31 Powerful Sex Tips For Men To Make Her Scream With Pleasure

Love Curi might have started out focused on sex tips for women, but so many men wanted their own advice that a dedicated guide for guys just made sense! If mastering the techniques that leave your wife or girlfriend unable to control herself around you sounds appealing, keep reading…

Let's start with the single most important sex tip you'll ever pick up if better sex for her is the goal. It's…

1. The Golden Rule: Make Her Feel Sexy And Desired

Most guys overlook this entirely because it isn't a physical technique or position — yet it's genuinely the single most valuable tip here when it comes to turning her on and improving your sex life together.

Sure, as a man, being desired feels great too, but…

Making your girl feel wanted and desired sends her arousal through the roof, even before your technical skills improve at all.

Deep desire and feeling sexy can turn her into an absolute sex-craving force.

Doubt this works? Pick up any romance novel. The plot basically always boils down to the same thing:

Man pursues woman.

Genuinely — grab a copy of 50 Shades of Grey or just skim a summary. The entire narrative revolves around a man's intense pursuit and desire for a woman.

The one caveat: some baseline attraction needs to already exist. Women aren't drawn to stalker energy or genuine losers!

So how do you actually build that sense of desirability? The guide on how to make her horny covers the details, but here's a quick preview:

• Flatter her
• Show genuine appreciation
• Be thoughtful
• Use the "Princess Principle"
• Work on yourself
• Touch her the right way
• Make comfortable eye contact

Additional help: How to make her feel desired.

2. Be Selfish, Sometimes

This heading might seem surprising in a guide for men, but stick with me.

Occasional selfishness in bed actually reinforces that sense of deep desire covered above.

And…

This particular piece of advice packs real intensity.

Let me break it down.

When the urge to get her home, tear her clothes off, and take her right in the kitchen because the bedroom feels too far away hits you, that impulse screams:

"I want every inch of you. And I want you now!"

It's the perfect physical embodiment of raw desire for her.

It also shifts focus toward your own pleasure. Not a bad thing, right?

So how can selfishness show up in a positive way rather than a needy, pathetic one?

• Go for a morning quickie.
• Pull her into the shower with you.
• If she's giving you a blow job/hand job and pauses before you finish, tell her how amazing it feels and ask her to keep going until you come.

Naturally, constant selfishness in the bedroom defeats the whole point — it backfires entirely. But dial it in occasionally, maybe once or twice out of every ten encounters, and it becomes genuinely powerful.

It signals to her that she's simply irresistible to you.

3. Understand Her Kinks and Specific Turn Ons

Plenty of men make a genuinely foolish assumption about sex — expecting that whatever turns them on personally should naturally turn her on too.

Sometimes that's accurate, but…

Frequently, your turn-ons and hers don't overlap at all. Missing this distinction alone can be the single thing holding your bedroom game back.

Plenty of women respond to things that feel completely foreign to most men. Case in point:

Watching you fix the car, care for the kids, or handle the dishes can genuinely function as an aphrodisiac for her. These moments can literally unlock her desire and turn her into a genuinely eager partner, yet men routinely overlook them entirely.

So genuinely great sex means discovering these specific triggers and weaving them naturally into everyday life.

Of course, forcing these triggers unnaturally just makes you look ridiculous.

Say she mentions finding it hot watching you handle manual labor late at night — sprinting outside at 11pm to fix the car or split firewood is going to feel forced, and honestly a little strange, rather than genuinely arousing.

Instead, quietly file the observation away and let it show up organically in your everyday routine.

Similarly, borrowing a technique that worked wonders on a past partner is an easy trap. Women aren't interchangeable — what one loved, your current partner might genuinely dislike. Tailoring your approach to the actual person in front of you matters enormously.

Struggling to identify what genuinely arouses her? Our guide to better sexual communication can help.

Of course, she likely has a few turn-ons that are easier for guys to grasp too — BDSM, rougher sex, or roleplay all fall into that more universally understood category if intense sex is the goal.

4. Clitoral Stimulation

It's fairly well established that most women need some form of clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm during sex. Not universally true, but common enough — one study found 36.6% of women reported needing clitoral stimulation to orgasm during intercourse, with another 36% saying their orgasms simply felt better with it, even when not strictly necessary [1].

Some even theorize that women who orgasm from penetration alone manage it because their clitoris sits close enough to the vaginal opening to make direct stimulation happen incidentally!

So neglecting the clitoris, or failing to prioritize it properly, does neither of you any favors!

Fortunately, brushing up here is entirely doable. An in-depth guide on clitoral stimulation during sex already exists — written for women, but equally valuable reading for men wanting to master the positions and techniques that maximize her clitoral pleasure.

The Clitoral Stimulation Guide

5. Push Deep As You Cum

One simple, powerful move worth trying: thrusting and pushing as deep as possible right at the moment of your own climax.

