22 Foreplay Techniques, Ideas & Games For Wild, Intense Sex

These 22 foreplay ideas, techniques and games will leave your partner aching with desire for you…so don't be shocked if they start tearing your clothes off! Let's get into it…

1. Mental Foreplay AKA Building Sexual Tension

I like to think of the lead-up to physical foreplay as "Mental Foreplay," though most people simply call it building sexual tension. Sexual tension means teasing and tempting your man with hints of the treats and fun waiting for him later. There are several quick, easy ways to put this into practice.

Start With A Goodbye – Next time you say goodbye to your man, mention that a big surprise awaits him next time you meet, and deliver the line with a sly grin so he knows something naughty is coming.

You could drop this line in the morning as he heads to work, then deliver "the surprise" that evening. Or it could be days away. The point is keeping him guessing about what's coming.

Suggestive Dirty Text Messages – While apart from your man, fire off some dirty text messages hinting at what may unfold later. Keep them indirect, even vague, so he stays curious about what's in store. A few examples:

• Can't wait for later, so horny right now! x
• Just getting ready to blow your mind later!
• So glad my roommate isn't going to be around when you get over…I've got something naughty planned for you!
• I'm getting wet just thinking about what I have scheduled for this evening 😉 (tips on how to get wet quickly and easily)

For more on naughty texting, check out our sexting guide with 43 sexy text message examples.

Hopefully that gives you a sense of ways to build sexual tension before things turn physical with your man.

2. You

Guys are visual creatures.

Obvious, sure, but worth repeating…why else is pornography a multi-billion dollar industry?

Given that, what you wear has a huge effect on turning your man on and making him eager.

Related: How to turn a guy on – 20 tips.

Your Clothes – I'm not saying you need to raid Victoria's Secret for an entirely new lingerie wardrobe (how to choose the perfect lingerie), but having one or two go-to pieces in your closet for when you really want to turn him on goes a long way. Guys respond to what they see, so lean into that.

Your Hair – Beyond dressing sexy, don't neglect your hair and makeup either. Does he respond more to hair down, a ponytail, a bun, or something else? Experiment a bit to see what works best on him.

Your Make Up – Does a certain lipstick make your lips pop, or does a specific eye shadow make your eyes stand out?

Sounds obvious, doesn't it? Yet plenty of women overlook their appearance as a foreplay tool for turning on their man.

3. Public Foreplay

Public play isn't for everybody as a foreplay idea, but bear with me…

The goal of public foreplay isn't to actually have sex outside or in a public place, it's purely to turn your man on. Best part? It's perfect for stoking sexual tension!

And sexual tension is exactly what makes sex far more enjoyable for you both.

Here's a handful of things you can do with your man in public to build that tension:

• Rub and caress the inside of his leg.
• Pinch his bum.
• Kiss him, but hold back a little (leave him wanting more).
• Talk dirty to him (drop a few hints about what's planned for later).
• Put your arm around him.
• 'Accidentally' graze or touch his crotch now and then.
• Grab his hand and place it on your leg.

Remember, the whole point here isn't to actually start having sex in public. It's about building tension…but don't be surprised if you make him hard doing these kinky things.

4. Start at the Bar

This idea is perfect for couples whose relationship has grown a little stale and want to spice things up.

While standard foreplay involves touching and arousing each other right before sex, 'Start at the Bar' takes a different, playful approach. You and your man arrange to meet up at a bar. Once there, act like it's a first date. He orders drinks, flirts with you, and tries to convince you to go home with him.

Try these: 22 sexy and fun drinking games for couples.

He'll kiss you, touch you, and remind you exactly why you got together in the first place.

Sure, it can feel a bit goofy, but that's the point. The idea is to loosen up and relive that first-date spark.

'Start at the Bar' definitely isn't standard foreplay, but it's a great deal of fun in occasional doses.

5. Pinching, Grabbing, Groping & Touching

Sean, I'm a grown woman, I already know I need to touch my man to turn him on! Wasn't this supposed to be a foreplay guide?

It is! But the way you touch your man matters a lot during foreplay. Let me ask you something:

Do you initiate touching him without any particular reason, or do you wait for him to make the first move?

Do you rub, massage, caress, grab and hold your man, or do you just rest your hands on his back during sex?

