The Complete Guide To Giving An Amazing Blowjob

Women who genuinely excel at giving blow jobs all tend to share a handful of core habits.

I'm about to lay them out for you: the specific techniques, mindsets, and tips these "blow job pros" rely on to deliver the best oral sex of a man's life.

Everything gets broken down step-by-step, so you'll walk away with multiple techniques you can use immediately to start giving your man a great blow job. You'll also pick up tips and tactics for building his pleasure throughout and finishing him off in a way that produces his hardest orgasm yet.

I'll even cover some genuinely advanced techniques that will have him convinced you've been secretly training with a professional!

Right now, you're on Chapter 1 of this Blow Job Guide. This chapter covers the essential fundamentals you need before anything else, so don't skip ahead if you want to know how to give a truly great blow job.

At the bottom of the page, you'll find links to every other chapter, letting you dig into every angle of giving incredible oral once you've got the basics locked down — from slow, sensual BJ techniques to advice for your very first blow job, it's all covered.

You can jump straight to the chapter list here, but I'd recommend reading all of Chapter 1 first so you're giving a blow job with real confidence.

Getting The Most Out Of This Blow Job Guide

Using this guide to give your man the best blow job of his life is simple. Every chapter is packed with useful techniques and tips, so read start to finish for best results. Even if you already feel confident giving a blow job, there's likely something new here to pick up!

Before diving in, a few quick pointers to help you get the most from this guide.

Don't overwhelm yourself – You're about to absorb hundreds of powerful techniques. Trying to remember all of them in the moment, and picking the "right" one on the fly, is basically impossible.

Instead, focus on just one or two techniques at a time. Once those feel natural, layer in another one or two. This keeps things fresh and surprising for your man over time.

Keeping things varied also matters for another reason — routine and predictability can genuinely dampen his sexual interest over time [1].

Treat this like a cookbook – Approach this guide the way you'd approach a recipe book. You don't have to use every suggestion, tip, technique, or position listed.

Instead, stay flexible.

• Stick with whatever techniques deliver the most pleasure for your man, and skip the ones that don't land as well. Every guy responds differently.
• Feel free to tweak and personalize any of these techniques to fit you.

Lastly, if blow jobs just aren't your thing, that's completely fine too. If you don't enjoy giving oral, you're under no obligation to do it.

Communication & Preferences: Don't Skip This Part

Oral sex shows up throughout the animal kingdom — wolves [2], ground squirrels [3], bonobos [4], Tibetan macaques [5], flying foxes [6], bears [7], and fruit bats [8], to name just a few — but none of those species can communicate preferences the way you and your partner can. Good communication is what lets you quickly learn which techniques he loves and which ones just don't do much for him.

• Some guys are obsessed with deep throating, others couldn't care less.
• Some love the idea of you swallowing, while it does nothing for others.
• Some fantasize about finishing on your face, others find it pointless.
• Some want constant variety in how you spice up your blow jobs, while others prefer sticking with a familiar handful of moves.
• Some men love having their testicles fondled during oral, while it just distracts others.

The bigger point here is that your partner is going to respond strongly to some techniques in this guide and barely notice others. Talking to him directly and learning his actual preferences is what makes the difference.

That way, you'll quickly zero in on which techniques give him the most pleasure.

What About You?

To be clear — communication isn't a one-way street focused only on his desires. Yours matter just as much.

One study found that up to half of women aged 16 to 25 have felt pressured into giving oral sex [9]. Another study found that 12% of young women repeatedly engaged in oral sex and other acts they didn't enjoy simply because their partner pushed for it [10]. That's neither right nor fair, and it doesn't build a healthy relationship. If something doesn't feel right to you, your partner needs to understand and respect that fully.

With that established, here are a few quick tips for communicating effectively so you can give him a genuinely great blow job…

Getting Honest Feedback

Getting real, honest feedback on your technique matters if you want to keep improving. The best window for this is right after he orgasms — he'll be relaxed, grateful, and more open about what he actually wants.

Foreplay or after a couple of drinks also tends to be a good time to ask.

What if he's just really uptight and won't give you direct, useful feedback?

