How To Make A Girl Cum: 25 Techniques For Intense Orgasms

This guide walks through 25 powerful ways to help your girl reach an intense orgasm. Earlier guides already…

Covered specific moves in depth, like how to eat out her pussy, how to make her squirt, and techniques for fingering her. Here, you'll get everything else, including…

• Using sex toys like vibrators and dildos to help her climax.
• Which positions tend to feel best for her.
• Dominance, submission, and rougher sex.

And just like every other guide in this series — if these techniques aren't landing, it's likely because you skipped removing her Brakes on her sex drive so she can get turned on and amplifying the accelerators to her sex drive to make her crazy horny.

A Quick Anatomy Refresh

Before diving in, you need a solid grasp of her sexual anatomy if you want to help her climax. Below are two labeled diagrams, but for a deeper dive, check out the guide to her anatomy inside the Pussy Eating Guide.

Short on time? Just look at the images of her external anatomy — her vulva, including the labia, clitoris, and vaginal opening — and…

Her internal anatomy, where you'll spot her G-spot and A-spot…

Now let's get into the techniques that will give your girl some of the most intense orgasms of her life.

1. The Grind

A recent survey found that only 18.4% of women reach orgasm from vaginal penetration alone [1]. Nearly double that figure — 36.6% — need clitoral stimulation, and plenty of women prefer it over penetration alone [1]. That may explain why women orgasm only about 65% of the time during sex [2].

The clitoris is clearly central to her sexual response [3], so if you're serious about learning how to make a woman come, this is where to focus. Here's how to maximize clitoral stimulation during sex itself.

You'll use a position called the Coital Alignment Technique, which keeps you grinding directly against her clit instead of thrusting in and out. Stay as deep as possible while maintaining constant pressure on her clit as you rock upward and downward.

Kinsey research found that 37% of women who tried the Coital Alignment Technique saw a substantial jump in their ability to orgasm [4]. Worth a shot, right?

Your positioning inside her will resemble the demonstration above — at times, your penis may even point almost straight down toward the bed.

Here's what the Coital Alignment Technique looks like:

Straight up-and-down grinding can get repetitive, so mix in side-to-side and circular motions too.

2. The Vulcan

This technique only works in girl-on-top positions like Cowgirl or Man Missionary. Start with your girl on top, as shown above. Slide your hand down the center of your stomach, palm flat against your belly. Once you reach your penis, spread your fingers into a "V," Vulcan-salute style, as pictured.

Your ring and pinky fingers sit on one side of your penis, index and middle on the other. As you press that V down, your knuckles should land almost directly on her clit, fingers resting against her labia. Since knuckles are hard, this can create some intense grinding once she starts pressing her weight down into them.

Some women find knuckles too firm — if so, shift your hand slightly so she's grinding against a softer part of it instead.

It's a remarkably simple way to give her a clitoral orgasm during intercourse.

Just watch out for too much pressure — check in with her on what's actually working.

Or, skip the hand entirely and hold a vibrator against her clit for faster results.

3. Hitting Her G Spot During Sex

I've already covered G-spot stimulation extensively for fingering and squirting — but what about hitting it during sex itself?

As you'd expect, it's all about your angle of penetration. Looking at the demonstration above, deeper isn't necessarily better here — the G-spot sits only a couple inches inside the vagina. That also means you don't need an especially long penis to reach it; fingers work just as well.

Instead, stay a bit shallower and let your penis brush past her G-spot with every thrust.

If she wants more intensity, simply increase your angle of penetration. The demonstration below shows an exaggerated angle — probably impractical and possibly uncomfortable for her — just to illustrate how much the angle can vary for proper G-spot contact.

Which angle works best really comes down to the sex position you're using.

Ultimately, talking to her and getting direct feedback is the only way to know for sure what she prefers.

4. Sex Positions To Stimulate Her G Spot

Certain positions naturally hit her G-spot better than others, and I've already broken down which ones work best — click the arrows below to explore them.

