13 Sexting Tips & 796 Sexting Examples To Turn Him On

20 min read

This guide walks you through sexting your partner smoothly and confidently. The advice below is split into 4 sections, along with 796 sexting examples, phrases, and lines ready to send your man.

Here's the structure:

How to confidently start sexting your man – 5 simple steps. Aimed at first-time sexters; jump to section 2 if sexting already feels comfortable for you.
13 sexting tips, ideas and scenarios to drive your man wild
796 sexting examples, phrases & lines to send your man
Sexting troubleshooting & help

Let's begin at the beginning…

How To Confidently Start Sexting Your Man

As with any sexual activity, sexting starts with making sure both you and your man genuinely consent to sending and receiving these messages.

From there…

1. Start Small

If sexting your man has been on your mind for a while, actually starting can feel genuinely intimidating:

What do I even say?

How explicit should this get?

What if he thinks this is weird?

No need to stress. There's a simple fix that avoids rejection and gets a positive reaction: start small and low-key, then build from there. A few examples:

Last night was so hot
I had a dream about you
I keep thinking about you kissing me

None of these read as particularly wild, right?

Really, they're just compliments with the potential to steer things in a naughtier direction.

Once he responds positively to one of these flirty compliments, you can gradually crank up the explicitness and intensity.

And if he brushes it off or switches topics, don't panic.

Give it a few days, then send another light, flirty text similar to the examples above.

It might take several attempts spread across a few weeks before he finally engages and sends one of his own.

2. Compliments Are The Perfect First Sext

That very first sexy text can feel genuinely nerve-wracking to send.

You want something that nudges the conversation toward sexy territory while…

Staying safe enough that rejection or a weirded-out reaction feels unlikely.

That's exactly why genuine compliments make a great opener.

They steer things in a flirtier direction, and it's honestly hard for him to respond negatively — he's basically nudged toward a positive reply. Here are 4 compliment examples perfect for a first sext:

I love feeling your body on mine
You've got this way of kissing me that makes me melt
You looked so hot last night in that shirt/jeans/suit/etc
I was thinking about you last night before I fell asleep

Each of these stays fairly subtle while inviting him to keep the conversation moving in a flirtier direction.

Once he starts replying with his own flirty texts, the next step is…

3. Build Up, Slowly

After a positive response to your initial sext, the urge to unload every fantasy and kink at once might hit. In most cases…

That's genuinely a mistake.

Instead, ease your sexting gradually from tame, to hot, to intense, to fully wild.

That gradual build prevents accidentally overwhelming him by moving too fast — the same principle behind slow, sensual sex.

This buildup might stretch across 2-3 days, or unfold over 2-3 months. So the real question becomes…

How fast should I go? – My general rule for early sexting: move a bit slower than instinct suggests.

That pacing keeps him wanting more, and never risks overshooting. Funnily enough…

It's usually men who rush things and end up overwhelming their female partners!

While pacing your sexting gradually, exchanging feedback with him matters too…

4. Get Feedback (& Give It Too!)

Once sexting's underway, genuinely exchanging feedback about what works for each of you matters enormously.

Giving feedback – The "compliment sandwich" works best here — wrapping constructive feedback between two genuine compliments.

Start by telling him exactly what kind of sexts you love receiving and why they work for you.
Follow with what you'd like less of.
Close out by complimenting his skills again and sharing how his sexting genuinely makes you feel.

When to give feedback – Best delivered in person, where nuance and tone come through clearly. Delivering constructive feedback purely via text risks real misunderstanding.

Lying together in bed post-sex is a genuinely great moment for this conversation.

Consider Your Audience – In some ways, sexting mirrors sex itself. It's a back-and-forth exchange, ideally enjoyable for both people, with each considering what the other actually wants.

Sexting loses its appeal fast when a partner ignores your preferences. Anyone who's received an unwanted dick pic knows exactly what that feels like! Which is exactly why understanding your specific partner, and what they genuinely want, should outweigh generic sexting advice.

For instance, some people avoid sexting during work hours or with family nearby. Others prefer apps that auto-delete photos, or stick to suggestive-but-not-fully-nude images. Lean on what you already know about your partner whenever starting a sexting exchange.

Even following this guide closely, an occasional sext might still miss the mark for your partner — so staying genuinely open to feedback matters.

Receiving feedback – Men can be genuinely puzzling creatures. Ask directly what he enjoys about your sexting, and he might answer with real specifics, or….

He might clam up entirely, offering a vague non-answer instead.

