What Is Pegging? The Complete Guide For Maximum Enjoyment

Welcome to pegging 101. This guide covers exactly what pegging means and how to successfully peg a partner (or get pegged yourself). Most importantly, you'll walk away with the tips, tricks, and positions needed to make pegging a genuinely satisfying experience every single time.

What Is Pegging?

Formally, pegging describes a woman wearing a strap-on dildo to anally penetrate her male partner. Dan Savage coined the term back in 2001 [1].

A strap-on? – A strap-on dildo comes in two pieces: a removable dildo and a harness. The harness wraps around the crotch, panty-style, holding the dildo in roughly the same position a penis would naturally occupy.

That said, plenty of people define pegging more loosely than "woman penetrates boyfriend":

• Men and non-binary folks can absolutely peg partners with a strap-on too.
• Using a strap-on for vaginal penetration and still calling it pegging? No objection here either.

Pegging yourself in the traditional sense isn't really possible, though using a dildo or massaging your own prostate solo remains entirely viable.

Why pegging feels so good – Simply put, plenty of men and women have genuinely sensitive backsides and enjoy anal penetration. Men specifically carry an internal organ called the prostate, remarkably sensitive to stimulation. Anal prostate stimulation delivers real pleasure for plenty of men [2].

That anatomical difference makes it genuinely tough for men to answer "what does pegging feel like?" for anyone without a prostate of their own.

With the definition and appeal covered, along with why it's a genuinely great way to please your man, it's time to learn how to actually peg your partner in a way that's fun and satisfying for you both…

Before Your Start Pegging

Rather than surprising a partner with a strap-on when they least expect it, discussing it beforehand and securing genuinely enthusiastic consent first is the way to go.

That conversation might involve explaining exactly what pegging is, why women enjoy it, and covering other beginner-friendly basics together.

Talking about pegging – More detail on broaching the topic if you want to peg someone lives in the FAQ section below, alongside how to ask a partner to peg you in another FAQ entry.

Now…

Let's get into actually starting a pegging session!

Pegging Preparation

Skip proper anal prep before pegging, and things can turn painful and messy fast :/

Our in-depth guide on how to prepare for anal sex is genuinely worth reading in full. For the condensed version, here's what the receiving partner should know:

1. A pre-session shower helps clear away anything unwanted. A douche or enema is an optional extra step, though usually unnecessary.
2. Hair removal around the anus is optional too, but can make penetration feel smoother for the receiver and prevent tangling.
3. Lube is mandatory for any anal penetration, full stop — the anus simply doesn't self-lubricate the way a vagina does [3].
4. Numbing products are off-limits for the receiver. Pain signals genuine problems, and masking them removes an important safety check.
5. Solo experimentation with fingers and lube beforehand helps the receiver understand the sensation of anal penetration firsthand. Anal toys like plugs or beads can serve as useful prep tools too.
6. The receiver can also try inserting the strap-on's dildo themselves first, building familiarity before their partner takes over.
7. Anyone new to anal play or pegging specifically should start with a smaller dildo.
8. A condom over the strap-on/dildo simplifies cleanup considerably.

Pegging Pain – Beyond hygiene, pain ranks as a leading cause of unsatisfying pegging sessions, typically from the anal sphincter stretching too fast or too far.

These muscles are naturally flexible and can stretch considerably, but rushing the process, or inserting something oversized too soon, guarantees real discomfort.

So whenever penetrating the anus — fingers, sex toy, or strap-on — starting small (a single finger, say) and moving genuinely slowly lets those muscles stretch gradually and painlessly.

Pegging tip: Rather than diving straight into pegging, waiting until after your partner has already orgasmed can leave them considerably more relaxed for anal penetration, especially on a first attempt.

Once comfortable with one finger, add a second, or move to a larger toy, gradually working toward something closer in size to the actual strap-on.

Another pain-reduction trick for the receiver: relaxing the throat tends to relax the anal sphincter too. Sounds unrelated, but genuinely works for plenty of people!

As mentioned above, lube smooths insertion and cuts down on the friction that causes pain.

Preparation For The Pegging Giver (Pegger) – The person doing the pegging has some prep of their own to handle.

1. Practice putting on the strap-on well before the actual session, so it goes on quickly and comfortably when it counts. Fumbling with it mid-moment kills momentum fast.
2. Test harness tightness too — too tight causes discomfort for the wearer, too loose makes proper penetration difficult.
3. Practice thrusting and angling the dildo through hip movement to build genuine control. Pillows make a great practice target.

With both partners genuinely prepared, it's finally time to begin…

How To Peg Your Partner For The First Time

Just like with anal sex generally, that initial penetration sets the tone for everything after. Rush it and cause pain early on, and the rest of the session suffers as a result.

