How To Finger A Girl: 15 Techniques For Screaming Orgasms

Below are 15 distinct techniques for fingering your girl and delivering intense orgasms. We'll start with clit-focused techniques, then move into penetrating and massaging her pussy with your fingers. Keep in mind...

This is part of Step 3 of the Bad Boys Bible. You can also learn about eating her pussy, making her squirt, and her orgasm elsewhere in Step 3, but ideally you've already worked through the two most foundational parts of the Bad Boys Bible: Removing The Brakes To Her Sex Drive and Amplifying The Accelerators To Her Sex Drive.

If you haven't, the techniques below will land with a lot less impact once you start touching and fingering her.

Her Anatomy

If your grasp of female anatomy isn't rock solid, take the time to read this guide to the female sexual anatomy, covering both her external anatomy (her vulva) and internal structures. Go read it now if you haven't already.

Quick refresher — here's her external anatomy, aka her vulva:

And here's her internal anatomy:

How To Finger Your Girl – The Techniques

Before diving in, one essential piece of advice...

While fingering her toward orgasm, you absolutely need her feedback throughout. It's the only real way to know you're pleasing her and not causing discomfort. It's the single biggest factor in becoming the best she's ever had.

Now, onto the techniques...

1. Rubbing Her Clit

The simplest path to orgasm is rubbing her clit directly. Most women either need or strongly prefer clitoral stimulation to climax [1], though 64% report that both clitoral and vaginal stimulation together make up their typical route to orgasm [2]. Another study found women rate their clitoris as more sensitive than their vagina in terms of pleasurable response [3].

The takeaway from the research: vaginal stimulation absolutely contributes, but for most women the clitoris is the most sensitive area and deserves the bulk of your attention if orgasm through fingering is the goal.

Side note: Some women just don't orgasm easily from clitoral stimulation alone, and that's totally normal, the same way some guys finish quickly (there's a guide on lasting longer in bed if that's a concern for you).

Even on its own, clit rubbing is enough to get most women to climax, provided you've already gotten her in the mood by removing the Brakes to her sex drive and actively amplifying the Accelerators. If you haven't done that groundwork, circle back before moving to vaginal fingering.

There are countless ways to rub her clit, shown in the examples above and below: up and down, side to side, or any angle in between. Simple in theory, but a few caveats matter a lot for her comfort...

You'll almost always need lube, otherwise friction turns pleasure into discomfort fast. It also helps your fingers glide more smoothly, similar to masturbating with versus without lube. Two options here:

1. Ideally, press a finger lightly into her vagina first and use her own natural lubrication on your fingertip, returning for more whenever it dries out. This won't be enough for every woman, though.
2. Alternatively, keep a bottle of lube within reach.

Read More: What Is Lube And Should You Use It?

Next, figure out which type of rubbing works best for her:

• Direct contact on the clit, or lighter contact around its edges, or somewhere in between?
• Firm or gentle pressure, or something in the middle?
• Fast, slow, or medium speed?
• Some blend of all of the above?

As always, the real key to satisfying her is discovering what SHE responds to, not blindly following a script — get feedback, whether through her body language or direct conversation.

Get tips for talking about sex.

You can also weave this technique into doggy style sex. Here are some doggy style positions for inspiration.

2. Long, Slow Strokes

Stroking from the base of her vagina up to her clit is a fantastic way to please her, and it doubles as a great way to coat your finger in her natural lubrication. Vary your pressure and speed as you go, and feel free to reverse direction too, moving from clit down to vagina.

Don't hold back on compliments as you go. Plenty of women feel self-conscious during sex, the same way some guys worry about penis size.

You can use a single finger as shown above, or move to two or three, or try the next technique...

3. Four Fingers Of Fun

For a partner who needs more intense stimulation, this one delivers — rub all four fingers over her clit, labia, and vaginal opening in a circular motion. Her own natural lubrication will make it noticeably slicker and more satisfying.

As always, experiment: pressure, circle size, and finger count (two or three fingers might actually feel better than four) all matter.

4. Her U Spot

The U Spot deserves the nickname "secret spot" since so few people even know it exists. It's shown in the diagram below as a darker shade of pink, though it won't have any visible marking on an actual partner. It sits just above and around the urethra.

