Prostate Massage 101: How To Give Multiple, Full-Body Orgasms!

Want to give your man the most intense orgasms of his life, multiple orgasms potentially included? Has he mentioned interest in prostate massage, whether for pleasure or health? You're in exactly the right place. Everything worth knowing about prostate play is covered here.

Know Your Terminology

Guides on prostate massage often use "prostate milking" interchangeably. Generally, both phrases mean the same thing, and regardless of which term you prefer, it's a genuinely great way to bring pleasure to your man. Both will show up throughout this guide.

Getting to Know His Prostate

First things first — where exactly is the prostate, and what does it do? The prostate gland functions as part of a man's endocrine system, secreting prostate fluid, one component of semen [1]. It sits near the urethra, just below the bladder.

The prostate also has a reputation as a genuine pleasure center, capable of an entirely different type of orgasm. For thousands of years, it's been recognized as an acupressure point too.

Unsure how your man feels about prostate play? It's genuinely one of those important sex questions to ask a guy!

Two main routes exist for reaching it. First, through the anal lining — roughly 2 inches inside, with fingers curled toward his testicles.

Its position means a tongue alone won't reach it directly, though eating his ass can still drive him wild. Learn how.

The second route runs through the perineum, that slightly textured strip of skin between anus and testicles. Firm pressure through the skin there (a knuckle works well for this) can stimulate the prostate too.

Sitting inside the rectum, the prostate resembles a walnut in shape. Arousal should make it feel firm; an unhealthy prostate might feel unusually large or textured differently.

Its accessibility via the anus gives some people pause. You might even wonder whether his interest in prostate massage signals something about his sexuality.

You're a woman, he's attracted to you, and you two are having sex together, right? Being gay seems genuinely unlikely here.

Maybe you're a straight woman who happens to enjoy anal play yourself — plenty of pleasure exists there, so don't hold back! If he's hesitant, pointing him toward this article about the male G-spot might help.

Another reason for hesitation around giving a prostate massage often comes down to the access route itself: through the rectum.

Massaging His Prostate: How to Prepare

Worry about mess is common when it comes to prostate milking. Any kind of anal play carries some chance of encountering fecal matter, though your man can take a few precautions to reduce that likelihood.

• A recent, clean bowel movement helps enormously — plenty of dietary fiber supports regularity. Skip anal play entirely if he still needs to go.
• A thorough wipe-down with a wet wipe.
• A small anal douche with warm water rinses the area out nicely, done over the toilet for effortless cleanup.
• A shower to freshen everything up.

An enema usually isn't necessary, though your man might genuinely enjoy one as a lead-up to prostate massage. These connect to a faucet or shower, guiding water into the anus via a tube. They leave a squeaky-clean feeling, though the equipment can be pricey and takes longer than a basic douche.

Get more tips like these in our post on preparing for anal sex.

Trimming nails short and filing them smooth beforehand is always a thoughtful move before manually stimulating a partner!

A barrier might also ease your comfort level here. A condom slipped over one or two fingers works in a pinch, or a glove does the job too — skip latex entirely if either of you has an allergy, which also rules out latex condoms.

Lube the glove's fingers, then simply toss them once the massage wraps up.

Toys offer another route that skips fingers entirely, covered in more depth shortly.

All these steps help keep prostate massage genuinely safe. Learn more about anal sex safety.

Make His Prostate Milking Experience a Positive One

Excitement about introducing your man to something new is understandable, but a few things help ensure he actually enjoys it. Above all, go slower than slow — the same guidance given to any woman trying anal sex for the first time. Before penetration, try manual stimulation around his butt and anus first. Learn more about anal fingering here.

Lube matters enormously since the prostate doesn't self-lubricate. A thick water-based formula might suit him, or a longer-lasting silicone lube could be the better fit for you both. Check out our guide to lube for more tips, and reapply as often as needed.

Start with a single finger, gradually adding more as he adjusts to the sensation. This approach works especially well if working toward a girthier toy is the eventual goal (also known as anal training) — or start with a narrower toy and build up from there.

Confirm he's genuinely relaxed. An orgasm beforehand is a great starting point. A sensual massage ahead of time helps too (silicone-based lube doubles nicely for this!). Encouraging steady breathing throughout keeps his whole body more relaxed.

