23 Reasons Women Cheat, Straight From 268 Women

We recently asked 268 women who've admitted to cheating why they actually did it. Their answers spanned genuinely relatable to genuinely depressing to downright appalling.

Working through their responses, distinct patterns started emerging around why women stray…

Over 95% of what we heard sorted neatly into one of 23 categories…

1. My Partner Kept Falsely Accusing Me Of Cheating, So I Finally Did It

One recurring theme: women whose partners repeatedly, falsely accused them of cheating. These accusations often dragged on until the accused partner finally reached a breaking point: “Fuck it. If you’re going to make me feel guilty for something I haven’t done yet, then I’m going to do it anyway.” Genuine trust-building and steering clear of baseless accusations could make a real difference if avoiding this outcome matters to you.

– Because I was being accused of it already and he would not believe me.

– He kept accusing me of cheating, so I finally just did it.

– I only did once and I felt awful, but I was accused for months while I was doing nothing. So I said, ”Fuck it,” and did it.

– Legally, it was infidelity, but it was after I signed my divorce papers. He was accusing me of cheating for so long that I finally did it. No regrets.

– I was tired of being accused of cheating.

– He was locked up and kept accusing me of cheating when I wasn’t.

2. My Partner Cheated First/Revenge Cheating

Another common, if unfortunate, pattern: women who cheated only after their partner cheated first.

– ​Emotional disconnection. And because he cheated on me first.

– Our relationship was failing (she cheated on me 2 or 3 times before) while my long-time crush made a move on me.

– It was a rocky relationship and he had cheated several times before so I gave in.

– Because he was cheating on me with his baby mom and not giving me sex.

– He cheated on me, so it was in revenge on my ex. But I was a lot younger then.

– I cheated once. Right before divorce when our relationship was already broken to pieces. I had no intention of cheating. I remember accepting that I am actually about to cheat was strongly linked to the emotional state I was in and to the fact that I have been cheated on so many times in the past, that the pleasure of being wanted won over principles.

– After being faithful for 6 yrs and unsatisfied, he didn’t just cheat; he was having an affair for over a year.

– I found out he had been cheating for the entirety of our 12-year relationship. I knew that cheating on him would completely destroy him as he knew it’s something I would never do. I wanted to break him like he broke me.

– The relationship was basically over and he had been sleeping around on me.

– I needed emotional support after I found out he was cheating on me. I figured “what’s good for the goose, etc,” but realized I was wrong.

– Because I was being cheated on for years.

– 3 years after he cheated on me, which resulted in her getting pregnant, our relationship fell apart & my true love came back into my life.

– He cheated on me so I decided to get back at him by sleeping with my ex.

– I have cheated multiple times on a few exes. Usually cheated because we were fighting and I believed he was cheating on me (I was right btw!) anyway so felt like I should too.

3. I Cheated To End The Relationship

Whether we're talking men or women, cheating sometimes feels like the easiest exit from a relationship. Breakups are genuinely hard, though we'd always recommend an honest conversation first — infidelity should really be a last resort.

– Because he was busy getting drunk with his friends and I wanted him to leave me.

– Because he didn’t pay attention to me, my needs and feelings. But I wasn’t strong enough to break up with him.

– I wasn’t happy in my relationship and didn’t know how to break it off.

– They wouldn’t let me break up with them.

– I wanted to break up with him eventually (so went out with a bang, quite literally).

– My partner hadn’t touched me in several years, making me feel unattractive and undesirable. I was 37 years old at the time and assumed that part of my life must be over. I cheated because someone made me feel wanted and desirable again.

– Because I wanted him to leave and he wouldn’t.

– I wanted to leave but I knew he would guilt me and talk me out of it. Cheating is a one-way ticket out.

– Was done with the relationship but didn’t know how to tell him.

– I developed stronger feelings for someone else and was scared to tell my current boyfriend for fear of how he’d react.

– He wouldn’t break up with me and wouldn’t let me break up with him but also wouldn’t have sex with me.

– It was my ex-husband! We had been married for 13 years and the relationship was not working. Fighting every day, lots of possessiveness and we both were not happy. It was not good for the kids! I had asked for a divorce and he refused. So I deliberately planned that he would find out about it! We did get divorced, kids went on to score incredible marks at the end-of-year exams!! My ex met his ‘soulmate.’ So all in all, it needed to happen!

Discover how to divorce-proof your marriage.

– I couldn’t see a way out of the relationship I was in. I was trapped by him, didn’t want to stay and couldn’t leave. This man offered a glimmer of pleasure in a miserable situation.

4. I Was In An Abusive Relationship

Sometimes cheating becomes a woman's route out of genuine abuse. Sadly, several survey respondents found themselves in exactly that position, denied the love and care they genuinely deserved.

– Not having the courage to leave them first. My first partner was physically and mentally abusive, which emotionally tore me down. We had a mutual friend that had always shown interest in me (a good-looking man) and it started with the lack of love/respect from my then partner and seeing the noticeable desire from this other man. We thoroughly enjoyed each other.

– Was lonely, and my husband was abusive.

– He always said critical things about me that made me feel horrible about myself and less desirable. When I met a much more attractive man that always said things that made me feel confident and beautiful, I craved the affection and feelings of higher self-worth. I loved the feeling of being desired so much.

– Unhappy in my marriage. It was a verbally and mentally abusive relationship.

– We had a volatile relationship and neither of us treated the other well at times. I resented his behavior toward me quite often.

– He treated me like shit and after multiple times of begging him to treat me how I needed to be treated, I gave up and slept with someone else the night before I broke up with him.

– Because he cheated on me repeatedly and after 20 years of being told I was worthless, it made me feel like I was. I guess I needed to prove that I wasn’t worthless.