Viennese Oyster Sex PositionAcrobat Sex Position

You can tweak any of these positions for stronger G-spot contact and higher odds of orgasm by tucking a pillow under your or her hips.

And if you've got a favorite position that isn't listed on the site, drop it in the comments below.

5. Her A-Spot

Some women need heavier stimulation at their A-Spot (also called the Deep Spot, or the anterior fornix erogenous zone/AFE). It sits on the same anterior vaginal wall as the G-spot, just deeper in. You can see its location above.

Read More: What is the A Spot and How Can It Make Your Sex Life Better?

The positions for hitting her A-Spot largely overlap with G-spot positions, except you'll need to thrust deeper. Here's a list of 8 G Spot/A Spot positions to help make her come.

6. Faucets & Shower Heads

Running water over the outside of her vagina — from a faucet or, more practically, a shower head — is a surprisingly effective technique. Your girl might already use this for solo masturbation.

I'd genuinely recommend she learn to orgasm through masturbation first — it makes things far easier when you're doing it together.

Related: How To Masturbate (For Women) in 7 Steps

Just hop in the shower together. While washing her, direct the showerhead's spray over her body, gradually working toward her vagina and clit.

Simple as that.

If your showerhead has a pulse setting, try switching it on — though pulsing water might not feel great for her, particularly with strong water pressure.

As always, her feedback tells you what's actually working.

7. Edging

Edging is a fantastic way to intensify her orgasms, but it demands restraint on your part along with a good read on when she's approaching climax.

What is edging? – Edging means bringing her right up to the edge of orgasm, then backing off the stimulation before she tips over, so she doesn't finish yet. After a brief pause, once she's cooled slightly, you build her back up to the brink again — then ease off once more.

Repeat this cycle two, three, four times or more before finally letting her go all the way. The eventual orgasm ends up far more intense than a standard one. Repeat as many times as you like — just make sure you eventually let her finish.

It might sound frustrating on paper, but done well, it can produce some of the most powerful orgasms of her life.

You can edge her when you are eating her out, while fingering her, or even while working to make her squirt. And she can absolutely turn the tables and try this on you too. 😉

Learn more about edging.

8. Vibrator On Her Clit

Using a vibrator on her clit works similarly to using a fingertip (as I explained here). A few things worth trying with the vibrator on her clit…

• Press the tip against one particular side of her clit.
• Glide it back and forth across her clit.
• Circle it slowly or rapidly around her clit.

Every woman has her own preferred technique — some just want it held steady in one spot. Experiment across a range of methods to find her favorites.

Clitoral Hood – As mentioned before, some women have an especially sensitive clit, so you may need to use the clitoral hood as a buffer.

If that's her, avoid direct contact — press the vibrator against the hood instead of the clit itself.

For extra-sensitive women, you might get better results running the vibrator over her underwear or even pants.

9. Maximum Coverage

Stimulating the entire outer area of her vagina at once naturally makes orgasm easier to reach — helpful if she typically struggles to get there.

Just press the vibrator against her vagina as shown above, tip positioned just beneath her clit. This puts the vibrator in contact with her labia, U-spot, and clit simultaneously (though it does make penetration with your penis or another toy trickier). You don't actually need to penetrate her with the vibrator itself.

10. Use Her Vibrator For Better Sex

Vibrators aren't limited to foreplay — bring hers into actual sex too, especially if she has trouble climaxing that way. You can control it yourself, but handing it over to her is usually smarter, since she knows exactly what stimulation she needs.

Using a vibrator during sex works best in positions where she can reach her clit freely without your bodies blocking access. Doggy, Spooning, or even Cowgirl (leaning back) all work well. Missionary or the Coital Alignment Technique, on the other hand, make it nearly impossible to fit a vibrator in comfortably.

Bullet vibrators and smaller clitoral toys are great when you need something less bulky. You could also try a cock ring with a built-in vibrating attachment for clitoral stimulation. Some brands even design vibrators specifically to be worn during sex, wrapping around the pubic bone to stimulate her both internally and externally — letting her climax with your penis inside her right alongside the toy.

