How to Grind on Your Partner – A Complete How-To

Here's a full rundown on grinding during foreplay and sex so you can maximize clitoral sensation and overall pleasure.

What Exactly Is Grinding?

Just like it sounds, grinding means pressing and rubbing your body against your partner's — typically your genitals or pelvic area against theirs, although plenty of people enjoy grinding other body parts too.

Why It's Such a Rewarding Technique

It stimulates the clitoris – Grinding feels amazing largely because it engages the vulva and, in particular, the clitoris (locating the clitoris). For a lot of people, the sensation resembles their usual masturbation habits more than intercourse does, which ramps up both pleasure and orgasm potential.

Related: Getting intense clitoral and vaginal orgasms during sex.

It reaches different spots inside – During penetrative sex, grinding lets you shift the angle of contact without changing depth, hitting internal areas such as the A-Spot.

It's popular with people of all anatomies – This isn't exclusively a clit-focused technique! Many people with penises love grinding on a partner too — it's even become its own style of dance. Some like to pair sexual grinding with anal penetration, and it can enhance prostate play as well.

There are extra perks too: you can grind fully clothed, without any mess, and without pregnancy or STI risk. It's also a nice option during your period if you'd rather avoid the mess of penetration or find penetration uncomfortable at that time — though period sex has its own appeal too.

Grinding Techniques During Penetration

Grinding while penetrated mostly comes down to simple hip movement, but there's plenty of room to experiment and discover your own preferences.

Back-and-forth motion – This is the simplest place to start experimenting. When done on top, back-and-forth movement is sometimes called "scooting."

Read now: 18 satisfying woman-on-top positions.

Side-to-side motion – Rocking side to side is another option worth trying if it feels good to you.

Circles – Circular hip movement against your partner (or whatever you're grinding on) can feel wonderful too. Don't stress about tracing a perfect circle — just stay present in the moment.

Blended rhythms – Combine circular and back-and-forth movement for other rhythmic patterns, or add pauses if that suits your style better.

Letting your partner grind on you – The motion doesn't have to come from you — your partner can do the grinding instead, and this works regardless of who's on top.

Grinding in sync – Moving together simultaneously is another option, though getting the timing right can take practice.

Drawing them in – Using your hands to pull your partner closer can help you find just the right angle.

Lifting your hips – In missionary, the partner on bottom can lift their hips for closer contact. A pillow or sex wedge tucked underneath can help maintain that lift.

Related: 9 sex-wedge positions, illustrated.

Grinding with a position pillow – Penetrative grinding doesn't require direct body contact only — a position pillow works especially well in positions like doggy style and various anal sex positions where partners face away from each other. Certain sex pillows even include pockets designed to hold a vibrator or wand for grinding against.

Using a dedicated grinder toy – Several brands make sex toys called grinders, built specifically for this purpose. They're a favorite among some lesbian couples (a guide to lesbian sex), and many include vibration for extra sensation, plus they double as solo-play toys, as covered further down.

Related: 14 lesbian sex positions for reliable orgasms.

Grinding against a cock ring – A wider cock ring gives you more surface to grind against than a slimmer one (using a cock ring) — especially helpful if you have a fuller vulva or your clitoris sits further from the vaginal opening.

Adding other toys – Small vibrators tucked between your bodies during sex can also serve grinding purposes. Look specifically for "lay-on" vibes, couples' toys, or compact bullets.

Learn: Using a vibrator for powerful orgasms.

Watch Out for Penis Position

Grinding can put your partner's penis in an uncomfortable or awkward bend, so make sure you're both comfortable speaking up mid-act to adjust.

Get: Tips for talking openly about sex.

Best Positions for Grinding

A handful of positions lend themselves especially well to grinding.

Thigh Tide

Thigh Tide is an excellent choice for grinding thanks to the leverage you get from gripping your partner's knee. There are even grinding toys with thigh harnesses or straps if your partner doesn't have a penis but you still want penetration (deep-penetration advice) — some come textured specifically for grinding.

Go deeper: The Thigh Tide position.