– Extreme jealousy from his side, not being appreciated anymore and just the need for something new and exciting.

Psst, it’s possible to deal with jealousy the healthy way.

– It wasn’t physical cheating, it was emotional. I was in an abusive relationship. Enjoyed the attention I received that my husband wasn’t giving me. My husband made me feel unwanted and ugly. This man made me feel the opposite.

– I didn’t realize it at the time but I was in an emotionally manipulative relationship and didn’t know a way out of the relationship because I was still young and inexperienced and didn’t know what I wanted. I was basically trying to avoid conflict. I also didn’t realize at the time (or perhaps ignored the fact) that I wanted attention from men more than actually accepting and loving a person for who they are. So instead of breaking up with him, I cheated on him (emotionally and physically) hoping that he would break up with me – which was not the case – and then it turned into an even more toxic relationship where we hung on for longer than we should’ve. He was emotionally, financially, and physically abusive. I was sexually exploited. He was so controlling and abusive and tried to keep me on a tight leash when all I wanted was to live my life my way. You could say I tried to rebel against him when I cheated. Thank god I’m out of there. I’ve learned my lesson, and about myself and can say that I would NEVER cheat on anyone ever again.

– I was dating a real shithead. He ended up in JAIL one weekend (what even was my life when I was 19?!) and I went out with friends and went home with someone. Retaliation maybe?

– Because I could no longer stand to be in the same room as him. To have his hands touch me made me sick to my stomach. Don’t even get me started about how mad it made me just having him look at me, to have him tell me I was ugly and fat.

– Married for almost 20 years. Sex once a year-ish. I was not attracted to him for much of it and he was not good to me- did not make me feel wanted or loved. He was a narcissist- gaslighted me for years. God forbid I feel good about myself. Much better now!

– I was afraid to leave. There was abuse. I disconnected in my head first.

– He was abusive and wouldn’t let me eat. Another man fed me and I ended up falling in love because I felt cared for, for once.

– Unhappy and unfulfilled. The relationship was emotionally abusive and I was too frightened to leave, so I stepped out instead. I’m not proud of that decision.

– I was in an abusive relationship full of gaslighting and control. I couldn’t find the exit (I broke up many times with the guy but he had mental power over me). He broke me so much, and I couldn’t stay anymore with him under any possible option. Because he was still pushing the idea that I don’t understand that what we had is love, and I just don’t see it and don’t realize I am actually depressed. But cheating was some confirmation for me that I’m done. Still feeling bad because of it but also haven’t realized for full 7 years after a breakup how severely abusive the relationship was. I’m in therapy now.

– Because he put me in a psych ward.

5. Cheating Turns Me On

Without personal experience cheating, it's tempting to judge the women here purely on the risk involved. For these women, though, the act itself functions as a genuine turn-on. Of course, plenty of ways to turn a woman on exist that don't involve infidelity at all!

– I love sneaking around.

– Not getting caught was exciting.

– It turns me on having to cheat and hide it. Even more when you have sex somewhere that if you get caught you get in problems.

– The thrill of getting caught.

– I was young and it was exciting.

– For forbidden sex!

– Because I felt like seducing and it excites me.

– Insecurity about the relationship. Wanting something forbidden.

– Getting something that doesn’t belong to you.

– (We were arguing bad and) fucking someone else then coming home to fuck my man was just a turn-on.

6. I Cheated With My Ex

For anyone who's ever worried about a partner reconnecting with an ex, it genuinely happens. Sleeping with an ex can be risky even outside a cheating context, yet these women decided it was worth the gamble regardless — whether lingering feelings or purely physical curiosity was the draw. Some of these stories also show that cheating and genuinely being in love with a current partner aren't necessarily mutually exclusive.

– Because I was still in love with my ex.

– I didn’t love him and I cheated with the father of my kids.

– Cheated with an ex to see if anything would come out of it.

– Because I was still in love with my ex and enjoyed his attention.

– Because he accused me of it over and over so my ex (the one I was accused of cheating with) and I said, “Why not? We are being accused of it.”

– Cause I was still in love with my ex.

– No sex! So I went to my ex!

– The sneaky ex called. I guess he must be like my forbidden fruit.

– Cheated on my partner with my ex. I missed my ex and I love him.

– Old flame. Was not happy in the relationship.

– To go back with an ex.

– I honestly don’t know. I was helping my ex to get with someone else and one thing led to another thing and we ended up having sex. It was just once. He got blocked the next day, and I honestly regret it and wish it didn’t happen because I have such a beautiful relationship with my boyfriend and I don’t wanna ruin it by telling him when it already happened, I’m over it, we’re both gonna suffer. So it’s not a good idea.

– I cheated with my ex-girlfriend, just to show her I can have her when I want, but all I thought about was him during the act.

7. The Sex Was Lousy

Sometimes, unsatisfying sex is genuinely the whole reason someone strays. This gets attributed to men more often, but women aren't immune to it either. For these respondents, infidelity offered access to satisfying sex they weren't getting at home, whether their partner lacked skill, focused purely on himself, or simply had different sexual tastes. Penis size occasionally factored in too. Fortunately, learning to pleasure a woman properly isn't complicated if selfishness in bed isn't your style!

– Lack of passion, sex, and his low sex drive. He is very vanilla and I crave more spice and dominance in the bedroom that he has never been able to give me.

– He wasn’t good to me and he was lacking in the sex performance department.

– Because at that time, sex just wasn’t the same with him. It turned into just him getting off and leaving me high and dry. If I got off, I got off; if I didn’t, I didn’t. I wanted to feel important again and like I was someone’s priority I wanted to sparkle again I wanted to feel like a woman again.