These are worth thinking about. Most guys enjoy a partner who's dominant sometimes and submissive at other times.

Keep this front of mind whether you're the one starting foreplay or he is.

Initiate sex: 9 ways to initiate sex with your man.

There's a huge range of ways to touch your man that create different sensations. Here are a few ideas to spark your imagination:

• Softly wrap your hands around his neck and pull him in for a kiss.
• Slide your hands under his shirt and run your nails up and down his back.
• Grab his ass through his trousers and pinch it, or even give him a spank (erotic spanking guide)!
• Massage his back, neck, and shoulders.
• Teasingly trail your fingers along the inside of his leg, right up to his crotch.
• Run your fingers through his scalp or lightly tug his hair.
• Catch him off guard with a well-timed tickle to keep it playful.

Now think about how you enjoy being touched and caressed, and mirror that back to him. It's even hotter combined with dirty talk.

6. Secret Shower

Surprising your man in the shower can set up some seriously hot foreplay…and sex to follow!

A simple foreplay trick is flirting with him and teasing him before bed. Then, before you both climb in, tell him to shower first and that you'll dry him off after.

Related: 7 hot tease and denial games.

Once he's in the shower, slip in a minute later and start washing him. Resist giving him a hand job or breaking out your favorite blow job techniques while you're in there. Save it for after the shower! He'll be all but begging by then.

Pro Tip: Washing his private parts and gently massaging his balls with soapy water adds extra intensity thanks to the texture against his skin.

And if shower sex follows, try out some of these 12 shower sex positions.

7. Kissing

If you've already read our guide on how to kiss your man with passion, you've picked up plenty of great pointers.

But maybe you don't have time for an entire section devoted to kissing. Here are some quick tips for kissing him passionately.

Tongue & Lips – Remember, kissing your man isn't only about your lips. Use your tongue to massage his lips and tongue too. The texture of your tongue delivers a slightly different, rougher sensation than lips alone, so don't skip it.

Side note: This tip applies to him too when he's eating your pussy!

Occasionally, use your teeth to gently nibble his lips and tongue. Never actually bite — just a light squeeze between your teeth.

Outside His Mouth – There's more to kiss than his lips and mouth. Try slowly working across his face — from his lips, across his cheek, up his neck, and to his earlobes. You could even try giving him a hickey.

After lingering on his ears and earlobe, move back across his cheek to his mouth. Repeat on the other side of his face if you like.

8. Men & Massages

Men enjoy massages just as much as you do. So next time you two have some alone time and are gearing up for something more, switch it up and give him a massage first. It's easy to pull off:

Starting Off – Have him lie face down, then sit on his backside with a leg on either side of him. Using open palms, gently push up and down his back along either side of the spine. As with any massage, focus on muscle, never joints or bone.

Pro Tip: A little coconut oil or an oil-based lube will help your hands glide smoothly.

Change Things Up A Little – Palms alone get repetitive fast, so switch to a loose fist and drive it gently into his back muscles, moving up and down a touch slower than you did with your palms.

Keep your strokes gentle — the goal is a massage, not an injury!

Speaking of fists: How to fist your partner for the first time.

The Top Section – After those two techniques, work your way up to his shoulders and neck. Lightly pinch different spots between thumb and fingers.

That covers the basics of a simple massage for your man lying in bed. Rotate between techniques so neither of you gets bored.

9. Put on a Self Pleasure Show

Putting on a self-pleasure show for your man (14 self pleasure tips) is a powerful foreplay move because it's a massive turn-on for him AND it shows him precisely how you like to be touched!

As mentioned, guys are largely turned on by what they see.

Why not use that? Watching his partner get off is incredibly hot for most men. Next time you're in bed, ask if he'd like a little show. He won't say no!

A few ways to turn up the heat on your 'self-pleasure' show:

• Tell him he can only watch until you bring yourself to orgasm — that you love teasing him by letting him watch but not touch. That kind of teasing will have him diving in the second you give permission.
• Try using a vibrator or using a dildo to make the show even hotter for both of you.
• Invite him to join in. He can focus on your neck and breasts, or finger you while you stimulate your clitoris.
• Kick things off with a striptease before moving into the 'self-pleasure' portion.
• Narrate how much you're enjoying yourself — talking through the details out loud will make him extra horny.