Plenty of women find this genuinely thrilling — like unleashing pure primal instinct on them.

A few ways to pull this off:

• In Missionary position, grip her ass or shoulders and pull yourself deeper.
• In Cowgirl position, grab her waist and draw her down as you thrust upward during sex.
• In Doggy Style, plenty of grip points exist — hips, waist, shoulders, even her hair.
• If she's comfortable with deep throating, try pulling her head in as you finish — just avoid choking or hurting her, and agree on a stop signal beforehand.

Pulling her in deep as you climax also works beautifully if either of you has a breeding kink.

6. Pulling Her Hair the Right Way

Plenty of women (and men) find hair pulling genuinely hot during sex. Not everyone, but plenty.

The catch: there's a correct way and an incorrect way to do it — one feels intensely erotic for her, the other just genuinely hurts.

Too many guys grab the very end of her hair like a leash handle. This HURTS and delivers zero pleasure. Skip that entirely.

Mastering this technique demands a bit more care.

The specific zone she'll actually enjoy having pulled is quite narrow. It's…

• The area at the back of the head, where hair meets neck up toward the crown.
• The first few inches of hair, right at the scalp.

Focus exclusively on this zone, using this grip technique:

Gently drag your nails up the back of her neck into her hair, lightly grazing the scalp as you go. Once your fingertips reach the spot at the back of her head roughly behind her eyes, grip a section of hair firmly at its base — firm, not painfully tight.

Grab a substantial section, not just a thin strand. Pulling a small lock specifically can genuinely hurt.

And that's the whole technique!

Plenty of women also love the sensation of nails grazing their scalp without any actual hair pulling involved.

7. Dominate Her

Plenty of women fantasize about being dominated during sex. Master this, and you can easily become the best she's ever had — someone she genuinely fantasizes about.

Now…

Three critical things need to be understood before diving into domination.

1) Genuine commitment to the role is essential. She needs to genuinely feel and believe the domination is real. A nervous, hesitant voice while weakly repositioning her in bed undermines that belief entirely.

Compare that to locking eyes with her and firmly commanding "get on your knees, bitch" while physically guiding her down — that's an entirely different, believable dynamic. More examples follow below.

2) This only works between 2 consenting adults. Planning something genuinely intense calls for a conversation beforehand. A safeword protects both of you, physically and emotionally. If she genuinely dislikes being dominated, skip straight to another technique instead.

3) Domination comes in different flavors, and figuring out her specific preference matters.

Animalistic Domination – This taps directly into primal instinct. You're the man, she's the woman, and the mindset is "You want to fuck her, and nothing will stop you" — obviously stopping the instant a safeword gets used.

Physically, this means pushing her around, tearing off clothes, ignoring token protests, and simply taking what you want.

While some BDSM styles skip safewords entirely, this particular flavor absolutely requires one in case intensity escalates too far.

Loving Domination – This centers on confidence, control, and steady dominance. Once in the bedroom, slowly undress her, push her onto the bed, position yourself on top, and begin.

Loving domination isn't about pain or humiliation, though you can still…

• Stay firmly in control of position changes and how her body moves.
• Softly grip her hair and massage her scalp.
• Gently pin her wrists against the bed.
• Lightly grasp her neck, simulating choking.
• Take her slowly but with real force.

Wrestling & Play Fighting – This style might sound absurd on paper, but it genuinely works for flirtation, building sexual tension, and keeping things fresh long-term.

Essentially, playful wrestling in bed together — with you easily able to overpower and dominate her too 😉

Wrestling doesn't scream "steamy," and that's exactly the point — sex doesn't always need to be serious. A little laughter and playfulness genuinely matter too.

It works precisely because it's fun while still reminding her you can physically overpower her completely — a combination that turns her on regardless.

Amp it up further with a cheeky line like, "I thought you were a strong, independent woman?" delivered with a grin.

Sadistic Domination – If she's already expressed masochistic tendencies, or interest in humiliation, explore that territory together. Just agree on boundaries and a safeword first.

If physical sadistic domination appeals to her, try:

• Whipping, spanking, or paddling her rear
• Face slapping
• The rougher style of hair pulling
• Deep throating her
• Making her hold uncomfortable stretches
• Directly asking what kinds of physical sadism appeal to her, then delivering.

For verbal humiliation instead:

• Tell her she's worthless
• Tell her she's nothing but a slut
• Tell her she's a stupid bimbo
• Spit on her.
• Have her label herself with whatever term she finds most humiliating — "slut," "whore," "loser."
• Directly ask what verbal humiliation she enjoys, then deliver it.

If it's still unclear, the best approach for sadistic domination is simply asking directly what she's into, then providing it — far better than guessing blindly.

Worth repeating once more: agree on boundaries and a safeword before diving into sadistic domination.

Bondage Domination – Finally, bondage offers another route. Tie her up, physically pin her down, or restrict her movement with clothing or gear.

