9 Clitoral Stimulation Techniques For Bigger Orgasms

This guide walks you through several clitoral stimulation techniques for rubbing, grinding, and touching your clit — whether you're masturbating solo or with a partner — so you can experience every flavor of intense orgasm. Think of it as a companion piece to my other masturbation guide here.Note To Men: you can use these same techniques to help your partner reach more intense orgasms more often.

Feel free to jump straight to the techniques, but first I want to cover a few essentials that'll help you get the most out of these approaches and experience genuinely eye-rolling, loud orgasms.

Your Environment & Frame Of Mind

This part might feel less exciting, but don't skip it — it matters. Setting up an environment that puts your mind at ease is essential for satisfying orgasms.

That includes things like:

• Keeping your bedroom tidy and fresh.
• Adjusting lighting to whatever feels comfortable — candles, draping a shirt over a lamp to soften it, or just going fully dark.
• Lighting a scented candle, burning incense, or wearing a scent that puts you in the mood.
• Sipping a glass of wine or two to unwind.
• Wearing something that makes you feel sexy, or nothing at all.

You'll find more detailed tips on setting the mood in this section of the Vibrator Guide. You might also want to browse the guide on boosting your sex drive and this article on getting yourself aroused.

Know Yourself First

We'll start with solo masturbation and clit rubbing, then move on to techniques for partnered sex.

Softly On The Side

This first technique couldn't be simpler. Rub the side of your clit with one finger. No need to apply direct pressure right away — instead, rub around the clitoral hood or keep your finger a hair's distance away without full contact.

Start with the lightest pressure, almost like teasing yourself. As arousal builds, gradually increase pressure. Many people can reach orgasm this way alone; if not, just bring your finger closer, making direct contact for stronger stimulation.

2, 3 and 4 Fingers

From there, try using more fingers, or even your whole hand. This naturally intensifies the sensation, with each finger passing over your clit right after the last. Move side to side, or in circles — as always, experiment to find your favorite.

My Most Powerful Clitoral Stimulation Techniques

For fifteen additional hands-only techniques, check out our in-depth masturbation guide, complete with detailed illustrations for each one that'll bring you wave after wave of pleasure. Check it out here.

Now let's move into techniques you can use with a partner.

First, You Need To Get Your Man On Board

All of these clitoral stimulation techniques work great when done correctly, but if your partner isn't in tune with your body, you won't get much benefit from any of them.

That's why it's worth telling him exactly what you need and what gets you off — otherwise he's just guessing. If he's too focused on penetration and thrusting, you may end up with zero clitoral contact and no orgasm, depending on your clit's position and shape [1]. That means no orgasm for you.

If communicating your needs feels difficult, check out our guide on sexual communication.

The Most Important Thing

Pressure is nearly always the deciding factor in how pleasurable clitoral stimulation feels during sex. If your partner isn't applying enough, you won't feel much of anything.

Keep this in mind whenever you switch positions. Looking for new ones to try? You'll find over 100 positions here.

The Grind

The most effective technique overall is what I call The Grind. Essentially, you grind your clit against your partner's body, though there's plenty of room to customize it to your preferences:

The Up & Down – In Missionary, your partner presses the area just above the base of his penis — including his pubic bone — against your clit and grinds it up and down as he thrusts.

Side To Side – A variation involves switching from thrusting to grinding side to side against your clit, staying as deep as possible while moving left to right repeatedly.

Circular – Or he can grind in circles while staying as deep inside you as possible — this also has the bonus effect of stimulating your vaginal walls all around.

I've framed this as your partner doing the grinding, but you can absolutely do it yourself, or both of you can move together. Experiment to see what feels best.

More: Tips and techniques to grind yourself to orgasm.

The Vulcan

This technique shines in girl-on-top positions like Cowgirl or Man Missionary. While you're on top and he's lying beneath you, he runs his hand down the centerline of his stomach, palm flat. Once he reaches his penis, he spreads his fingers into a "V" shape.