– Because he is no good in bed.

Learn how to be good in bed.

– I needed to be appreciated and needed to have exciting sex.

– I need to feel appreciated and fucked, not made love to. I want hardcore, kinkier sex and he won’t do it.

– Sex with my current partner was so boring! And he wasn’t giving me the attention and appreciation I wanted. My neighbor had been hitting on me for months. I finally decided to see how far he was willing to go. Well, he was willing to go all the way.

– Because there is no excitement in the bedroom, the relationship was boring, and he’s not giving me what I want out of the relationship.

– Looking for a more exciting and fulfilling sex life.

– 10+ years ago. I’m a young mother of 3, lonely, in the best shape of my life, and my sexual needs were not being met. I had shopped for sex help books that I brought home and discussed. A construction worker was refinishing our basement. We had sexual chemistry, and he picked me up!! I’d never ever been picked up by a man before!

– Not big enough, not good enough in bed.

– Because we were barely having sex & when we did, he wouldn’t get very hard & he would cum in minutes & not finish me off.

Learn how to get and stay hard. Learn how to last longer in bed.

– I wasn’t in love with him. I love sexual adventures and he wasn’t into it. He wanted a beige wife. I was the wrong girl.

– Need big cocks and I am a slut.

– Because I enjoy wild crazy sex and he is very conservative. Isn’t willing to try new things, which in turn made me stray.

– Very ashamed of it. I wasn’t getting what I needed at home and although I asked, my partner couldn’t adjust to my needs.

– I felt he just wasn’t at the same level of adventure as I was, and he is the type to not leave his safe zone. So after several conversations, nothing changed, and I met someone who just seemed shiny to me.

– Because he didn’t satisfy me.

– The man had a bigger cock.

– They weren’t touching me, at all! And I’m not exaggerating. He just sits there watching TV and won’t have sex. I’m sorry but I stepped out before I moved out. I could count on one hand the number of times we had sex over a 5 month period. It ended up that he had bad anxiety issues, though, to the point where he had to be hospitalized.

– I loved him but he had issues with performing oral.

– He was terrible in bed and refused to please me orally.

Psst, men: learn how to eat pussy.

8. My Partner Struggled To Physically Perform Sex

Sometimes the underlying reason married women cheat is genuinely frustrating for both partners. A man's physical difficulty in bed, whether medical or psychological, can chip away at both partners' self-esteem simultaneously. That strain can ultimately lead to infidelity when neither partner agrees on how central sex is to the relationship, or when neither actively works around the issue.

– He no longer can keep a hardon and is only about himself. He doesn’t try to make it all about me.

– He can’t have sex due to a medical condition and thinks it’s not important in a relationship. I disagree.

– Older Husband not interested in sex for over 10 years, tried everything and ended up by total chance meeting someone in a similar situation.

– Because due to spinal injuries his penis doesn’t stay erect, and sex with him is boring, and I have to pretend to come, so he can wank himself. I needed a guy with a nice-sized dick.

– The guy that I cheated on was having trouble staying hard (due to drug use) and in the words of Cardi B: “look, I need a hard hitter, I need a deep stroke.” lol.

– He couldn’t fuck me properly due to a bad back & leg.

– He is unable to perform sex.

– He couldn’t get hard and wasn’t interested in my orgasm. He lasted less than a minute, came and then pulled out leaving me aroused, alone, and unsatisfied.

Fix It: Learn How to Make Sex Last Longer

9. We Stopped Having Sex aka Dead Bedroom

While bad sex frequently drives infidelity, going without sex entirely turned out even worse for these women…

– I wasn’t in love with him anymore. We had not had sex in years.

– My ex-husband stopped having sex with me for over 2 years and ignored me.

– At the end of the marriage, we hadn’t slept together in 3 yrs. That helped clarify my divorce decisions.

– Hadn’t had sex in 18 years.

– We weren’t having sex. I crave that intimacy!

– My partner didn’t seem interested in sex & I wanted it. The other person made me feel alive.

– He stopped having sex with me for 5 years. He said he was having too much anxiety and he was stressed, but then he refused to see a therapist or work on it. Or even do alternative things in the bedroom.

– Legally, I cheated because we were still married but we hadn’t had sex in 6 months and we never had again afterward.

– I am in a sexless marriage.

– My ex-husband stopped having sex with me after we got married. I begged him to go to counseling with me or visit a doctor if there was something wrong, but he refused to do either. After 4 years of no sex, I threatened him to change or I’d find someone that would have sex with me – I found someone.

– We didn’t have sex at all and there was no physical affection. It felt like we were friends with a label. I think he wasn’t interested in me and we rushed the relationship.

10. I Needed More Sex

Some women who cheat already have an active sex life at home — they simply want more of it. Arguably one of the more self-focused reasons for infidelity, this also highlights that while plenty of women want to boost their sex drive, others deal with the opposite challenge of a drive that's genuinely too strong for a mismatched partner!

– I can’t get enough dick.

– Not getting what I need at home.

– My great libido and preference for multiple and new partners.

– He wasn’t as sexually driven as me.

– High sex drive and he has a very very low sex drive and has no interest in sex.

– Because one partner cannot satisfy me.

– I’m currently cheating on my spouse. I have so much free time and my husband’s sex drive is nothing close to mine. My husband is also not very experienced. My current sex partner (ex from college) easy, fun the best sex I’ve ever had. They are both opposites of each other. Josh is a friend from college who is a hockey player and a bad boy. He loves naughty pictures.

11. My Partner Allows/Encourages My Cheating

This next batch of answers lands in genuinely gray territory. Technically, cheating hinges entirely on broken trust — so a partner who explicitly permits or encourages it arguably isn't cheating at all in the traditional sense. Naturally, what works for one couple won't translate to every relationship. Straying without ever actually discussing it with a partner, though, genuinely counts as cheating regardless of any internal justification.