Fairly straightforward — just discuss the plan beforehand, avoid causing genuine harm, use a safeword, and ensure quick release is possible if anything goes wrong. Medical shears or scissors within reach are essential before starting.

Talking it through matters. Mutual enjoyment of domination requires open discussion about what's working and what isn't.

Struggling with sex-related conversations? Read our guide to better sexual communication.

Domination isn't license to be cruel – One final note on dominating her: this isn't permission to act like a jerk (unless she's explicitly asked for exactly that).

It's fundamentally about fun and mutual enjoyment.

She might also benefit from reading the guide on how to be submissive for more context.

8. Submit To Her

Some women prefer holding the reins themselves. If she (or you) responds better when you're the one submitting, try this approach instead.

With an open mind, submitting sexually doesn't diminish your masculinity in any way — it's simply a kink, nothing more.

My advice here: follow the domination tips above, just reversed. She might find value in reading them too.

That said, she'll get far more out of my guide on confidently dominating your man. A companion guide for women on how to be submissive exists too, useful for any man exploring submission himself.

9. Explore Her Kinks & Fetishes with Her

Becoming the guy she feels genuinely safe exploring kinks with puts you in a uniquely powerful position — essentially the gateway to her deepest desires. However…

Getting her to actually open up is the hard part.

A relaxed, open-minded partner will share freely, but…

Plenty of people feel real shame or embarrassment about their kinks, fearing judgment for wanting anything beyond vanilla sex.

With that in mind, three steps help her open up about kinks and fetishes:

1) Stay non-judgmental.

She needs total confidence that sharing her darkest desires won't trigger shock — the reaction should match how you'd respond to hearing her favorite food. No judgment, no drama.

"That sounds cool. Have you always gotten off to that?" is exactly the right tone.

Avoid making a big deal or getting overly excited. Treat it casually.

2) Go first

If she seems reluctant, sharing your own kinks first often helps her relax and open up in return.

Presenting your own interests casually, without drama, signals genuine comfort — she'll pick up on that energy.

3) Start slow

Whether sharing kinks verbally or actually acting them out, pace matters enormously.

Excitement might push you toward trying everything immediately, but that risks overwhelming a partner.

Why?

Because plenty of kinks and fetishes are hotter purely as fantasy than in actual practice. The forced-sex fantasy illustrates this perfectly — often best left purely imaginary, or if attempted, requiring firm boundaries and safewords in place.

Instead, ease into the mildest version of her kink first, gauge her reaction, and build from there.

Check out the entire list of kinks and fetishes.

10. BDSM

BDSM is an umbrella term covering:

• Bondage and discipline (BD)
• Dominance and submission (DS), already covered above.
• Sadism and masochism (SM)

Any combination of these can make sex far more exciting…or not.

It all comes down to mutual interest. If you're both genuinely into it…

Fantastic — plenty of territory to explore. The same guidance from the kinks and fetishes section applies here too:

Start Slow.

That might sound frustrating, but it's genuinely the best way to avoid overwhelming each other while ensuring a good time.

Want a deeper dive into BDSM and how to explore it safely? Check out our BDSM guide.

11. Eat Pussy Like A God

Body-shaking, tear-inducing, screaming orgasms come down to mastering oral technique properly.

Really just two core techniques matter here: the Pancake and Vortex.

Learn both in my guide on how to eat a girl out.

And yes, some women genuinely don't enjoy receiving oral. If that's her, treat it as a non-issue and pivot to another technique entirely.

12. Threesomes and Moresomes

Group sex fantasies aren't universal, but plenty of women genuinely have them. If she's not interested, feel free to skip this section — but if she is…

Check out our guide on how to have a threesome.

Much of that advice extends naturally to group sex more broadly.

13. The Boring Secret To Turning Her Into A Nymphomaniac

Every single day, hundreds of emails arrive from men, and the most common question sounds roughly like this:

"Help me, Sean! My wife's sex drive is nonexistent. How do I boost her libido so she wants sex more often?"

They want to know:

• Does a libido-boosting pill exist?
• Is there some magic physical technique?
• Why do flowers and gifts keep failing to work?

All of these questions approach low libido from entirely the wrong angle.

They assume female and male libido should function identically, and that any deviation means something's "wrong" with her libido specifically. They also default to medication as the fix rather than addressing the relationship dynamics and psychological needs that genuinely drive desire for both men and women.

You've probably heard the cheesy line that the brain is a woman's biggest sex organ. It's genuinely accurate.

Let me simplify this as much as possible.

"Brakes" exist that lower her sex drive, and "Accelerators" that raise it [2]. These operate largely on a psychological level, often simultaneously — which is why researchers call it the dual-control model of sexual desire, though technically the terms used are excitement and inhibition systems rather than accelerators and brakes [3].

The technical terminology matters less than genuinely understanding how this Brakes-and-Accelerators dynamic actually plays out.

