How To Make A Man Shake, Moan & Crave You In Bed – 21 Tips

Isn’t it satisfying to reduce your man to a shaking, moaning mess in bed — and knowing he’s already counting down until next time? A woman who knows how to get a guy sexually hooked on her holds real power in a relationship. Mastering it takes a bit of practice, which is exactly why we put together this guide. Follow the advice below and you might just crank your own pleasure up a few notches in the process!

Whether he’s your boyfriend, husband, or an FWB (learn more about FWBs), the trick to getting a guy hooked on you comes down to two things: doing things so well he stops thinking about anyone else, and becoming a safe space where he can explore things he’s never tried with another partner.

There’s a whole toolkit for making him sexually obsessed with you. Most of it boils down to injecting novelty and adventure into your sex life, trying new things while deepening trust, ramping up pleasure, and playing a careful push-pull game that keeps his mind circling back to you.

It works a lot like other forms of addiction, where the brain’s reward circuitry lights up [1] and produces that good feeling [2]. Falling in love, in fact, lights up some of the same brain regions as cocaine use [3]. No surprise both feel so intense!

Related: Learn how to recognize the signs he is making love to you vs having sex.

The good news: figuring out how to get a man sexually hooked on you can be a lot of fun, minus the downsides that come with actual addiction.

Enough preamble. Here are 21 reliable ways to teach you how to make a man shake and moan in bed...

1. Train His Brain to Crave You

Here’s something interesting: you can wire a guy’s brain to link certain things with sex, even without him realizing it. It works through conditioning [4, 5]. Wear a particular scent or lipstick shade every time you sleep together, and eventually his brain files “sex” under that smell or sight. It’s a subtle but genuinely powerful tool in your arsenal.

Test it yourself. Pick something you do, wear, or say right before sex, and repeat it for a few weeks. Over time, that same cue alone might start turning his thoughts sexual — maybe even getting him hard on the spot! This trick pairs nicely with wanting to make him horny.

Just don’t accidentally fire off that trigger in front of other people, and definitely don’t borrow a perfume his sister already wears!

2. Catch Him Off Guard With Sex

Brace yourself for a shocking revelation: men enjoy sex.

A whole lot.

Remember the idea of doing something kind out of nowhere? Applying that to sex is one of the most effective moves you can make. Plenty of guys are happy to ask for it, but being the one to start things is what really lands.

Men love feeling desired too — yet they’re usually stuck making the first move.

Cultural gender norms probably play a role here. So does the fact that roughly 30% of women experience responsive desire while most men lean toward spontaneous desire [6 p 225]. That may mean warming yourself up first before you can surprise him.

Find out how to get horny.

Answer the door with nothing on, slide your hands over his lap mid-video-game, or pull him into a deep kiss. Let him know how badly you want him, messy hair and morning breath included! Sometimes all it takes to spark his desire is reminding him just how attractive you find him.

And don’t limit the surprise to the bedroom — initiating in the car, somewhere semi-public, or with the curtains open when he least expects it can ramp up the heat considerably.

3. Take Charge On Top

Confidently climbing on top and riding him well instantly sets you apart from anyone too self-conscious, timid, or inexperienced to try it. Using him for your own pleasure while you do it can make him want you even more.

Want a boost in confidence here? Check out these 4 tips to ride your man with confidence and this guide to feeling super confident when you’re on top.

4. Whisper Dirty Talk

One of the strongest weapons for making him addicted is simple: dirty talk.

It can feel awkward at first if you’ve never done it. Luckily, we’ve got resources to help you master this skill and get him hooked.

Try it out loud in bed using these examples, or take it over the phone — a great option for staying connected when distance separates you. These phone sex tips will help.

5. Practice Kegels

Kegel exercises strengthen the muscles supporting your uterus, vagina, and nearby organs. Squeezing them around your partner during sex tightens things up noticeably — sometimes enough to push him over the edge fast, which is exactly what you want if you’re after that shaking-in-bed reaction.

Read More: How To Tighten Your Vagina: The Exercises To Do

6. Experiment in the Bedroom

Curious how to get a man hooked on you physically? Simple: push past the routine. Guys enjoy variety just as much as women often do, even if society nudges you both to hold back. Our advice:

Ignore society.