If only a quickie's on the schedule, save prostate massage for another time, especially his first attempt — reaching orgasm this way can take up to an hour, and as with any sex act, the journey matters more than the destination.

All of this reduces the odds of pain. Read this if anal sex hurts.

How Prostate Massage Feels for a Man

While plenty of men genuinely enjoy prostate stimulation, the experience varies person to person. Some get instantly erect; others soften up entirely during stimulation. Neither reaction signals a lack of enjoyment. Communication remains key to keeping things positive — more on that in this post about talking about sex.

Getting to a genuinely satisfying place can take a few attempts. Adjusting to the pressure, or the loss of control involved, takes some men time, and sensation tends to build gradually rather than feeling mind-blowing right away.

One respondent to a Love Curi survey on prostate massage described the sensation as a "humbling feeling of being drained against your will." Another described "a deep, internal tension which feels like my cock is being stimulated from the inside out."

For plenty of men, it genuinely does feel like a massage — just approached from an entirely different angle.

Interestingly, several survey respondents mentioned a "need to pee" sensation during prostate stimulation — a feeling that might sound familiar if you've experienced G-spot stimulation yourself (some even describe the G-spot as a female prostate, or vice versa).

That said, fully grasping what prostate stimulation feels like from the outside may simply be out of reach for a woman. As one man phrased it:

this question is like trying to describe the color blue to a blind person

Plenty of reasons exist for why men enjoy anal, giving and receiving alike. Others simply said words failed them entirely.

One thing's certain: he might genuinely thank you for being adventurous enough to suggest prostate play once he's actually tried it! Discover what it means to be a freak in bed.

Playing with Prostate Toys

A toy built specifically for prostate massage helps you target the organ precisely, especially useful if finger length or dexterity isn't quite up to the task.

Plenty of G-spot toys (vibrators and dildos alike) double well for prostate milking, and anal probes or butt plugs work too (learn how to use a butt plug). For genuinely intense stimulation specifically, though, a couple of brands stand out: Aneros and Nexus.

Both make prostate massagers with distinctive shapes — an insertable section targeting the prostate directly, usually paired with an external arm for simultaneous perineum stimulation. A handle or loop lets you rock the toy back and forth against the prostate, and some designs resemble a three-armed triskele shape.

That distinctive shape genuinely helps locate the right spot, something plenty of survey respondents mentioned finding tricky otherwise.

Not every prostate toy has a pronounced handle — some run L-shaped, others C or U-shaped.

Toys like these may skip vibration entirely, though plenty of vibrating prostate options exist too. Well-known makers like Fun Factory, Lelo, Rocks Off, and Tantus all offer both vibrating and non-vibrating versions.

Lube matters just as much with a toy as with a finger. Apply it directly to the toy, his anus, or both.

Pegging

His prostate can also be massaged using a strap-on harness and dildo — known as pegging, with plenty of guidance available in this post about using strap-ons. Pegging him might well give you a genuine thrill and a real sense of power too.

Discover the best advice about pegging.

Picking the right dildo matters for both your enjoyment and his. A straight dildo can work, but one with a curve or bulbous tip tends to serve prostate massage better — with the curve angled upward toward the prostate.

Grabbing the largest dildo available might feel tempting, but staying realistic matters. Start small if pegging is new territory, sizing up gradually (a harness compatible with multiple O-rings makes swapping dildo sizes easy) as he becomes more accustomed. Length works similarly — a longer dildo paired with shallower thrusts is always an option too.

Stick to body-friendly materials — stainless steel, glass, or silicone — when selecting a dildo for pegging. Plastic and jelly materials harbor porous holes where bacteria linger even after washing with soap and water. Nonporous materials like the ones listed have no such holes and handle a 10% bleach solution just fine, meaning your favorite G-spot dildo can serve double duty for both of you, provided it's sterilized between uses.

Since you won't get the same physical feedback he would using a strap-on, communication becomes essential. He needs to tell you whether you're actually hitting his prostate, and how your speed and depth feel for him.