Try this approach:

The next time you're about to go down on him, offer a simple either/or choice beforehand:

"You've got two options: I can deep throat you until you finish, or I can focus entirely on the tip. Pick one — you don't get both."

If you're short on inspiration, offer him a choice between any of the techniques, tips, and ideas covered elsewhere in this guide.

Choking, Gagging, And Throwing Up

This tends to happen when a selfish partner meets zero boundaries.

If there's anything you genuinely don't enjoy while going down on him, he needs to know — and respect it. So if you're not into:

• Him pushing your head down with his hands.
• Deep throating.
• The taste of his cum.
• Marathon-length blow jobs.

Speak up, and make sure he respects those limits.

And of course, if you do enjoy these things, let him know that too 😉

What If He Smells?

It's totally normal for guys to smell a bit rough after a workout or a long day. If he hasn't showered recently, going down there might not be the most pleasant experience. This is purely a communication fix!

If he responds well to directness, try something like "Hey babe, want to hop in the shower before I go down on you?" Or suggest showering together!

One factor in genital odor is simply proximity to the anus — true for both partners. Poor hygiene there can create a pretty unpleasant smell. Wet wipes instead of toilet paper can help keep things fresher for both of you, though some guys need to put in real effort cleaning, especially if they're hairy.

Which brings us to the next point.

On The Topic Of Hair

Genitals come with hair — yours, his, everyone's. That's just how mammals work. But it can complicate things when giving oral.

If his hair is getting in your way during a first-time blow job, or any blow job really, suggest he trim it down. Trimming carries less risk of cuts than shaving while still keeping things tidy.

Full guide: How to shave your pubes.

If he wants to shave but struggles with it, offer to help him out in the shower.

Which, incidentally, could lead straight into shower sex.

Reading His Signals

For most guys, his body will give you the clearest feedback. When he's truly enjoying himself, he'll struggle to stay quiet or keep his body still. So watch for…

His breathing – Does it quicken or grow heavier — a sign he's into it? Or stay flat and unchanged?

His voice – Alongside breathing, listen for moans, groans, or the classic "Ahhhh" and "Ohhhh." These are obvious green lights. Bonus points if there's some divine invocation involved 😉

His body – Is he lying perfectly still, or writhing with pleasure? Clenched fists, curled toes, gripping you tighter, an arched back, or his head tilted back with chin raised — all clear signs you're doing something right.

The great thing about reading his body is that it never lies.

Here's an example…

Some guys who insist they're not into anal stimulation during oral might actually respond very differently in practice — shorter breaths, deeper groans, and a noticeably more intense orgasm.

The Takeaway

Listen to what he tells you, learn his preferences, make sure your own boundaries are respected, and absolutely pay attention to his body if you want to give him the best blow job of his life.

You'll find more great anal stimulation tips here.

For more on building strong sexual communication in general, check out this guide to help express your preferences clearly.

The Golden Technique – Enthusiasm

With an entire encyclopedia's worth of knowledge packed into this guide, you might be wondering what the single best blow job technique actually is?

The top technique isn't a physical move at all — it's a mindset. It's…

Enthusiasm

Enthusiasm might be the single most powerful ingredient you can bring to both your oral technique AND your sex life overall [11]. Think about it for a second…

Ever been with someone just going through the motions, seemingly bored and disengaged? It's a massive turn-off and can make you feel completely unwanted.

Now compare that to being with someone who can't keep their hands off you, who looks at you like you're the only thing in the room, and kisses and touches you with total intensity when you're intimate. Like nothing else in the world exists but you.

That's incredibly arousing.

That's someone acting with complete enthusiasm, fully locked in on you.

That's the power enthusiasm has.

When you give your partner a blow job (or a hand job, or have sex with him) while being genuinely enthusiastic and completely tuned in, it will turn him on far more than any specific technique could.

So even if you're not entirely sure what you're doing, lean into enthusiasm above all else. You'll be amazed how far that alone can go toward driving him wild with pleasure. A "perfect" blow job matters far less than a genuinely enthusiastic one!

Here are two scenarios that illustrate exactly why enthusiasm matters so much.

1. Picture yourself with very little blow job experience. You're not totally sure what you're doing, but you can barely wait to go down on your man. Once you're alone together, you push him onto the bed, yank off his pants, and take him into your mouth right away.