– I wouldn’t say cheat. He lets me play around.

– At first, my husband forced me to have sex with others. After that, I realized I got more attention from others so I continued.

– Because he told me to fuck others.

– We are poly (learn what polyamory is), he is ok with it.

– He told me I could.

– He literally told me to go after the person.

– Because we have an open marriage and we both take advantage of that fact. For the past seven years, it has worked well for us and we get to enjoy a man from time to time.

– My official partner had stopped wanting sex with me almost 10 years ago, and we allow each other to see other people.

– To spice up our sex lives. We have agreed to allow each other the freedom to experience new and different people as long as we share it with each other. Sometimes we even invite our new partners to join us.

– Because he pushed me to flirt with his best friend and it ended up being an affair.

12. I Found A Better Connection

What happens when you're already partnered and stumble into an incredible, genuine connection with someone new? For these women, that's exactly what led to infidelity.

– The person I cheated with stimulated not only my body but also my mind. I was able to talk to him about any topic and have an educational conversation. But he was also interested in some of the kinkier things I enjoyed that my current partner was not interested in.

– The other man just has something about him. Turns out he is a better sex partner and is very kinky. He’s taught me a lot about myself and to be a better lover.

– I was wildly attracted to another man. It was an insanely magnetic attraction for both of us.

– Didn’t love my husband and was wildly in love with the new guy.

– Fell in love with someone else.

– One time it was out of spite. The other time it was a better connection with someone else.

– The guy was very attracted to me and I to him. I wasn’t getting attention from my current love that I craved.

– We weren’t in love anymore. We slept on separate couches and rarely had sex. I started having intense feelings for my current partner. Like so intense. My pussy was wet just thinking about my current guy now. I had to put a tampon in cuz it was summer & it was just dripping down my leg. My ex fell asleep, and my now partner used his fingers. OMG, I came like 10 -20 times in like 5 minutes. I was done and broke up with the older guy very soon after and have been with my current partner for almost 6 years.

13. My Emotional Needs Were Not Being Met/The Emotional Connection Was Lacking

Plenty of men genuinely underestimate how crucial a strong emotional bond is for their female partner. They skip investing in it entirely, or simply never bother trying to connect on that level. For some women, that emotional void directly drives infidelity. That said, one respondent's story shows a relationship can still survive even after that.

– I 100% regret it but if I’m being honest, my emotional needs weren’t being met at all!

– We were losing our emotional connection.

– Lost any feelings I had long before I cheated.

– Emotionally, he did not do it for me, and I found a connection with somebody else.

– Emotional needs were not met and I wanted to be submissive instead of being the boss.

– He no longer catered to my emotional needs. I felt lonely in the relationship.

– The thing missing was the connection, we just got used to each other and got comfortable.

– No connection between us. The intimacy stopped.

– He was not giving me the attention that I wanted. In fact, it was almost as though I did not exist in his life. The only time he made for me was when he wanted to have sex, and after expressing my feelings to him, he didn’t change. So I cheated, and it was only then when he realized that he could lose me that he started changing his ways.

– Because I’d been in an unhappy marriage for 8 years. My brother-in-law had been unhappy in his marriage for 10 years. Our friendship wasn’t meant to turn into a full-blown relationship. Thank you lockdown!

– My emotional needs were not being met.

– Because I didn’t actually like him and because a girl had been pressuring me to sleep with her all night and waited until I was drunk and agreed.

– He was struggling with alcohol at the time and had become verbally abusive. He had his mouth around the bottle and not on me, I couldn’t compete with that, it was very hard. I had connected with people online. It was an emotional affair and not physical, and it was not my plan to cheat on my husband. In fact, it started out as a simple question I had posted about gardening, and before I knew it, this guy was telling me how pretty I was and asking me about my day and checking in with me. It slowly progressed to sexting and photos. It was like when you’re really thirsty and someone hands you a glass of water. I believe affairs don’t start in bedrooms, they start with conversations. Even though I never met this person in real life I feel the “emotional affair” can be just as tragic to a relationship sometimes even more than a physical affair. My husband and I have worked through this, and he no longer drinks. I found a support group “Alanon” to help me learn better ways to respond to him and he has full access to all my online passwords, etc. We still struggle in this area because I recently found out that a woman he went to high school with and is single and divorced has been texting each other for years. He let me read the texts and they appear to be in the “friend zone” but I know how these things start. We just have to be open and honest with each other and protect our marriage from outsiders the best we can.

14. I Needed To Feel Desired/Wanted/Needed/Appreciated

Feeling genuinely desired plays a real role in a woman's sexuality, fueling arousal and connection with a partner. So it's genuinely unsurprising that not feeling wanted contributes heavily to infidelity for plenty of these women, especially once someone else finally provides that missing attention.

– Getting no attention or intimacy from him and was being turned down when I would ask for sex.

– Lack of feeling needed, wanted and desired.

– There was not enough attention and I want to feel wanted.

– I wasn’t getting enough attention, I’m insecure with myself.

– Lack of appreciation/attention but have also cheated due to bad sex in the relationship and the guy unwilling to discuss it.

– Showed no interest in me at that time. Like roommates, not a couple.

– I felt small. Ignored. That I was no longer desired. Someone paid attention to me—and saw me for a beautiful, sexual woman–something my partner completely glossed over at the time.

– It was great to feel desired and be noticed and sought after.

– I was unhappy in my marriage, lonely, and wanted to feel special. We had fallen out of love.

