Period Sex: Keeping It Hot, Fun & Mess-Free

When your period arrives, chances are you're not feeling your best. Hormone swings, cramps, bloating, breakouts, hot or cold flashes, and a whole list of other side effects might be in play. Some women notice tender breasts and a shifting cervix, too. If none of that has you racing toward the bedroom, don't worry — you're far from alone.

That said, period sex can actually ease some of those very symptoms, if you're willing to look past the drawbacks.

The Argument Against Period Sex

A lot of stigma surrounds sex during menstruation. It likely traces back to the notion that periods are somehow 'unclean' — something to be endured and forgotten as fast as possible, even though roughly half the world's population menstruates monthly for a huge stretch of their lives.

If you've ever watched the movie Carrie, you've seen just how uncomfortable some people get even discussing periods, let alone finding pleasure during that week.

Pregnancy is still possible – You may have heard plenty of reasons to skip sex during your period, pregnancy risk among them. Even though your period is your body shedding the uterine lining and egg after no fertilization occurred over the prior weeks, pregnancy is still on the table [1] [2].

While fertility calendars can estimate your most and least fertile days (peak fertility tends to land about 14 days before your period), your cycle carries a good deal of variability [3].

Keep using birth control as usual. If your pill includes placebo pills during your period week, use a condom or another barrier method to guard against pregnancy. A condom also cuts the risk of transmitting STIs through blood [4] and semen alike.

Read More: How to use A Condom

Hepatitis C and B both spread through blood [5] [6]. HIV transmits through blood too [7] [8] [9].

Women also often wonder whether — and when — to take out a tampon before sex.

Remove your tampon before any penetrative vaginal sex [11]. You can duck into the bathroom to do this privately beforehand if you'd rather your partner not watch. A pantyliner or pad can tide you over afterward, and a pantyliner also protects your underwear from post-sex blood. Never leave a tampon in during sex — it can get pushed further up, making removal harder and raising your risk of vaginal infection.

Side note: Looking for great tips on sex in general (period or not)? Check out my best tips here.

A menstrual cup is worth considering as an alternative to tampons — both let you collect blood without much mess. Not every cup works during sex, though, so research before you buy.

Many people view these silicone cups as safer than bleached-cotton tampons. You can also rinse and reuse them, saving money over time. Menstrual cups can keep things clean enough that you can even receive oral sex on your period, though they take a bit of practice to master. If you're new to cups, get comfortable with one before diving into sex.

A dental dam is handy during oral sex [14]. Your partner holds this thin square between your genitals and their tongue while going down on you, lowering the odds of STI transmission and contact with period blood [15].

So with the right prep, period sex doesn't have to be any less healthy, pleasurable, or safe than sex during any other week of the month!

The Upside Of Period Sex

If your partner has ever claimed that period sex can leave you feeling better, he might be onto something. Some women notice their cramps and bloating ease up after sexual activity, particularly with orgasm involved. If you like to seek out feel-good activities during your monthly visitor, period sex might deserve a spot on that list!

Research shows period sex happens more often within committed relationships [16] and with a supportive partner [17]. Women with more education also tend to have period sex more frequently [18], and white women report feeling more positive about it [19].

The biochemical shifts happening in your brain and body during and after sex can also soften some of menstruation's less pleasant side effects. Oxytocin, for instance, boosts trust and lowers your guard — hence its nickname, the "cuddle hormone." But its effects go beyond cuddliness: it also ramps up empathy, which can lift your mood during your period and make conversations with others feel less tense and combative.

Hormonal shifts leave some women hornier during their periods [20], particularly in the first few days [21].

Learn more about how hormones and other factors affect desire in our guide to getting horny.

Naturally, sex during your period comes with all the usual perks too, from stress relief to bonding with your partner. If you tend to feel hornier leading up to or during your period, you might be more than ready — the remaining question is how your partner feels about it.

Bringing Your Partner On Board With Period Sex

Once you've decided you're open to period sex, you might need to win your partner over. There's plenty of immature locker-room chatter about "earning your red wings," and your partner might worry that sex during your period is too messy or off-putting. Still, most couples can work through that together. Once you do, try out some of these sex positions.

Start by reassuring your lover you're fine with period sex, and mention a few of the benefits already covered here. You might also explain how the extra natural moisture cuts down on the need for lube, making things even more pleasurable for you both.

