Slapping During Sex: The Complete Guide To Doing It Right

We're diving into slapping during sex (consensually, of course) with expert-backed insight to answer the question, "Why do I like being slapped in bed?" If you've secretly wanted to slap or be slapped during sex, or a partner has brought it up, today's your lucky day!

Slapping during sex happens more often than you'd think, and it can genuinely enhance your experience. But there are wrong ways to approach it that make it less safe and less satisfying. Follow our advice to sidestep awkward or risky moments while learning exactly how to slap (or be slapped) during sex in a way that stays hot and controlled.

Consent, Consent, And More Consent

Surprising your partner with a slap mid-sex is far more likely to catch them off guard unpleasantly. You could trigger a reflexive response, like a slap or punch back, and end up hurt. Or…

They might even view it as assault!

Plenty of people enjoy rough sex or BDSM, but not everyone's into face slapping specifically. Getting verbal consent before you smack someone confirms it's welcome, and gives you both a chance to discuss how it should go.

Read: Guide to sexual consent.

One essential thing to nail down beforehand is a safe word. Options like these 51 safe word ideas give you a way to pause play or flag that something's wrong.

Discover BDSM negotiation for any scene or activity.

Related: Use Sexual Communication for Complete Sexual Fulfillment.

Why People Enjoy Hitting Or Being Hit

There are several reasons people enjoy getting slapped during sex:

• It keeps you present. The intensity forces focus onto the body rather than the mind.
• It's part of your power exchange dynamic.
• You identify as sexually submissive.
• You're a masochist who enjoys pain.
• It's delivered as a BDSM punishment.
• It's woven into roleplay involving hitting. 42 role play ideas for sex.

A higher pain threshold – Keep in mind that intense arousal can raise your pain tolerance well above baseline.

More intense sex – Pain can amplify pleasure (9 intense sex tips). Arousal also dulls your disgust response, which can make a face slap feel more welcome than it otherwise would.

If slapping is your thing – If you're the one who likes slapping, you might generally lean toward rough sex, being dominant, or holding control in the bedroom, or you might simply use slapping to grab your partner's attention. Even the mere threat of a slap during sex can be a powerful tool, more on that below…

How To Slap Your Partner During Sex

Take off jewelry and glasses – Start by removing rings and other jewelry. Be mindful if you have long or sharp nails too. The goal is a slap, not a bruise or a cut.

If the person receiving the slap wears glasses, they should take them off to avoid breakage or injury. The same goes for facial jewelry in the cheek area.

Keep pets away – It's also worth keeping pets out of the room, since they can become protective if they sense their owner is being hurt.

Use an open palm – Keep your hand flat, thumb out to the side rather than tucked into your palm, and keep it slightly relaxed.

Ease into it – You can always slap harder later, but you can't undo a slap that landed too hard.

Remember, a concussion is never the goal!

Start with your hand close to their face for a lighter slap, relying more on wrist motion than arm or shoulder. Once you're both comfortable, you can incorporate more arm movement and start from farther away to increase intensity.

Finally, stay in control of your movements so you don't accidentally hit the wrong spot. Aim to make contact with your finger pads, not the heel or palm of your hand, and not just your fingertips or nails. Practicing on yourself with light slaps can help you dial in the right motion.

Seek guidance – The kink community is a great resource for learning proper technique. Local sex toy shops or kink clubs/dungeons sometimes offer classes.

If your partner is thrashing around, it's safer to wait until they've settled before slapping them.

Always check in with your partner about the location, pace, and intensity of your slaps.

Where To Slap Your Partner's Face During Sex

Steer clear of certain areas, especially with any real force. That includes the ears, which risk eardrum damage, and the eyes, which are vulnerable to all kinds of physical harm.

Instead, aim for the fleshiest part of the cheek, below the cheekbone, which gives you the most margin for error. The jaw is fair game too, just avoid connecting with the teeth or cheekbone directly, which risks a fracture.

Slapping Other Body Parts During Sex

Slapping doesn't have to stay confined to the face.

Butt – Slapping someone's ass edges into spanking territory, and we've got plenty of spanking advice covered elsewhere! The butt is an easy target across a variety of sex positions, and spanking doubles as good practice for slapping technique.

Breasts – Breasts are another common target since they're easy to reach and can handle it without much risk. You can slap from above, below, or the sides. It can also feel amazing to be slapped on the breasts during breast bondage, potentially leading to breast/nipple orgasms. Just be careful around nipple piercings.

Penis/balls – Slapping the cock and balls can be a lot of fun given how they respond to impact due to their movement. That means you can slap from the front while positioned behind someone, or from between their legs. You can lift the penis to isolate the balls, or vice versa. If you want to spice up your blow jobs and your partner enjoys ball/penis slapping, try it next time you're giving a blow job.

You can also experiment with slapping a penis whether it's hard or soft.

Vulva – The vulva, the outer region including the mons pubis, clitoris, and labia (often mistakenly called the vagina), is another option. Aiming can be tricky face-to-face, so try slapping from above or below for more impact instead.

Face Slapping Techniques To Try

If face slapping is your particular fetish, there's a range of techniques worth experimenting with.