For a guy prone to holding back, try either/or questions instead. For example:

Do you prefer it when I send you dominant text messages or submissive ones?
Do you prefer it when I sext you about kinky things or more sensual, loving sex?
Would you like me to sext you about my sexual fantasies or about something like consensual non-consent?

With sexting underway and feedback flowing both ways, continued encouragement matters too…

5. Encourage Your Man

Keeping sexting genuinely fun and positive means actively encouraging him and expressing how much his naughty messages mean to you.

This echoes earlier points, worth repeating since plenty of people (any gender) forget how important encouragement genuinely is for a partner.

Tell him directly it turns you on. This can happen right in your reply, or more casually during regular conversation or after sex. Encourage him however feels most natural to you.

Mentioning a specific sext he sent and casually admitting it led to masturbating afterward works well too.

For something more understated, simply telling him it was hot enough that you re-read it occasionally does the trick.

13 Sexting Tips, Ideas & Scenarios To Drive Your Man Wild

Once sexting basics feel comfortable, these tips, scenarios, and strategies can take things to the next level.

1. That Was So Hot When You…

Probably the simplest sexting approach: recap an especially amazing session you've shared together via text. He'll likely respond in kind, turning the memory into a shared, collaborative retelling — even without ever reading a sexting guide himself!

A few tips for maximum intensity:

Open by mentioning you were thinking back to that moment: "I was thinking about that time in the hotel together last year…"
Share your headspace beforehand: "I just thought we were going to spend a chill weekend together. Little did I know…"
Describe the buildup: "But when you pushed me on the bed, you lit a fuse inside me. I've never felt so turned on."
Detail exactly what happened physically: "Feeling your dominance as you pinned me down, I felt totally helpless against you. As you pushed my panties to the side and I felt you slide inside me, I thought I was going to pass out with pleasure." Tips on how to satisfy a woman.
Share the emotional side: "I felt lost to you. Completely dominated by you. I just wanted you so bad."
Describe the sensation itself: "With each thrust, I could feel the pressure building. And building. I couldn't stop it and I didn't want to stop it. You pushed me right over the edge and I exploded in ecstasy over and over."

These particular examples run short intentionally. Feel free to stretch each step across multiple paragraphs describing the best sex you've ever had.

2. I Had This Fantasy Where…

Similar concept to the previous idea, with one key twist…

This time, you're describing a fantasy that hasn't actually happened yet. A few pointers for making it flow naturally:

Open by flagging it as a fantasy: "I was thinking about this fantasy I had last night…"
Explain the feeling and its source: "It makes me so aroused just thinking about you being submissive for me. I think it's because you are usually the dominant one during sex."
Detail the buildup and foreplay: "We're in our bedroom, getting ready for bed. You start getting handsy with me, but I push your hands away. You're disappointed, but I then pull out a pair of handcuffs, push you onto the bed and cuff your hands to the top of the bed."
Physically describe the scene: "I tear your pants off and start riding you in the cowgirl position. I slowly run my hand towards your neck and start to gently choke you."
Cover the emotional layer: "You're shocked but helpless as I continue to sensually dominate you. You start to get closer to orgasm as you can see me enjoying sex and the power I have over you."
Describe the physical peak: "As I rub my clit against you, I can feel myself getting closer and closer until I have one of the most intense orgasms of my life. I stop grinding and collapse on top of you before you get a chance to come ;)"

Again, these examples stay brief on purpose. Feel free to expand each step into full paragraphs.

3. Build Sexual Tension By Describing What You Are Going To Do Together

Building sexual tension works beautifully by describing exactly what's planned for him later.

Text out the plan in full detail — could be BDSM roleplay, rough sex, or exploring gentle femdom.

At its core, you're texting him a preview of what's coming.

The trick lies in slowly unfolding the buildup, the specific physical plans, and just how much you're anticipating it….

Setting the scene: "I'm going to get home at about 6 pm. When I do, we're going to go upstairs and you're going to sit down on the bed."
Detailing the physical plan: "I'm going to slowly take off your pants and take you into my mouth. Then, I'm going to use some of the wild blow job techniques I just read about. But you're not going to come straight away. I'm going to repeatedly edge you over and over until you can't take it anymore. Then, when you finally beg me, I will take you deep in my mouth."
Expressing anticipation: "Anyway, I can't wait to see you later :)"

Sending sexy morning texts before an evening together keeps him thinking about you the entire day.

Sending it a few days ahead works even better — he'll be counting down for days!

The 243 ideas in our sex bucket list can spark even more detailed scenarios for sexting.

4. Build Sexual Tension By Being Less Explicit

Most advice up to this point has leaned fully explicit and direct.

Men genuinely love that, but…

Sticking purely to explicit blow-by-blow messages means missing one of the most effective sexting approaches!