Try New Positions – Your guy is into you, likely loves you, and there’s no reason to feel shy about proposing something different. A simple starting point is switching up positions. You’ll find over a hundred sex positions here (complete with photos).

There are positions for oral sex and others ideal for anal play. A few positions also happen to give him a great view of you.

Toys & Games – Bring in toys, costumes, lingerie, or something kinky. Not sure where to begin? Sex games like these or a set of sex dice can spark fresh ideas.

Prostate Play – For a lot of men, prostate stimulation is something they secretly crave, yet cultural stigma often makes them feel weird about wanting backdoor play, as if it says something about them. It doesn’t — nothing you and your partner do together carries that kind of label.

Take a look at our guide to prostate massage if it seems like something he’d enjoy. We’ve also got a pegging guide covering the practice where a woman wears a strap-on to penetrate her partner. It hits the prostate directly and is a great option if your goal is making him lose himself in pleasure while you stay firmly in control.

While you’re exploring, ask him what he’d like to try, too — this should go both directions. You can even browse Love Curi together to find new ideas that get him excited.

There’s also a wide world of roles you can play in the bedroom that can deepen his attachment to you. Costumes can make it even more fun.

7. Give Him Room to Open Up

Creating space where he feels safe discussing his kinks and fetishes can make him wild for you, especially if past partners judged him or shut those conversations down.

Build that safe space by asking directly what he might want to try, or by sharing your own fantasies or sexual bucket list first. Your vulnerability often invites his.

Curious about the most common fantasies people have?

Whatever he shares, resist judging it, even if it’s not something you’d normally choose. Staying open to trying new things could take your sex life somewhere unexpectedly great — and deepen his attachment to you.

8. Play With Power

Picture this: he’s completely sexually fixated on you, and neither of you is pretending otherwise.

He can’t stop wanting you.

You hold all the cards.

So why not lean into actual power dynamics and take control in the bedroom? Dish out rewards and consequences, and decide when he gets to finish.

Related: 33 Wild Femdom Ideas To Dominate Your Man Completely

Restrain him, blindfold him, spank him, bring in a variety of toys.

This kind of scene pairs beautifully with dirty talk. Get him talking about how obsessed he is with you, and have him list what he loves about your body or your skills in bed, or what he’d do just to keep being with you. It’ll elevate things for both of you.

Or flip it — submit to him instead. Catering to his desires and letting him feel powerful can keep him just as hooked.

The move here is to experiment with both dominating your man and being submissive for him to see what clicks for you two.

Related: If domination and submission intrigue you, check out these freaky things to do to your man.

9. Master Edging

If “controlling his orgasms” sounded a little vague earlier, here’s the breakdown: orgasm control means dictating exactly when and how he gets to cum. It’s a serious tool if your goal is leaving him shaking with pleasure. There are toys designed to delay or block erection and orgasm, or you can simply interrupt his climax yourself.

You could also experiment with making him orgasm on command — the earlier conditioning tip helps a lot here.

One especially useful technique to keep in your back pocket is edging: bringing him right to the brink of orgasm and pulling back, repeating this several times before finally letting him finish. The payoff is a far more intense climax after all that buildup and anticipation.

More on edging your man here.

Learn how to control his orgasms.

10. Spark a Little Jealousy

A small dose of jealousy can actually work in your favor (a large dose is a warning sign, though). No one’s suggesting you vanish for the evening or flirt with his best friend, but the occasional reminder that he wants you exclusively for himself can strengthen things.

A bit of playful flirting with a stranger, holding a waiter’s gaze a beat too long, turning heads in a great outfit — these small moments remind him you’re desirable and that he’s fortunate to have you. If you’re not exclusive yet, mentioning that others are interested in you (or that you’re seeing other people) can have a similar effect.

Just don’t push it far enough to create actual problems.

11. ...And Stay a Little Out of Reach

Being too available can flip the switch from addicted to bored for some guys.

Try not answering every message the instant it arrives, or turning down the odd invitation for sex or a date. Leave before he expects you to, or kiss him deeply and walk away before it can go any further.

Once he senses you’re in demand, he’ll put in more effort to hold your attention, and you’ll stay on his mind even when you’re apart.

Related: 8 Ways Playing Hard to Get Will Make Him Addicted to You

Letting him come to you also keeps you from seeming overly clingy (neediness is a well-known turn off for most guys), which matters even more if he’s only after something casual. Discover how casual sex can be awesome... and not so awesome.

