29 Exciting New Bedroom Ideas To Break Your Routine

21 min read

Whether kids, work, school, or other stress seems to be draining your sex life, or you and your partner have simply been together long enough that the spark's dimmed a bit, you don't have to just sit back and watch it fade. We've got no shortage of new things to try in bed. Surprise your partner with one or several of these ideas next time you're in the mood, or just show him this list directly to rev things back up and bring the excitement back!

1. Use Lube

If there's just one change guaranteed to improve your sex life, it's using lube. Standard lube smooths penetration and makes sex feel better for everyone involved. You can also find flavored lube for oral sex, plus sensation lubes that tingle or warm.

Learn more about lube.

2. Snap a Shot

Smartphones have made sexy selfies wildly popular. Why not lean into that and capture a few hot photos of you and your partner mid-romp? You don't have to post them anywhere; they can exist purely for the two of you.

Experiment with different angles, or grab a few point-of-view shots while you're feeling adventurous. If you're feeling especially bold, record yourselves having sex to watch back later when you want to get in the mood. Prop up a tripod at the foot of the bed, or just use your phone for video.

Just make sure you trust whoever you're with not to share these images or clips with anyone else.

3. Add to Your Erotic Bookshelf

Reading short stories aloud to each other is a quick way to get both of you turned on, and you can pick your favorites ahead of time. There's no shortage of sexy reading material out there, either! Plenty of sexy fiction exists well beyond Fifty Shades of Grey.

Cleis Press is a publisher known for its erotica anthologies and novels. Each year, they release collections spanning gay, lesbian, BDSM, and bisexual themes, among plenty of others. Anne Rice's "Sleeping Beauty" trilogy leans into bondage themes too, but you'll find huge variety if you go looking.

Plenty of authors self-publish straight to Amazon, ideal if you own a Kindle, and the internet's packed with fan fiction and erotic writing communities like Literotica. Whatever source you turn to, erotica is a solid well of new things to try in bed.

4. Roleplay

Go beyond imagining yourself in another story, actually play it out. Roleplay might feel a little silly as something new to try, but it lets you step into personas totally different from your own. If work or home life keeps you weighed down with responsibility, playing a student or another submissive role can offer real release.

Roleplay can also bring in costumes and props that inject fresh energy into your sex life. Maybe you've still got a plaid skirt tucked away from Catholic school, or you've always wanted to see your partner in uniform. Roleplay lets you explore either.

Here are some great ideas for roleplay in the bedroom.

5. Hand Over the Control

No, we're not talking domination and submission here, though there's plenty of appeal there too! Literally handing your partner the remote for your vibrator can feel thrilling! He picks the intensity and mode while you soak up all the pleasure.

You've got a couple of routes here. Stay home and hand him control of your favorite remote-controlled vibrator, Lelo makes several great options. Or head out to dinner or a movie wearing vibrating panties he can control from his phone, with no one else the wiser.

6. Head to a Hotel

Sometimes the best new thing to try in bed is simply a different bed entirely! A hotel makes that easy, and it absolutely belongs on your sexy bucket list. You can even weave in a bit of roleplay while you're at it.

Hotel sex is great because cleanup's not your problem, and it feels even more exciting if you arrive separately. Book the room while he wraps up work, set the mood with lighting, and slip into your favorite lingerie (more on that shortly) while waiting for his knock at the door.

Hotel sex is just one of 40 dirty and freaky things you can try with your boyfriend to keep the heat going.

7. Open the Backdoor

Plenty of women feel hesitant about anal sex, even though it often tops men's list of things to try in bed. That hesitation makes total sense, but anal sex can genuinely feel good for you too! Some women experience anal orgasms, while others simply enjoy knowing how much pleasure they're giving their partner.

Take things slow, keep communicating, and use plenty of lube. You might not nail it the first attempt, and that's completely fine. Starting with a smaller toy can help you work up to your partner's size.

If penetration isn't your thing, stimulation around the outside of the anus can still feel great. Try a toy, or have your partner touch you there during vaginal sex for an added layer of fun.

8. Play a Game: Who Can Last the Longest

If you've mastered the quickie, you probably have a routine that gets you in and out of the bedroom without alerting the kids, roommates, or neighbors.

But that routine can get stale, so why not flip the script entirely?

Next time you're in the mood, try this little game with your partner…

Take turns stimulating each other with hands, bodies, mouths, and genitals, trying to push the other toward orgasm. Your job is resisting climax for as long as possible. Whoever holds out longest wins.

Pair this with edging, and you could easily have hours of fun ahead of you!

9. Make Out Like Teenagers

Plenty of these tips lean toward penetrative sex and ways to spice it up, but sometimes the best move for reigniting attraction is skipping sex entirely. This especially applies if you're feeling stuck in a rut.