Mixing in vaguer, less explicit messages matters too. That vagueness builds real tension, forcing his imagination to fill in the blanks.

Especially powerful across distance, like a long-distance relationship (which often naturally teaches sexting skills, given the lack of in-person availability).

A few examples:

I keep thinking about you before I fall asleep.
I just saw something that reminded me of [sexy shared memory]
I can't wait to feel your arms around me.
I'm not sure if I will be able to control myself around you when I see you.
I wish you were with me when I was showering earlier 😉

Notice none of these get particularly explicit, or give away everything?

That's the whole point. It's exactly what builds tension.

5. Tell Him How He Makes You Feel

Stuck on what to sext? Try this instead…

Tell him directly how he makes you feel.

I feel so small when you're on top of me
You make me feel so submissive when you're aggressive during sex (100+ submissive things to say during sex)
I feel so loved when you hold me
I feel so turned on when you look me deep in my eyes
I get so horny when you spank me
I felt so emotional when we had sex last week when you were on top of me in the Missionary position

Simple, hot, and genuinely honest.

6. Role Play

Sexting is a genuinely great fit if roleplay with your man appeals to you.

It opens the door to exploring fantasies and different facets of your personality, and…

Doing it virtually removes a lot of the pressure real-life roleplay carries.

Before diving in, talk with him first to pin down which roleplay ideas genuinely appeal to both of you.

Tips: How to turn a guy on FAST.

A few roleplay ideas worth trying:

Boss & secretary
Prisoner & prison guard
Master & slave
Cheating spouse & side piece

Check out our guide with 42 freaky role play ideas for couples for more inspiration.

Once a scenario's picked, sexting it out is straightforward. Here are examples for a boss-and-secretary roleplay:

I'm so sorry I was late for work, sir. Am I in trouble?
I know we have to work late tonight. Is there something I can do to make it easier?
Do you need me to accompany you on your work trip?
I wore these new heels for you, what do you think?

7. Masturbate & Sext

Ever tried phone sex where both partners masturbate while talking simultaneously?

The same concept translates to sexting. Simple enough — here are 3 things worth describing while masturbating and texting:

What's physically happening — maybe using a vibrator, a dildo, or fingering yourself.
What the sensation feels like. These descriptions of what an orgasm feels like offer plenty of inspiration.
What's fueling the fantasy — memories of him? His voice right now? A scene he's describing?

Read: How to masturbate for intense pleasure.

8. Make Him Feel Wanted

This particular tip works incredibly well for a quick turn-on.

Simply tell him you want him. Literally text:

I want you.

That sentence alone carries genuine weight, but adding detail makes it even stronger:

I want you so bad right now
I want to feel your body on top of mine
I want to feel you in my arms, close to me
I want to feel you tense up as you orgasm and come inside me
I want to taste you

9. Ask Him Sexy Questions

Sometimes it's easier to let him carry the momentum, especially when "what do I even sext?" becomes a genuine struggle.

The best way to shift that workload onto him?

Ask questions.

A few dedicated guides packed with hot, dirty prompts:

10. Leave Him Wanting More

Getting exactly what you want, whenever you want it, turns out to be…

Genuinely unsatisfying.

Here's the reasoning…

Logically, skipping effort and waiting should feel great, but that's not how our psychology actually works.

Waiting, earning something through effort, then finally getting it feels considerably more rewarding.

The same principle applies to your sexting with him.

Rather than handing over everything he wants immediately…

Occasionally holding back leaves him wanting more.

With that in mind, mix in:

Less explicit, lower-intensity sexts
More romantic, caring messages. Tips for having romantic sex.
Flirty text messages that deliberately build tension. Tips on how to flirt with your man.
Messages that drag out a scene rather than cutting straight to the point

A word of warning: Doing this constantly would grow genuinely frustrating for him. Applying it 10-30% of the time, though, is enough to spice up sex through sexting alone.

11. Send Pictures & Videos, But Be Careful

Trading sexy pictures and videos can genuinely turn up the heat, but…

The risk of them somehow reaching a wider audience is real.

Whether intentional on his end, a stolen phone, or a hacked account — there's no way to fully predict it.

How to avoid anxiety – Rather than sending nudes and constantly stressing over whether he'll share them, assume anything sent could theoretically end up seen by others, meaning…

Only send images and videos you'd genuinely be okay with others potentially seeing.

That way, no mental energy gets wasted worrying about if or when it happens.

That said, sticking to photos without your face or identifying tattoos/marks is an option if privacy is a real concern.

