Dildo Techniques: How To Use One For Maximum Self-Pleasure

Sex toy shops, both online and brick-and-mortar, stock an overwhelming range of dildos. Sleek steel, vivid silicone, glass in every shape and size — that's really just scratching the surface. Maybe you've bought one, eager to start exploring masturbation and orgasm in a whole new way. This page covers everything worth knowing about using a dildo for maximum pleasure. Or maybe you're already experienced and hunting for fresh tricks to keep things from feeling routine, or you've noticed that simply mimicking intercourse motions doesn't do much for your G Spot with a dildo. Either way, these techniques will boost your pleasure and help you get the most out of your solo sessions.

Before You Begin

Setting the Mood – If you've ever dimmed the lights, drawn the blinds, and lit candles before sex, you already know how much ambiance shifts your mood. The same logic applies solo. Light a candle, throw on something sexy to listen to, dim the lights if that helps, and lock the door so interruptions aren't a worry.

Properly hitting your G Spot with a dildo can trigger female ejaculation [1] (learn more about squirting in this detailed guide), so laying down a towel beforehand might help you relax into letting go. Grab a favorite piece of erotica to set the scene — just keep the lube away from the pages!

I go into detail on setting the mood in this section of the Vibrator Guide, and this article on how to make yourself horny is worth a look too.

Choosing the Right Dildo – You'll encounter a huge range of shapes, sizes, and styles when shopping. What matters most is picking whatever suits your own needs and desires.

Hard stimulation fans should look at glass, steel, or wooden dildos. Craving extra sensation? A vibrating model delivers that. Love the feeling of being stretched? Go larger, or consider an inflatable option. Interestingly, one study found most dildos on the market roughly match average penis size, suggesting that's genuinely what most women gravitate toward [2]. And if simultaneous clitoral stimulation during penetration appeals to you, a rabbit-style vibrator/dildo fits the bill.

Don't Forget About Warmup – Diving straight into dildo play isn't always ideal — warming up first often helps. That might mean manual stimulation (these masturbation techniques should help) or an orgasm or two beforehand (here are some deeply satisfying ways to finger yourself).

If natural lubrication is limited, reach for lube. Reported benefits include heightened arousal, desire, and pleasure, along with a more enjoyable and physically comfortable experience overall [3].

Our Favorite Dildo Techniques

Once you're properly warmed up, it's time to try out some genuinely satisfying techniques.

1. Deep Thrusting

This one lives up to its name exactly — thrusting the full length of your vagina delivers intense stimulation, especially with a textured dildo.

Serious thrusting calls for a toy with a firm enough core to avoid bending, though it doesn't need to be completely rigid. Overly soft dildos can make this motion frustrating, and heavily textured toys might feel like too much — a smoother or curved dildo may suit you better than one covered in deep ridges or bumps.

2. Short and Shallow

Most sensitive nerve endings cluster in the outer third of the vagina, so deep thrusting isn't strictly necessary to enjoy a session. Short, quick strokes keep the dildo away from your cervix and tend to spare your wrists too!

Just because a toy allows up to seven inches of insertion doesn't mean you have to use all of it — that extra shaft length can simply serve as a better handhold.

3. Rock It Out

A straight dildo doesn't limit you to straightforward thrusting. Rocking involves shifting it back and forth at an angle so the tip presses firmly against the lower vaginal wall (posterior wall). Lying on your back, for example, the dildo should point downward toward the bed as you begin inserting it.

Expect a sensation similar to thrusting, plus added clitoral stimulation and extra pressure near the vaginal opening. Rocking works especially well with softer silicone dildos that have some give, or curved toys designed for simultaneous clitoral and vaginal stimulation.

4. Keep on Turning

An entire dildo category, known as "juicers," comes equipped with cranks you turn once inserted. Most dildos actually accommodate this rotating motion, provided there's no sharp angle that causes discomfort.

5. Milk the G Spot

To "milk" your G Spot with a dildo, drag the upper portion across it as you pull the toy outward, then push it against the front vaginal wall (anterior wall) as you slide back in. Rigid toys — glass, wood, or metal — deliver the most intense version of this sensation, and plenty of dildos come with a curve built specifically for G Spot targeting.

Read: Detailed guide on finding your G Spot.

The same basic motion works for stimulating a man's prostate too.

6. Filling Feeling

Motion isn't required to enjoy a dildo. Find one that feels comfortable inserted, leave it in place, and stimulate your clit to orgasm — the toy alone can heighten the experience without moving at all.

Amplify that filling sensation by pressing down on your lower stomach with your hand(s), pushing your G Spot deeper into the vagina.

7. Temperature Play

If a glass or steel dildo has ever shocked your system with how cold it felt going in, warming it up first can make things far more comfortable. Temperature play simply means adjusting a toy's temperature before use. A chilled dildo trailed across your nipples can feel tantalizing, while a warmed surface might help you relax enough to take a larger toy.

Submerge waterproof toys in a bowl of warm or cool water, or hold them under running faucet water. Glass, steel, and ceramic respond well to this; silicone and wood barely shift with temperature.