You probably remember making out in cars, movie theaters, or wherever no one was watching, back in your teenage years. Those moments felt frantic and full of lust, and a little making out now can bring that energy right back.

Brush up on your kissing skills. Naturally, long kissing sessions tend to lead to groping and dry humping, which any woman who enjoys grinding-based clitoral stimulation will appreciate.

10. X Marks the Spot

This last idea is a fun way to teach a new partner exactly where and how to touch you. It's similar to playing with sex dice, but gives you more say over where your partner's attention lands.

Use body paint to mark X's on your body wherever you'd like your partner to kiss, nibble, spank, or grope. If it's edible, he can lick it off once he completes the task. Eyeliner or washable marker work in a pinch too, just lay down a towel to protect your sheets!

Different symbols can indicate different requests, or you can just write it out plainly. Why not text him a picture of your hip labeled "Bite here" to get his mind racing throughout the day?

11. Break Out of the Bedroom

If sex always happens in the bedroom, it might be starting to feel stale. Fix that by simply not having sex there for once. Move to the living room sofa or dining table, as long as you've got privacy from housemates.

Never underestimate how much a change of location can do. Plenty of other spots exist for sex, too, whether that's in the car at a secluded drive-in, a campsite, a public restroom with real risk of getting caught, or an empty movie theater. A new setting can feel genuinely exhilarating.

Just make sure you're not breaking any laws along the way!

12. Add Music

Music has a strange, powerful effect on us. You've probably heard a song that made you feel incredibly sexy, noticed how the right track can make a movie scene sizzle, or watched a dancer move perfectly to a well-chosen song. If music hasn't made its way into your sex life yet, what are you waiting for?

Check out these songs to make love to or this sex song playlist with over 400 tracks!

13. Breathe Together

One core idea in tantric sex is breathing together. One partner exhales while the other breathes it "in." You can also simply sync your breathing. Start before sex even begins, gazing into your partner's eyes. It can feel remarkably vulnerable and intimate.

Focusing on breath can also help if you tend to hyperventilate during sex. Breathing techniques may help you stay present in the moment [1], a core piece of mindfulness [2]. Staying mindful and present tends to make sex more enjoyable overall. Presence is even one of 8 essential ingredients of great sex [3], and concentrating on the moment is linked to orgasm [4].

14. Restrict the Senses

We've got five senses, but how often do all of them show up during sex? One surprising way to engage all of them is by restricting them instead. What does that mean exactly?

Block sight with a blindfold, and sound with headphones or earplugs. Slip on gloves, mitts, or plastic wrap over hands or other body parts. Keep your partner quiet with a ball gag.

The theory goes that dialing down one sense sharpens all the others. Losing sight or sound temporarily can heighten sexual tension and stir up that good kind of nervous anticipation.

If sensory restriction paired with bondage sounds appealing, check out these kinky sex ideas.

15. Play With His Prostate

A man's prostate is a sensitive spot you can reach through the anus or perineum, capable of producing genuinely powerful orgasms. Some men become multi-orgasmic thanks to prostate stimulation alone. Reach it with a finger or a toy, including a strap-on (better known as pegging).

For more: Prostate Massage 101: Multiple, GIGANTIC, Shaking, Full-Body Orgasms!

17. Head to the Bathroom

You might not think of the bathroom as the sexiest room in the house, but it can host some genuinely great moments. Try starting with shower sex (more about shower sex), or discover how surprisingly sensual bathtub sex can be. Light some candles, run your hands over your partner while soaping them up, and enjoy the feel of water on skin.

Note: water-based lube breaks down quickly in the shower, so opt for something silicone-based instead. Just remember silicone lube can degrade condoms and cause them to break!

Don't overlook the mirrors in your bathroom either! Lock eyes with your partner while bent over the counter as he takes you from behind.

18. Spend the Day Naked

Unless nudism's already your thing, you might not realize how liberating a clothes-free day can feel. Spending a day naked can be genuinely sexy, or it might just turn into a silly, fun experience. Some people even find it helps them feel more accepting of their own body.

If you usually strip down and jump straight under the covers, a naked day encourages you to actually look at and touch your partner's body, and have them return the favor.

19. Leave Some Clothes On

At the opposite extreme, try keeping clothes on entirely during sex. Sometimes this happens naturally when you simply can't wait.

Wear a skirt or dress you can hike up for penetration or oral sex. Skip underwear entirely to make it feel even naughtier. Keep your heels on while you're at it. Or leave your top on, bonus points if it's his button-down shirt.

20. Dress Up for Your Man

The last idea might have you thinking about what to wear in bed, and it doesn't have to be lingerie! Button-down shirts remain popular, with or without heels.