One last note on vibrators, whether during foreplay or sex: don't be intimidated by them or resentful that a toy is in the mix. It's not a verdict on your adequacy — it's simply another route to her orgasm. No toy will ever replicate the emotional connection you bring.

11. Dildos, Dildos, Dildos

Are dildos basically interchangeable with your penis, doing everything it does?

Not quite. On both fronts.

There's actually more and less you can do with one, and I'll explain why. We'll start with some tamer dildo basics before getting to the more adventurous stuff 😉

First, pick the right one. Too big and it's painful for her; too small and she won't feel much. If she's happy with your size, aim for something similar — and if she's not, check out these tips for making your penis bigger.

Next, get the firmness right. Glass or hard plastic works for many, but some women find it too rigid; a too-soft dildo, on the other hand, bends and flexes more than it should. There's also texture and appearance to consider — realistic-looking or novelty-shaped, smooth or textured?

As always, the real answer is talking to her to figure out what will actually get her off.

The Importance of Lube

Before going further, let's talk about lube. Plenty of people skip it during sex or with toys, assuming they shouldn't need it — she might even feel a little insulted by the suggestion if she's turned on and wet. Here's the reality, though:

Lube makes sex feel better for everyone involved.

Penetration goes smoother.

You both last longer without discomfort.

You can safely try larger toys. And lube helps prevent microtears in her vaginal tissue that raise infection risk.

You might be surprised to learn that 30% of women experience pain during sex [5]. And often, when women describe good sex, they're talking about the absence of pain rather than pleasure or orgasm specifically [6 p 81].

Ouch.

To be clear: wanting lube isn't a sign she's not turned on. Natural lubrication varies a lot from person to person, and it's nearly impossible to use too much lube.

If she's consistently dry, you may need to do more to turn her on first.

Lube is non-negotiable for anal sex or anal toy play, since the anus produces no natural lubrication at all.

Reaching for lube makes her more comfortable, which directly improves your odds of giving her an orgasm. Grab the bottle right alongside the toy or condom.

Read More: What Is Lube And Should You Use It?

Now, onto ways to use a dildo for her pleasure…

12. G Spot Focus

Angling the dildo to hit her G-spot on every stroke is the most obvious dildo move, and it's a great starting point. A dildo with a curve or contoured tip is especially good for targeted "G-spotting."

You can amplify G-spot pressure by placing a hand on her lower stomach and pressing down gently — just ease into it and watch for her feedback, since some women dislike or feel self-conscious about stomach touch.

The right angle and pressure vary by partner, so feedback matters here too. Experiment with faster and slower strokes — generally, faster provides more stimulation. If she needs intense G-spot pressure, a rigid glass or metal dildo might be exactly what does the trick.

Don't assume you need a harder erection just because she likes a glass toy — she'll still want your cock too.

13. Slide In Towards Her A Spot

There's another way to work her G-spot with a dildo beyond simple in-and-out motion.

Reaching the A-spot usually calls for a longer toy than she'd normally use.

While thrusting, focus on dragging the upper edge of the dildo across her G-spot by adjusting the angle as shown above — it should feel more like you're "milking" her G-spot toward climax.

A word of caution on the A-spot: since it sits deeper in the vagina than the G-spot, stimulating it can bump into her cervix, which isn't comfortable for everyone. The vagina ends at a narrow neck — the cervix — separating it from the uterus.

Many women dislike cervical contact, especially anything rough or vigorous. Be careful to steer clear of her cervix or keep motions gentle when working her A-spot.

14. Posterior Wall Fun

Alternatively, target the opposite side of her vagina from the G-spot. The same dragging motion across the tip with every stroke applies here too.

15. 'Juicing'

There's an entire category of dildos called "juicers." They come with a crank you turn once inserted. Most dildos can handle this motion as long as there's no sharp angle that would cause discomfort.

Before twisting it in, make sure you're using plenty of lube to avoid excess friction in one spot. It's equally important to start slow if it's her first time, and to check in on what she is (or isn't) enjoying.