Performing for your man can feel awkward at first if you're not already very comfortable together. If nerves creep in, dim the lights or loosen up with a drink beforehand.

10. Give Him Guidance

This next idea is closely related to the last one and is great for showing your man exactly what you want.

Basically, while fooling around, you'll demonstrate the things you enjoy most. I don't mean sketching diagrams on a whiteboard or giving him a lecture.

Instead, take his hand and guide it exactly where you want it. Tell him how much pressure to use and how fast to go, if you like.

This way you can show him how you finger yourself, how you like your clitoris touched, how you like your nipples played with, how to hold your hair — whatever you want him to learn.

This tip takes a bit of nerve, but the payoff is huge, especially if you praise him as he gets it right. Before long he'll know exactly how to touch, caress, and satisfy you.

11. The Kiss Trail

A wonderfully pleasurable technique is easing smoothly from kissing your man into giving him head.

Start by kissing his lips, then work your way down — his neck, then his chest and stomach, before reaching his groin. Throughout, keep kissing, licking, sucking, and gently biting him.

You can rush through this in seconds or stretch it out over several minutes, savoring the pace.

Once you reach his groin, nibble and kiss along the inside of his thighs before moving into fellatio.

Go deeper: For more advanced blow job techniques, check out the Blow Job Guide.

12. The Hidden Surprise

This foreplay game calls for a remote-controlled egg vibrator — you wear it, he controls it.

To play 'Hidden Surprise,' head out to a restaurant or mall together, or stay in if you'd rather. His mission is to give you as many orgasms as possible while making it obvious to onlookers, while yours is to stay as composed as possible and hide the fact that you're wearing a vibrator.

This works great if you both enjoy public play, and don't stress over winning or losing — you're both winning just by playing!

13. Dominance & Submission

When I mention being dominant or being submissive with your partner, I mean how you carry yourself in bed with your man.

It's easy to slip into routines. That's fine for a job or a savings plan.

But falling into a routine in the bedroom can lead to less sex after getting married.

Swapping between dominant and submissive roles is a great antidote.

And remember, dominance and submission don't require whips and chains. It's far subtler than that. Here are some ways to lean more dominant or more submissive:

• If your man usually initiates, try taking the lead yourself sometimes — not every time, just occasionally.
• If you're normally the dominant one, try dropping to your knees submissively and sucking his dick next time you're getting into it.
• Talk dirty and order him around. Order him into bed. Order him to go down on you and perform oral sex on your vulva. Order him to give you a back massage. 162 dominant things to say to your submissive.
• Next time you're building up to sex, push him onto the bed and straddle him, seizing control. Check out the Straddle sex position.

14. Playfighting your Way to Pleasure

Ever play-wrestled with your man? Pretty hot, right?

That's the basis of this next technique. Play fight, wrestle, and struggle to pin him down until he submits.

There's no real winner or loser here — the goal is simply to get physical, which naturally becomes a very arousing form of foreplay.

So next time you're both near a sofa or bed, playfully shove him down and straddle him. Look him in the eye, flash a sly smile, and push him down. Once you're straddling him in the Woman On Top position, cup his cheeks or neck and start kissing. He'll melt.

Here are a few more ways to wrestle with your man.

• Pin his arms above his head. A bondage tip to intensify this: tie his hands to the bed.
• Grab his ankle and tickle his foot — great if he has a foot fetish.
• Twist his arm behind his back.
• Sneak up from behind, grab him, and try wrestling him down.
• Let him flip the script, pin you, and take control.

These examples should give you a solid feel for wrestling with your man. Just remember, the goal is to get physical and have fun.

15. Hot & Cold

Hot & Cold is a simple, fun game that teaches you both which parts of your body are most sensitive. To play, pick a spot on your body that he needs to locate (say, your clitoris) — but don't tell him which spot you've chosen!

He then hunts for it by slowly kissing across your body while you guide him with "Hot" or "Cold" depending on proximity to your chosen erogenous zone. Say it sparingly so he really has to work for it — don't overdo the hints.

Once he finds the spot, he spends a full minute kissing, licking, and nibbling it before you swap roles. Only choose genuinely sensitive spots — feet, lips, neck, ears, wherever gets you going.

More: 12 sex games for couples.