If your partner has misconceptions about how heavy your flow actually gets — some guys genuinely picture Niagara Falls! — set the record straight. You've likely discussed your flow with other women or a doctor before, so you can give him a realistic picture.

You might be surprised to find your partner actually gets turned on by the taboo of it. Fetish communities built entirely around this exist for a reason. You don't need to be a vampire to want a partner who's menstruating, and plenty of people simply don't see a little blood as a dealbreaker!

How to Actually Have Sex on Your Period

One big reason people avoid period sex is the risk of ruined sheets, blankets, or a permanently stained mattress. You can cut down on mess by sticking to low-flow days — the tail end of your period usually runs lighter, making it a safer window. Tracking your cycle on a calendar can help you spot those lower-flow days ahead of time.

Laying a towel down beneath you offers extra protection for your bed and sheets. A dedicated sex blanket is another option to keep things from getting wet or stained — handy if you're also a squirter! For tips on squirting, check out this powerful tutorial guide.

Keep in mind your cervix may sit differently or feel more sensitive than usual, so hard or deep thrusting — or certain positions — might feel uncomfortable. Try riding your partner in the Cowgirl position or the Asian Cowgirl position, both of which let you control depth and intensity. Some people prefer bottom positions to minimize blood flow, like Jockey, Prone Bone, or classic Missionary — though this may not be necessary if your flow is already light. Communication matters even more here, so speak up if your body needs a gentler touch during your period!

Either partner may want to clean up afterward, especially on heavier days. A shower afterward leaves you feeling freshest — shower sex, in fact, can ease any worries either of you have about blood — though that's not always practical. Keep wipes within reach for quick cleanup; baby wipes are affordable, gentle, and typically hypoallergenic, and they store easily in a nightstand.

Related: How to Have Incredible Shower Sex

Anal Sex During Your Period

Some couples turn to anal sex more often while the woman has her period, sidestepping blood and cramping — though anal sex comes with its own prep requirements. If vaginal sex doesn't appeal to you during your period, it's one alternative among several. You might also consider oral sex (everything you need to know is covered here) or bringing your partner to orgasm with a skilled hand job (read the full tutorial here), while focusing on your own clitoral orgasms until your period wraps up using these clitoral stimulation techniques.

Just remember, it's completely fine if period sex isn't for you. Not everyone's into it. You can instead lean into reconnecting with your partner and building emotional intimacy that week, especially when symptoms hit hard. Every woman is different, and even your own experience can shift — you might crave sex one month and want nothing to do with it during the next period.

One last thing about period sex: spontaneous encounters outside the bedroom or bathroom might be harder to pull off since you need time to protect surfaces or remove a tampon first. But planning ahead doesn't have to kill the mood! Not everyone will want to try period sex, and some will decide it's too taboo or messy even after giving it a shot. Still, an orgasm or two can make that time of the month a lot more bearable if you and your partner can't hold out an entire week!

Resources

Find out what 14 people think about period sex.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Is period sex safe?

A: Pregnancy odds go down, but you can still transmit or catch an STI during period sex since blood carries these infections. A condom lowers the risk of bloodborne transmission.

Q: Can you get pregnant from period sex?

A: Yes**,** though the odds are lower at this point in your cycle.

Q: How do I bring up my period with my partner?

A: Desire can strike anytime, and having your period doesn't automatically rule out sex. Depending on your comfort level, penetrative or oral sex with a tampon in place might work for you. Letting your partner know gives him the chance to decide how he wants to proceed.

Bringing it up doesn't need to be a production. Don't assume he'll panic, recoil, or lose interest. Something simple like "Just so you know, I've got my period. Give me a sec to grab a towel and I'll be right back" works fine. That buys you time to lay down a towel and remove your tampon or pad.

Or try: "I'm fine with period sex, but I know not everyone is. What works for you?"

If you're uncertain how your partner will react, raise the topic before your period arrives to get ahead of it.

Q: What if my partner isn't into period sex?

A: Plenty of partners simply aren't interested, and plenty of women feel the same way. That's completely fine — comfort levels vary widely. If that's you or your partner, other activities can fill the gap (oral sex or dry humping, for instance).

Masturbation also works if period blood doesn't bother you.

Q: Do people actually enjoy period sex?

A: Definitely! Some women find it eases pain or takes their mind off other symptoms. Some people even have a specific fetish around having sex during a period. And it's just as normal to feel neutral about the whole thing.

October 3, 2020