– He was not very affectionate, never let me feel like he really loved me. I was so starved for passion with a person who wasn’t afraid of their feelings… It was the end of the long-term relationship.

– Our sex life no longer existed, I didn’t felt loved wanted, desired. He stopped making me feel like I existed. Like he stopped making me feel wanted.

– Lonely marriage, unappreciated, spark and passion wasn’t there. Started getting that manly attention from another and fell so easily into the feeling of passion, appreciation, encouragement, importance, priority.

– Needed to feel wanted.

​​- Because he gave me no attention and was so closed off, he showed no love or romance towards me so I went somewhere else. No excuse I know.

– We had been together for a really long time. We had been high school sweethearts. We were good friends, but I think we stayed together because it seemed like the next logical step and everyone thought we were a forever thing. When we moved for college, he was busy as an athlete on a scholarship. Other guys gave me attention and noticed me in ways he didn’t. It felt good to feel pursued and wanted. One guy was especially persistent. My commitment was weak and my integrity, obviously, was weaker. I should have shown my boyfriend the respect to end things before I explored anything with someone else. It felt gross to be with someone behind his back. Definitely not a decision I am proud of, and I regret it every time I reflect on the situation.

– There wasn’t passion anymore and a lack of attention. I need to feel sexy and wanted and that didn’t happen anymore.

15. I Was Bored With Him or the Relationship

Do some women cheat purely out of boredom? Absolutely.

– He was a lot older than me, and I was bored.

– Because I was attracted to the other person and it just was not exciting anymore with my partner.

– He was boring and didn’t respect me or challenge me.

– Part boredom and part liking the attention from someone new.

– Was attracted to the person and in a place where the relationship was boring.

– My marriage of 20 years has become a roommate situation and I have found someone else.

– The first time, I was bored. Mentally and physically not stimulated, and an opportunity arose. I didn’t actually have sex with the other person but did give him a blow job.

– The relationship was dull and boring. I craved some excitement and something new.

– I felt bored and taken for granted.

– He wasn’t present and we treated each other as roommates.

16. I Was Young (& Often Dumb)

Plenty of women point to youth as the underlying cause of their cheating. Naturally, plenty of young people never cheat at all, but genuinely sound decision-making does get harder at that age — entering a relationship in the first place included.

– I was young and fucked up.

– I was young and stupid. I split up with him afterward because he didn’t deserve it. I didn’t tell him what I’d done. I was 19.

– Stupidity. I was very young and incredibly dumb. Communication would have changed that and I learned a big lesson the hard way.

– I was young and dumb, literally just got caught in the heat of the moment.

– I was under the age of 21 and I didn’t know any better. Now, I don’t cheat, if I don’t want to be with somebody, I just leave.

– I was very young and horny and my boyfriend had health issues. One of his friends cracked into me and we had sex.

– It was at the end of the relationship and I was young and stupid.

– I don’t really know. A long time ago I was young, horny.

– I was very young and was only dating him because my friends thought we would make a great couple. I should have broken up with him, or never gotten together in the first place.

– I was young (17) and naive and will not do it again.

– He was my 1st. We were together age 14-19 & I found out he was going to propose to me and I freaked out and had a one-night stand but told him right after because I felt so bad. He still wanted to stay with me, but we broke up because I wanted to see what else was out there. We still talk today as friends.

– I was young and stupid. I should have ended my relationship but I was scared to because of committing to a mortgage. Our relationship was in a bad way because his daughter lived with us and she was horrible to me. Another person showed me some attention and made me feel wanted and desired.

– Because I was young and we’d literally only just gotten together and I wanted to try something. I didn’t really take our relationship seriously.

– I was a dumb and drunk teenager (18) who decided it was a good idea to try and sleep with an ex because we weren’t successful when we were dating. We didn’t get far because he couldn’t get hard enough, but that was still cheating to me.

17. Lust

Sometimes nothing's genuinely wrong with a relationship or its emotional foundation — lust alone drives the cheating instead. Hormones and pure attraction can combine into a genuinely powerful force behind infidelity. And the same logic, incidentally, applies equally to men.

– Just to feel the other guy’s kissing and touching and fucking cause I was attracted to him.

– Because she never had the cock I needed at the time.

– Wasn’t a man and I needed cock.

– Needed dick.

– He was hot.

– I was really attracted sexually to that person. Couldn’t help myself.

– I lusted after my mister.

– I was horny and I am human.

– I was looking for passion and emotional attention, my ex-husband was verbally abusive. I wanted to be worshiped and he was incapable. The feeling of lust is a high and like a drug and lured me to someone else’s arms.

– Nothing to do with my partner, more to do with lust for the other person.

18. I Was Dealing With Personal Issues

Life rarely runs perfectly, and sometimes our reactions to that reality genuinely fall short. At minimum, these women point to stressful life events, low self-worth, or other personal struggles as the driving force behind their cheating. Genuinely, working through those struggles directly beats reaching for infidelity as a coping mechanism.

– I was dealing with my own issues.

– Depressed.

– Not happy with myself. Felt unwanted.

– Loneliness at the time, but after my last divorce, I am learning that I had so many unresolved issues that contributed to my cheating on 2 husbands. I wish I would have figured it out sooner. No one deserves to be cheated on.

– Cuz I can’t control myself.

– I didn’t physically cheat but I emotionally cheated by confiding in someone else. I really don’t know why I did it, I think I just had a lot of issues and insecurities within myself.

– Cos I had a sex addiction (find out why you’re so horny) at the time and was living a very loose way of living.

– Because I had low self-esteem and I felt like I wasn’t enough for my boyfriend so I went to someone I felt like I was enough for.

– Wasn’t in love with them anymore and wasn’t having sex with them but didn’t know how to end it as my self-esteem was non-existent, and another man honed in on my vulnerabilities.