Lube – Apply it generously to both the receiver's anus and the strap-on's tip.

Put your partner in control – Start each session by handing full control over depth and pace to the receiving partner.

Rather than thrusting into them, stay as still as possible and let them push back at their own pace. That way, stopping is always an option if pain creeps in, with zero unexpected surprises.

Men especially may find this move unfamiliar at first, so a few attempts might be needed before it clicks.

Wait until they relax – After initial penetration, hold the strap-on still inside them for roughly 30 seconds without thrusting (longer is fine too). This lets anal muscles gradually relax, making eventual thrusting feel considerably more pleasurable and less painful.

Checking in with them at this stage is smart. Comfortable and enjoying it? Proceed to the next steps. Not quite there? Pause until they're genuinely ready.

Slow thrusting – Once fully relaxed, thrusting can begin. Start slow and shallow, watching their reaction closely. Enjoying it? Gradually increase speed or depth slightly.

Every increase in speed or depth deserves a fresh check-in on their reaction. Direct verbal feedback works even better than guessing. More on having great sexual communication with your partner.

That covers the fundamentals of pleasurable pegging. Plenty more exists to take things further, though.

Incredible Pegging Positions

Finding the right pegging position for you and your partner comes down to genuinely personal preference. The ideal position for both partners hinges on several factors:

• Wanting to feel dominant
• Wanting to feel submissive
• Aiming for something intimate and loving
• Targeting a specific pleasurable spot
• Minimizing discomfort throughout

Dominant pegging positions – Feeling genuinely dominant during pegging pairs well with classic anal positions like Doggy Style, Prone Bone, or the Jockey position.

More submissive pegging positions – Positions like Amazon or Cowgirl can feel slightly more submissive for the pegger, though truly submissive pegging is tricky given the inherently dominant nature of the act itself.

Loving and intimate pegging positions – Pegging doesn't have to lean dominant or submissive at all — it can feel genuinely tender instead, especially in positions like Spooning or Teaspooning. Some women even use a modified Missionary position, partner's knees drawn to their chest.

Positions for hitting a pleasurable spot – This comes down heavily to individual anatomy and preference. Experimentation and open feedback are essential for finding what genuinely feels best for both partners.

Positions for minimizing discomfort during pegging – Anatomy and preference matter here too, though generally, whatever position allows maximum relaxation tends to work best. Trying different positions and communicating openly helps both partners land on genuinely comfortable options.

8 Powerful Pegging Techniques To Give Your Partner Next-Level Anal Orgasms

Once the basics feel solid and you're both genuinely enjoying pegging, it's time to add some flair!

1. Reach around

Simple to pull off in any Doggy Style variation. While pegging, reach an arm around their waist and start a hand job if they have a penis, or begin rubbing their clit simultaneously if not. These masturbation techniques offer ideas for clit stimulation.

2. BDSM

BDSM offers a great way to explore power dynamics together while adding a kinkier edge to pegging. Just prioritize safety throughout. A few ways to blend the two:

• Bondage. Tie up and restrain your partner during pegging.
• Layer in degradation or humiliation. Name-calling works especially well here — just make sure it's agreed upon beforehand!
• Into pain? Try nipple pinching or spanking mid-session.
• Choke your partner during pegging for an even more intense domination dynamic.

3. Pillows

Pillows can genuinely shift the angle of penetration during pegging. Memory foam holds shape far better than standard pillows, which tend to flatten under weight. Positioning matters too.

Under the hips – The receiver, lying on their back in a Missionary-style setup, can prop a pillow beneath their hips. For women, this can noticeably improve the experience; for men, it can improve access to the prostate.

Under the belly – In a Doggy Style-type position, a pillow (or several) under the belly mostly offers extra support to the receiver.

Under your knees – Kneeling on a hard floor, either partner can benefit from pillow padding for comfort.

Wherever they are needed – As with everything covered on Love Curi, genuine experimentation with pillow placement during pegging (or any sex act) pays off. Height mismatch making pegging tricky, for instance? Kneeling on a pillow might solve it.

4. Dirty Talk

Dirty talk during pegging adds another fun layer entirely. Plenty of tone options exist here, just like with the physical approach itself.

Loving dirty talk – A caring, affectionate tone works well too. A few example lines:

• How does that feel, baby?
• You make me feel so good fucking you
• I could ride you all day.
• I want to make you cum.
• You take this dildo so well.

Dominant dirty talk – For plenty of people, pegging carries an inherently dominant charge for the giver (part of why women genuinely enjoy it), with the receiver settling into a submissive role. The emotional weight of pegging can genuinely surprise you.

