162 Dominant Phrases To Say To Your Submissive

Below you'll find 162 dominant phrases for your sub — lines that help you feel more confident and commanding while leaving your partner feeling submissive and turned on. We cover what to say across every flavor of domination, from sensual and gentle to rough and intense, plus what to say when your sub is being a brat. Feel free to skip straight to the example phrases, though I'd recommend reading through the different domination styles first…

The Many Flavors Of Domination

Think every dominant phrase has to sound harsh, cruel, or degrading? Think again! Different kinds of submissives and dominants exist, which means what you say to your sub might sound nothing like what another dom says to theirs.

Sensual domination – Sensual domination centers on arousing the senses and can be genuinely gentle.

Brat taming – Brat tamers need to be firm enough to establish who's in charge, without going so far it stings emotionally.

Read More: What Is Brat BDSM?

Degradation/Humiliation – For those drawn to degradation kink, the language used with a sub can sound genuinely extreme to outsiders.

These are just a handful of flavors within domination and D/s relationships.

A common mistake is reaching for dominant phrases that don't actually match your natural style or personality — which is exactly why you might freeze up trying to give instructions or praise!

Keep this in mind while browsing BDSM roleplay ideas.

The real key is staying yourself, just dialed up into dominant mode — not copying some movie trope, especially if it's not what you or your sub actually wants.

Caring dominance – Even when firmness is called for, there's always room to show your more caring, protective side as a dom.

Some phrases below overlap across categories or sound similar to other kinds of dominant dirty talk. Often, all it takes to shift how a phrase lands is a change in tone, not the words themselves!

You can absolutely tweak the wording too, but small adjustments often go a long way. Softening your voice while adding your partner's nickname, for instance, can completely transform the mood of a line.

Keep that in mind as you work through these dominant phrases — no need to reinvent anything when a small tweak gets you exactly what you're after.

Go deeper: 19 different dominant types.

11 Sensually Dominant Phrases For Your Sub

Sensual domination is about engaging the senses, so it often leans on texture and physical sensation (more on sensual domination). Still, plenty of room remains for talking to your sub.

If sensation is your focus, pay close attention to how you use your voice. Softer, huskier tones fit this style better and can even function as their own kind of sensation play — try speaking close to your partner's ear so they feel your breath as you talk.

1. You look incredible when I touch you like this.
2. Close your eyes for me.
3. You're about to feel me touch your [body part] with [body part or item].
4. If only you could see how good you look right now.
5. Focus entirely on this feeling.
6. Tell me exactly how this feels.
7. I'm about to seduce you completely.
8. I'm going to make this feel amazing.
9. Hold perfectly still for me.
10. You're going to love this sensation.
11. Once I blindfold you, your other senses will sharpen.

And remember, words aren't always necessary. A moan, a sigh, or a low growl can say just as much — sometimes without any words at all!

More: Here's a further 73 dirty phrases to say to your man.

10 Encouraging Phrases For Your Sub

These lines work beautifully if your D/s dynamic leans sweeter and more nurturing, or if you simply want to praise and encourage your partner.

1. You're doing such a good job. (Perfect while receiving a blow job)
2. You know exactly how I like it.
3. I love how hard you're trying for me.
4. You're mommy's/daddy's good girl/boy.
5. I'll let you pick your reward this time.
6. You've got this.
7. I adore your [body part].
8. I can't wait to show you off.
9. I knew you had it in you.
10. You look incredible like that.

These may read as fairly simple, but a bit of descriptive flair can elevate any of them dramatically — for both of you.

Psst, some people simply love hearing they've done a great job! That's a praise kink, and it's genuinely hot.

14 Firm, Commanding Phrases For Your Sub

You probably won't be strict all the time, but when it's time to hand out a training punishment or a stern command, these phrases come in handy.

1. You have until three to do as I say.
2. Did I say you could stop, or get up?
3. You'll come only when — and if — I say so.
4. I decide when you use the bathroom.
5. Don't talk back to me.
6. You don't get to come yet.
7. On your knees. Now.
8. You'll do exactly as I say.
9. Address me as "Master" or "Mistress."
10. Assume the position. (Learn over 100 sex positions)
11. Strip. (Discover how to strip for your man)
12. Pleasure me. (Learn how to fully please a man)
13. Disobey me, and I'll have no choice but to punish you.
14. I won't say it twice.

Keep in mind firmness isn't the same thing as cruelty. Commands can be forceful, but your words and actions should still ultimately serve your partner in some way, even if training is the focus.

You're still fully responsible for your partner's wellbeing throughout, so know how to wield both your words and your tools without causing genuine harm. That includes understanding subspace.

Learn more about BDSM subspace.

10 Degrading Phrases For Your Sub

For some people, nothing gets them wetter or harder than being degraded — if that's your dynamic, these phrases might land exactly right.

