9 Thrusting Techniques That Make Sex Feel Incredible For Your Partner

These 10 tips break down how to thrust during sex so you can help your girl reach orgasm faster and more consistently. We'll start with the fundamentals before working up to more advanced moves.

1. Vertical (Up-and-Down) Thrusting

Up-and-down thrusting is your baseline move whenever you're stacked vertically on top of one another.

For the giving partner – If you have a penis or you're wearing a strap-on, such as during pegging, this comes down to a simple hip motion, straight up and down.

For the receiving partner – This style of thrusting shows up most often when you're on top, as in Cowgirl or Reverse Cowgirl. The trick is squatting over your partner with your feet planted flat, then using your leg muscles to raise and lower yourself. It helps if your arms can reach the bed beside you, or even the headboard, for extra support.

This move demands a lot of practice, and it may stay out of reach if you're on the shorter side, your partner is smaller than average, you deal with balance or mobility limitations, or either of you is carrying extra weight around the midsection (12 best sex positions for overweight folks). That's exactly why so many women gravitate toward grinding instead (it also just feels amazing) — more on that shortly. In the meantime, tucking a pillow under your partner's hips can raise them enough to make this style of thrusting easier to pull off.

2. Gliding

Unlike the purely vertical motion of up-and-down thrusting, gliding is a smoother, horizontal movement that comes into play whenever you're not stacked straight up and down — including Missionary, given how the vagina is angled in that position.

Gliding for the giving partner – There's usually a touch of vertical movement bookending each glide. Pushing your hips forward tends to tuck your butt in slightly, while pulling backward lifts it a bit.

Gliding for the receiving partner – Whether you're on your knees, feet, or fully reclined, gliding relies heavily on lower-body endurance. The motion itself lives mostly in the hips, though a solid core will make it noticeably easier.

Gliding for the receiving partner (bottom position) – Most of the thrusting a partner on the bottom does is really gliding, as they lift their hips upward to meet their partner's motion.

3. Grinding And Rocking

Grinding on your partner during sex is an old favorite. It's simple to pull off and works wonders for clitoral stimulation. One study even found that 76% of women rely on a grinding or "rocking" technique to make penetration more enjoyable, rubbing against the base of a penis or toy that stays put inside the vagina rather than pulling in and out [1].

Grinding and rocking for the receiving partner – In a position like Cowgirl, your partner can wrap their fingers around the base of their penis so you can grind against them using the Vulcan V technique. Grinding also shines in the Thigh Tide sex position.

Because there's minimal in-and-out motion involved, gliding can also help keep a penis from slipping out if that's been an issue.

You can grind forward and back, side to side, or in circles — experiment until you land on what feels best. One popular trick is spelling "COCONUT" with your hips. It won't be flawless, but it gives you a helpful mental image for moving your hips during sex.

Grinding and rocking for the giving partner – While people usually associate grinding with women, men can do it just as easily. As mentioned, it helps prevent slipping and feels great for both people involved. Try it in Missionary or in positions like Jockey, Prone Bone, or Rear Entry.

4. Angle Of Thrusting

There's more to thrusting than raw speed or power — the angle your bodies form matters enormously. Get it right, and it can feel deeply satisfying, adding a sense of fullness or extra clitoral contact.

Get it wrong, though, and it can feel sharp or uncomfortable, sometimes even risking injury. Nobody wants a penile fracture on their hands.

Switch Positions

Your body — height, build, penis size — all shape the angle, which explains why Missionary can feel completely different from one couple to the next. There's more than one way to adjust your angle, whether that's switching to an entirely different position (over 100 of the best sex positions with pictures) or repositioning your partner's body. Notice how Missionary, the Coital Alignment Technique, and the Drill position are structurally similar yet feel distinct from one another.

Fine-Tune With Small Tweaks

Lying flat, sitting, kneeling, or standing can also shift your angle. Taller partners, for example, might kneel during Missionary rather than resting on their legs or feet. Having one partner stand beside the bed changes the angle compared to both being on it. You can also incorporate other furniture to help you land on the ideal angle.

Find A Middle Ground

It's common for partners to have different angle preferences. As long as you're both willing to meet in the middle, that's not a dealbreaker — especially if a specific angle is what gets one of you to orgasm. That said, neither person's preferences should completely dominate sex if the other isn't enjoying it.

On the topic of dominating: how to take control of your partner in bed during sex.

Use Tightness To Your Advantage

Positions that keep the receiving partner's legs closer together, such as Spooning, can make penetration feel more satisfying when a partner's penis runs on the smaller side.

Dig deeper: Best small penis sex positions and techniques.

With the right positioning, you may not need to thrust as deep, hard, or fast to make an impact.

Aim For The Right Spot

Certain angles are simply better suited to particular kinds of stimulation. Doggy Style, for instance, is well known for G-spot stimulation, while pinning the receiving partner's legs back while on their back, as in the Anvil position, can support deeper stimulation — including the AFE zone (also called the A-spot) or the cervix.

5. Thrusting Speed

Speed — how fast you're actually thrusting — plays a major role. Most people ease in with slower thrusting to warm up. Going too fast too soon risks pain or even tissue damage, and the receiving partner is generally the one at risk of micro-tears from friction.

Once you're properly warmed up, ramping up speed often feels natural. Generally, slower thrusting is linked to more intimate sex or lovemaking, while faster thrusting tends to accompany rougher sex. That said, some couples find fast, rough sex just as intimate as the slow kind.