Dirty talk here reinforces exactly who's in charge:

• You were born to take my cock.
• I want to hear you say, “Please fuck me harder/deeper”
• Tell me how much you love getting fucked.
• Beg me to fuck you.

Encouraging dirty talk – Not everyone frames pegging as dominant/submissive — some see it purely as intimacy between partners. A few encouraging lines to try:

• You look so beautiful taking my dick, keep going.
• You make me feel so good.
• You’re going to make me cum.
• Please keep fucking me. Works for either partner, giver or receiver.

Filthy dirty talk – Sometimes the mood is just... filthy and red-hot. A few options for those moments:

• Fuck me harder.
• I’m going to make you cry from pleasure.
• I’m going to turn you into my pegging slut.
• I love pegging your ass.

Whatever tone genuinely suits you both, we've got resources covering it. Check out our Dirty Talking Guide and learn another 91 dirty things to say to your partner mid-pegging.

5. From Loving To Rough

How pegging feels can span from careful, tender attention all the way to rough, intense sex.

Gentle & loving – Take your time, gently guiding your partner onto all fours into Doggy Style, softly caressing their body before slowly working the lubed strap-on's tip into their anus.

After initial penetration, hold them close and thrust slowly while whispering affection into their ear.

More: Learn how to make love instead of simply having sex.

Rough & wild – Tear off your partner's clothes, push them onto the bed, grab their ass, and pull them toward you. Using saliva as improvised lube, press your strap-on deep into them as they groan through a mix of pain and pleasure.

Thrust harder and faster, making your control unmistakable, until a whimper escapes them. Then…

Grab their hair and pull their head back toward yours, whispering, “You don’t get to cum until I do.”

Next level: 16 more rough sex ideas for wilder sex.

Somewhere in between – Both extremes above are genuinely hot, representing two ends of a spectrum. Full tenderness or full roughness aren't the only options — talk with your partner before and after to find your own sweet spot.

6. Tease Their Ass With The Tip

Quick technique, this one.

Before full penetration begins, tease your partner first using just the strap-on's tip.

Press it lightly an inch or so into the anus, then withdraw and trail it around the outer area. Great for building anticipation while giving those muscles a moment to relax further.

7. Change Your Stroke Or Keep A Consistent Rhythm

Consistent Stroke & Rhythm – Reaching orgasm during penetration often comes easier with a steady, predictable stroke — pegging is no exception.

Struggling to climax during a session? Let your partner know a more consistent rhythm might genuinely help.

Side note: Consistency in rhythm matters for masturbation too, when reaching orgasm is the goal.

Changing Your Stroke – That said, an unchanging rhythm forever gets boring fast, so mixing in faster or slower penetration keeps things interesting.

Quick shifts can genuinely surprise a partner, while slower transitions give them time to adjust.

Changing Your Stroke To Edge Your Partner – Edging first is a great way to tease and ultimately deliver stronger orgasms.

Edging means bringing a partner right to the brink, then easing stimulation back before they finish… then slowly building again toward that peak a second time, backing off once more before release.

This cycle can repeat multiple times before finally allowing orgasm.

That repeated edging genuinely intensifies the eventual climax considerably.

During pegging, edging works by shifting your stroke or rhythm right as they approach climax, holding off release. After a pause, build them toward that peak again, then shift once more.

Repeat as long as you're both enjoying it, until you finally let your partner finish.

Learn how to edge your partner and yourself to orgasm.

8. Pegging Role Play

Pegging lends itself beautifully to roleplay too. A few favorite role play ideas to try with your partner during pegging:

Role reversal – Heterosexual couples can flip the script entirely — rather than him penetrating her, she takes the lead penetrating him.

Sexuality and gender-bending – Turned on by the idea of gender-flipping? Try using a strap-on, dressing more masculine, and pegging your partner — a great way to "experience" a taste of masculinity.

Bisexual and homosexual exploration – Similarly, a straight man curious about the fantasy of being with another man can safely explore that territory through getting pegged by a female partner, without "going all the way."

Double penetration for her – Some women want to experience double penetration without pursuing an actual threesome or group sex. A neat compromise: a penis-having partner wears a strap-on too, effectively offering "two" penetrating tools. Those without a penis can opt for a double-dildo strap-on design instead.

Choosing The Right Strap-On For You & Your Partner

With the fun side thoroughly covered, it's time to figure out which strap-on actually suits you.

Here are the major strap-on categories worth knowing.

Regular Harnesses With A Removable Dildo

A waist-worn harness with a removable dildo ranks among the most common pegging setups. The dildo attaches via an O-ring, often swappable for different sizes.