– Because I was a very broken woman in a loveless marriage, who should have left a year before the cheating occurred. I had lost a dear friend to suicide and my now ex-husband wasn’t there for me. It was one of the worst losses I had been through. A coworker started grooming me and seeing this broken girl, sweet-talked me, and acted like he cared about what was happening to me. Over time, he wore me down and I gave in. I hated myself for a while after to where I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror. It was a very dark time. I own it though.

– Low self-esteem and I underestimated how much I meant to my partner

19. I Did It For Money

Sometimes financial desperation drives a woman toward infidelity. When bills pile up, sex for money can feel like the only remaining option, relationship or not. Unlike the emotionally-driven reasons covered above, these tend to be isolated incidents rather than ongoing affairs.

– It was an arrangement when I was completely down on my luck in a very tight spot. This older guy offered to help us out of the situation if I were to have sex with him. I know it’s ridiculous, and it made me feel the worst I’ve ever felt in my life, but the money helped my partner and I with some bills. He was never the wiser and wasn’t stressed out about the bills. It still made me feel the worst ever and since then I haven’t because I don’t want to be that person and I don’t want to hurt him.

– Because I had to make money so I had to work the corner.

20. I Was Selfish

Some would argue every woman who cheats is inherently selfish, but we grouped the responses below specifically because they offered no clear alternative explanation. Other underlying causes may exist for these women too, simply unstated in their answers. One thing's genuinely clear: plenty of these women probably shouldn't have committed to their relationship in the first place.

– I tend to do what I want and figure if I won’t get caught, why not?

– I like to have sexual experiences with different people.

– Bc I like variety.

– Because it was fun to kiss other, random people.

– Because the sex was better with the other guy.

– I was already on my knees and he whipped out his cock and made me suck and I didn’t resist because I’m a slut.

– After so many years with the only partner I’ve ever been with, I wanted to experience something new and fresh and exciting.

– I don’t know. Honestly! The person was a surprise to me. I’m a person who is a germaphobe. I scorn when it comes to my sense of smell and touch. Therefore I am not willing to be with anyone else but my partner. But there was this one man I just allowed him. His voice, the way he looked at me, the way he treated me, the way he would touch me (non sexually), the way he appeals to my taste buds (through food), the conversations we would have again (non-sexual).

– Because I felt like being spontaneous – zero feelings were involved.

– Started sleeping with someone when we were in an open long-distance relationship and would occasionally do it again even after we switched to a more exclusive monogamish relationship.

– I cheated on my partner because I expected way too much from him when we were seeing each other. I forgot he isn’t Prince Charming; he is human and still makes mistakes. I expected too much because my ex was toxic and was my first love. I was easily manipulated by him and he hurt me over and over. When I finally ended it and moved on, that’s what happened with my partner a month later and I regret it for the rest of my life.

– There is no real reason for cheating but for me at home I am the dominating partner taking care of home duties. Being with someone else allows me to be the other more sexual side of myself that gets lost in everyday relationships.

– I really don’t know other than he wasn’t taking care of everything as he should have but I should have just stayed single because I just love cock.

– Because I still wanted to explore.

– Because I wanted to. With 4 different men. I am a narcissist and have no morals.

– I think it’s in my nature, I was unsatisfied in the relationship.

– This bad boy type known for his huge penis talked me into meeting him and I knew he would fuck me and I wanted to experience sex with a partner that had a 9”+ cock.

Can’t get enough of unbelievable stories? Check out these true-life sex stories from our readers!

21. We Had Bad Communication

It might sound cliché, but genuine communication remains essential to both a healthy relationship and a satisfying sex life. Several of the women below might have sidestepped infidelity entirely by openly discussing sex — and everything else — with their partner.

– It honestly was a communication issue. We both had different meanings of a “break”.

– I hadn’t yet learned to communicate what I really wanted from my partner.

– There was a phase in our lives where we drifted apart. I found out that another girl was very interested in him, and she did everything to get him hooked. It didn‘t work, though, because he always loved me. However, it was a hard time for me. I had personal issues of not being enough and not being attractive. There was a misunderstanding. I thought they had kissed, but it never happened and before I knew the truth, someone who was very interested in me, convinced me to have sex with him whilst being drunk. The worst mistake of my life.

– I was unaware that he thought we were exclusive.

– It was in a swing relationship. We didn’t communicate clearly with each other. He was swinging with single females. I felt left out so I had sex with a swinging single male.

22. We Were Long Distance/Not Together Often Enough

Unsurprisingly, distance often creates real openings for infidelity. Plenty of respondents pointed to this as the opportunity, even when it wasn't necessarily the core motivation.

– I went away to college far away and got wrapped up in it. Long-distance isn’t the best.

– He stays away distant. Sometimes, you get lonely.

– He left me to work a job in California I didn’t agree to. I was alone for almost 2 years. It was very painful and lonely.

– We were in a long-distance relationship.

– I was out of the country and met someone. One thing led to another, and it happened. I felt bad about it afterward.

– Because my partner was not around.

– He’d been traveling a lot and the older man had been a fantasy. Plus, I was drunk and horny.

– I was upset because my partner was away working and I let my imagination work overtime assuming he was cheating on me because I couldn’t get a hold of him on the phone.

– I was curious about her and she was curious about me. My partner at the time was living in a different city, and the other person was here and we had very strong chemistry.

– He was in jail.

– Was left alone 90% of the time, and when he was there he wasn’t a pleasant person.

– Because I wanted to experience something else instead of the same old thing plus he was in jail at the time

– Don’t know and then went to prison for 7 yrs.