Coital Alignment Technique

Known as CAT, this is a spin on missionary where the partner on top shifts their body forward, letting the partner underneath grind their clitoris against the mons pubis (the area just above the base of the penis).

More: A guide to the Coital Alignment Technique.

Cowgirl

Cowgirl lends itself nicely to grinding, particularly with a pillow beneath your partner's hips or a toy tucked between your bodies. Another trick: have your partner press a flat hand against their own mons pubis, near the base of their penis or dildo, so you can grind against their knuckles — a technique known as the Vulcan.

More tips: The Cowgirl position.

Drill

Drill can also work well for grinding, especially if you use your legs to draw your partner in close or lift your own body.

More pleasure: The Drill position.

Jughead

In this unusual position, the penetrating partner rests their upper body on the floor with legs propped on furniture, tilting their hips in a way that can make grinding feel especially good.

Discover: The Jughead position.

Face to Face

This position supports grinding as long as you press in close enough for solid contact. If the furniture height isn't cooperating, switch it up: have your partner sit while you straddle their lap and grind in the Mastery position instead.

More: The Face to Face position.

Lotus

Finally, there's a position that doesn't leave much room for thrusting, which makes it ideal for grinding instead. Lotus is also remarkably intimate, letting you share breath together — a hallmark of tantric sex.

Go deeper: The Lotus position.

Browse our full library of sex positions for even more ideas.

Grinding Outside of Penetrative Sex

There's a whole set of outercourse techniques you can pull from to level up your grinding.

On your partner's leg

Grinding against a partner's leg tends to feel natural since a thigh fits so easily between yours. It's a core part of dry humping, and some people don't even distinguish between "humping" and "grinding."

On their penis

Grinding directly against your partner's penis can be pleasurable for both of you. Try it while they're soft, hard, and in various states of undress. If you're both nude, a bit of lube can make it feel even better.

Don't be discouraged if this particular combination doesn't do much for you — not every pairing clicks the same way.

Against their face

Their face is another option for humping. Just check in with them first to make sure they're comfortable with it, and remove any glasses beforehand! Movements can get more forceful than intended as you approach orgasm, so it's worth discussing beforehand how to avoid hurting them or restricting their breathing, which keeps the experience positive for both of you.

Related: How to confidently sit on your partner's face.

Grinding isn't confined to any one body part, either — some people enjoy humping a partner's tailbone, butt, or even the inside of a wrist. With an enthusiastic partner, the possibilities are nearly endless.

Grinding as a Masturbation Technique

Grinding is a go-to masturbation method for plenty of people. Here are some starting points.

Using a pillow

Many people first discover their love of grinding simply by using an ordinary pillow. A firmer option, like memory foam or a dedicated sex position pillow, may work best for you.

Get: Advice for humping a pillow.

Against a towel or blanket

A balled-up towel or blanket can also give you something to grind against comfortably.

On a couch armrest

A couch or chair armrest can double as a grinding surface, especially if you can straddle it comfortably given your height and build. Adding a grinding pad on top can make it even more comfortable.

With a toy

Plenty of toys work for solo grinding, from wand massagers (with or without attachments) to clitoral vibrators, especially rounder or wider shapes. Just move your hips against the toy — or the toy against you — in a grinding rhythm, and keep things comfortable with plenty of lube.

More: What lube is and how to use it.

That said, some toys are built specifically with grinding in mind, making the whole thing much easier.

Bumpers are toys that pair with a strap-on but can also sit in your hand or against a surface for grinding. Slide one into a pillow pocket or pillowcase to grind against, and you might even combine it with syntribation!

Grinding pads frequently come with varied textures and vibration and one or more raised humps to grind against. Some feature insertable dildos or vibrators, and at least one design lets you fit it around your own favorite dildo.

Textured-base dildos can also work great for grinding purposes.

You can even find silicone grinding sleeves designed for your fingers, if that's your preferred route to clitoral stimulation.

With all that covered, you're basically fluent in the art of grinding. Drop a comment below if you give any of these ideas a try.

June 11, 2025