Brakes that suppress her desire include:

• Stress
• Low self-confidence
• Feeling taken for granted
• Feeling unattractive
• Lack of trust
• The wrong point in her menstrual cycle (her period, essentially).
• Certain medical conditions
• Household responsibilities
• Sex-negative messaging absorbed over time
• Sights, smells, or sensations that turn her off
• Fear of pregnancy or STIs
• Anxiety, depression, or low mood

Accelerators that boost her desire include:

• Feeling deeply desired
• Sexual tension
• Flirting
• A genuinely passionate partner
• A partner who charms her friends (genuinely underrated!)
• Small gestures (flowers, cooking, dishes, putting kids to bed, etc.)
• Feeling secure in the relationship
• Body confidence

Here's the funny part about this dynamic…

No matter how hard you push those Accelerators, her desire stays at zero if the Brakes never get released.

It's like flooring the gas pedal while the car's still in park with the brake engaged.

Here's what that means practically.

Picture her celebrity crush standing right there, expressing genuine desire, BUT…

If she's genuinely stressed, insecure, distrustful of this hypothetical celebrity, and dealing with something like diabetes suppressing libido medically, desire probably still won't materialize.

So boosting her sex drive genuinely requires:

FIRST, releasing the Brakes on her desire, THEN focusing on the Accelerators to build genuine arousal.

More on releasing those Brakes lives in this section of the Bad Boys Bible guide on turning her on.

And pushing the Accelerators hard gets covered in another Bad Boys Bible section on making her horny.

14. Understand Foreplay for Women

Foreplay works somewhat differently for women than it does for men.

Most men are ready the moment:

1. She's visible and registers as attractive/sexy/hot, or
2. She initiates physical contact

A handful of women operate this way too, but not universally.

Instead, most women get turned on mentally — exactly what the Brakes-and-Accelerators framework above describes. Put another way, her arousal comes down to how you make her feel.

So…

Nailing the right foreplay approach for her means checking out this guide on making her feel desired, building sexual tension, and flirting with her.

One final foreplay tip: it can genuinely start hours before you're even together, through sexual tension and flirtation via text and phone calls.

15. Getting Hard, Getting Bigger & Lasting Longer

Countless "penis questions" arrive weekly, nearly all falling into three categories already covered in depth elsewhere. Rather than repeat everything here, here are direct links to each sex tip for men below.

Click the question to see the answer.

• How do I get hard and keep my erection for longer?
• How do I last longer in bed?
• How do I make my penis bigger?

16. Comfortable, Not Confident

"Confidence" gets thrown around constantly regarding sex and satisfying a partner, but it's genuinely not the right framing for what women actually respond to.

Yes, confident men are attractive.

But most men equate confidence with:

• Believing they're inherently "alpha."
• Assuming they're already bedroom experts who never need to improve.
• Taking charge of every situation, always leading.

Nothing wrong with that outright, and some women do find it attractive, but even that small minority tends to grow bored of it fast.

What women genuinely respond to instead is a man comfortable with himself who also makes her feel comfortable.

Specifically:

• Someone unbothered by someone else taking charge, yet comfortable leading too.
• Someone comfortable initiating, yet unfazed by rejection.
• Someone able to laugh off occasional bedroom mishaps — losing an erection, finishing too fast.
• Someone at peace with never having the biggest penis in the room, confident it's not a dealbreaker for pleasing her.

Comfort here isn't about skipping self-improvement or becoming a pushover. It's about genuine self-acceptance and relaxed authenticity — an attitude that oddly proves powerful with women and can genuinely level up your skills:

Seeing your self-acceptance signals to her that you'll extend that same non-judgment toward her too.

17. If You Feel Nervous, Do This

Feeling a little nervous before intimacy with a woman, especially the first time together, is entirely normal.

That said, some men go beyond nervous…

Into genuine terror.

Worrying about:

• Will she think my penis is too small?
• What if I can't get or stay hard?
• What if I finish too fast?
• What if I take forever to finish?
• Will she like my body?
• What if she notices body odor?
• Should pubic hair get shaved or left alone? – How to shave down there.
• What if she doesn't orgasm because of me?

Another twenty questions could easily join this list.

What's genuinely amusing about this mindset: it's entirely self-focused. These guys completely forget the woman they're with exists, rarely judging her half as harshly as they judge themselves.

Could she be nervous too, perhaps?

Might she be worried about her own appearance, or whether her performance measures up?

Of course she is — worrying about looks and performance runs both directions!

Turns out everyone's so consumed with self-judgment during sex that barely anyone actually judges their partner. More importantly, that leaves zero time for…

Actually enjoying the moment!