His ring and pinky fingers go on one side of his shaft, index and middle on the other. As he presses that V shape against his penis, his knuckles make near-direct contact with your clit, with his fingers pressing your labia. Since knuckles are firm, grinding against them while bearing down your weight can feel intense.

Men: want more tips? Find out how to make her orgasm.

You can also press a hand against your lower stomach to push your G-spot deeper against penetration.

Vibrating Cock Ring

Some people think a vibrating cock ring is somehow "cheating," but most couples just enjoy the extra fun it adds during sex. These rings can shift out of place sometimes, so don't hesitate to readjust as needed.

A Little Self-Help

In positions like Doggy Style or most anal positions (here are 19 anal positions worth trying), your clit gets essentially zero contact. Since most people with a clitoris find clitoral stimulation more pleasurable than vaginal stimulation alone [2], positions like Doggy Style can feel frustrating if that's you.

So if you want any shot at orgasm in these positions, you'll need to take matters into your own hand. Here are three techniques for that:

1. Manual Masturbation – The obvious go-to, with the bonus that you know exactly what works for you. I've put together a full guide on the most satisfying masturbation techniques here.

2. His Hand – Or hand it off to your partner while in a Doggy Style-type position, like these. Consider showing him the Masturbation Guide so he's got plenty of techniques to draw from.

Also, keep giving feedback on what's working and what isn't.

3. Use A Vibrator – Vibrators are NOT cheating. If you struggle to orgasm during sex, one can genuinely help, even if you've never climaxed before [3]. Most vibrators aren't built for penetrative sex, but some models are comfortable to wear and stay put without needing to be held.

There are also vibrators, like the We-Vibe, specifically designed to be worn during sex.

The Right Positions

So far we've covered hand and toy techniques. But plenty of sex positions naturally build in clitoral contact — here are a few.

Coital Alignment Technique

The Coital Alignment Technique, or CAT, is built entirely around clitoral stimulation. It closely resembles Missionary, with a few key adjustments.

Rather than thrusting like in standard Missionary, he stays deep and shifts his body as far forward over you as possible. This angles his penis downward, creating steady contact with your clit.

From there, he grinds up and down. If you need more pressure, grind back against him. Click here for the full Coital Alignment Technique Guide.

The payoff here is more reliable, stronger orgasms [4][5] and even the chance of orgasming together [6]!

Cowgirl

This classic position has him lying on his back while you straddle him, facing forward with a leg on either side.

Bouncing works, but you'll get much more clitoral contact leaning forward, resting on your arms or elbows, and grinding back and forth. How much contact you get depends heavily on both your body shapes. Check out the Cowgirl guide for more.

Thigh Tide

Probably a new one for you. Your back faces your partner, and you straddle just one of his legs.

Hold that leg firmly and pull yourself into it for steady clitoral contact. Find out more about the Thigh Tide position in this guide.

Woman On Top

Similar to Cowgirl but with even more emphasis on clitoral contact. Straddle your partner as you would in Cowgirl, but lean forward, resting your weight on your hands or elbows.

Then grind against him. This one calls for some core strength, so if your abs are strong, you can really press down hard. Click here to learn more about the Woman On Top position.

Drill

The Drill is another Missionary variation built for clitoral contact. You'll be on your back with legs wrapped around your partner, pulling him toward you.

Play around with how high your legs wrap and their exact positioning for maximum contact. Learn more about the Drill position here.

You Know The Best Clitoral Stimulation Techniques

I've given you a wide range of clitoral stimulation techniques to try tonight. But ultimately, only you know what truly works, because everyone's body responds differently. Experiment and see what feels best for you.

And remember, as with all the advice on Love Curi, treat these as a starting point rather than the definitive playbook. Experiment, adapt, and make them your own. Looking for even more ways to pleasure yourself? Check them out in this guide.

February 11, 2018