16. Sex Dice

Sex dice are a foreplay classic. They come as a pair — one die with actions, one with body parts. Roll them together and you might land on:

• Suck (the action) Boobs (the body part)
• Caress Lips
• Fondle Genitals
• Rub Neck

Ideally, grab a purpose-made pair and take turns rolling for each other, following whatever instructions come up.

No dice set? Use two regular dice and build your own version. List six actions — here's a sample set:

1. Kiss
2. Lick
3. Touch
4. Rub
5. Caress
6. Fondle

Then list six favorite body parts. Sample set:

1. Bum
2. Genitals
3. Lips
4. Back
5. Neck
6. Cheek

Roll both, and you'll get an instruction like: lick his lips, finger his bum, kiss her back, rub his genitals, and so on. Take turns rolling and follow through.

This one's a little silly, so have a few drinks and don't take it too seriously.

17. The Foreplay List

The Foreplay List requires a bit of prep work, so if spontaneity or quickies are more your style, skip this one. Here's how it works:

1. You and your man each make a list with the same number of items — each one a form of foreplay you'd like to try. It could be a fetish or kink, something romantic, a new technique, or anything you haven't yet discussed.
2. Then you each help the other work through their list.
3. Whoever finishes their list first "wins" and gets treated by the other — a date night, a favorite home-cooked meal, or a trip to the movies.

A few sample items for your list:

• Kiss me all over my body non-stop for a full hour.
• Go down on me for a full 20 minutes.
• Cook me dinner wearing just an apron and nothing else.
• Give me a foot job.

In many ways, the Foreplay List works a lot like building a sex bucket list.

18. The Countdown

This game needs a countdown timer on your phone or watch.

Set a timer during which neither of you can touch each other's genitals — which also rules out sex.

The Countdown teaches you to please each other in more indirect ways. A few examples:

• Kissing each other passionately
• Massaging each other
• Light bondage
• A touch of sadism/masochism
• Dressing seductively
• Groping your man

Fun for a few minutes, but set it for three hours or longer and you'll build serious sexual tension and anticipation before the main event…assuming you can hold out that long.

19. Have you Tried Porn?

Want a foreplay idea guaranteed to turn your man on? Try watching porn together. It's not for everyone, but…

It's a great way to show him you're serious about satisfying him sexually. Once he notices that, he's far more likely to reciprocate.

It's also a low-effort way to explore new ideas together, even though most porn is wildly unrealistic.

Watching together is simple: lie in bed with him and ask if he wants to watch something on your laptop or phone. Unless he's completely worn out, he'll say yes.

If porn just isn't your thing, feel free to skip this one entirely.

20. Driving Stick & Licking his Lollipop

Two techniques guaranteed to have your man groaning with pleasure: hand jobs and blow jobs.

Giving your man a hand job is a tried-and-true move that'll put a grin on his face — done right, it can feel nearly as good as sex.

Transitioning from a hand job to a blow job is seamless. In fact, you can keep working the base of his cock with your hand while your mouth covers the tip, sucking him off simultaneously.

21. V-V-V-Variation

Use any of the techniques above and you'll have one very satisfied man on your hands…barely able to contain himself!

But repeat the same move over and over without switching things up, and he may start to lose interest.

It's just human nature. We crave variety. That's where the phrase "variety is the spice of life" comes from.

You, your man, and literally everyone else gets bored fast doing the same thing repeatedly. I can't stress this enough — variation matters.

So rotate through your techniques so he never quite knows what's coming next, whether it's a blow job, phone sex, or bondage sex.

More variety: Over 300 sex positions demonstrated with pictures.

22. You Talk Right?

I'm constantly surprised by the emails I receive asking me to translate what a man wants in the bedroom. I'd love a tidy, universal answer, but honestly, every man — and every woman — is different.

Some want a little cuddling before sex; others prefer you rough and aggressive as the initiator. Some guys are sitting on a kink they've never told a soul about that turns them on intensely.

Your man might want to dominate you, or he might crave being submissive to you instead.

The only real way to learn what kind of foreplay (and sex) your man enjoys is to talk to him directly.

And it matters just as much that he learns what gets you aroused and in the mood. So if any of these tips and techniques fall flat, talk it through with your man to find out what actually works for him — and tell him what works for you too.

July 17, 2025