– My boyfriend went to jail for eight months and I started hanging out with a mutual friend. One thing led to another, so I broke up with my boyfriend because I had been with someone else and that wasn’t fair to him.

– Because he was in jail.

– He lived far away and the other guy paid me a lot of attention.

23. Other Reasons Why Married Women Cheat

The remaining reasons genuinely resist tidy categorization, so we've grouped them together here. Hard as it might be to believe, some women who cheated had zero genuine intention of doing so! Sometimes there's simply no single, identifiable cause — it just happens.

– Peer pressure.

– I got back together with him to make family and friends happy. I was not happy, so I cheated.

– I didn’t do it on purpose.

– I don’t know, honestly. Maybe I was searching for something. I regret it though.

– An opportunity presented itself.

– Because I knew he wasn’t “the one,” so I was willing to risk losing him for the “good time”.

– Was feeling low after the death of someone close to me.

– Long story short: I was drunk but that’s not the excuse; I was not ready to be in a relationship and it was the first relationship for me so I wasn’t used to only having sex with one person but now I learned from my mistake and Ima never let smth like that happen ever again!

– I was extremely high to the point that I didn’t know what was happening till it was done. Maybe that’s more assault and less infidelity.

– I don’t know. I’ve only ever been tempted 3 times in the 15 years I have been with my man. This is the first time I’ve actually done anything and that was just a few kisses and gave the guy head.

– I just think monogamy is quite a difficult goal to maintain “forever”. Easy if nothing tempts you, not easy if someone does. I’m very picky so it’s never been a common problem but when someone does really, really, really excite me both intellectually and sexually, it’s very difficult for me not to feed that fire. It has nothing to do with the love I have for my husband. But it’s obviously a problem if one has made a vow and has trouble honoring it.

– Hmmmm….we were having problems, alcohol was involved, therefore I had a lack of good judgment that led to infidelity.

– I wanted a baby.

– Homosexual urges.

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So women cheat for only 1 reason?

No.

Working through these stories, you'll likely notice they rarely fit neatly into a single box. More often, a primary reason drives the cheating, with several secondary factors layered underneath. We've sorted the responses above based on whichever cause seemed to dominate.

Additional notes/research on why women cheat

Female infidelity is unfortunately fairly common, occurring in an estimated 20 percent of marriages, compared to over 25 percent among married men [1]. A separate study found nearly a quarter of men (23.2%) and 19.2% of women reported "cheating" within their current relationship [2]. These figures cover married couples specifically. Part of the discrepancy across studies may trace back to lower self-reported cheating rates in in-person interviews, suggesting genuine reluctance to admit these behaviors face-to-face [3].

What Is Considered Cheating?

Before digging further into infidelity, pinning down exactly what "cheating" means matters. That's trickier than it sounds, though — no universal consensus exists on the definition, and perspectives shift considerably across individuals and cultures [4].

Some men consider a partner's kiss, flirtation, sexual daydream about someone else, or, in our digital era, a text, call, or racy photo sent to someone else, as genuine cheating. Not everyone agrees these count, though. Some reserve the "cheating" label strictly for physical affairs, while others view emotional affairs as an equally real betrayal.

Plenty of people only classify behavior as cheating once physical sexual contact enters the picture — "going through the bases," essentially. At minimum, most agree intercourse itself — "going all the way" — genuinely qualifies.

Frequency matters in these judgments too. A single incident often gets labeled a mistake, while an ongoing affair reads as genuine cheating to most. Others consider a single occurrence more than sufficient regardless.

Ultimately, couples benefit from explicitly defining cheating for themselves within their own relationship, minimizing the risk of miscommunication and keeping both partners genuinely aligned [5].

Do men and women genuinely differ in how they weigh physical versus emotional infidelity? One study backed the widely held idea that women prioritize emotional affairs over physical ones. The theory holds that women worry more about relationship stability and resource security when a partner's emotionally cheating — since that scenario more plausibly signals genuine love and a real risk of him leaving — compared to physical cheating alone, which may not carry the same departure risk. Research also found a smaller majority of men more concerned about physical infidelity than emotional infidelity from a female partner [6].

Further Research On Why Women Cheat

One study examining cheating's underlying drivers pointed to low relationship satisfaction and mismatched "sexual attitudes and values" as leading causes. The research found relationship-level factors influenced women's cheating more heavily than demographic factors, though individual sexual personality traits played a role too [7].

Psst, men cheat for plenty of the same underlying reasons.

While exploring female infidelity's roots, it's worth noting genuine research links higher attachment anxiety with elevated cheating risk [1]. Attachment anxiety describes an insecure attachment style rooted in perceiving a partner as less consistently available — a perception that can shape behavior accordingly.

Demographics

Research also suggests cheating rates vary meaningfully across different populations of women. Two groups showing elevated cheating likelihood: upper-income women and genuinely unhappy women [8].

Women across all age ranges are capable of cheating, though it tends to cluster within childbearing years. One study focused on adolescents found differing definitions of cheating by age, with older teens weighing genital contact more heavily than younger ones. Interestingly, female adolescents were more likely to count non-physical affairs as cheating, while male adolescents leaned toward defining it strictly around genital contact [9].

College-aged individuals showed elevated cheating rates in one particular study. Focused on Northern California, it found over 60 percent of students had experienced some sexual form of cheating. Male and female students proved equally likely to cheat sexually, though men were more likely than women to view cheating in a favorable light overall [2].

Within the college population specifically, one study found personal traits mattered more than situational circumstances in predicting cheating — factors like maximizing tendencies, selfishness, and avoidant attachment (another insecure attachment style) [10].

A college degree didn't meaningfully affect women's own cheating rates in one study, though women were somewhat less likely to cheat on husbands who held degrees themselves. Religious involvement also correlated with somewhat lower cheating rates [8].

