11 Insider Tricks For Deep Throating Your Man Like A Pro

In this installment of the Blow Job Guide, you're going to learn the full picture of deep throating your man — taming your gag reflex, finding the oral positions that make deep throating far more manageable, breathing while you do it, and of course, bringing him to a finish in memorable fashion.

If you've already gone through Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 & 6 of the Blow Job Guide, you already have a solid foundation for giving an incredible blow job. If you're not quite ready to tackle deep throating yet, I'd suggest reviewing those first. It's best to start on Chapter 1 here.

The Obstacle: Your Gag Reflex

The single most important part of learning to deep throat your boyfriend or husband without gagging is bringing your gag reflex — technically the pharyngeal reflex — under your control. About 37% of women are simply born without much of a gag reflex at all and can skip this issue entirely [1], but if you're not one of them, this section will walk you through getting it under control.

Once it's under control, deep throating stops being a struggle. The reflex is usually set off when something makes contact with the back of your throat, the roof of your mouth, your tonsils, or even the back of your tongue, triggering a spasm-like contraction [2].

Taming your gag reflex really comes down to desensitizing it over time. That means gradually "training" your throat and tonsils to stop reacting every time something — say, your man's penis — touches them. It takes patience and consistent effort; there's no shortcut. Follow the steps below to begin the desensitizing process.

1. Grab a finger, the handle of a toothbrush, a dildo, or anything else roughly phallic in shape. Make sure it's clean and sterile, and that it's safe — nothing that could injure your throat or get lodged in it.
2. Insert it into your mouth and gradually work it toward the back of your throat.
3. At some point it will trigger your gag reflex as it nears the back of your throat. When that happens, consciously try to override the reflex and hold your position.
4. Focus on breathing steadily through your nose while relaxing your throat muscles. This part is sometimes easy, sometimes genuinely hard. Keep at it, even if you gag by accident here and there.
5. Keep the finger, dildo, or toothbrush steady against the back of your throat for up to 10 seconds without moving it in or out.
6. Repeat this two to three times daily for about a week. By the end of that week, you'll notice it getting noticeably easier as your reflex becomes less reactive.
7. Over the following weeks, the sensitivity will keep dropping the more you practice. Once you notice real progress, it's time to level up: occasionally move the object slowly in and out of your mouth so it repeatedly brushes past the trigger point.
8. The first several attempts at this will strongly activate your gag reflex and may leave you feeling queasy. Push through by staying calm, breathing steadily, and relaxing even while your throat spasms.
9. After a few more weeks of practice, the sensitivity will have worn down enough that you can comfortably move a dildo in and out of your throat without excessive gagging, coughing, or convulsing.
10. At that point, you're ready to try it on your man.

This approach is the most reliable way to bring your gag reflex under control. Research has also pointed to other methods — acupuncture [3][4][5], ear plugs [6], pressure applied to the palm [7], nitrous oxide [8], and even ketamine [9] — but the training method above doesn't require doing anything in the moment, so you can stay fully focused on technique. Let's be honest: acupuncture and ear plugs aren't exactly setting the mood.

One Thing Your Man Should Understand

With your gag reflex now under control, it's time to put that training to use on your husband. Before you dive in, take a moment to consider things from his side… A partner who's paying attention and cares about you will understand that deep throating isn't always comfortable or easy for you. A less thoughtful guy might not give it much thought at all.

Regardless, he needs to understand that while deep throating can be genuinely challenging for you, there are things he can do to make it smoother and more enjoyable for both of you. Early on, it'll go a lot easier if he stays still and lets you control the movement entirely.

That way, you're the one dictating his pace and how deep he goes. Once he understands that you need to be the one in control, things get much easier for you — and eventually you'll have him begging for more. Bottom line: have a real conversation with him so he grasps how demanding deep throating can be for you. I go deeper into communication in this in-depth guide.

The Right Position Makes All the Difference

One of the biggest factors in making deep throating easier is finding an oral sex position that actually works for your body. You'll find a full rundown of different oral sex positions demonstrated here in Chapter 6.

Many women find that positions keeping the mouth and throat aligned work best, since there's less strain on the sides of the throat. The Lie Back position and the Jack Hammer position both achieve that alignment.

That said, everyone's different, and if your man has some curvature to his penis, a different position may suit you better. As always, experimenting is the way to find your best fit.