You're just doing a basic up-and-down motion, nothing fancy, but he can hear how into it you sound, see how much you're enjoying yourself, and feel your hands roaming his body as you soak in the pleasure you're giving him. You're totally absorbed in the moment, laser-focused on making him finish.

2. Now picture the opposite — you're very experienced and agree to give your man a blow job. First you ask him to shower and take out the trash. You lay a pillow down to protect your knees and remove your top, mostly to avoid getting it dirty.

You then run through a handful of advanced techniques, but stay completely silent, showing no real enthusiasm. You barely move, staying rigidly on your knees, mentally somewhere else entirely — maybe thinking about work emails.

Which scenario sounds hotter?

Scenario #1, obviously!

That's the power of enthusiasm at work. Even as a complete beginner, genuine enthusiasm instantly makes your blow jobs feel incredible.

Building Real Blow Job Confidence

None of these techniques will do much for you if you're anxious and awkward while actually performing them. The same principle applies to sex positions generally.

Your partner will feel far more satisfied if you seem — and genuinely feel — confident throughout.

That's exactly why I put together this list of confidence-boosting tips.

Practice, practice, practice – Building confidence for going down on your man starts with practice. And good news — you don't need him for that part. A dildo, or anything similarly shaped and clean, works perfectly.

Just avoid pushing it too far down your throat to prevent gagging! A flared base helps prevent it from going too deep, and it's a smart safety feature for anal use too.

Practicing regularly helps you internalize multiple techniques and figure out exactly how deep feels comfortable for you.

Sexual confidence isn't only about sex – It can sound confusing when people talk about "sexual confidence" in the context of satisfying your man. Being sexually confident isn't purely about skill in bed — it's really about being comfortable in your own body.

Studies actually show that the more at ease you are with your own body, the more sexually satisfied both you and your partner tend to be [12].

So if you thought mastering every technique in this guide would automatically give you total confidence, you're missing something important. Real sexual confidence starts with being at peace with who you are.

Nobody's perfect, and everyone carries insecurities about things they can't change.

Getting comfortable with yourself takes time. What's important is recognizing that most of the things you worry about matter far less than you think.

Remember, he's nervous too – Guys frequently struggle with their own sexual confidence! Common worries include:

• Not getting hard
• Losing his erection mid-act
• Finishing too quickly
• Not finishing at all
• Whether his penis is big enough
• Whether his penis looks "normal"
• Whether she's genuinely attracted to him

Those are just a few of the things guys stress about — there's plenty more.

So next time you go down on him, keep this in mind…

He's often too preoccupied worrying about his own performance to even register any "mistakes" on your end.

There's no such thing as a bad blow job – Last point: even a technically imperfect blow job will still feel great to him.

Keep Your Expectations Low

Going in with low expectations is an important mindset to bring whenever you go down on your man.

Here's what I mean.

If you give him oral expecting something specific in return, you're doing it for the wrong reasons — and setting yourself up for disappointment. A few examples of expecting something back:

• Assuming he'll reciprocate afterward.
• Assuming he owes you a favor (chores, cash, etc.).
• Assuming he'll shower you with compliments.

Giving oral with strings attached is the wrong motivation — it turns sex into a transaction of sorts.

Instead…

Only go down on him when you genuinely want to give him pleasure, full stop, nothing else attached.

That said…

This all sounds great as a philosophy, and truly zero expectations would be ideal, but realistically, it's human nature to feel some expectation when you do something for someone, sexual or not.

And if you give endlessly without ever expecting anything back, you risk being taken advantage of. Research actually shows men are slightly more likely to receive oral than give it [13, 14, 15] — which is exactly what can happen when needs go unspoken.

The core message: keep expectations as low as possible when giving your man a blow job, or any sexual pleasure for that matter.

A Great Blow Job Comes From Feeling Comfortable

I get emails weekly from readers asking something like, "How do I feel sexier while going down on my man?" These usually involve questions about outfits and behavior.

My answer is always the same:

Prioritize feeling comfortable — don't stress too much about looking sexy.

When comfort comes first, everything else — natural confidence, relaxation — follows, and giving him oral will feel effortlessly sexy.