Techniques for Prostate Massage

Once you've located his prostate, what comes next? Start with slow, gentle in-and-out motion using your finger or toy, pressing firmly against the prostate throughout — just avoid fully withdrawing from his anus.

Your motion may need to begin just above the prostate itself.

Using a handle-equipped toy? Rocking it back and forth often outperforms straightforward thrusting, delivering internal pressure directly on the prostate alongside simultaneous perineum stimulation.

Pressing firmly on his perineum during orgasm can intensify things further, potentially triggering a "dry" orgasm [3] — the kind that opens the door to multiple orgasms! Chasing that specific outcome might mean holding off on penile touch entirely during the massage. Some men can experience several dry orgasms in a row this way.

Alternatively, pairing prostate milking with oral sex works beautifully too. Check our tips here — kneel in front of him, start giving oral, then reach around to stimulate his prostate simultaneously.

Sucking his balls alongside a prostate massage is another option worth trying.

Related: How to Suck His Balls To Drive Him Wild With Pleasure

A few fingertip techniques worth experimenting with:

• Circular motion
• Tapping
• Back-and-forth or side-to-side rubbing

Vary the intensity too — some men respond well to a gentle touch, while others need genuine firmness to actually reach orgasm from prostate stimulation.

Curious about how a prostate orgasm actually differs from a penile one? Keep reading….

Prostate Orgasm

Plenty of men can orgasm purely from prostate milking, and they frequently describe it as genuinely distinct from penile-driven orgasms. The latter feel more centered in the genitals, while prostate orgasms seem to radiate from deep within the body or pelvis, sometimes accompanied by warmth or tingling.

One Redditor described how a prostate orgasm feels this way:

A radiating warmth coupled with a pressurized pleasure. […]

When it hit, it fucking hit.

A wave smashing into my groin, wave after wave smashing over the rest of my body. My skin felt super receptive. I felt every hair follicle on my scalp, and I felt a pressure building again.

I had ended up groaning again, quite loudly, and shot across the room. Multiple volleys of semen flew across the room, managing to hit the opposite wall.

When it was over I was still quivering. Gasping for air and trying to ot to touch my body. I grazed my nipples and nearly had a seizure. I cleaned myself off after 10 minutes trying to regain my composure. When I stood up I couldn't walk. My knees were quivering with exhaustion.

It was intense beyond intense. Do try it.

Another man echoed that sentiment:

How did it feel? It was definitely NOT genital as has been mentioned above, it came from within my pelvis, deep to my body, and when it hit it was overwhelming and completely uncontrollable.

I convulsed there for a good minute, feeling waves throughout my body, and also feeling supreme satisfaction to have finally successfully had a prostate orgasm. There is definitely a spaghetti legs feeling still, and a lovely afterglow.

Not the easiest thing in the world to achieve but with practice I'd say it's totally f'n worth it.

Plenty of others echoed similarly intense descriptions, mentioning lost bodily control and "spaghetti legs" afterward, with recovery taking a bit longer amid trembling and catching their breath. Some also noted ejaculating more, or over greater distance, from prostate massage specifically.

Several men mentioned being unable to hold back moans and groans during a prostate orgasm, despite staying quiet during regular ones.

He may find it easier to fully enjoy prostate stimulation with you doing the work while he simply focuses on the sensation.

Just like with the G-spot, orgasm may not happen the first time, or even the first several attempts. Time and practice genuinely help, so be prepared for a few tries before he finishes — assuming that's the goal he wants at all.

Psst, check out these male orgasm techniques!

Once you're ready to stop, or after he's finished, withdraw slowly — especially with a toy involved. Give his body a moment to adjust to that sudden empty feeling.

Psst, ever wondered if you can get pregnant from anal sex? Or whether anal sex is safe during pregnancy? Check out the other posts in our anal guide for answers.

The Best Positions for Prostate Play

Check out these 17 deeply enjoyable pegging positions to get started.

Struggling to reach his prostate, or just want variety? Switching positions helps. Lying on his side with his upper knee drawn toward his chest is one option, and it also works well for solo prostate massage exploration, easing him into the idea on his own first.

Another option has him sitting with both knees pulled to his chest, letting you position yourselves face to face during stimulation.