Just like clitoral stimulation, a lubed finger works best here. Gently stroke it as shown in the diagram below. Extending your finger up toward her clit while stroking adds even more pleasurable stimulation.

Not every woman finds the U Spot especially exciting, so if it's not landing, don't force it — just move to another technique.

Find out more about the U spot.

5. The Clitoral Hood

Some women have a clitoris so sensitive that direct touch, however gentle, actually hurts. If that's her, there's a simple workaround.

Rub the clitoral hood instead — the small fold of skin covering the clit, similar to foreskin covering a penis [4]. It acts as a natural buffer, letting you deliver plenty of pleasurable stimulation without direct contact.

Just like a penis, her clit becomes erect with arousal too.

Side note: struggling to get or stay hard yourself? Check our guide on getting hard and maintaining your erection longer.

6. Orgasmic Meditation

Orgasmic Meditation might sound a little out there, reserved for yoga retreats and green juice, but it's the name that's misleading, not the technique. Done right, it can deliver a 15-minute orgasm.

Yes, 15 minutes.

Nobody's entirely sure why it works as well as it does, but once you see the results, you'll both be converts.

Related: Orgasmic Meditation: What It Is + Why You Need To Try It

To set up, have her lie on her back with legs spread and relaxed. Position yourself comfortably at her right side, left leg bent over her stomach, right leg under hers. Using one lubricated finger, stroke the upper left quadrant of her clit very slowly and lightly (marked between the dotted lines in the illustration above). Keep your touch as light as physically possible.

Move your finger just a few millimeters back and forth, barely any pressure at all. Some women find this borderline frustrating and can't tolerate it for long, feeling teased; others say it gets better the longer it continues.

That reaction is actually the point. Even without a prolonged orgasm, this technique is great for building anticipation.

So even if she's begging for more pressure, hold back and stay as light as possible.

Sex is deeply personal, so there's no single "correct" way to do this. If a variation works better for you two, run with it, treat this as a set of guidelines rather than rigid rules. Try lying beside her instead, or focus on a different area of her clit, whatever clicks best for both of you.

Note: while plenty of praise exists online for this technique, Bloomberg published some critical investigative journalism on the organization behind Orgasmic Meditation courses. Worth a read before engaging with them.

7. Squeezing And Massaging The Base Of Her Clit

You already know how sensitive the tip of her clit is. What you might not know is that most of the clitoral structure actually sits below the surface [5].

So try engaging the parts that usually get overlooked, by massaging and gently squeezing the base.

Place your thumb and index finger on either side of her clit, as shown above, then GENTLY press down and inward, "squeezing" the base between the surrounding folds of skin. Never squeeze the exposed tip directly, that will hurt.

Start with very light pressure and watch her reaction, adjusting up or down from there.

From there, roll it gently between your thumb and index finger, or add a light up-and-down motion.

As always, experimentation paired with her feedback is what tells you exactly what she enjoys here.

8. Loving Her Labia

Her labia aren't nearly as sensitive as her clit, but there's still plenty of pleasure to be found there.

Slowly stroking them up and down, as shown above, can build her right up to the edge without tipping her over, making for excellent foreplay.

For many women, the clit becomes hypersensitive and even uncomfortable right after clitoral orgasm, so give it a few minutes' rest. Her labia make a perfect alternative focus in that window. If they're long enough, you can even stimulate her clit indirectly through them if direct touch feels like too much.

Natural lubrication or a bottle of your own will make stroking her labia feel even better.

9. Humping And Grinding

Plenty of women first discover masturbation through dry humping or grinding against a pillow, toy, blanket, or bed, and some use it as foreplay before sex too [7]. Put that to work toward her orgasm with either of these:

• While she's lying down, slip one leg between hers, pressing gently against her vulva, then slowly move it back and forth against her.
• While seated, have her straddle one of your legs and grind against it as you guide her hips forward and back.

Basically, any position that lets her grind against you works great.

10. Pearl Necklace

We went back and forth on including this one. It looks incredibly sexy but doesn't land for everyone, some women find it underwhelming or even a bit gimmicky.

The technique: take a necklace strung with round beads and gently pull it back and forth between her labia so it runs over her vagina.

Add lube from a bottle if either of you wants extra glide.

