How To Masturbate As A Woman: A 7 Step Guide To Better Orgasms

Most people know Love Curi as the place to learn how to drive a man wild with pleasure, but today the focus shifts — this guide covers everything worth knowing about masturbation and giving yourself incredible orgasms.

You'll also find detailed illustrations along the way, making it easy to follow exactly what's happening and how to squeeze the most pleasure out of masturbating.

Learning to masturbate is fun, entirely natural, and one of many ways to stop being horny. The real upside of masturbation is discovering your own body — what feels good when touched, caressed, and stimulated, and which areas respond the most. Understanding how your body reaches orgasm through regular masturbation makes it far easier to orgasm with a partner during sex too.

Step #1 – Your Anatomy

You might want to skip straight to the "How To" section, but working through this anatomy rundown first will genuinely lead to more powerful orgasms every time you masturbate.

The diagram above highlights the key external parts of your vagina.

Clitoral Hood – Near the top, you'll spot your clitoral hood — the small flap of skin covering your clitoris. Its main job is simply shielding your highly sensitive clitoris from harm.

Clitoris – Your clitoris is likely the single most important part of your body for finger-based masturbation. That tiny, nerve-packed nub delivers incredible sensation once properly stimulated, and as the diagram shows, it sits just beneath your clitoral hood.

Labia Majora & Labia Minora – These are the folds of skin lining the outside of your vagina, with the labia majora noticeably larger than the labia minora. Sensitivity here varies quite a bit from woman to woman — some find stimulation here deeply pleasurable, others barely notice it.

Urethral Opening – This is simply where urine exits, so it won't play any role in masturbation.

Vagina – Beyond the clit, your vagina is the other region packed with sensitivity, responding well to fingers or a dildo/vibrator. Several different approaches exist, all explained with diagrams below.

Anus – Loaded with nerve endings of its own, the anus can also feel quite pleasurable when stimulated. Find more on anal play in this guide.

Beyond the clit, urethra, and anus already covered, a couple more spots deserve attention — two particularly rewarding zones known as the G Spot and A Spot.

G Spot – Sitting roughly 2-3 inches (5-7.5 cm) inside the front wall of the vagina, the G Spot won't feel especially pleasurable until you're genuinely aroused, as covered in the G Spot article. Go looking for it before you're properly turned on, and you'll likely struggle to even find it.

For a deeper dive into the G Spot, along with masturbation and sex techniques centered on it, check out this article. Prefer the science-heavy version? The Wikipedia entry here covers plenty of ground too.

A Spot – As the diagram shows, the A Spot sits considerably deeper in the vagina, near the cervix on the front wall. Stimulating it can trigger remarkably intense vaginal orgasms, though reaching it with fingers alone is tricky — a dildo tends to work better here. You'll also see the A Spot called the deep spot, AFE zone, or even the "epicenter." Learn more about it on Wikipedia here.

Vagina – The vagina's entire length carries sensitivity and feels great when stimulated, particularly around the A and G Spots mentioned above.

Cervix – Highly sensitive territory — some women love cervical stimulation during masturbation and sex, while others can't tolerate even light pressure there.

Rectum – This is what you'll encounter just past the anal opening. Whether stimulating this area appeals to you is entirely personal — experimentation is the best way to find out. Our anal sex guide can help.

Step #2 – The Set-Up

Masturbation becomes far more enjoyable when you're relaxed and comfortable, so a little advance planning pays off. Make sure you won't be interrupted, unless that's actually part of the appeal! Usually that means locking your bedroom door so no one bursts in unexpectedly, or timing things for when you have the place to yourself if there's no lock available.

Based on conversations with students, a slow, relaxed buildup tends to lead to more satisfying orgasms. Given the time, running a bubble bath or taking a long, unhurried shower beforehand can be a great way to get in the mood for sexual activity.

Read: Tips for masturbating with the shower head.

You may have heard elsewhere that candles, incense, and the right music can elevate the experience — and that's true. But setting all that up can feel like a chore. Experiment and figure out what genuinely works for you; you might discover you barely need any prep at all.