Breathing Matters Too

Getting your gag reflex under control is only the first piece of the puzzle.

You also have to breathe. Sounds like a given, right?

It's trickier than it sounds. With his penis lodged in your throat, breathing naturally becomes harder. If he's especially well-endowed, it might feel next to impossible. Here's what I'd suggest…

Try nose breathing. You might only get a split second of air each time he pulls back on a stroke — or it may not be feasible at all, depending on your anatomy and his size. If nose breathing works for you, great. If it doesn't, there's another route…

Take breaks.

That's really all there is to it. If breathing isn't happening at all, pause every 10 seconds or so to catch your breath. Not ideal, but it works. And a break doesn't mean stopping oral entirely — you can switch to techniques from Chapter 2, or tips from Chapter 3 or Chapter 8.

Next-Level Deep Throating Moves

Plenty of men go their entire lives without ever experiencing deep throating. Even a handful of in-and-out strokes will leave him grateful. But if you want to take things further, there are some genuinely powerful techniques worth trying.

Tongue on his balls – If you're kneeling while he stands, similar to the kneeling blow job position, you're perfectly positioned to extend your tongue and lick his testicles while he's still deep in your throat. The trick is keeping him still and deep as you do it.

Most guys have never had this happen to them before, so expect an extremely happy reaction.

Humming – Try humming at least once while he's held deep in your throat, without any thrusting motion. It probably won't push him over the edge on its own, but the vibration creates an intensely satisfying feeling, especially near orgasm.

Throat contractions – This one's harder to master. When you gag, your throat naturally tightens as the pharyngeal muscles contract. Uncomfortable for you, sure, but for a man deep in your throat, those spasms can feel incredible.

If you have real control over your gag response, you can let your throat spasm slightly while he's inside. But if you can't control it at all, skip this one — accidentally biting down during a gag can send you to the ER, and that's a night nobody wants.

Your hands – With deep throating, your hands are free to use. Rest them on his legs or stomach to control how deep and fast you take him, or reach around and pull him in by the bum.

There are plenty of other hand techniques worth trying that I cover here.

A few more ideas:

• Drag your nails lightly across his chest and back as you deep throat him.
• Squeeze his bum with your hands.
• Rub, scratch, or caress his perineum.
• Slip a finger (or two) in to massage his prostate. This guide will walk you through doing it well.
• Rub, massage, or gently squeeze his balls.

Finishing in your throat – Most men have had a partner finish them off in her mouth before, so that sensation is familiar. Far fewer have experienced climaxing while deep in a partner's throat — it's an entirely different feeling for him, and for you too.

Like everything about deep throating, this takes practice, but pull it off and you'll have an ecstatic man on your hands.

Side note: We also put together this guide on avoiding your teeth during deep throating and blow jobs, worth a look if you're worried about accidentally scraping him.

Expect Things to Get Wet

Once you start deep throating, you'll notice a lot more saliva than usual. That's completely normal for nearly every woman and nothing to stress over. It's just how the body responds, and it doubles as a natural lubricant — a bonus if either of you is into a spit kink.

If you're aiming to give him fellatio like a pro with plenty of sloppiness, deep throating handles both goals at once. More tips on sucking cock like a pornstar here.

When It Just Doesn't Work For You

This guide gives you everything you need to deep throat your man like a pro… but not every woman will be able to, no matter how much she practices or how hard she tries to tame her gag reflex.

Why not?

A small share of women have an overactive gag reflex that simply won't budge, no matter the effort put into desensitizing it. It stays hypersensitive even to minor stimulation, sometimes making even standard blow jobs a challenge.

If that's you, don't sweat it — it's not a dealbreaker. Plenty of other sex tips exist that don't involve deep throating at all. Start here if you're looking for more powerful sex tips.

I wish there were a magic fix for an unresponsive gag reflex, but there isn't. Some suggest a throat-numbing spray — I strongly advise against that. Your gag reflex, like any pain signal your body sends, exists to warn you that something's not right.

Bringing It Home

As mentioned earlier, you can let your man finish deep in your throat. Or you can have him finish in your mouth and swallow, with tips on that in Chapter 9. There are plenty of other satisfying ways to finish him off during oral that I cover in Chapter 4 here.

June 29, 2016