19 Different Types Of Doms – Traits, Tips & Real Examples

Below, you'll find a rundown of the 19 most recognized dominant styles, along with plenty of kinky, real-world examples of how each one takes charge of their submissive.

Whether BDSM appeals to you purely for the kinky sex or for the entire lifestyle and community around it, you'll run into a handful of terms constantly. "Dominant" and "submissive" top that list.

What is a dominant? – A dominant is the title (and personality) of the partner who takes the more active role, delivering stimulation and, often, pain to their partner. Handing out orders and administering punishments also fall under a dom's job description.

Deep dive: How to be dominant in the bedroom.

You've probably pictured a leather-clad figure cracking a whip — and sure, that's one shade of dominance. But it's only a single entry on the much longer list of dom types we're covering here.

Within the BDSM community, certain labels have emerged to help sort these dominant styles from one another. You'll also spot newer terms like "gentle dom" or "gentleman dom," which haven't really caught on offline but are picking up steam on social media.

Submission guide: How to be submissive during sex

What Are the Different Types of Doms?

Here's the full rundown of dom types. Keep in mind that most dominants don't fit neatly into just one category — many blend two, three, or more of these styles.

1. Daddy/Mommy Dominants

Daddy and Mommy doms are a fairly common archetype. They tend to come across as caring and protective, making them a solid fit for submissives who are sensitive, vulnerable, or simply crave that kind of attention. These nurturing types are often drawn to a sub's playful, cute, or innocent energy, and they take their sub's overall wellbeing seriously.

5 Examples & Ideas For Dominating As Daddy/Mommy Dom

1. Scolding – when a sub messes up
2. Spanking – when they step out of line
3. Reassuring – cuddling your sub and calling them a good girl or boy. 19 great cuddling positions.
4. Protecting – their submissive's feelings
5. Praising – their partner for listening and obeying (great if you've got a praise kink)

2. Masters/Mistresses

"Master" or "Mistress" can technically be used as a nickname in any D/s pairing, but couples who identify as "Master" and "slave" typically practice 24/7 power exchange, also called total power exchange (TPE). In these pairings, it's typical for the dominant to go by master or mistress rather than simply "dominant."

Within TPE, the exchange of power doesn't switch off — it seeps into nearly every corner of the couple's shared life, with the master or mistress steering most (or all) major decisions, sometimes stripping the slave of the ability to push back or refuse.

3 Examples of a Master or Mistress

1. Providing permission – for the sub to masturbate, eat, use the bathroom, touch themselves, or speak, for example
2. Administering discipline – when orders are not followed accurately
3. Taking responsibility – for the slave's physical, mental, emotional, and financial wellbeing

3. Brat Tamer

As the name suggests, a brat tamer is the natural counterpart to a brat — a submissive known for being stubborn and a bit rebellious. To earn a brat's submission, a tamer needs matching strength and a genuine understanding of what drives that behavior.

When a brat tamer responds with discipline or firmness, that focused attention often leaves the brat feeling wanted, looked after, and secure.

Not every dom has the patience and even temper this role demands. Some would rather have a sub who doesn't talk back at all. But plenty of brat tamers genuinely enjoy the push and pull that comes with taming a brat.

5 Aspects of Brat Taming

1. Physically restraining and overpowering – if the brat resists; bondage can help
2. Giving orders – which may be ignored or resisted
3. Providing punishment – when necessary but without losing their temper. These 16 BDSM punishment ideas should help.
4. Showing strength – in response to bratty behavior; backing down or appearing weak is not what the brat wants
5. Remaining patient and respectful – showing the brat that they are not too much to handle and are cared for

4. Rope Top/Rigger

A rope top, or rigger, is a dominant whose main (or only) kink interest is rope bondage. Their repertoire might stretch from suspension work to chest harnesses to hogties, and everything between.

You'll often spot riggers at play parties, dungeons, or conventions, sometimes tying partners who stay fully clothed throughout. Dedicated rope tops frequently photograph their finished ties, some of which are original designs they've developed themselves.