Juicing tends to be a love-it-or-hate-it technique among women.

By the way, don't forget to get her super horny before penetration — it'll make everything that follows more enjoyable and easier to orgasm from.

16. Filling Feeling

Thrusting, dragging, and twisting the dildo are all valid, but constant motion isn't mandatory. You can also thrust deep and simply hold it there, then shift your attention to her clit or elsewhere on her body.

Want more dildo ideas? Check out these tips for wielding a dildo (written with female readers in mind, but every bit of it applies to men too).

17. Anal Penetration With A Dildo

Anal penetration with a dildo is also on the table, and it can be a great way to warm her up ahead of anal sex.

That said, it doesn't have to lead anywhere — it can simply be foreplay on its own.

Note: Make sure your dildo has a flared base before inserting it anally, or you risk losing it inside her.

Lube is essential for anything anal, since the anus doesn't self-lubricate the way the vagina does.

If you've got a free hand, you can finger her or work her clit at the same time as the anal dildo play.

18. Butt Plugs & Dildos

If your partner is curious about double penetration but bringing another guy into the mix isn't your thing, a dildo or butt plug is the ideal middle ground. There's a range of combinations to try:

• Vaginal penetration from you while a dildo works her anally.
• Or the reverse — anal sex while a dildo penetrates her vaginally.
• Regular vaginal sex while she wears a butt plug.
• Two dildos — one in her ass (flared base, remember!), one in her vagina.
• Two men — one in her ass, one in her vagina.

There are also toys built with multiple penetration points for simultaneous vaginal and anal stimulation (some even add clitoral contact). Certain curved vibrators work for this too.

Double penetration is more advanced, so you'll likely want to build up to it once she's already comfortable with the earlier techniques for orgasm during sex.

Note: After anal penetration, never go straight into vaginal penetration. Doing so risks transferring fecal matter into her vagina and causing infection — clean thoroughly first.

19. Using Other Sex Toys

Dildos, butt plugs, and vibrators barely scratch the surface of what's out there. The universe of sex toys is nearly endless, but here are a few ideas to spark your imagination about what's possible.

Anal Beads

Anal beads work like a chain of small butt plugs strung together. You insert them, then pull them out. For some women, insertion alone does the trick; others prefer the sensation of them being pulled out right at the point of orgasm. Find out more in the Anal Bead Guide.

Cock Rings

Cock rings come in plenty of varieties — circular devices worn at the base of the penis to help maintain an erection, sometimes with a vibrating attachment for her pleasure. Stick to a stretchy ring so it doesn't get stuck and cause injury. More details in this post about cock rings.

Restraints

Restraints are a great way to take control and leave your partner powerless (or vice versa, if you flip the roles). More on restraining your partner in this section of the Kinky Sex Guide.

Paddles, Whips & Floggers

Got a bit of a sadistic or masochistic streak? A little physical punishment might be right up your alley. An open-palm swat on the butt works fine, but there's a whole toolkit of implements you could reach for instead 😉

Sex Furniture

If the angles aren't working during sex, consider using a sex wedge or pillow to make the position more pleasurable. A sex swing might also be worth exploring.

Read & Use: 10 pleasurable sex swing positions.

Other Sex Toys

The options go on and on — strap-ons, ben wa balls, nipple clamps, prostate massagers, various lubes, penis pumps, penis extenders, remote-control vibrators, pocket pussies, even sex dolls. If she's game, there's plenty of fun to be had.

20. Dominating her (& Submitting)

Note: Before getting into any dom/sub play, agree on a safe word together first. I cover this in the post that introduces the 8 vital rules for BDSM.

Everyone — women and men alike — tends to enjoy being dominant or submissive depending on the moment. If your girl gets off on being submissive, why not lean into it? Here are a few ways to take the dominant role.

• Take the lead and initiate.
• Direct her in bed.
• Bring restraints into play.
• For more ideas, see the guide on how to be dominant in the bedroom — written for women originally, but it applies just as well to men.