Now, guidance on sending pictures and videos, ranked from least to most risky:

Send sexy but non-explicit pics/videos – Fully clothed, seductively posed photos or videos can be enough to tease and tantalize him, leaving him craving more. No nudity required at all. Tips for dressing sexy and slutty.

Send underwear pics/videos – A step up in intensity while still stopping short of full nudity. Tips for taking sexy selfies.

Nude pics/videos – Now firmly in 18+ territory. Play with lighting and angles for something tasteful and suggestive…or go fully direct instead. Tips for taking great nudes.

Sexual pictures and videos – The final tier: images or footage of actual sex acts, or stripping for your man. Could be solo content, or shared moments from a previous encounter together.

Auto-deleting messages? – One last note: don't assume auto-deleting apps guarantee full safety. Screenshots remain entirely possible!

12. Voice Messages

Voice notes aren't technically sexting, but since most texting apps support them, they're worth mentioning here.

Depending on comfort level and experience, plenty of voice note options exist:

Moaning (how to moan with pleasure during sex)
Sounds of masturbation
Instructions on what you want from him, or what he wants from you
Questions
Narrating a scene

The same guiding principle from earlier applies here too:

Only send voice messages you'd genuinely be comfortable with others hearing.

13. Tell A Sexy Story

Creative types might enjoy telling him a sex story through text, making it interactive by asking for his input as the story unfolds.

The story can be entirely real, or completely fictional.

For inspiration, check out these red-hot, true sex stories.

796 Powerful Sext Messages To Send Your Man

Every favorite filthy, flirty, loving, dirty, and sexy line lives across the guides below:

Sexting Troubleshooting

1. I Find It Hard To Write & Send Sexts

Maybe a partner sexts you regularly, and you genuinely love receiving those texts.

But here's the catch.

Some women genuinely struggle to reply with their own flirty messages, even wanting to!

It's like a mental roadblock.

Not knowing what to say, worrying it'll sound off, or lacking the nerve to hit send are all common. A few paths forward:

Explain your genuine feelings to him — that you enjoy it and want it to keep going, but struggle to reciprocate.
Reply with encouraging compliments like "That sounds hot," "Wow," or "Tell me more," letting him take the lead.
Start sending your own messages, even if they feel tame at first. "I want to kiss you," "I want to wrap my arms around you," or "I keep thinking about Saturday night" all count as solid sexts, intensity aside.

Following these 3 guidelines and giving yourself time will make sending increasingly explicit sexts feel considerably easier as confidence builds.

2. Sometimes Sexting Doesn't Work For Me. That's Pretty Normal, Actually…

Some days, sexting just doesn't click. The right groove doesn't arrive.

He might not respond quite how you'd hoped
The right words might not come to mind

Whatever the specific reason, it's genuinely not that important, but…

Every couple hits this occasionally. Sometimes sexting simply falls flat, regardless of how clever, filthy, or wild the message is. Sometimes a partner genuinely loved what was sent but has no idea how to respond.

The best move: don't stress or force it. Skip sending sext after sext if he's not engaging positively.

Just pivot topics and…

Return to ordinary texts and a normal conversation. Try sexting again another time.

Some couples never quite find their sexting rhythm together. Entirely fine too! Not every couple clicks with every kink and sex activity.

3. Don't Forget To Send Regular Texts Too!

Sexting your man is genuinely fun. Once it starts, stopping might feel unappealing. Here's the thing, though…

Sexting works like a spice.

Too little, and things feel bland. Too much, and it overwhelms everything else.

Finding the right balance for your relationship matters — enough to keep things interesting, without every conversation turning purely sexual.

Regular, everyday conversation still deserves space too!

4. I Don't Enjoy Sexting. No Problem…

Plenty of fun activities get covered across Love Curi — blow jobs, hand jobs, anal sex, tips on how to be great at eating pussy, an in-depth guide on BDSM, and plenty more.

Most people genuinely only gravitate toward a small slice of these activities.

If a suggested sex position or learning how to make yourself squirt doesn't interest you and your partner, simply skip it and focus on what genuinely excites you both.

Sexting works the same way.

Not into it? No big deal at all.

Set it aside and explore something else entirely.

5. If You Want It To Stop, Say It

Sexting isn't universally appealing. If it's genuinely not working for you, tell your partner directly that you'd like to stop.

Feeling pressured into sexting should never be the norm.

Being coerced into any unwanted sexual activity crosses into abuse territory. But when genuine interest exists, sexting can be a lot of fun without any real intimidation involved!

With this full picture of successful sexting in hand, it's time to dive in and enjoy it! And if personal sexting tips of your own come to mind, share them in the comments!

October 22, 2024

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