What is an O ring – A metal ring shaped like an "O," holding the dildo securely in place.

Harnesses come in plenty of shapes and sizes, most commonly:

• Jockstrap style harnesses
• G string harnesses
• Underwear-style harnesses

Comfort is really the deciding factor when choosing a harness. Simple as that.

The Dildo

The removable dildo itself varies widely in shape and size, so pick whatever suits you both. Just prioritize:

• A flared base
• Compatibility with your harness's O-ring(s)

Plenty of complete pegging kits bundle harness and dildo together in various sizes. Buying the dildo separately opens up more options too.

Vibrating dildo – For extra stimulation during penetration, a vibrating dildo adds pleasure for the wearer too.

Inflatable dildo – An inflatable dildo, adjustable via a small hand pump, works especially well for anal training a partner gradually.

More comfort – A fully smooth dildo suits beginners best. Once pegging's confirmed enjoyable, textured options become worth exploring — rigid materials deliver the most intense texture of all.

More pleasure – For a receiver with a prostate, a curved shaft or contoured tip targeting the P-spot boosts pleasure considerably. No specialized pegging-specific toy required — most G-spot dildos work just fine.

Use a condom – Covering the dildo improves the receiver's comfort and makes post-session cleanup considerably easier.

Niche Harnesses And Dildo Combinations

Beyond the standard setup, several variations exist too.

Regular harness and hollow dildo – Popular among men managing erectile dysfunction who still want to penetrate a partner, or men wanting extra length beyond their own.

Double dildo strap-ons – These feature two dildos and work only for those with a vagina — one inserts normally into the harness for the partner, the other sits inside the harness, penetrating the wearer.

As the wearer thrusts, the internal dildo moves in sync with the external one.

Vac-U-Lock harnesses – One brand offers proprietary tech through the Vac-U-Lock system. These harnesses only pair with Vac-U-Lock-compatible dildos, and those dildos won't fit standard O-ring harnesses — so buying into this system locks you into its ecosystem specifically.

Strapless Strap-Ons

A sleeker alternative: the strapless strap-on, usable only by those with a vagina.

No harness involved here at all.

That said, stability can suffer without one, so plenty of people still pair these with a harness anyway.

Instead, it's a dildo with a bulb-shaped internal base that inserts into the wearer's vagina, designed to stay put during thrusting.

A nice bonus: the wearer gets stimulated too, with every thrust.

Vibrating strapless versions exist too, adding pleasure for both partners simultaneously.

Pegging FAQ – Frequently Asked Questions About Pegging

Pegging questions come up often. Here are answers to the most common ones.

1. Is Pegging Gay?

No. Attraction to someone of the same sex defines being gay — sexual activity with someone of the opposite sex simply isn't that, regardless of the specific act involved.

So if a partner's interest in being pegged is causing some worry, there's genuinely no need!

2. Is Pegging Safe?

Every sexual activity carries some inherent risk.

Unclean toys can irritate or infect either partner, and micro-tears in the anus raise susceptibility to STIs or bacterial infections. Toys made from non-body-safe materials pose their own risks too, and oversized dildos can genuinely cause pain.

Injury from anal penetration is possible too, toys getting stuck included [4]. One documented case involved anal sex causing sphincter "disruption" leading to incontinence [5]. Tears between rectum and vagina — rectovaginal tears — can even cause serious, potentially life-threatening bleeding [6]. That said, minor tearing-related bleeding during anal penetration is common and often not serious [7].

3. What Kind Of Lube Should I Use With A Strap-On?

High-quality water-based lube is our top pick for pegging — compatible with virtually every toy and genuinely easy to clean up.

Oil-based lube works well too, delivering real slickness and broad toy compatibility. It's tougher to clean off toys, though, and degrades latex condoms, risking tears.

Silicone-based lube and silicone toys need extra caution together. Since plenty of strap-on dildos contain silicone, silicone lube can degrade them over time.

Test compatibility by applying lube to the toy's base and rubbing vigorously for five minutes. Tackiness afterward signals incompatibility.

A slightly thicker lube might be ideal for pegging specifically, since it resists dripping off the toy mid-session.

4. I Want To Peg Someone. What Should I Do?

Bring it up when you're both genuinely relaxed and in the mood. They may already be curious, or open to it. Steer conversation toward anal play generally, then simply ask.

Already enjoying anal fingering or rimming together? You're already halfway there.

If they're genuinely uninterested, plenty of other wonderful sex tips exist for making your partner cry in bed with pleasure instead.

Pestering isn't recommended — it typically backfires, making interest even less likely.