So next time nerves creep in during sex, remember:

• She'll worry whether you find her attractive enough.
• She'll worry about being too heavy or too thin for your taste.
• She'll worry about her fitness level measuring up.
• She'll worry about failing to make you finish.
• She'll worry about being too loud, or too quiet.
• She'll even worry about wearing the "right" lingerie.
• She'll worry about struggling to get wet (yes, intense arousal doesn't always guarantee physical wetness).

Oh, and plenty of women actually find it hot when you finish quickly occasionally — not every time, just sometimes. It reads as you being genuinely unable to control yourself around her. That's a genuinely useful piece of advice!

One last thing…

Know what's a massive turnoff, even without a Brad Pitt physique and a mythical 13-inch penis (which, for the record, doesn't exist)?

Making a huge deal out of perceived shortcomings.

Nobody expects a sexual god, but apologizing or getting defensive about self-perceived flaws genuinely kills the mood.

Why not channel that energy into actually improving in bed and blowing her mind, rather than spiraling about yourself?!

18. Give Her the Most Powerful Orgasms of Her Life

Obviously, becoming her best ever means delivering the most powerful orgasms of her life.

I'm talking leg-shaking, squirting, uncontrollable laughing-or-crying orgasms. Genuinely — some women laugh or cry during sufficiently intense orgasms, completely losing bodily control.

Detailed, illustrated guides already exist on eating pussy like a god, making her squirt, fingering her, and giving her the deepest orgasms of her life.

Check those out if screaming your name and genuinely better sex sounds appealing. They're all part of the Bad Boys Bible section of the site.

19. Sex Toys Are Tools

Bottom line on sex toys: they can be genuinely great, but they're tools meant to enhance sex, not replace a partner entirely.

Some guys feel insecure introducing toys into the bedroom — think of it like reaching for a screwdriver or drill to assemble furniture. Both are tools; one just makes the job easier, freeing you to focus on what matters more.

Sex toys function similarly.

The key is preventing toys from creating disconnection during sex. Treat them as part of the shared intimate experience, not a substitute for it.

With that framing, here are favorite toys and techniques for maximizing their value.

Vibrators

Countless vibrator varieties exist. Here are the standouts.

Wearable couple's vibrators – Think We-Vibe or LELO Tiani, shaped like a "U." One end inserts vaginally while the other wraps around her clit — designed specifically for use during penetrative sex.

Perfect if she struggles to orgasm during sex and needs extra clitoral or G Spot stimulation, or both simultaneously. They can also add a sense of fullness if size isn't your strongest feature.

Air pulse toys – Also called suction vibrators, a newer category. A small opening positions over her clit, delivering gentle, rhythmic suction — some vibrate too.

Essentially a mechanical version of my Vortex technique.

These clitoral suction toys stand out for feeling genuinely distinct from standard vibrators, which won't appeal to everyone.

Using one on her is an option, but letting her take the lead often works better, letting her position the suction precisely for maximum effect.

Classic vibrators – Sometimes penis-shaped, vibrating similarly to an electric toothbrush. Direct clitoral contact is possible, though the intensity can tip into painful territory for some — starting with circling motions around the clit, or grazing the labia indirectly, often works better. Great for internal stimulation too, of course!

Remote Control Vibrators – Plenty of toys now offer remote control, via dedicated remote or smartphone app. The appeal lies in the control dynamic — potentially leading to some thrilling (or delightfully embarrassing) moments if she's wearing one out in public with you holding the controls.

Keep in mind the technology's still maturing — connectivity and responsiveness issues are fairly common, and plenty of these toys run too small or weak to reliably deliver orgasm on their own. Still, a genuinely great foreplay tool!

Rabbit Vibrators – Insertable toys featuring separate "bunny ears" (or similar attachments) for clitoral stimulation. The insertable portion often includes internal mechanisms stimulating the full vaginal canal, even without active thrusting.

Clitoral Vibrators – Beyond air pulse designs, plenty of dedicated clitoral vibrators exist too, some body-contoured, many small enough for use during penetration itself.

Alternatively, a powerful wand massager like the Magic Wand Original delivers serious intensity — wands typically plug in for maximum power.

A final vibrator note – Men often default to a flesh-toned, penis-shaped vibrator as the "obvious" choice for their partner. Often a mistake.

Consider her actual preference instead — frequently something neutral or abstractly shaped.

As always, the top piece of advice: talk to her directly and find out her genuine preference.

Check out my Vibrator Guide for far more depth on using vibrators to improve sex.

Dildos

Why include dildos in a men's sex guide? Because they're a genuinely powerful tool at your disposal, and taking pressure off your own performance can actually improve things!

Some men feel genuinely insecure at the idea of a partner using one.

"She clearly doesn't like my penis. Guess I'm inadequate!"

Nope — that's not it at all.

Women enjoy dildos for plenty of reasons:

• Total control over speed and depth appeals to her.
• Sometimes masturbation is simply the goal, with zero interest in another partner.
• Feeling horny with you unavailable in the moment.
• Wanting to try double penetration together without inviting a third person.
• A small percentage genuinely prefer more size than a partner offers, without wanting anyone else involved — essentially the female equivalent of a guy buying a pocket pussy, when you think about it.