Related: List of 239 kinks and fetishes.

Forehand/open hand – Considered the 'standard' slap, where the inside of your fingers make contact. Swing your arm from your side, if you're right-handed, pull your arm right before bringing it forward.

Backhand– Here, you draw your hand back toward your opposite shoulder before swinging forward so the back of your hand connects. This uses your knuckles, which raises the risk of injury and pain.

Non-dominant hand – Most people default to their dominant hand, so slapping with your non-dominant hand can catch your partner off guard since it comes from an unexpected direction. It also tends to be weaker, useful if you're worried about hitting too hard.

Two hands – Deliver two forehand slaps back to back, one with each hand. Works well on the butt or face, hitting one side and then the other.

Warning tap – Tap your partner once or twice as a heads-up before the actual slap.

Slap and tap – After a firmer slap, follow up with a light tap on the same spot before pulling your hand away.

Look over there – Have your partner look away from the direction the slap will come from for an extra element of surprise.

Hold before slapping – Draw your hand back like you're about to slap, then pause where your partner can see it, building anticipation before you actually do it. You don't even have to follow through, or you can fake a rough slap and deliver a light tap instead.

Fake out – Wind up like you're going for an intense slap, then slow down at the last second into a light slap or tap, or stop entirely before contact. This works best the closer your hand gets before pulling back.

Playing with this kind of anticipation and unpredictability can make a slapping session feel incredibly intense, even without much actual slapping.

Gloved – A gloved hand feels noticeably different from bare skin. You can also drape fabric across their face or hold it while slapping.

Kiss and slap – Try slapping right after giving a sweet kiss on the cheek, or kissing the exact spot you just slapped.

Slap and hold – Instead of pulling your hand away after slapping, leave it resting against your partner's skin.

Caress – Rub or caress your partner's body before or after a slap. Sensual massage techniques.

Blindfold – Slapping someone who can't see it coming can build a lot of anxious tension, if that's what you're after.

Grab – A follow-up move after being slapped, grab their wrist(s), possibly pinning them above or behind their head.

What Vibe Are You Going For?

The technique that works best often depends on the mood you're aiming to create.

Anticipation – Not knowing exactly when a slap is coming builds tension and heightens the entire scene.

Primal aggression – For some, slapping during sex taps into raw, animalistic instinct (sometimes tied to a type of dominant known as primal). It often pairs with grabbing, wrestling, scratching, growling, and biting.

Side note: 14 tips & techniques for scratching during sex.

Discipline – Like spanking, a face slap can function as discipline for disobeying a dominant partner. Not your style? Explore other BDSM punishments instead.

Humiliation – Slapping and humiliation often go together, especially when it's unwelcome to the receiver. Pairing it with degrading language, like "You deserve that" or "You're worthless," can make it even more powerful. Get tips for erotic humiliation and degradation.

Sadism/masochism – Sadism and masochism, often abbreviated S&M, describes an interest in giving or receiving pain sexually.

Attention getting – Getting slapped can quickly snap your focus back into the moment, useful if staying present is a struggle. Some partners save slapping specifically for moments of distraction.

In bondage – Slapping someone who's restrained is a great way to spice up sex.

Safety And Risks Of The Face Slapping Kink

While slapping during sex is generally safe when done carefully, it's still possible to go too far and cause pain, marks, or real injury.

Bruising – A hard slap can leave a visible handprint for days. That might be fine after an ass slap, but it's a very different story on your face when you have to face the world afterward!

Be especially careful not to get swept up in the moment, since that's when accidental injuries happen.

Potential injuries include:

• Bruising
• Cuts and scratches
• Perforated eardrum
• Chipped or broken teeth
• Cuts inside the cheek from teeth
• Head injury, including concussion
• Scratched eyes

An open mouth during a slap raises the odds of a chipped tooth.

Keep in mind a slap can jerk the head to the side, so make sure that space is clear of anything sharp. That motion can also strain the neck and spine.

The person being slapped might not clock these injuries right away, since shock is a common psychological response to a face slap. Shock has its upsides, but it can also mask injury in the moment.

Aftercare For Slapping During Sex

The right aftercare depends on where and how hard the slap landed. Lighter slaps might need nothing at all.

For something more intense, consider an ice pack or a spanking balm (usually arnica-based) or another soothing product for the area. If skin was broken, treat the cut or scratch properly.

In-depth guide: Aftercare for BDSM and sex.

"I Like Being Slapped By My Partner During Sex"

If you're among the many people who enjoy being slapped by a partner during sex, you might question whether that's normal, or whether something's off with you. Rest easy, you're far from alone. Plenty of people would admit "I like being slapped by my partner" if given the chance, even if they don't say it out loud often.

Enjoying rough physical play, including spanking or even punching during sex, doesn't signal anything wrong with you. Plenty of kinks exist without any negative backstory at all.

Why Do I Have A Slap Kink?

There's no single explanation for where this sexual desire comes from. For some, it might trace back to something they read or watched.

But as long as consent and safety are in place, which you now know how to manage, go ahead and embrace what feels good to you.

June 24, 2025