A broader review of survey data found cohabiting relationships without marriage tend to lack the same stability, negatively affecting several relationship outcomes, infidelity included. The review confirmed cohabiting couples showed higher infidelity rates than married couples [11].

Genuine research gaps exist around cheating specifically within homosexual relationships, leaving it unclear whether infidelity rates run higher, comparable, or lower than in heterosexual relationships.

One study of married American women found elevated cheating probability among:

• Women who lived with their husbands premaritally
• Women with a history of childhood sexual abuse
• Women with a higher lifetime count of sexual partners
• Remarried women

That probability dropped among religious women, and with increasing age and education level. The study did flag some genuine inconsistency across research when it comes to demographic predictors of cheating [3].

Economic dependence on a spouse is another factor linked to elevated cheating risk, mirroring the same pattern seen in financially dependent men. Research found feeling dependent, and lacking genuine equality within the partnership, raises cheating likelihood overall. Related to that: women contributing significantly to household income showed reduced cheating likelihood themselves — actually reaching their lowest cheating risk when serving as primary breadwinner, even as that same dynamic raised their male partner's cheating risk instead [13].

Is It Possible to Prevent a Female Partner From Cheating?

Is this genuinely hopeless? Should anyone with a female partner simply brace for eventual infidelity? Not at all. Cheating isn't universal or inevitable. While it might seem like some people are simply cheating-prone and others aren't, real, actionable steps genuinely reduce the odds of a female partner straying.

Nor does cheating once guarantee it'll happen again.

As covered above, relationship dissatisfaction is a genuine driver of infidelity. So building a close, meaningful connection can meaningfully reduce the urge to seek fulfillment elsewhere. Concrete steps that help: genuinely listening to what she says, prioritizing shared activities she enjoys, and directly asking about her needs within the relationship.

Couples with genuinely open communication might also explore "perceptual downgrading" together — a technique helping both women and men consciously view people outside the relationship as less attractive [17]. This tends to happen automatically within a committed relationship anyway, though deliberately reinforcing it may be possible too.

How to Get Past Cheating

Once a female partner has cheated, moving forward in the relationship can range from genuinely difficult to seemingly impossible. Whether repair is achievable, or even desired, depends heavily on the specific relationship and both partners' personal outlook. When both genuinely want to try, several paths exist toward moving past the infidelity.

Do you want it to work? – Both partners need to genuinely commit to making things work, investing real effort into healing and strengthening the relationship across multiple fronts. Couples counseling, alongside individual therapy with a licensed professional, can genuinely help kickstart that process [18]. Some research suggests men show greater willingness to repair a relationship after a partner's sexual infidelity specifically, while same-sex couples show comparable willingness to move forward regardless of whether the cheating was physical or emotional — with same-sex couples actually showing stronger relationship-healing outcomes after sexual infidelity than heterosexual couples [19].

In some cases, ending the relationship genuinely is the healthier path.

Female infidelity stems from a genuinely wide range of causes, though it often traces back to relationship dissatisfaction, certain demographic patterns, or gravitating toward men who read as strong reproductive candidates. Once cheating comes to light, partners generally have a few options for moving forward.

They can choose to end things, or continue on a trial basis to gauge whether repair is realistic. Alternatively, genuine forgiveness paired with continued commitment is another path. Research shows forgiveness becomes considerably more likely when the person who cheated offers a genuine, remorseful apology paired with a real desire to repair the relationship [20].

FAQs on Women Cheating

FAQ #1: Does a woman’s biology affect whether she cheats or not?

Plenty of theory suggests female infidelity connects, on some instinctual and biological level, to reproduction itself. In other words, a woman may genuinely be unaware that this biological pull factors into her cheating at all, even as her body nudges her toward straying with conception as the underlying "goal."

Interestingly, women grow measurably more prone to cheating during the most fertile window of their menstrual cycle. Logically, that tracks, given the body's underlying drive toward conception during that window.

Research from UCLA and the University of New Mexico backs this up directly. Ovulation was found to heighten certain feelings that can encourage infidelity — increased feelings of desirability, attractiveness, and power within relationships. One key finding: certain relationship types showed elevated cheating risk specifically. Women who found their male partner well-suited for long-term commitment, yet lacking in physical attractiveness, showed a measurably increased tendency to notice more attractive men during ovulation, compared to women who already found their partner genuinely attractive [14].

Additional research further confirmed this pattern — increased attention toward other men during ovulation specifically among women whose relationships centered more on security than genuine attraction [15].

There's also a theory that women may gravitate toward affair partners perceived as having stronger reproductive or socioeconomic potential — essentially, "better genes." This may explain why infidelity likelihood peaks around age 45, roughly aligning with the natural tail end of childbearing years [8].

FAQ #2: Does a Woman’s Attractiveness Have Anything to Do With Cheating?

A woman's own sense of attractiveness can genuinely influence her cheating likelihood, tied closely to self-confidence. A Rutgers University study found women more satisfied with their own bodies showed elevated cheating likelihood, particularly when dissatisfied with their partner or relationship overall. Researchers noted these women didn't appear to cheat as a way of boosting self-worth, but rather in genuine pursuit of someone who made them happier [16].

Now that you know some common causes of cheating…

Surprised by what these women actually cited as their reasons? Maybe you judged a cheating partner too quickly before reading these firsthand accounts. Or perhaps your worst assumptions about female infidelity just got confirmed.

And if you're curious why men cheat too, we've got a full piece on that as well!

Share your own take on women who cheat in the comments below. Or if you've been in that position yourself, tell us your own reasoning — we'd genuinely love to hear it.

September 20, 2021