Aim for a balance: give him enough that he stays craving you, but not so little that he goes looking for someone easier to reach.

11. Ramp Up Sexual Tension

Want a guaranteed way to leave him trembling with pleasure? Build sexual tension sky-high and hold it there.

Sexual tension needs just enough suggestion to keep him hooked without giving everything away. Flirting and teasing form the foundation, but there’s more to the craft than that.

Learn how sexual tension can become the most important part of your toolbox.

12. Chase Your Own Pleasure

This might seem like an odd item on a list about making him want you, but stick with us. No guy is thrilled by a partner who lies there passively like a starfish or leaves him doing all the work. That approach puts a lot of pressure on him — which is exactly why taking initiative or riding him yourself lands so well.

Making a point to pursue your own pleasure, whether through touching yourself or reaching for a toy, can turn him on tremendously and leave him wanting more of you. Next time you’re together, try asking if he wants to watch you finish, then grab your favorite vibrator.

Bonus points if you lose yourself completely and let out loud, genuine moans during an intense orgasm. He may forget everything else exists while watching you.

13. Put in Effort With Your Look

Once you’ve settled into a relationship, letting your guard down a little is natural — using the bathroom while he showers, living in the same sweatpants from Friday to Monday.

That’s all fine and normal, but if the goal is keeping him hooked, make a point of pulling yourself together more often. Doing your hair, makeup, or picking a cute top shouldn’t only happen when you leave the house. Knowing you make that extra effort just for him will make him appreciate — and want — you even more. It can boost your own confidence, too.

And go all out for date night, and you might catch him staring, speechless.

The goal is finding something that makes you feel confident (14 tips on how to feel sexy) and flatters your shape. Discomfort tends to show.

Learn how to dress sexy for your man.

14. Never Stop Flirting

Flirting — something we tend to abandon as we get older, though we really shouldn’t. It makes people feel special, attractive, and wanted, while stoking desire and strengthening connection. So why quit doing it?

Sneak in shy glances, playful teasing, and lingering touches to keep him hooked. Need more inspiration? Try these flirty texting games together, or read this deep dive on how to flirt effectively.

15. Boost His Confidence

Love the way his body feels against yours?

Think he’s a phenomenal kisser, or amazing with his mouth?

If he consistently leaves you shaking and moaning, or impresses you as a lover some other way, tell him! It’ll boost his confidence and leave him craving more of you. Just keep your compliments honest — don’t exaggerate his size if it’s average or smaller, for instance.

Not sure how to phrase it? Try a breathless comment about how amazing he feels inside you (moaning tips and techniques).

And keep an eye out for signs that a man is enjoying sex with you in case compliments aren’t his thing.

16. Keep a Standing Date Night

Everyone knows date nights help preserve marriage and sex life once kids enter the picture, but they matter just as much early on, whether you’ve been together months or years.

Setting aside dedicated time keeps you investing in the relationship — being playful, having fun, prioritizing romance, and continuing to learn about each other.

Skip date nights, and the to-do list will always win, or your sex life will settle into a predictable rut, which won’t help you keep him hooked. Don’t let it slide.

17. Lean Into Body Language

Whether it’s date one or date one thousand, sexy body language never stops working.

But most people lose the habit as comfort sets in over weeks, months, or years — guys included; they forget to bring that energy, too. Lean in close, brush his arm, shoulder, or cheek, tilt your head down and glance up through your lashes.

Everyone likes to feel singled out, and sexy body language is one easy way to give him that feeling.

Draw his eye to your cleavage or your curves. Bite your lip, nibble on a straw, or suck on candy. It sounds like a cliché because it is one — and it still works. Try tracing a finger down your collarbone, or dragging an ice cube along your skin.

18. Set — And Hold — Your Boundaries

Guys might enjoy a partner who revolves entirely around them for a short while, but being a pushover gets old fast. That’s not what keeps him hooked, and it won’t get you what you actually want in bed either.

Instead, define your limits and stick to them. It signals confidence and competence, both of which are attractive, and reminds him that your time and attention aren’t unlimited.

19. Take Care of Your Body

If you’re wondering how to get a man addicted to you, your physical health is a solid place to start. Eating well and staying active does more than shape your figure — it also improves your skin, sleep, and energy levels.