Regardless, no hard rules exist for choosing a dildo together beyond honest conversation.

Dildos also work great for pegging and anal stimulation, worth noting.

For more, check my in-depth, illustrated guide on how to use a dildo.

20. Anal & Other Butt Stuff

Some women love anal, others simply don't.

If she's a fan, great! Check out my anal sex guide here, along with tips on how she can prepare for anal for the best possible experience.

Certain anal sex positions also outperform others in enjoyment.

That said, building toward anal sex through foreplay first matters enormously. Eating her ass or anally fingering her are excellent additions to that warmup arsenal. Dedicated guides exist too on using a butt plug and anal beads to heighten pleasure further — usable on yourself too, naturally.

Interested in prostate orgasms together? Check out my prostate milking guide.

And whatever form anal takes, lube is non-negotiable.

Speaking of lube…

21. Lube Her Up

One of the most essential tips here: use lube.

Really just 3 core facts matter about lube.

1. Even a genuinely aroused, desperate woman can struggle physically to get wet. Medication, cycle timing, or simple stress can all interfere. No need to stress about it — just reach for lube.

2. Oil-based lube can genuinely damage a standard latex condom, degrading and potentially breaking it, risking infection or pregnancy. Oil also degrades latex toys similarly. Water-based or silicone lube avoids this problem entirely.

3. Lube should feel natural to use. Preferences genuinely vary — some prefer slicker formulas, others thicker ones. Sticky texture, though, is generally undesirable across the board. Unfortunately, some water-based lubes turn sticky as they dry, so some trial and error may be needed to land on the ideal choice together.

Check out our in-depth guide to lube, covering which types to use and how to use them to improve sex for both of you.

22. Roleplaying With Your Girl

This particular technique centers entirely on pretend play. By "roleplay," I mean things like:

• Consensual nonconsent (forced-sex) roleplay
• Playing a corrupt cop arresting an "innocent" woman.
• Being her "toyboy"
• Her playing your sexy secretary.
• Etc.

Not talking World of Warcraft or Dungeons & Dragons here!

Playing out scenarios together can be genuinely hot — or genuinely awkward.

One golden rule governs bedroom roleplay:

It works best when both partners genuinely believe in, and commit to, their character.

It feels awkward the moment either partner doesn't fully buy in. Think of someone unconvincingly claiming, "I'd consider myself confident," while their voice trembles and eye contact fails. The disconnect is obvious and uncomfortable.

Psychologists would call this a lack of congruency.

So if she's only naturally submissive during sex, playing a commanding cop or warden will likely feel forced, but…

Playing a submissive role — a prisoner, an "innocent" character — will feel far more natural and easy to embody.

This applies equally to you.

So figure out together which roleplay styles genuinely align with your natural tendencies and lean into that.

This same genuineness and congruency extends directly into dirty talk too…

23. Talking Dirty

Really just 2 core things matter about talking dirty.

1. Just like roleplay, genuine belief in what you're saying matters enormously.

Telling her, "You've got the biggest breasts I've ever seen," rings hollow if she's genuinely flat-chested.

She'll immediately clock the insincerity, which turns her off far more than it turns her on — and a turned-off partner is genuinely hard to please.

Equally, claiming "This is the best sex of my life" while lying there silently, barely breathing, avoiding eye contact, is entirely unconvincing.

Genuine congruence between words and actions matters instead.

Uncomfortable with explicit language? Skip it entirely. "I love your body" can land far more powerfully than "God-fucking-damn, I want to cum all over your fucking body, it's making me so horny" if the gentler phrasing actually matches your personality.

1. The problem with scripted "lines"

Emails constantly ask for specific "lines" to use during dirty talk.

Wrong approach entirely. Trying to recall scripted phrases yanks you out of the moment, killing the vibe for both of you.

Instead, tune into your actual mindset in that specific moment.

Maybe you're feeling dominant or submissive, loving or slightly aggressive, excited or relaxed, and so on.

So…

Genuinely horny all day leading up to sex? Tap directly into that during sex — naturally landing on lines like "I've wanted this all day" or "You've been making me so horny lately" or "Fuck, your pussy feels better than I imagined."

But…

Feeling more aggressive and dominant instead? Ride that mindset — naturally producing lines like:

• "You like that, don't you?"
• "Beg for my cum"
• "I love how submissive you are."
• "Give me that pussy"
• "Don't make me hurt you."
• "I want to feel you cum on my cock"

Or perhaps feeling especially loving and tender, leading naturally toward:

• "I love you so much."
• "You mean so much to me."
• "You feel so good."

None of this is a mandatory script — just illustrations of what genuine mindset-driven dirty talk might sound like.

The real point: tune into your actual in-the-moment feelings. What's your genuine mindset?