5 Responsibilities of a Rop Top

1. Preparing – rope and accessories such as carabiners
2. Focusing on their sub – discussing any injuries or issues before starting, focusing on bodily reactions while tying, etc
3. Carefully tying – so that rope sits without twisting or chafing; without pulling rope across the skin or letting loose rope hit the sub
4. Ensuring the submissive's safety – checking that rope isn't frayed, suspension can hold their weight, avoiding pressure on the organs/pressure points, listening to safe words, and quickly untying or letting down subs in times of emergency
5. Practicing – tying knots can include watching videos, reading books or sites, and attending workshops

5. Findom

This dom type pairs with a finsub (sometimes nicknamed a paypig). "Fin" is short for financial, and financial power exchange is a different animal from traditional sex work, where physical stimulation is exchanged for payment.

A findom instead exerts control over their submissive's money in some form. For finsubs, part of the thrill is simply knowing that someone else holds the reins on their finances.

Because it's the finsub's money — not their body — being controlled, this dynamic tends to translate well to long-distance relationships.

4 Aspects of Financial Domination

1. Restricting access to money and accounts – including credit cards, bank accounts, etc.
2. Giving access to money – ie an allowance
3. Receiving money from a finsub – for services
4. Humiliation play – such as verbal humiliation (a big component for some but not all findom relationships)

6. Service Top

If getting your partner off through sensation and stimulation is your idea of a good time, you might lean toward being a service top (how to be a good dom). For service tops, dominance may not really define their personality at all — they simply enjoy taking the active role because serving their partner's needs feels good to them.

The role tends to wrap up when the scene does, and their ideal partner might be a bottom rather than a full-fledged submissive.

You could think of service topping as the flip side of topping from the bottom.

Read More: What is Topping from the Bottom?

Quite a few professional dominants, prodommes included, would count as a type of service top.

6 Examples of Service Topping

1. Binding the sub – with rope, cuffs, blindfolds, or other bondage implements. How to be a good submissive.
2. Performing impact play – such as spanking, caning, paddling, flogging, etc
3. Providing stimulation – temperature play, blades, hitting, electricity, etc
4. Assisting other dominants or tops – with punishment, etc
5. Negotiating with bottoms – before scenes
6. Heeding safe words – during scenes

7. Owner

Some subs role-play as pets — dogs, cats, and horses among the popular choices — and their dominant partner usually takes on the role of owner. Together, these pairs mimic the bond between an animal and its keeper, with the specific behaviors shifting based on the animal in question. Pony play, for instance, usually involves noticeably more training and physical effort than other pet-play styles.

Pet play opens the door to plenty of fun gear and toys — collars, muzzles, leashes, pony tack, and more.

Learn more about pet play.

4 Examples of Owner Dom Behavior

1. Training – their pony, pup, kitten or other pet
2. Securing accessories and gear – collars, tack, muzzles
3. Grooming their pet – brushing and bathing
4. Providing other care – such as water, food, and attention

8. Domme

"Domme" is simply the feminine spelling of "dom" — it refers to a female dominant and is pronounced identically. That's the extent of the real difference between dominant and domme. Technically, "Mommy dom" is even a slight misnomer, since it should be "Mommy domme."

Prodomme – You'll occasionally see "domme" tacked onto other words, as with prodomme, meaning she does this professionally. Not everyone agrees this counts as a femdom style, though, since it's a job rather than a lifestyle choice.

Dominatrix – Some use "dominatrix" specifically for professional dommes, while others apply it more broadly to any female domme — which can muddy things.

Femdom – "Femdom" describes either the woman herself or the activities/relationship dynamic, and it's a widely used label in porn centered on women taking charge. Some people reserve the term specifically for power-exchange relationships between a domme and a male submissive.

Gender itself doesn't dictate how someone dominates — a woman can fall into any category on this list. Outside of prodommes and Mommies, there generally aren't as many distinct domme subtypes as there are dom subtypes.

4 Examples of Female Domination

1. Providing stimulation and sensation to a partner – pleasure, pain, sensual domination, bondage, etc
2. Giving orders and punishment – can include humiliation or sissification or assigning submissive tasks
3. Caring for a partner's wellbeing – physical, mental, emotional
4. Pegging – anal penetration with a strap-on, which can stimulate the prostate

Check out these femdom ideas to get inspired.