If submission is more your speed, flip the roles and let her call the shots. Check out the guide on how to be submissive for more — again, written with women in mind, but it works both ways.

Keep in mind that dom/sub dynamics exist on a spectrum. It doesn't have to mean whips and chains — plenty of people prefer sensual domination over anything hardcore. It can be as subtle as deciding what position comes next or what she wears to bed.

21. Rough or Loving or Somewhere in Between?

Rough versus loving sex sits on a similar spectrum to dominant versus submissive.

If your girl responds well when you channel a little "caveman" energy, work it into your routine. A few ways to add intensity:

• Pinning her arms above her head.
• Pulling her hair — grip it gently near the scalp; tugging the ends doesn't feel great for her.
• Lightly scratching her shoulders, back, ass, hips, and legs with your nails.
• Talking dirtier and more vocally.

To be clear, rough sex isn't about causing pain — not even close. The focus should always be passion, not harm.

If rough sex isn't your thing or hers, a gentler, more loving style might suit you both better. Here's what that looks like.

• Slow, passionate kissing.
• Whispering how much she means to you.
• Slowing down and holding eye contact with her during sex.
• Leaning on more intimate positions like Spooning or Missionary.

If she clearly responds well to either rough or loving sex, you might feel tempted to default to that style every time.

My advice: deliberately alternate between styles to keep things from going stale.

22. Consistency – Boring But Vital

The whole point here is helping her orgasm hard. But guys frequently trip themselves up right at the finish line and accidentally derail an intense orgasm.

Why?

As someone nears orgasm, their body tenses up and breathing quickens…

That's true for both men and women.

The common mistake at this stage is speeding up or changing rhythm.

Don't do it. She needs consistency right here.

Keep doing exactly what you were doing.

Doesn't matter if you're fingering her, eating her out, using a toy, or having sex — if you want her to orgasm smoothly, hold your rhythm steady as she approaches climax.

Break the rhythm, and you might derail the orgasm entirely.

So rhythm isn't just about making her come — it's about making it easier for her to get there.

23. More Sex Positions

I've put together a massive guide covering over 100 different sex positions. Scroll through a few using the arrows below.

Acrobat Sex PositionPearly Gates Sex Position

My biggest piece of advice on positions: be adventurous and try as many as you reasonably can…

BUT…

Don't stress if some sex positions don't do much for either of you. Just move on to the ones that do.

24. What Does She Want?

The only person who actually knows what your partner wants is…

Your partner!

Like I said at the start, none of these techniques are rigid rules — they're guidelines you need to adapt to your own relationship. The only way to know what's actually working is to talk with her and get direct feedback on what she enjoys and doesn't.

Some women want to orgasm at the same time as you, for example, while others gravitate toward kinkier territory.

Talking about sex can feel awkward, but there's help available — check out this guide to sexual communication for an easier, more comfortable way to bring it up with your partner.

Plenty of women enjoy a given technique,

BUT…

There's always someone else who feels nothing from that exact same move.

Whatever worked with past partners may have trained you into habits your current wife or girlfriend doesn't actually enjoy. Unfortunately, many women just push through because they've internalized the idea that your pleasure matters more than theirs.

Find more advice like this in the Bad Boys Bible guide on how to pleasure a woman.

You might already consider yourself a solid lover — maybe you're not even wrong — but research shows that nearly half of men mistakenly believe their partner orgasmed when she didn't [7].

That's a wild number.

If you've made it this far, you're clearly ready to set aside your ego in service of actually learning how to make a woman orgasm.

That might mean not chasing her orgasm as "the goal" at all — treating orgasm as the finish line can actually create pressure that makes it harder for some women to get there [8].

Sure, giving her an orgasm during sex might make you feel more masculine [9], but understand that not delivering one doesn't make you any less of a man.

So when she offers feedback or asks for something different: just do it. Then enjoy the payoff — her orgasm, which you helped create.