But…

Force yourself into uncomfortable lingerie, stumble through awkward dirty talk, or push through deep throating you genuinely hate, and none of that reads as sexy.

Worse, your partner will pick up on the discomfort.

And that kills the mood for both of you.

Fortunately, Love Curi has full guides on choosing the perfect lingerie and talking dirty without the awkwardness.

Staying Safe

Safety absolutely comes first. Unsafe sex carries real risk of STIs — and yes, that includes oral sex! STIs can absolutely transmit through oral [16, 17, 18].

Some STIs show no symptoms and are easily treatable, but not all of them. Herpes, for example, can recur repeatedly once contracted [19, 20, 21]. Gonorrhea and herpes both spread via oral sex [22, 23]. HPV, meanwhile, is linked to cervical cancer [24, 25, 26], and can also cause throat cancer [27, 28, 29].

The good news: condoms during oral sex meaningfully lower the risk of transmission in either direction [30, 31, 32]. If you'd like to use one for blow jobs, flavored condoms make the experience noticeably more pleasant.

Now that you've built a solid foundation, head to Chapter 2 of this Blow Job Guide to pick up techniques that make the start of your blow jobs extra satisfying.

Of course, feel free to explore the rest of the chapters too:

Chapter 1

You're currently reading Chapter 1.

Chapter 2: Building Up To It

Chapter 2 walks you through building anticipation and how those very first licks and kisses on his cock can already have him groaning. I call this "blow job foreplay" — nail it, and he'll be bragging to his friends about your skills.

Start by teasing and touching before slowly, gently pleasuring him with your mouth. Every technique you need is covered in Chapter 2. Click here to read Chapter 2 now.

Chapter 3: Blow Job Techniques

Once you're actually giving oral, don't stick to a single technique the whole way through. Mixing things up keeps him guessing, including massaging his balls. Chapter 3 covers 55 different techniques to rotate through. Click here to start reading Chapter 3.

Chapter 4: Finishing Him Off In Style

There's a right way — and a seriously wrong way — to finish your man off. Done right, ejaculation can be intensely pleasurable for him; done wrong, it's just uncomfortable.

This chapter walks you through exactly how to bring him to a toe-curling, back-arching, screaming finish from your blow job. Read Chapter 4 here.

Chapter 5: Hardcore & Filthy Cock Sucking

Ready to take things even further and blow his mind completely? This chapter teaches even more advanced skills.

Learn how to give him a blow job like it's straight out of a porn scene. These techniques aren't for the faint of heart, but they'll leave him wondering what got into you. Click here for Chapter 5.

Chapter 6: 10 Blow Job Positions Demonstrated

Technique is only part of the equation — your position matters just as much. Will you kneel submissively? Push him onto the bed and take charge? Or lie back with your head hanging off the bed's edge while he stands?

The position you choose changes the entire sensation for him. Check out all 9 best blow job positions in Chapter 6.

Certain positions also make deep throating dramatically easier, which brings us to…

Chapter 7: Deep Throat With Ease

Deep throating can feel impossibly difficult…or surprisingly manageable, once you know how. This chapter covers controlling your gag reflex, ideal positions, and breathing techniques that make deep throating something you both genuinely look forward to. It's all about proper technique.

Toward the end of this chapter, you'll also pick up advanced deep throating moves that will leave him completely lost in the sensation. Click here for Chapter 7.

Chapter 8: 9 Bonus Oral Sex Techniques

I've added a whole extra chapter covering nine more techniques for intensely pleasuring your partner and delivering a killer blow job.

That way, you'll never run short on ways to keep him satisfied! Check out the nine bonus techniques in Chapter 8.

Chapter 9: Swallowing His Cum & Making It Taste Good

Swallowing is never something you're obligated to do, but if you're curious, this chapter walks you through making it feel easy, sexy, and fun. You'll pick up techniques for turning this into something arousing for both of you. Click here for Chapter 9.

Chapter 10: Fantastic Fellatio

Chapter 10 is where readers share their own favorite oral sex tips to push your man over the edge into full-blown ecstasy — and where you can contribute your own techniques too. Read Chapter 10 on giving great fellatio.

August 12, 2020