Always test the temperature against your hand before inserting anything warmed or chilled, and never microwave or oven-heat a toy — that's a guaranteed route to burns inside the vagina or on the vulva. And remember, without a dildo on hand, your fingers work just as well using these fingering techniques.

8. Anal

Anal sex fans will likely enjoy incorporating a dildo for backdoor pleasure too. The usual precautions apply: use plenty of lube, and clean the toy thoroughly before it goes anywhere near your vagina again. Check out our guide to anal masturbation for more.

9. Double Penetration

Double penetration is a common fantasy worth exploring. Four combinations work well with a dildo:

1. Two dildos, one vaginal, one anal.
2. Dildo plus butt plug.
3. Dildo plus your fingers.
4. Dildo plus your partner.

Trying this solo first often helps you gauge the sensation before bringing a partner (or partners!) in. And again, cleaning anything that's touched the anus before it goes near the vagina is essential.

10. Put On A Show

Since men respond strongly to visual stimulation, putting these techniques on display for your partner can be a genuinely fun move. This works whether he's lying right beside you or watching over video call in a long-distance relationship (more tips on video call sex here). If he's physically present, inviting him to lend a hand is always an option too.

11. Mix It Up & Experiment

This point keeps coming up throughout Love Curi, but it bears repeating: the single best thing you can do is experiment freely, discovering fresh, more pleasurable ways to use your dildo, solo and partnered alike. Deep, intense penetration might trigger full-body, shaking orgasms for you, or you might find that simply grazing the outside of your vagina sends chills down your spine instead.

12. All About The A Spot

Nearly every student I've worked with knows their G Spot, yet the A Spot rarely comes up. This equally sensitive, satisfying zone sits in a similar region to the G Spot, just deeper, right near the cervix. The most rewarding way to stimulate it does not involve in-and-out thrusting — instead, hold your dildo steady against it and apply constant pressure. Some women need genuinely intense pressure before it feels pleasurable. Learn more about your A Spot here.

Position Perfect

Before dismissing a toy or technique entirely, remember it might simply need the right position to shine. Just as you've likely experimented with positioning and pillows to line things up with a partner, the same trial and error applies here. A rounder midsection, shorter arms, or limited flexibility might create some obstacles, but that shouldn't stop you from finding your own groove — the same philosophy applies to choosing sex positions generally….and you can find over 100 different sex positions here, complete with illustrated demonstrations.

1. Lying Down – Many people default to masturbating flat on their back facing upward. The view isn't much, but it works remarkably well. Pull your knees toward your chest to shift the angle and boost G Spot stimulation, or slide a pillow beneath your hips or butt for easier access.

2. Facing Down – Lying face down is another option. Longer arms let you reach over your back to thrust, or underneath yourself if that's more comfortable. A supportive pillow beneath the hips, raising your butt slightly, can improve the angle.

3. Sideways – Lying on your side with legs pressed together can make a toy feel larger, and it's often easier than the face-down position. Straight or bent knees each offer a different feel. You can find more masturbation techniques here.

4. Sitting – Not just feet-flat-on-the-floor sitting — prop your feet against a wall, desk, or table for unobstructed dildo access. This position also pairs well if you're watching something on a screen in front of you.

5. Riding Your Dildo – Suction-cup dildos open up plenty of possibilities. Stick one to your shower wall for hands-free stimulation while using your shower head for extra sensation, or attach one to a coffee table and straddle it from above — freeing up a hand or two for clit stimulation in the process.

Final Thoughts On Using Your Dildo

Ignore the Instructions – Sex toy makers often package G Spot toys in pink or purple for women, while nearly identically shaped toys ship in black or blue, marketed toward men for prostate stimulation, which similarly benefits from a curved design [4]. Ignore that gendered packaging entirely if a "men's" toy seems like it might become your G Spot's new favorite.

Suggested use isn't binding. The curve is what actually matters.

Love running a textured dildo along your clit with legs pressed together? Go for it — that willingness to experiment freely is exactly what helps you find your ideal technique.

What If You Don't Like It? – Don't stress if a particular technique never quite clicks for you. Even if a friend swears by hard, fast dildo use, that doesn't mean it'll suit you. And your body's response can shift for all sorts of reasons — milking the G Spot might feel amazing one day and irritating the next.

Factors like where you are in your menstrual cycle [5], stress, fatigue, illness, and current arousal level all shape how good (or lackluster) a given session feels — the same holds true for sex generally.

Experimenting across techniques and positions means you can switch to something gentler on days your cervix feels extra sensitive, or stumble onto entirely new favorites, keeping masturbation from ever feeling stale.

You can also introduce new techniques and toys to a partner, comfort permitting, potentially becoming a better lover in the process or gaining language to explain what satisfies you most. Nearly all these techniques translate directly to a real penis or vibrator (tips on getting the most from a vibrator here), though you don't need any of that to have plenty of fun with a standard dildo whenever you've got a spare moment to yourself!

February 12, 2018