• Intense love?
• Dominant or submissive energy?
• Aggression?
• Uncontrollable lust?
• Some blend of these?
• Something else entirely?

Tapping into that authentic mindset keeps you present, produces language that lands as genuine for her, and reduces overthinking so you can stay focused on the act itself.

24. Edge Her

Edging involves bringing her right to the brink of orgasm, then pulling back stimulation before she climaxes, then building her toward that peak again.

Repeat this cycle as many times as desired before finally letting her finish.

Sounds counterproductive on paper, admittedly, but…

It sustains an incredibly heightened state of arousal for longer and…

Delivers a far more powerful orgasm once release finally happens.

Genuinely worthwhile skill for anyone aiming to excel in bed.

Edging works on you too, worth trying if she's willing to reciprocate.

An entire guide on how to edge your partner exists for more depth here.

25. Give Her G Spot Orgasms

Not everyone experiences G Spot orgasms, but plenty who do report them as generally more intense than clitoral orgasms — making this a genuinely valuable technique to master. These orgasms radiate throughout her entire body rather than staying localized. Multiple G Spot orgasms within a single session are entirely possible too!

So she may love them… and you may love delivering them 😉

Genuinely a win-win technique!

Delivering a G Spot orgasm starts with locating her G Spot, which requires some genuine finesse.

Locating it reliably requires thorough arousal first — it literally swells when she's turned on [4], becoming more pronounced and findable. So prioritize whatever foreplay she responds to best before searching.

Learn how to turn her on and make her horny.

Physically, it sits roughly 4.5cm inside on the front vaginal wall (the side closest to her belly) [5], easily reachable by fingers or most penises.

Texture-wise, imagine the roof of your mouth, but softer — a subtly dimpled surface, gentle to the touch.

Once located, begin fingering her or try some G Spot sex positions for direct stimulation.

Can't locate it right away? No stress — try again another night and shift focus elsewhere for now. Great bedroom instincts sometimes mean knowing when to pause, especially if she's growing frustrated or impatient.

26. Finger Her

A dedicated guide already exists on how to finger your girl for screaming, shaking, crying orgasms. Check it out to supercharge fingering skills and foreplay technique alike.

27. Talking and Opening Up To Each Other aka Sexual Communication

Talking about sex with a partner can genuinely feel awkward or difficult sometimes. Doesn't sound thrilling on paper either, but…

It's genuinely the single most important thing for improving your sex life, revealing exactly what's working, what isn't, and what changes she'd genuinely welcome.

What about reading her body, breathing, and "sex sounds" instead? – Honestly a reasonable starting point, but sounds and movements (or their absence) can be faked entirely, and pain can easily be mistaken for pleasure.

A better strategy combines watching those cues with direct conversation about what she genuinely enjoys or doesn't.

That combination paints a far clearer picture of what she wants and how to perform better.

Start with a compliment – Kick off any sex-related conversation on a positive note. Mention something specific she does that you genuinely enjoy, then ask if there's anything she'd like more of from you.

Start small – Opening up together for the first time might tempt you to unload every fantasy, fetish, and kink at once. Generally a poor idea — getting hit with everything simultaneously can feel overwhelming.

A gentler approach: share something small first, gauge her reaction, and build from there. Positive, excited reactions mean keep sharing; hesitation means holding back until next time.

She might feel awkward sharing too – Discomfort sharing deep, dark fantasies isn't exclusive to you, especially if past judgment left its mark. She likely feels exactly the same vulnerability.

Prioritize her comfort over pushing for disclosure — genuine comfort naturally leads to more openness over time anyway.

She may NOT want to act out her fantasies – Plenty of men and women hold fantasies they never actually want realized. Genuinely, hardly anyone with a consensual non-consent fantasy (a rape fantasy, essentially) actually wants that experienced for real.

She might share things that initially surprise you, but that doesn't mean genuine desire to act them out follows.

The Go First principle – Worth repeating from elsewhere on the site: the Go First principle.

Here's the mechanism:

Sharing something personal naturally triggers reciprocal sharing in return.

So complimenting something she does during sex naturally invites a compliment back about you. The same dynamic applies to sharing fantasies. Use that dynamic deliberately to improve your own bedroom skills.

Trust Her – Emails regularly arrive from men convinced their partner is lying to them.

• "She told me she doesn't like me going down on her. WTF! Who doesn't like oral sex??!?!?!"
• "Her dildo is bigger than me, which makes me think she is a size queen, but she says she's not. How can I tell for sure?"
• "She told me about her fantasy. Her fantasy is having sex in front of a fire. Really? That's her fantasy? I think she's holding back and, she's afraid to tell me her real fantasy because it's actually far dirtier. How can I make her front up and tell me the truth?