1. Is that seriously the best you've got?
2. How exactly is that supposed to please me?
3. If you can't do it properly, I'll find someone who can.
4. Is it even in yet?
5. I'll make sure everyone knows how small/pathetic/ugly it is.
6. You're lucky I still bother with you.
7. I always knew you were a filthy slut/whore/bitch. (Learn how to be slutty for your partner)
8. That mouth is only good for catching my cum.
9. Something that small/ugly/useless is honestly funny.
10. Are you even worth my attention right now?

Get more ideas for fulfilling a degradation and humiliation kink.

Keep in mind some people genuinely dislike being degraded, and certain words can be triggering while others land completely fine. To avoid upsetting your partner, talk through degrading or humiliating dominance beforehand rather than diving in cold.

This guide on sexual communication is a great place to start that conversation.

20 Dominant Phrases For Rough Play With Your Sub

If you're a dom who's into rough sex, this is the perfect place to bring in some dominant dirty talk.

1. Behave, and this goes easier and faster.
2. You're the one who does this to me.
3. Ready to choke on my cock? (More on choking your partner during sex)
4. Open your mouth. Now.
5. I can take it, or you can hand it over. Your call. (Works well with a CNC kink)
6. Your slutty pussy exists for me to fuck.
7. What kind of slut gets off exactly like that?
8. You're such a dirty whore that sucking my cock/eating my pussy actually turns you on, doesn't it?
9. I warned you I'd give it to you tonight.
10. This is what happens when you look this sexy.
11. Spread yourself open so I can see all of you.
12. You know I can have you whenever I please.
13. Crawl over here.
14. Get on your knees.
15. Whose pussy/cock is this? (They answer "Yours")
16. Tell me exactly how badly you want it.
17. Don't you dare stop.
18. Do you want my cock/pussy?
19. You'd better count every single spank. (Learn how to spank your husband)
20. You think that was bad? I've barely started.

18 Dominant Mommy/Daddy Phrases For Your Submissive

Some people love playing Mommy or Daddy to their "little" — it's a genuinely common flavor of domination. If that's your dynamic, your language should reflect both your protective care and your partner's need for that guidance.

1. You're my girl/boy.
2. Come here to Mommy/Daddy.
3. Shhh. Let me take care of everything.
4. I am so proud of you.
5. I'm here to keep you safe.
6. You're such an angel.
7. You did so well — you know that, right?
8. You're my prince/princess.
9. Sit on my lap.
10. I love taking care of you.
11. Let me help with that, sweetheart.
12. Relax now, Mommy/Daddy's got you.
13. I'm going to take care of you now.
14. You're so cute/pretty.
15. Because I said so.
16. Be a good boy/girl and do X for me.
17. Watch your tone/language/mouth.
18. Mommy/Daddy says no playing today.

Many of these also work beautifully if you're more of a Pleasure Dom.

Your submissive might also appreciate our in-depth guide on how to be submissive.

15 Phrases For A Bratty Sub

If your submissive is a brat and you're the brat tamer, finding the right words can be tricky. This dynamic tends to revolve around the brat pushing back, forcing the dominant to reel them in.

A bratty submissive may act rebellious, but don't mistake that for topping from the bottom. The dom still holds the reins and issues the commands (how to become a better Dominant) — while making sure the sub still feels genuinely cared for and knows who's truly in control.

With that balance in mind, here's what to say:

1. You're such a brat.
2. Why are you being so naughty right now?
3. Are you really sure you want to test me?
4. You're going to regret saying/doing that.
5. Do you want another spanking?
6. Careful pushing my buttons like that.
7. What do you have to say for yourself?
8. I can absolutely fix that attitude.
9. I'll show you what real pain/boredom looks like.
10. You are not the one in charge here.
11. Don't make me spank/punish you.
12. Did I say you could get up/move/stop?
13. I decide when you come.
14. Say "thank you" after I spank you.
15. You really don't want to know what I can do to you.

15 Phrases For Your Sub Pet

The dominant language you use depends entirely on your dynamic. If your sub plays a pony, kitten, puppy, or another creature under the BDSM pet play umbrella, your phrasing shifts accordingly. Here's what that can sound like.

1. Heel
2. Mush
3. Wait/stay
4. Up
5. Down
6. Giddyup
7. No
8. Forward
9. Roll over
10. Play dead
11. Lap up your milk/water
12. Slow
13. Come here
14. Speak
15. On your back

Many of these mirror how you'd actually talk to a real pet. Some dominants even use treats, rewards, and praise to teach their human pet new tricks.

Not into pet play or trick training? Check out these submissive tasks instead.

What you say ultimately depends on exactly which pet your sub is playing — puppies and ponies are pretty different, after all. The right costumes, gear, and props make slipping into that headspace much easier.

13 Dominant Phrases For A Service Submissive

Service submission revolves entirely around meeting the dom's needs. A service sub could be a partner, assistant, sex slave, housekeeper, accountant, chef, massage therapist, landscaper — the list goes on. No single person can realistically cover every role, but a service submissive makes life considerably more organized and satisfying!