Step #3 – The Build Up

With everything set up and no interruptions expected, it's time to actually get started. First-timers might find it easier to orgasm with the lights off, tucked under the covers.

But don't dive straight for your clitoris or vagina just yet!

The urge to get right to it is understandable, but a gradual buildup pays off. Start by slowly running your hands from your thighs up toward your stomach and across your breasts. Tune into your body to figure out where feels best — maybe it's your breasts, your inner thighs, or your waist. Experimentation is the whole point here, since everyone's body responds differently.

Spend a minute or two on this before finally letting one hand drift down toward your crotch. This slower approach is exactly what makes the eventual orgasm hit that much harder.

Step #4 – How To Actually Masturbate

Now for the main event of this guide! The basics get covered here, but for more advanced techniques, check out this advanced masturbation technique guide and this one on fingering yourself.

Focusing On Your Clit

The simplest approach is rubbing your clit directly with a finger — many women's go-to method for masturbating and reaching orgasm. Plenty of variations exist here too, from a light single-finger touch to a firmer four-finger motion, using a pillow, or targeting the U Spot specifically.

For 15 distinct masturbation techniques complete with detailed demonstrations, check out the masturbation techniques guide here.

Phenomenal Fingering Techniques

Once clitoral and external stimulation feels familiar, it's worth exploring the pleasure available internally through fingering. The basic move is simple: slide a lubricated finger in and apply pressure wherever feels best.

That basic approach alone probably won't deliver body-shaking pleasure, though. For genuinely earth-shattering orgasms from fingering, check out the illustrated guide to fingering yourself here.

A Lot Of Extra Techniques

Clitoral stimulation and fingering might seem like the whole picture, but there's plenty more to explore. Curious about experiencing female ejaculation and squirting during masturbation? Check out these detailed instructions.

Sex toys are another avenue worth adding to the mix. Click here to learn eight ways to use your vibrator for wave after wave of intense stimulation, and don't overlook dildos either. For exactly how to incorporate a dildo into masturbation for genuinely intense pleasure, read the Dildo Guide here.

Step #5 – Bringing Yourself To Orgasm

There's a common trap worth avoiding while learning to masturbate: fixating on the idea that you "have to" orgasm. That mindset creates pressure, which paradoxically makes orgasm less likely. A better approach drops any specific goal entirely, treating the whole thing as:

Enjoying the process, regardless of what happens.

That said, reaching orgasm isn't especially complicated once you get there. Just locate the spot, technique, and intensity level you enjoy most, and stay focused there while tuning into your body's response.

For more detailed orgasm tips, make sure to check out the super in-depth Orgasm Guide.

Step #6 -Masturbation With Penetration

Some women find penetration during masturbation takes pleasure to another level entirely. Several approaches exist here.

G Spot Masturbation – Try penetrating with your fingers to apply direct pressure to your G Spot. If your hand tires out, a dildo can take over. For more on internal masturbation and G Spot orgasms specifically, check out this article on fingering yourself and read this one on your G Spot.

A Spot masturbation – Reaching your A Spot during masturbation typically requires a dildo, since it sits too deep for comfortable finger access. Rather than repeating the technique details here, they're covered in this article on how to have a vaginal orgasm.

Step #7 – Masturbation With A Vibrator

Vibrators can deliver seriously intense pleasure, but before rushing out to buy one, keep these two things in mind:

1) Vibrators can be genuinely too intense for some women — to the point where the sensation tips into discomfort rather than pleasure.
2) Budget vibrators often come with just one speed, which gets frustrating if you're after something slower and gentler. If you're serious about great masturbation sessions, springing for a model with variable speeds is worth the extra cost.

You can read the entire guide to using your vibrator here.

For even more powerful masturbation tips and ideas, including how to find and stimulate your U Spot, check out this second article covering the most effective techniques, along with this one on fingering yourself.

February 9, 2018