Here's my answer to these questions:

• Yes, some women genuinely dislike oral (sometimes self-consciousness prevents them from enjoying it).
• Maybe she is a size queen — or maybe she just bought the wrong size, grabbed the cheapest option, or took whatever was available. Impossible to say for certain.
• Plenty of emails arrive from female readers about fantasies, and these seemingly "vanilla" ones make up the vast majority.

The underlying point: trust what she's telling you at face value, rather than assuming a hidden agenda. If she says you're good in bed, believe her.

For more on communicating and sharing openly, read the guide on sexual communication.

If none of this applies to your situation, move on to the next section of this guide.

28. Naked Male Aggression

What I call Naked Male Aggression means tapping into your rawest instincts, both during sex and leading up to it, to genuinely improve your bedroom game.

To be crystal clear, this isn't license to be cruel, hurt her, or dismiss her wants and needs.

It's about channeling caveman-era instinct — no suits, no morning commute, no office politics about dress code. Pure instinct, zero pretense.

Here's the practical version.

Next time genuine desire strikes, grab your partner and kiss her with real passion. Skip checking in first, skip announcing your arousal — just act on it and show her directly. If she responds well, lead her straight to the bedroom.

Obviously this won't land well if she's deep in focus or genuinely stressed. But if she's relaxed, or even better, a little bored, this tends to work remarkably well.

A few more examples:

1. Next time you're having sex, take control. This differs slightly from dominating her — this is control claimed for your own pleasure and maximum enjoyment, not about her submission specifically. Position her how you want. Move at whatever pace feels right for you. Finish exactly how and where you choose. Closely related to the selfishness point covered earlier.

2. Get physical. In the kitchen? Lift her onto the counter. Carry her to the bedroom. Physically assert control, reminding her of your strength. Then follow through.

3. Moan, groan, grunt, say whatever feels genuine in the moment. Faking it tends to be obvious. Tips on how to moan.

Naked Female Aggression – Women can tap the same raw instincts too. Unleashing her inner cavewoman makes for genuinely great sex. The most reliable trigger is displaying your own Naked Male Aggression first — it has a way of drawing hers out in response. The other trigger: a small amount of alcohol. Just a touch, not excessive.

Disclaimer: Genuinely wish these disclaimers weren't necessary, but some men need it spelled out. Unleashing Naked Male Aggression is never about hurting her, scaring her, ignoring consent, or being cruel. Basic decency still applies throughout.

29. What Makes You Horny

Genuinely better sex requires understanding your own arousal triggers and mood requirements too. Plenty of the same factors boosting her libido apply equally to you:

• Low stress levels
• Adequate sleep
• Solid diet
• Physical fitness — regular exercise
• Genuine sexual tension

The specific triggers that arouse you are ultimately unique to you. Everything from her perfume to her outfit to the sound of her laugh could be involved. And naturally, your own kinks factor in too.

Once these personal triggers and accelerators are clear, focus on amplifying them deliberately.

Smart move: sharing these triggers directly with her too.

Worth remembering:

Understanding your own arousal, and making sure she knows about it, is genuinely YOUR responsibility. Dropping vague hints and hoping she figures it out solo is a mistake. Direct communication works far better.

That said…

This doesn't mean dumping everything at once, catching her off guard. Instead, wait for a natural moment already centered on sex, then share one specific thing that genuinely drives you wild. Positive engagement means elaborating further with a couple more turn-ons.

Then let it rest until the topic naturally resurfaces.

Over weeks and months, the full picture eventually gets shared, giving her everything she needs to use these triggers on you too!

30. Habits & Routines

Conventional wisdom warns that routine kills spontaneity and excitement — genuinely true, but…

The opposite extreme might actually be worse. Constant novelty is exhausting.

Chasing new techniques every single session isn't as fun as it sounds — like taking a vacation weekly. Annoying, and impossible to ever settle into a rhythm.

Keep this balance in mind for your sex life:

Insisting on new positions every single time means never revisiting the ones you both genuinely love most.

So striking a balance matters. Keep a mental list of shared favorites, continue improving skills generally, but introduce novelty periodically too. Here's a resource list to help:

• 119 sex positions with demonstrations
• 25 orgasm techniques to use on your girl
• 23 kinky sex techniques she can use on you
• Learn how to eat pussy like a god
• How to make a girl squirt
• 15 fingering techniques & tips
• In-depth blow job guide for your girl
• The anal sex guide

Beyond this guide itself, all these pages offer additional tips for genuinely better bedroom performance.

31. Now What?

This guide probably felt like an overwhelming wall of text! Here's the practical next step.

Skim back through it once more.

Scan it, bookmark it.

Pick out one, two, or at most three pieces of advice that genuinely resonate. Put that into practice in your actual sex life.

Once those feel natural, return and layer in a few more techniques.

Avoid trying to implement everything simultaneously — that approach won't actually make you better in bed.

And…

Got advice of your own for helping other men improve in bed? Share it in the comments section below!

January 23, 2021