Since their role is serving you, most dominant phrases here take the form of clear commands and instructions:

1. Make me [item/food/drink].
2. Do [activity].
3. Bring me [item].
4. I expect dinner ready when I walk in the door.
5. Does that actually look clean to you?
6. Fetch me a drink/snack/meal.
7. If you want to come, finish [task] first.
8. Thank you.
9. Rub my [body part].
10. Service me sexually.
11. Make our guests feel comfortable.
12. Prepare the [item].
13. Get my [item] ready.

While a dominant can hand out precise instructions, a well-trained service sub eventually learns to do things exactly how their partner likes, even anticipating needs before they're voiced — meaning explicit direction becomes less necessary over time.

Similarly, dominants often come to trust their sub with routine tasks without much oversight at all, which means fewer things you actually need to say out loud.

12 Dominant Phrases For A Male Submissive

These phrases work beautifully for guys who love taking control with their man.

Related: 33 Wild Femdom Ideas.

1. Your cock belongs to me.
2. Did I say you could get hard? (Pairs perfectly with a ruined orgasm or chastity device)
3. You look so good in those panties. (For humiliation play)
4. That's it, exactly like that.
5. Don't you dare come until I say so.
6. Fuck me harder!
7. You'll regret finishing before I do.
8. Your asshole belongs to me. (Prove it by pegging your man)
9. You're such a gorgeous man.
10. Want me to step on that cock?
11. Get on all fours so I can have my way with your ass.
12. You just can't help getting hard, can you?

Psst, feeling nervous about topping? Check out our guide on how to be dominant in the bedroom during sex.

12 Dominant Phrases For A Female Submissive

You don't strictly need to gender your dominant phrases, but a few tend to land especially well with women.

1. You're such a good girl.
2. Who's my sweet girl?
3. You're so wet for me right now.
4. You're my dirty cocksucking whore. Say it back. (Learn how to deep throat without gagging).
5. Are you this wet just from thinking about me taking you whenever I want?
6. I'm going to finish in that tight/sweet/hot ass/pussy/mouth.
7. I'm not done with your pussy/clit yet.
8. Time to try that new breast harness technique I picked up.
9. Are you my greedy little slut?
10. Be a good girl, and I'll let you touch yourself later.
11. Show me exactly how you like your pussy touched.
12. I already picked out your panties for later.

12 Dominant Phrases For Texting Your Sub

Want to remind your sub who's in charge over text? Plenty of the dominant phrases above translate easily into messages, though a few work better spoken aloud in bed.

You can adapt most of your dominant dirty talk for texting — pauses and ellipses can even build extra drama. And some lines work only over text:

1. Show me what you're doing right now.
2. Stop what you're doing, go to the bathroom, and send me a picture.
3. You'd better be naked and ready to please me the second I'm home.
4. Stop everything and touch yourself. Imagine it's my hands. After two minutes, go back to your day.
5. I'm going to pull your legs apart the next time I see you.
6. Garter, stockings, a tight dress, lipstick. Be ready.
7. I've been thinking about how to reward you for being such a good sub lately. 23 tips for being a good sub.
8. Describe exactly what you're wearing right now.
9. Practice your begging until I see you next.
10. Write down how badly you want me and tuck the note into your panties. I'll find it later.
11. Send me photos of what you're considering wearing today/tonight. I'll make the final call.
12. Behave yourself while I'm gone.

Want more, including how to degrade your sub over text? Check out our guide to being dominant over text.

A Few Precautions

With plenty of dominant phrases in your back pocket now, you're probably eager to try them out. If bedroom bondage or an established D/s dynamic already fits your relationship and the BDSM lifestyle is familiar territory, you can likely use some of these without a heads-up conversation first.

But if D/s is new for you two, or you're planning to say something more intense than usual, it's worth a quick chat beforehand. You don't need to reveal exact wording — just give your submissive a sense of the shift, like letting them know you want to try some humiliating language.

The usual safety guidance applies here too, especially when combining bondage, spanking, impact play, or other kinky activities. A few safety essentials worth keeping in mind:

• BDSM contracts can lay out limits, health considerations, and safe words — useful for a single scene or an entire relationship.
• Safe words are a core BDSM safety measure that let either partner pause or stop play instantly.
• Aftercare helps you settle back into your normal state after a scene, even a fairly mild one.

Finally, having a mental catalog of dominant phrases doesn't mean you can direct them at any submissive. Submission is never owed to anyone by default. Some things are reserved strictly for a person's own dom, and that dynamic is something a submissive has to enter into freely.

That's an easy thing for new doms to forget — it's tempting to treat every interaction with a submissive as a chance to flex dominant energy. But trust, respect, and permission have to come first!

And remember: submissives deserve respect regardless of whether they're currently collared by someone else.

Combining this guidance with the phrases above can take your sex life or D/s dynamic to a whole new level, and build genuine confidence as a dominant. If something doesn't land right, tweak it or swap it for something that does — what you say to your sub should always reflect your unique relationship.

And if you're a sub reading this instead, you might be after a list of submissive phrases to say to your dom.

October 22, 2024