Maybe most important of all: obsessing over your own performance, ego, and "manly man who makes her come" status can actually turn women off. Ironically, that pressure can weaken her orgasms or block them entirely.

Now that you've got the tools to help her orgasm, check out how to last longer in bed next.

25. Show Enthusiasm

One of the biggest pieces of advice I give women trying to please their partners is simple: show enthusiasm. Whatever she's doing, she needs to be present in the moment and let her partner know she genuinely wants to be there. That advice goes both ways, guys.

Don't go down on her purely because you know it'll get her off and you want to check a box. She'll pick up on that instantly — and if she does, it can actually make orgasm harder to reach.

Women are often already self-conscious about how their bodies look, smell, and taste, what they enjoy in bed, and how long it takes them to finish. Don't add to that pile.

Show her you're not just grudgingly going along with oral, her favorite toy, or whatever gets her there.

Do it happily.

With real enthusiasm.

Because when you show up that way, you'll watch her squirm and writhe, hear her moan, and feel her body contract — knowing you've pleasured her like nobody before and given her an orgasm she won't forget.

Bonus: 31 More Sex Tips For Pleasure Your Girl

Seriously — I've compiled an extra 31 sex tips for guys to pleasure their girls. If being the best she's ever had matters to you, it's worth a look.

Resources

There are three activities that make it much easier to make her climax, often referred to as the "Golden Trio."

Check out this video that explains how the female orgasm works.

Want more oral sex techniques for helping her orgasm? Try the book She Comes First.

Katherine Feeney writes about how men have forgotten to have fun as they hyper-focus on giving their partners orgasms — sex is about the journey, not just the destination.

Thrillist published an article by a sex therapist who has taught women how to come, with plenty of takeaways men can apply to learning how to make a girl orgasm.

Frequently Asked Questions

FAQ #1 – Do women cum?

The honest answer is simultaneously "yes," "possibly," and "it depends."

When people say "cum" or "come," they're often just describing the act of orgasm generally, regardless of gender. Nearly everyone is capable of orgasm, though women are statistically more likely to have one when certain conditions line up — genuine desire, solid self-esteem, and open communication about sex, among others [10].

If a partner wants to help her orgasm, starting with clitoral stimulation using the tips above is smart, since many women need or strongly prefer it to climax [1].

Check out these additional clitoral stimulation techniques.

Combining clitoral stimulation with vaginal penetration also boosts her odds of orgasm.

Some people draw a distinction between "cum" and simply "reaching orgasm." If that's you, keep reading into FAQ #2…

FAQ #2 – What is female cum?

Some women expel fluid with or without orgasm, and this is often what people mean by "cum." The overlapping terminology causes a lot of confusion, and the distinction between cumming and squirting/female ejaculation muddies things further. Let's untangle it, since each of these can call for different kinds of stimulation.

Getting wet – Start with basic wetness from arousal. Blood flow increases to the genitals, and plasma and fluid pass through vaginal tissue to produce the wetness associated with arousal [11, 12]. This is occasionally called "cum," though not usually.

Cumming – Female "cum" more commonly refers to a small amount of milky fluid released from the urethra — similar in nature to the fluid produced by the male prostate [13, 14].

Female ejaculation/Squirting – Squirting involves a larger volume of fluid, also released via the urethra. This fluid is stored in the bladder and shares some protein markers with urine [15]. More on female ejaculation. Some women expel this forcefully in a visible stream — the classic "squirting" — while for many others, it simply trickles out.

Female ejaculation typically happens alongside either a clitoral or vaginal orgasm [16] — though some women experience either without orgasm at all. Learn more about squirting orgasms. With some exploration, many women can learn to cum, whatever form that takes for them. Keep in mind that not all women can squirt, and some actively prefer to stop squirting.

Now what?

You're now equipped to give your partner deeply intense orgasms — the kind that might leave her a little emotional or out of control afterward. If you want to expand your toolkit further, check out the guide on how to eat pussy like a champ, the guide on how to finger her, and of course the in-depth tutorial on how to make her squirt.

July 7, 2020