When they are semi-interested – Focus the conversation on the genuine pleasure anal stimulation offers, including prostate orgasms. Encouraging solo exploration first can ease the pressure too.

Genuinely uninterested for now? Simply revisit the idea another time.

5. I Want To Be Pegged/How To Get Your Wife To Peg You?

Wondering how to bring this up with your wife? It really comes down to communication and her genuine interest.

Ideally, you'd just ask, and she'd say yes.

Simple enough.

Reality's a bit messier, though…

Next time sex comes up in conversation, casually steer things toward anal stimulation. A few conversation starters to gauge her interest:

• Mention genuine curiosity about anal play.
• Bring up past positive experiences with anal play, if applicable.
• Explain how sensitive the prostate is, and its orgasm potential when stimulated well.
• Ask if she's ever been curious about penetrating a partner.
• Tell her directly that being pegged by her sounds genuinely hot to you.

Whether she's into it, indifferent, or simply not interested, she'll likely make that clear.

If she shows positive signs – Stay relaxed and suggest shopping together for pegging gear. Move into the actual experience using the guidance above, incorporating the technique tips too.

If she shows negative signs – Revisit the topic another time, point her toward this introductory guide, or explore other kinky sex techniques together instead.

This guide to great sexual communication offers more on talking through sex topics generally.

6. My Wife Wants To Peg Me. What Should I Do?

Genuinely curious about trying it?

Great news if so!

The pegging techniques and pegging positions covered above are ready to go.

Not interested at all? That's completely fine too.

Worth remembering: plenty of men reach orgasm through anal penetration and prostate stimulation, sometimes even multiple orgasms. There's potentially real pleasure being left on the table here.

Also…

Some men reconsider after first trying anal fingering or anal masturbation solo.

7. Why Do Women Like Pegging?

Plenty of reasons drive women's genuine interest in pegging a partner:

• Simple curiosity about how it looks and feels.
• A genuine fantasy, kink, or fetish of hers.
• Enjoying the role reversal if she's typically the one being penetrated.
• Part of exploring gender play, imagining herself as a man momentarily.
• Wanting to dominate her partner, viewing penetration itself as an act of control.
• Simply enjoying her partner's pleasure, since plenty of people genuinely love being pegged.
• Or reasons entirely her own, not listed here.

These motivations often overlap rather than standing alone — it's rarely just one single reason.

8. Why Do Men Enjoy Getting Pegged?

Plenty of reasons drive men's interest too:

• Genuine enjoyment of anal play.
• A fantasy, kink, or fetish of his own. Explore the full range of kinks and fetishes elsewhere too.
• Enjoying prostate stimulation specifically. Read the full prostate stimulation guide.
• Viewing anal penetration as a genuinely submissive act he wants to embrace.
• His partner's genuine enjoyment of pegging him.
• Wanting to flip the usual penetrator role.
• Using it as a stepping stone into broader gender play exploration.
• Plain curiosity about the sensation.

Just like with women, these motivations often combine rather than standing alone.

9. Does Pegging Feel Good?

Once past initial entry and fully relaxed, pegging can feel genuinely incredible for the receiver, regardless of gender identity.

Some people, first-timers especially, experience real pain during that initial entry by rushing past the relaxation stage. That can genuinely sour the entire experience.

In fact, our anal sex survey found 81.7% of women experienced pain their very first time trying anal sex.

Worth genuinely internalizing…

The receiver's overall experience hinges heavily on how that first penetration unfolds.

Handle it well, with the strap-on-wearing partner genuinely attentive to feedback, and the experience can feel deeply satisfying.

Men can even reach prostate and anal orgasms purely through pegging, without any penile touch at all!

10. Do All Women Enjoy Pegging Men?

Some genuinely do. Some genuinely don't. Pretty much the same answer applies to nearly every sex act imaginable.

11. How Common Is Pegging?

No reliable data exists to definitively answer this one.

Despite genuine searching, only unverified figures and scattered anecdotes turned up. Plenty of people likely have no idea what pegging even is, and even those aware of it haven't necessarily tried it themselves.

That said, the more people ask "is pegging common?" and read guides like this one, the more awareness naturally spreads — especially as word travels between friends.

Rather than fixating on "is this normal?" or questioning why men enjoy it, focusing on the genuine benefits, or seeking fresh technique ideas if you already enjoy it, is generally the more productive path.

Pegging can land somewhere between intense and genuinely intimate. Trying it at least once before ruling it out is worth considering for most couples. Got lingering questions this guide hasn't covered, or personal tips and experiences worth sharing? The comment section below is open for exactly that.

July 12, 2022