His prostate becomes especially easy to reach on hands and knees, making it the go-to position for strap-on penetration. Alternatively, he can lie on his back, legs raised, while you kneel in front to peg him, similar to Missionary.

Leaning him over a table or another sturdy surface offers full access too, mirroring the many rear-entry positions used elsewhere. A strap-on, another toy, or simple manual stimulation all work well from here.

Plenty of the best sex positions for anal translate directly to prostate play too.

Keep in mind the genuine exhaustion and weak legs a prostate orgasm can leave him with, though.

Psst, did you know some women experience anal orgasms too? Find out more.

Prostate Massage for Prostate Health

No conclusive evidence confirms prostate play alone prevents or eases prostatitis symptoms, though plenty of anecdotal support exists [4]. It can genuinely help ease symptoms, though, and often gets paired successfully with antimicrobial or antibiotic treatment [5] [6]. Diet plays a role in prostate health too.

Some doctors and medical professionals do offer prostate massage as a service, though naturally it costs more than a partner's touch — and it's considerably less sexy.

What the Science Says

Doctors commonly rely on a digital rectal exam (DRE) to check prostate health [7] [8] — inserting a finger to feel for swelling or unusual texture that might signal cancer (inflammation can also point to certain STIs, gonorrhea included [9]). Plenty of men find this invasive and embarrassing, sometimes delaying it entirely for that reason. A blood test screening for prostate-specific antigens (PSA) emerged as an alternative detection method for prostatitis [10].

More recently, though, another screening method has emerged: testing urine after a prostate massage. It turns out massaging the prostate releases PSAs into urine [11], giving doctors an alternative to the rectal exam or blood test, neither of which is always fully accurate.

Resources

• Check out BVibe's guide to prostate play, complete with anatomy graphics and toy/finger technique breakdowns.
• Cara Sutra's excellent post, Prostate Massage 101, is worth a read if questions remain after this guide.
• The Mayo Clinic offers information about prostatitis, including a breakdown of types and treatment paths.
• Check out the Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure by Charlie Glickman for a physical copy.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Is it normal for my man to want a prostate massage? Does it make him gay?

A: Plenty of people wrestle with associating prostate milking with being gay, purely because of its anal location. But a man asking his female partner to explore this together sounds pretty straightforwardly heterosexual! Plenty of men are simply curious (he may have already tried anal masturbation solo). Countless men rave about the pleasure, and plenty of resources recommend it for health reasons too.

Q: How do I get over the idea that prostate play is gross or dirty?

A: Hesitation makes sense given the rectum's role in eliminating waste. First, following the prep steps above (showering, shaving, douching) makes the whole experience considerably more appealing. Gloves (non-latex for anyone with an allergy) simplify cleanup too. Ultimately, though, pushing past any squeamishness pays off — the pleasure involved, and the intimacy it builds between you, tends to outweigh initial hesitation.

Q: Does prostate massage help with prostatitis?

A: Plenty of men managing prostatitis (an inflamed prostate) swear by massage for pain relief. Some doctors even recommend it preventively before prostatitis becomes an issue. That said, research hasn't reached a strong consensus either way.

Q: What's the best way to stimulate the prostate?

A: One or two fingers often do the trick easily enough. A dildo works too, especially one with a G-spot/prostate curve. Dedicated prostate toys, though, tend to be the most effective tool overall — locating the prostate precisely, delivering pressure exactly where needed, and stimulating from both inside and out simultaneously.

Q: Should I be worried if my partner sometimes loses his erection during prostate play?

A: Not remotely! Completely normal. Some men get instantly erect from prostate stimulation, while others lose and regain erections throughout. As long as the experience feels good overall, neither of you needs to worry.

Q: What if he doesn't come from prostate milking?

A: That happens sometimes, and it's nothing to stress over. Prostate massage can still trigger fluid release even without full ejaculation.

Giving a prostate massage might feel intimidating at first, but the intimacy and reward involved make it genuinely worth considering. Armed with this guide, you'll understand exactly why men have valued prostate milking for millennia, and you'll likely impress your man with your newfound expertise!

Q: What other anal activities might he like?

A: For a man who enjoys prostate massage and anal play generally, giving him a rim job is another great option. Get the lowdown on analingus.

August 14, 2020