But you can dress up for him well before you even reach the bedroom. Maybe your go-to look is a messy bun and yoga pants most days. That's fine, and can be sexy in its own right, but your partner will likely appreciate a little extra effort now and then.

Plenty of looks are worth trying, from pinup to biker chick and everything between. Find something that feels like you, and don't forget what you wear underneath, the little surprise he'll discover as he undresses you! Extra points if he dresses up too, for date night.

Related: How To Dress Sexy For Your Man

21. Head Out on the Town

If you're lucky enough to live somewhere with options, you might find something to get you both worked up before heading home to devour each other. Check local listings and social media for things like:

A strip club where dancers perform just for you, lap dance included.
A burlesque show featuring performers shedding layers of costume to music.
A BDSM club where you can try bondage and discipline firsthand, or simply watch others. Always check the house rules for what's allowed.
A BDSM munch where local community members can literally show you the ropes.

22. Wake Him Up for Oral – Or Vice Versa

Few men would complain about waking up to a blow job or other sexual attention from a partner. You might enjoy the same treatment in return! Some people are especially horny right at wake-up (though this could also strike in the middle of the night before drifting back to sleep together).

Not every guy is into morning sex, though.

Your partner likely won't mind if you simply check with him ahead of time about whether he'd welcome this. Feeling sneaky? Find out and surprise him instead.

Get tips for giving a killer blow job.

23. Play With Time

If you've been with your partner a while, even as friends with benefits who've had plenty of sex already, you've probably settled into a routine. That's likely exactly why you're hunting for new things to try in bed!

For most people, that routine looks the same: sex at night, right before bed.

If you both genuinely love that rhythm, great!

But for most couples, it eventually starts feeling a bit dull and predictable.

"Playing with time" offers an easy fix.

That might mean having sex at an unusual hour. Ever tried morning sex? Or squeeze in some afternoon delight.

And…

Another way to play with time is slowing everything down. We cover slow sex in more depth here, but you can also add extra foreplay or pause more often mid-sex. As you might already suspect, longer sex sessions with more variety usually mean more orgasms!

In fact, women already seem to know this instinctively, since one study found women in same-sex relationships report longer sexual encounters [5] and more orgasms than their straight counterparts [6, 7].

Coincidence? Not likely!

That said, if marathon sex is already your norm, squeezing in a quickie instead might feel refreshing. One of the best things about quickies is how little time they actually require.

Read all about quickies.

24. Get Sensual

From an intimate, candlelit massage (or dim lighting, if candles feel risky) to a slow dance together, you can enjoy sex that leans toward lovemaking rather than pure "fucking." You could even try sensual bondage if power exchange appeals to you.

If that sounds appealing, check out these articles on Love Curi:

Candles (massage candles do double duty here), incense, a scarf draped over a lamp, and silky sheets all help set a genuinely sensual scene.

And in case you're worried your partner won't be into sensual, romantic sex, think again! One study found that "Romantic/affectionate behaviors were among those most commonly identified as appealing for both men and women [8]."

25. Be Selfish

If you're like most women, sex probably feels like something you "give" while your partner "takes." Maybe it even feels like a chore for you at times, while your partner always finishes. But what about you?

Time to be a little selfish. Make sure you get yours! Take charge and touch yourself, or reach for your favorite toy if penetration alone isn't cutting it (after all, fewer than 19% of women climax from penetration alone [9]). You might be surprised how much it turns your partner on watching you take control and prioritize your own pleasure. Seeing you enjoy yourself is a huge turn-on for the good ones, at least!

And once you're satisfied, you can spend time worshiping your partner and their body in return, making sure their fantasies come true too. This works especially well if submission is also part of your dynamic.

Discover how to be submissive in the bedroom.

26. Share Each Other

For the most adventurous couples, swinging is one new thing genuinely worth exploring. You've probably heard the term before. It means swapping partners, typically with another couple, though singles occasionally join in too [10]. Dedicated swinging clubs exist, or you could bring the topic up with a couple you're already friendly with.

Swinging can mean anything from making out with someone else to going all the way. You might find it hot knowing your partner's with another woman while you're with her partner right beside them, especially if you have a voyeuristic streak or exhibitionistic kink. Or you might prefer separate rooms entirely.

There's no single "right" way to swing, but boundaries and safe sex absolutely need discussing beforehand.

Articles to check out:

27. Masturbate – Together

If you haven't discovered the appeal of masturbating together yet, let us fill you in! Most men, and women too, find it incredibly hot watching a partner touch themselves. Tell him you'd like to try this, or let him "discover" you masturbating instead, as long as you're confident he'd find that hot.

Watching you touch yourself teaches your partner exactly what you like. You can also guide his hand and masturbate alongside him, or have him direct you and follow his instructions instead!

