light scratch again.

Go deeper: Check out our guide on giving a sensual massage to push him over the edge.

Showtime: 10 Sensual Sex Moves to Try

By now, he'll likely be nearly begging you to touch, taste, and massage his testicles, penis, and everything in between. Tell him it's time to flip over, and if he tries pulling you in for a kiss, tease him a little and reassure him you're eager to explore him with your mouth — all of him — and that the wait will be worth it. Once he's on his back, work through these ten moves to turn him into a lifelong fan of sensual sex:

1. Begin With Light Touch – Sit yourself on his upper thighs again so his penis is right in front of you. Have him rest his hands behind his head. Keep eye contact as you trail your fingertips down the center of his chest, starting at his collarbones and continuing to the tip of his penis, then sweeping outward toward his hips. Repeat this four or five times.

2. Transition Into Sensual Kissing – Lean forward so your breasts graze his belly and chest, then kiss him. This doubles as excellent nipple stimulation for you. Start light, then part your lips and invite him in with some French kissing. Since you're on top, you get to control the pressure — pull back, lean in again, and mix things up as you explore him with your mouth.

3. Turn Up the Heat – While you're kissing, let your hand drift slowly — very slowly — down his chest and over his stomach until you reach his penis. Gently brush your fingertips across his testicles, then circle back up until your palm rests on his cheek. Trace your thumb along his jawline.

4. Check In and Ask What He Wants – Ask him, "What do you want, baby?" Echo back whatever he tells you, and reassure him that you want it too. Keep kissing, nibbling, and tasting him. Ask whether he'd rather receive a blow job or be inside you — you're still the one steering things.

5. Or Decide for Him – He might be too turned on to answer, and instead ask what you want. Depending on your mood, keep making out and drawing things out until he's panting with need. If, like me, you're craving going down on him at this point, follow that instinct with these techniques.

6. Kiss Your Way Down – Start kissing down his chest, circling each nipple before licking and sucking a little. With the right touch, some men can even experience nipple orgasms.

Return to the center of his chest and drag your tongue down over his stomach until you're just shy of his penis, close enough that he whimpers. Repeat this, going a little slower each time, then finish by softly kissing the tip.

7. Nearly Time – Lift off of him and have him spread his legs. Settle back on your knees, reach up once more to graze his chest with your nipples, then rest your head on his lower stomach, cheek close to his cock.

8. Just Hold Him – Tell him how much you love resting here like this. Let him know you can't wait to start sucking his cock, but that you want to admire it first. Reach over and take it in your hand, stroking lightly with your fingers before gripping it firmly, feeling how hard he's become. Tell him how much you love him like this.

Related: How to make your man hard.

9. Get Him Nice and Slick – Lick him from base to tip to make him slippery, which will help your hand glide easily around the base. With your other hand, cup his balls and massage them gently. Holding the base while your mouth moves over him keeps him from going too deep — though if you enjoy deep throating, you can skip holding the base altogether.

10. Finish Strong – Swirl your tongue around the tip while twisting your hand around the base, and enjoy watching him lose himself to your touch. Now you can fully please your man. Trace your tongue along the ridge and suck gently there. If he starts to feel dry, lick him again slowly, like a popsicle. Follow his cues and give him what he's craving — he's earned it 🙂

As you're giving head, feel free to mix in a few different blow job positions to keep things fresh.

The Finish Line

Once you've thoroughly pleasured him and he's lying there weak and breathless, be careful and gentle as you pull your mouth away. He may be extremely sensitive right after, so any touch can feel uncomfortable for a few minutes.

Simply pull back and rest your head on his belly, letting him savor what just happened. Once he's recovered, it's your turn (though that's a story for another day). You may discover that sensual sex works best when you take turns — one partner pleasing, then the other. And remember, we've only covered sensual oral sex here; there's a whole world of sex positions worth exploring too.

Sensual sex is a wonderful, natural way to pamper and satisfy your partner. Hopefully this has convinced you to try it — and better yet, make it a regular addition to your and your lover's sexual menu. Feel free to leave a comment and let us know if sensual sex is your thing too!

February 17, 2022