9. Primal Dom

A primal dom thrives on wild, animalistic kink and BDSM, often falling under edgeplay (higher-risk kink territory). It looks nothing like the gentler energy of a soft dominant.

Primal energy can be sparked by scratching and clawing during sex, biting, or other actions from their partner — sometimes referred to as the "prey." Some primal doms lean on raw physical strength rather than bondage gear or tools.

Occasionally, two primal doms (or alphas) will play together, with power shifting back and forth between them — a dynamic that's rarer among other dominant types.

4 Common Actions of the Primal Dominant

1. Chasing – and pinning the sub
2. Having rough sex – biting during sex, scratching, hair pulling, etc
3. Making animalistic noises – including growling
4. Using the senses – especially smell

10. White Knight Dominant

The White Knight sees themselves as their submissive's protector — righting wrongs and fending off threats. Many view themselves, and are viewed by others, as deeply altruistic, with chivalry sitting at the center of their identity.

White Knights can get frustrated when they run into problems they're powerless to fix, and they sometimes gravitate toward vulnerable or "broken" partners out of a drive to rescue someone.

This dom type skews male more often than not.

3 Examples of a White Knight Dom

1. Solving problems – especially for their submissive
2. Protecting – their partner and family
3. Doting on a submissive – who is the princess (or prince) while the dom is the king (or queen)

11. Sadist

A sadist gets genuine pleasure from inflicting pain, dreaming up creative new ways to make their partner hurt. That pain can be physical, or it can be psychological, through humiliation or degradation.

Naturally, we're still operating within BDSM, where consent is non-negotiable — this isn't about causing real, unwanted harm. In BDSM and kink circles, the rule is hurt without harming. A partner who lashes out in anger or disregards their sub's wellbeing isn't practicing safe dominance.

Related: What is sadomasochism – full guide.

2 Ideas for a Sadist Dom

1. Causing pain – physical and psychological (humiliation)
2. Providing aftercare – to deal with sub drop and physical injuries caused during play

Find out what sub drop is.

12. Leather Dom

This dominant belongs to the wider leather subculture, which traces back to military communities and is largely made up of gay men. Because of that lineage, some leather doms (and subs) don't necessarily identify with the broader BDSM community or see themselves as being in D/s relationships.

3 Examples of Leather Doms

A leather dom's kinky repertoire can include anything covered elsewhere in this guide, but community involvement is usually a defining feature, so that's our focus here.

1. Portraying masculinity – through leather outfits (tops are known to wear Muir caps), personal style, and engaging in motorcycle clubs
2. Participating in leather events – parades and competitions like Folsom Street Fair
3. Practicing traditions – usually based on military protocol

13. Pleasure Dom

This is a newer term that seems to have taken off on TikTok rather than in offline conversation. A pleasure dominant finds their sexual satisfaction in fulfilling their partner's needs — the more pleasure they can deliver, the better. Sex toys and blindfolds show up frequently in their play.

Pleasure doms tend to skew male, with female subs, in most descriptions of the term.

Some argue this shouldn't even count as a true dominant style since power exchange may not be present at all — it might be better understood as a flavor of service topping.

3 Ideas for a Pleasure Dom

The following examples mostly fall under the greater umbrella of orgasm control.

1. Edging their partner – bringing the sub close to orgasm before backing off repeatedly with edging
2. Denying orgasm – through physical actions or spoken commands, potentially ruins orgasms
3. Torturing with orgasm – stimulates their partner to have as many orgasms as possible, even after it's uncomfortable

14. Top

A top plays the active role in a scene, standing opposite the bottom. They're not necessarily dominant by nature and may only take charge during a specific scene — perhaps purely to please their partner — without carrying a dominant personality or engaging in genuine power exchange. In some ways, it's the mirror image of a TPE dom.

You won't hear people describe someone as a "dom top" for exactly this reason. Think of them instead as a "bedroom dominant" only, much like the concept of a bedroom sub.