Masturbating together is known as mutual masturbation, and you can learn all about it.

Masturbating solo is also a great way to discover your own preferences. Sharing those preferences with a partner can add real spark to your sex life and strengthen your emotional connection [11].

28. Get on Top

You might be surprised how many women never actually ride their partner. Or maybe you wouldn't be, if the idea feels intimidating to you. Still, it's a genuine treat to let your partner lie back and enjoy the show while you do the work!

If confidence is holding you back from getting on top, check out our guide on learning to feel more confident when riding your man.

Even trying new positions in general can stir up anxiety about sex [12], so talking through your worries with your partner might genuinely help.

29. Learn How to Squirt

Squirting is a skill plenty of women work toward, and partners tend to get pretty excited about it too. Many women can squirt, though not all can. Getting familiar with your G-spot is a must if squirting's the goal, and sex toys can make the process considerably easier.

Discover how you can squirt.

30. Make It A Game

Got a whole list of things you want to try in bed but no idea where to start? No problem. Jot each idea down on a slip of paper and toss them all into a fishbowl. Then, whenever you're both feeling adventurous, pull one or two slips out at random.

For activities that need advance prep, pick your slip a day or two ahead of time in case you need to buy anything or get ready.

The fishbowl approach works well because both of you can contribute ideas, and randomness keeps things fair when it comes to choosing what to try.

You could also swap the fishbowl for a digital version. Build a numbered list of things to try and generate a number at Random.org to decide what happens tonight.

Psst, want more ideas like these? Check out these 14 incredible sex tips to keep boredom out of the bedroom for good.

Trying new things in bed might take a little more planning than you're used to giving sex, but that's actually a good thing! A huge share of sexual enjoyment comes from the mental side, and getting you and your partner thinking about sex outside the bedroom is bound to turn up the heat!

Resources

Struggling to talk about sex, or figure out what to try next? These sites can help. Each offers lists of sexual activities you and your partner can flag interest in separately, sparking conversation and helping you explore together.

Dr. Emily Morse wrote a book about new things worth trying sexually, and she walks through five ideas in this video on ThinkTank.

AutoStraddle's Sex Worksheet is a genuinely useful, fun tool for discussing sex and broadening your sexual horizons.

Psychologist Robyn Salisbury answers a reader's question about getting a reluctant partner to try new things in bed, worth a read if your partner isn't quite on board yet.

Frequently Asked Questions

FAQ #1 – What's the benefit of trying new things in bed?

Research shows that couples who try new things together strengthen their relationship and boost overall satisfaction [13]. The same logic likely applies in the bedroom. Together, you'll learn more about each other, and probably share a laugh if something doesn't go quite as planned.

Sexually, trying new things can keep your sex life from going stale. Some of these new ideas might even help you orgasm for the first time, or more easily if that's been a struggle. Making a real effort to try new things often means spending more time on a given activity, or exploring more variety, both of which can support a woman's ability to orgasm.

Related: How to Orgasm

Exploring fetishes and kinks can also unlock more pleasure. For some people, these interests are core to their sexuality or identity, and denying or ignoring them can breed resentment down the line.

Making a conscious effort to try new things and discuss exactly what and how also builds your communication skills, which matter enormously for satisfying sex with a partner [14].

FAQ #2 – What if I want to try new things sexually, but my partner doesn't?

Sometimes one partner wants to explore more while the other hesitates, for all kinds of reasons.

One partner already feels satisfied, or simply isn't creative.
Your partner doesn't particularly enjoy sex.
One partner holds sex-negative views and sees exploration as wrong, immoral, or sinful.
Your partner worries your desire to try new things means he's not "enough" for you.
One partner views sex as less important than the other does.
Your partner feels out of their depth when it comes to trying new things.
The specific things you want to try feel unappealing, or even frightening, to your partner.
Your partner wants to try new things too but feels too shy, guilty, or embarrassed to say so.

Many of these roadblocks trace back to unhelpful attitudes about sex, covered in more depth in our guide to improving your sex life. If your partner's open to becoming more sex-positive, that shift can genuinely help you both explore more freely. Still, you can't force someone's mind open. They have to be willing to embrace vulnerability, honesty, and the occasional misstep to truly open up.

Maybe your partner's already sex-positive but simply leans more vanilla or has a lower libido. Neither has to be a dealbreaker if you talk it through and find ways to compromise, or consider alternatives like opening up your relationship.

On the other hand, pressuring a partner into something they genuinely don't want can leave them feeling objectified and resentful in return. Being pushed into something against your will can even be traumatic [15].

Sexual compatibility matters more to some people than others, and you might find greater happiness with a partner who's just as eager to try new things and shares a similar libido to yours.

October 19, 2020

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