You might need extra speed to reach orgasm, or you might want to slow things down to avoid finishing too soon.

Check out these tips for lasting longer in bed.

Keep in mind that a lot of partners rely on consistency to climax, so if that applies to yours, don't switch things up mid-act — just keep doing what's already working. Unless, of course, you're deliberately trying to control your partner's orgasm through ruining it or edging them.

Related: What Is Edging & Why You Should Use It Tonight

Outside of that scenario, mixing things up can feel great, especially to give your muscles a breather. Lean on communication and reading your partner's body to guide your choices.

6. Thrusting Power

Beyond speed, there's also the force behind each thrust to think about — essentially, how much power goes into every movement. This can range from:

• Gentle thrusts that lean more intimate
• Hard, rough thrusting that reads as aggressive and intense
• Something in between
• Constantly shifting between the two extremes

Plenty of people find it tricky to separate power from speed. It's natural to thrust harder the moment you pick up the pace, partly because some speed is necessary to generate real force behind a thrust. Still, with conscious effort, you can adjust one somewhat independently of the other.

7. Synchronized Thrusting

Syncing your thrusting with your partner can create a real sense of teamwork, and it may unlock deeper stimulation too. It also means the workload doesn't fall entirely on one person.

The way you sync up depends heavily on the position:

• In Doggy Style, she pushes back as he thrusts forward
• In Missionary, she lifts her hips as he glides in for deeper penetration and possible clitoral contact
• In Cowgirl, she rocks forward and back while he thrusts from below

If you're just getting the hang of syncing your movements, try having the giving partner set the rhythm first, with the receiving partner falling in step. It can be tricky, though, if either of you struggles with rhythm generally.

8. Thrusting Depth

Depth is another variable worth considering.

Let's clear something up right away.

More depth doesn't automatically mean more pleasure.

Most of the vagina's nerve endings sit within the first couple of inches, so deep thrusting isn't always necessary. A shallow thrust at the right angle can hit the G-spot beautifully (as in the G-spot sex position), while missing the mark can leave you unsatisfied or even make it tough for your partner to stay inside. On the flip side, a deep thrust can feel incredibly full and satisfying if it reaches the A-spot... or uncomfortable, particularly if it hits the cervix.

If you tend to prefer shallower thrusting, a bulkier cock ring or a "bumper"/"stopper" style toy can help limit depth.

Just like with angle, ideal depth shifts a lot depending on position. Shallow thrusting might feel better in positions where you're curled up or bent at the waist, while stretched-out positions tend to suit deeper thrusting. This comes down to how your internal organs, especially the cervix, shift depending on your posture.

Why Your Preferences Shift Throughout The Month

Your menstrual cycle can have a real effect here. The cervix typically sits lower during your period, making accidental contact with a toy or penis more likely. Texture changes in the cervix at this time can also make contact more uncomfortable.

Meanwhile, the cervix tends to rise and soften during ovulation, making it both harder to hit and less likely to hurt if it does get touched.

Of course, you're never locked into strictly shallow or strictly deep thrusting. Variety keeps things interesting, and switching between the two works well. Some people swear by the "shallow, shallow, deep" pattern, which is exactly what it sounds like!

9. Building Better Thrusting Skills

If moving your hips smoothly during sex feels awkward even once you understand the mechanics, it might come down to your muscles needing some work.

Since thrusting draws on your core, glutes, and thighs, strengthening these areas can boost your power, flexibility, and endurance.

If you work out regularly, some thrusting-adjacent moves might already be familiar. The glute bridge, for instance, is designed to keep you from overextending, which can otherwise lead to back pain.

The glute bridge – Lie flat on your back with your legs extended. Bend your knees to bring your feet toward your butt and plant them firmly on the floor — they shouldn't move from there.

Squeeze and tighten your glutes and hamstrings to lift your hips and lower back off the ground. Keep squeezing until only your head, shoulders, and feet remain in contact with the floor. Then release slowly back to your starting position.

Adding weights to this exercise can help build strength and improve your thrusting over time — just be sure to progress safely.

10. Pairing Thrusting With Other Techniques

Thrusting is only one piece of the puzzle. Other movements, forms of stimulation, and open communication all shape whether your time together becomes a fantastic memory or a letdown.

A few ideas to layer in:

• Eye contact – Hold your partner's gaze as you thrust into them
• Dirty talk – Make your partner ache for it by pulling back or hovering right at their entrance, asking if they "want this" before continuing. We've got plenty of dirty talk ideas to draw from.
• Bondage – Keep someone from pulling you in or pushing you away by tying them up — always with clear, prior consent. Learn how to talk through consent in our guide to BDSM contracts.
• Domination/submission – Withhold the exact thrusting style your partner craves as a form of punishment.
• Tantra – Build a rhythm that links thrusting with breathing. Learn about tantric masturbation and how to have tantric sex

Talking openly about your sexual wants and needs, and giving your partner room to do the same, is essential to genuinely enjoyable sex.

Some of the techniques and tips in this guide simply won't click for everyone, and that's completely fine. What matters most is finding what actually works for you and your partner, not rigidly following every single tip here.

Armed with these thrusting tips, you're well positioned to level up in the bedroom. And now that you have a real understanding of how to thrust during sex, you can even practice moving your hips ahead of time to loosen up and feel more at ease when the moment arrives.

October 17, 2024