11. Fingering From Behind

Every woman's different, so her go-to fingering style may differ entirely from partners you've had before. The only real way to know is to experiment or simply ask. If she's willing, let her guide your hand at the angle she prefers so you can match her go-to technique.

That said, plenty of women enjoy being fingered from behind, entering from the opposite side of the vagina from the G Spot, as shown above.

12. Fingering Her G-Spot

If you're touching her vagina at all, the G-spot deserves attention. It's one of the most sensitive internal spots, though plenty of women find the A-spot just as stimulating.

Learn more about the A-spot.

Her G-spot sits roughly two inches inside, along the front (anterior) wall [8, 9, 10]. Slide your fingers in and curl them around her pubic bone to find it. It's essentially where her clitoris can be accessed internally [11], so stimulating both inside and outside at once delivers pleasure from two directions.

Discover how to find the G Spot

If you're unsure exactly where to focus, feel for subtle ridges or grape-like bumps flanked by "gutters" [12 p 82-83] — that's her G-spot. It's typically easier to locate once she's fully aroused, since arousal makes it swell [8, 13].

Her G-spot also plays a key role in squirting — more in this guide to making her squirt.

How To Finger A Pussy Internally

Whether you're targeting the G-spot or just want general internal stimulation, these tips help:

• Use lube.
• Keep fingernails short and smoothly filed.
• Same goes for rough or calloused hands.
• Wash your hands first to avoid spreading bacteria and causing infection.
• Start with one finger. You can add more later (some women enjoy four fingers, or even fisting), but let her adjust to each addition as you go.
• Read her reactions closely. Tensing up, pulling away, or signs of discomfort mean back off. Moaning, heavier breathing, or moving closer means keep going (how to moan during sex).

13. Fingering Her Anally

Fingering doesn't have to stop at her clit and vagina. Anal stimulation might be worth exploring too, though not every woman enjoys it, hence "might."

If she's into it, anal fingering is a solid entry point before moving toward full anal sex. If not, no big deal, plenty of other orgasm techniques exist, from eating her out to helping her squirt.

Before starting, know that her anus doesn't self-lubricate the way her vagina does, so lube is essential. Saliva can work in a pinch, but keeping proper lubricant nearby is smarter. Coat your finger and the outside of her anus, then press in slowly.

Take it slow and read her feedback closely, both verbal and physical. Her sphincter needs time to relax, and pushing in before that happens will hurt her. Maintain gentle, steady pressure until it relaxes, then move in and out slowly.

You can stimulate her clit with your other hand simultaneously for added pleasure.

Important – Never touch her vagina right after anal touch without washing first. Transferring bacteria from anus to vagina risks bacterial vaginosis or worse. Wash thoroughly after any anal play, and this applies to anything else that's been in her ass too.

Important – Ideally, know beforehand whether she enjoys anal play. If it's her first time, stay closely tuned into her feedback about what feels good and what doesn't.

Want to go further? Check out the guide on how to have anal sex.

14. Fingers Plus A Vibrator

Mixing tools is always worth trying — don't hesitate to combine fingers with a vibrator. One option: fingers for penetration while the vibrator handles clitoral stimulation.

Or flip it, fingers on the clit while the vibrator penetrates. As always, try a few combinations to find what she responds to best.

Some vibrators even strap onto your hand, turning your fingers themselves into the vibrating tool.

15. Fingers Inside And Out

No vibrator on hand? This technique combines internal and external stimulation using just your fingers.

Insert one or two fingers, middle and ring work well for two, with pinky and index extended (think Spider-Man's web-shooting pose). Instead of keeping your arm straight, curl your wrist back toward her body. This lets the heel of your hand press against her clitoris for stimulation on both fronts at once.

You can also dial back intensity: with two fingers inserted, use your thumb to work her clit separately.

Want Even More Fingering Techniques?

Now that you've got 15 solid techniques under your belt, you might want more.

Check out the full Bad Boys Bible for further reading.

That said...

The single best source for new fingering techniques is her. She already knows what she loves, and it varies enormously between women, so ask her to show and guide you so you can keep expanding your skill set.

And honestly, there's an added bonus here too: watching your girlfriend enjoy herself and orgasm right in front of you.

September 19, 2018