Regular exercise can also boost your stamina when riding him!

All of this shapes how your partner perceives you. Remember, looks aren’t everything — confidence matters just as much. The more comfortable you feel in your own skin, the bolder, more creative, and more adventurous you’ll be, and the more he’ll want to be near you.

20. Laugh Together, Often

Everyone enjoys a good laugh, but did you know laughter triggers oxytocin release? That same hormone bonds mothers and babies, and it pulls couples closer too. The more you laugh together, the closer he’ll feel to you and the more he’ll want to stick around.

It becomes a feedback loop: more time together means more laughter, which means more closeness. Find fun ways to entertain each other — swap jokes, watch comedies, tease each other gently. It’s a solid way to deepen his attachment to you. Light flirting is another great route to laughter... these flirting tips show you how.

Bring that same energy into the bedroom, too. Sex doesn’t need to be serious every time, and things can get a little awkward or silly — laughter cuts the tension nicely.

21. Own Who You Are

Every kind of addiction hinges on the feeling that nothing and no one else can fill that particular need.

That’s why the focus should be on being the truest version of yourself rather than mimicking someone else.

So lean into your best qualities — the ones your man already responds to — and don’t stress about being anyone but yourself. As Oscar Wilde put it, "Be yourself, everyone else is already taken."

What About Mixing Addictive Substances & Sex?

Some people turn to mind-altering substances like LSD, GHB/GBL, or MDMA hoping they’ll make sex incredible and leave their partner wanting them more than ever. Research shows just over 15.5% of both men and women have used MDMA during sex, and most report enjoying sex on it more than on nearly any other drug besides GHB/GBL [7].

There’s real potential for unforgettable sex that leaves him wanting you more than ever, but it’s genuinely hard to predict how your body will react to these substances, even with prior experience. On top of that, you should avoid potentially dangerous activities when your judgment is impaired.

If you came here wondering how to make a man shake in bed, hopefully this guide gave you plenty to work with. Love Curi has plenty more specific tips that will leave him craving your next encounter and practically counting down the days.

From aphrodisiacs to vacation sex to letting him rip your clothes off to trying something more athletic, there’s no shortage of ideas to explore. And naturally, sharpening your blow job skills (check out the blow job bible) goes a long way toward keeping him hooked, too.

Put this advice into practice, and you can leave your man genuinely sexually addicted to you, with everyone else fading into the background. That said, you don’t have to use every single tip here — pick what appeals to you most and build from there.

And...

Don’t be surprised when he ends up eating out of the palm of your hand!

Frequently Asked Questions

FAQ #1 – If I learn how to make a man cry in bed with pleasure, will it turn into a relationship?

Sexual relationships sometimes evolve into romantic ones, but plenty of people genuinely just want sex. If he's told you he isn't looking for a relationship, take that at face value. Sex can create a false sense of closeness, and you risk getting hurt if you fall for someone unavailable, no matter how intensely he responds to you physically.

If you keep offering him sex or girlfriend-like treatment without ever discussing where things are headed, he has zero incentive to define the relationship, and you could be stuck in limbo for months or years before finally walking away.

Bring it up if you think you might want more, but stay grounded and know what you deserve.

Be honest with yourself about whether you're developing feelings, or whether you're trying to talk yourself into wanting "just sex" when you actually want more. Looking out for yourself is on you.

FAQ #2 – My partner actually started crying after sex. Why?

There are a bunch of good and bad reasons why people cry after sex (and sometimes during sex).

FAQ #3 – I've tried all of these things; why isn't he addicted to me sexually?

Several possible explanations could be behind this:

• He's not a particularly sexual person
• He has a specific fetish or kink you haven't tapped into
• His sexual attention might be directed elsewhere
• You're too easy to get, and he's taking you for granted
• He carries guilt or shame around sex
• A medical issue is affecting his arousal, desire, or performance
• It could be a sign he doesn't want you sexually, meaning you may not be compatible

You really won't know for certain without talking to him. If things are more casual between you two, tread carefully — pushing for more or seeming demanding could make him pull away or end things.

But if this is your husband or a committed partner, and you want him not just addicted but shaking and moaning your name, honest conversations about sex are worth having. It's not always easy, but it pays off. Find out how to talk about sex.

October 8, 2020