4 Examples of Topping

1. Spanking the sub – or engages in other impact play
2. Binding their partner – with rope, gags, blindfolds, or other tools
3. Respecting safe words – pausing or stopping play when used
4. Knowing their tools – to use them safely and correctly

15. Feeder

This is definitely one of the rarer dom types. Feederism is a highly specific fetish centered on the arousal of eating (or feeding a partner) well past the point of comfort. The "feedee" or "gainer" does the eating, while the feeder handles supplying the food.

2 Traits of a Feeder

1. Feeding their partner – including preparing food and encouraging eating past comfort
2. Fetishizing the (fat) body – as it becomes bigger; can include body worship (especially involving the stomach)

16. Mentor

A dominant mentor isn't really a separate dom style so much as a dominant who's been around the lifestyle (and possibly the community) long enough to guide newcomers. Submissives can take on this mentoring role, too.

Sometimes a dominant mentors other dominants, passing on the skills they'll need to eventually guide their own submissives. Some submissives seek out sub mentors for similar reasons. It's also possible for a dominant to mentor a sub directly, sharing knowledge about BDSM that the sub wouldn't otherwise have access to.

A dominant mentor and their submissive mentee don't trade power the way a genuine D/s pairing would. Someone who leans on "mentoring" as a way to target new submissives is closer to a fake dom (covered below) than an actual mentor.

6 Ideas for a Dominant Mentor

1. Listening to the mentee – vents, concerns, questions
2. Giving advice – whether in response to specific questions or more generally
3. Displaying patience – with someone new to BDSM/kinky sex
4. Teaching – how to use tools, communicate, read body language, etc
5. Providing structure – through tasks or assignments if it helps the mentee learn
6. Helping – the mentee find their own flavor of dominance or kink instead of pushing their dominant type on the other person

17. Gentle/Soft Dom

A soft or gentle dominant may steer clear of brats and other sub types with a rebellious streak. Some avoid pain-based play entirely, while others still work in lighter activities like the occasional spanking.

4. Examples of Soft Domming

1. Nurturing partner – instead of expecting obedience to strict rules for their submissive or punishment
2. Encouraging growth and self-love – in their partner
3. Discussing sternly – instead of punishment
4. Emphasizing aftercare – after a scene

Note that some people might call themselves "soft doms" to indicate they're not super dominant.

Related: 11 Ideas for Gentle Femdom

18. Breeder

The breeder fetish community hasn't quite settled on one shared definition of the term, which can make things a little confusing. For some, the turn-on is purely the idea of getting pregnant or getting someone else pregnant. This often stays within role play territory, using dirty talk and pretend birth control lapses, though a few people carry it through to an actual pregnancy.

The term generally gets used two ways: as a catch-all for anyone into the fetish, or specifically for the person (usually a man) doing the impregnating. In that second scenario, there's often a clear element of domination.

1. Discussing the fetish – saying how much they want to get someone pregnant
2. Penetrating and ejaculating – without a condom/protection (which can lead to STIs as well as pregnancy)
3. Fetishizing – their partner's pregnant or fertile body (perhaps enjoying sex during pregnancy), potentially viewing it as their property

19. Fake Dom

We'll close with a dom type that plenty of people wouldn't call a real dominant at all. A fake dom is focused entirely on getting their own needs met, with little regard for their partner or the responsibilities that come with dominance. Nobody's calling this type caring.

They tend to prioritize sex over the broader picture of intimate power exchange, skip safety basics like aftercare, expect instant submission from any sub they meet, and rush past the time it actually takes to get to know a potential partner — kinky or not.

Don't overlook these 8 BDSM rules that keep things safe!

A genuine dom respects your safety and boundaries and understands when you need to slow things down or vet each other before diving into play or a relationship.

Now that you've got a better handle on the different dominant types, which one sounds like you — or like your ideal partner? You might identify with more than one domme or dom category, or maybe none of them quite fit, and that's completely fine! BDSM is ultimately about crafting the experience you want. Keep in mind that terminology keeps shifting, and new labels appear all the time.

March 24, 2023