5 Kinky Sex Tips To Spice Things Up In Bed

Once you’ve worked through the standard sex positions, blow job techniques and tips on talking dirty, it’s time to branch out into something new and exciting to try with your man. That’s exactly why I’ve pulled together this list of 5 kinky sex tips. You don’t need to feel obligated to try every single one. Some might read as a bit too kinky for your taste, and that’s completely fine. Ideally, though, they’ll give you a sense of what might be worth exploring down the road.

Hitting your man with these kinky sex tips the moment you meet him could freak him out a bit…unless of course you’re aiming to be a freak in bed for him 😉

It’s a smarter move to first work through the standard sex techniques found across Love Curi, then gradually ease into kinkier sex ideas, checking along the way that he’s comfortable with each step.

Alright, let’s dig into some kinky sex techniques and tips to try out on your man!

1. Take Charge

Stepping into the dominant role is a fantastic way to crank up the kink factor for you and your man. When you hear the phrase “take charge”, your mind might jump straight to whips and chains. And sure, you could go there! But you don’t have to dive into the deep end to exert more control over your man. There are plenty of gentler ways to get started.

Here are a few:

Start With Woman-On-Top Sex Positions – If you’ve never taken the dominant role in bed before, you might feel a little nervous about it. That’s why I suggest starting with something straightforward, like riding your man during sex. While the cowgirl position is a classic favorite, you could also give the Amazon position or Reverse Cowgirl a shot.

Take The Initiative – If you’re already at ease being on top during sex but notice your man usually makes the first move, it might be time to flip the script and become the one initiating things in the bedroom.

You don’t need to transform into a ravenous tiger overnight — it can be as simple as pulling your man into the bedroom or surprising him by giving him a blow job when he least expects it (say, while you’re both watching TV).

Tell Him What To Do – Once you notice your man responding well to you taking charge, it’s time to level up. Start issuing commands and letting him know exactly what you want. Ease into it with simple requests before moving on to bolder ones like, “I want you to go down on me” or “I want to climax at least twice before you do”.

Learn more: How to talk dirty and 81 wild things to say during sex.

A Little Slap Here & There – Now we’re venturing into truly kinky territory! Next time you’re with your man, try slapping or spanking him. Once you notice he’s into it, go ahead and increase the intensity a touch.

From there, think about other parts of his body you could slap — his back, his legs…even his face.

Once you start heading into this more intense territory, be sure to have a conversation with your man to confirm he’s genuinely on board, and agree together on a safe word in case things get too intense.

2. Try Roleplay Together

If taking the dominant role isn’t quite your thing, another great way to ramp up the kink is trying roleplay with your man. Just like with dominance, you don’t have to push roleplay to its extreme — it can be plenty fun even at a lighter level.

There are two main themes running through roleplaying with your man in the bedroom. In the first, one partner holds all the power while the other plays bold, mischievous, or in need of discipline — a submissive role. Roleplays built around this theme include:

• Prison guard & prisoner
• Headmaster & naughty school girl/boy
• Cop & Criminal
• Nurse/Doctor & sick patient
• Sports coach & athlete
• The Boss & Secretary

Check out 43 incredible role play ideas to turn up the heat.

The second theme centers on you being sexy, sultry, and impossible to resist, with your man drawn irresistibly toward you. Kinky roleplays in this vein include:

• The bored housewife/girlfriend & the plumber/milkman
• Stripper & customer – how to strip
• Escort & client
• Model & photographer

That said, these themes are just a starting point for roleplay with your man. The possibilities are essentially endless — the only real limit is your own imagination and fantasies.

A Few Notes On Roleplaying

Safe word – Keep in mind that roleplay is meant to create a fun, safe space where you and your partner can play out fantasies and kinks together. With that said, never push your partner into something they’re not comfortable with, no matter how badly you want to try a particular kinky sex tip. It can sometimes be tough to tell whether your partner is genuinely enjoying something, especially while you’re experimenting — which is precisely why a safe word matters.

A safe word is a term or phrase you wouldn’t typically use during sex with your man, signaling that you need him to stop. A few examples: “Angry Birds”, “Walmart” or “iPhone”.

Learn to relax – Getting into the right headspace for roleplay with your man can sometimes be a challenge. You might genuinely want to try something but still feel nervous or a little self-conscious about it. One easy fix for that awkwardness is a glass of wine (just one — you don’t want to be drunk!) or a joint (wherever it’s legal). These foreplay tips can also help set the mood.

3. If your man pitches a roleplay idea, that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to go along with it. At minimum, hear him out, then let him know if you’re not up for it right now. And if his idea sounds completely absurd, resist the urge to laugh or put him down for it. More on effective sexual communication.

3. Sex In Public

Before you even consider having sex outside, be sure to check that you wouldn’t be breaking any laws.

If you’re not certain, it’s not worth the risk. So look into your local laws first!

Public sex tends to be one of those kinky sex tips people either love or can’t stand. Some people find it thrilling: the possibility of getting caught, the sense of freedom, the breeze against their skin, even the sun warming them. Others feel completely differently — either indifferent to the idea or outright turned off by it.

So before you charge ahead and pull your man off somewhere for public sex, talk it through with him first to confirm he’s genuinely into it. Once you’ve confirmed that, it’s time to have some fun!

Picking Your Spot – Spontaneous sex is often the best kind, but it isn’t always practical, so your first step will be choosing a location.

If being watched by others appeals to you, the safest option is a swingers club. That way, you know you won’t be offending anyone while still enjoying an audience that respects your lifestyle.

Learn: What is a swinger

If you’d rather have complete privacy, a wooded area or a secluded beach (if you can track one down) works well. If you go this route, bring along a rug for comfort and to keep sand, dirt, and other debris out of places you don’t want them.

Lube Factor – One more thing worth considering with outdoor sex: if you’re somewhere warm but dry, you may find yourself drying out faster than usual. If that’s a concern, bring along some lube.

One final reminder: if public sex acts are illegal where you live, it’s not worth the risk.

4. Bring In The Toys

Adding sex toys into the mix is a kinky sex tip you really shouldn’t skip. Sure, some people call it cheating or say it’s not fair, but that’s simply not true. It’s just another great way to keep things exciting and enjoyable.

The only real issue crops up if your man starts believing you NEED sex toys to reach orgasm. It can dent his confidence if he THINKS he isn’t enough to get you there on his own. So if you sense he might feel insecure about toys entering the picture, take a moment to talk it through with him.

Finding the right sex toy can feel like navigating a minefield — there are literally thousands of options out there. You’ll find all sorts of vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, prostate massagers, and much more. That’s because preferences vary widely from person to person — some people love certain toys while others get nothing out of them.

So instead of me telling you what to pick, my suggestion is to browse around yourself and figure out what appeals to you.

5. Explore Being Submissive

I already covered stepping into the dominant role, but not everyone gets turned on by having more control over their man. For plenty of people, that’s simply not a kinky sex tip worth pursuing.

But what about the flip side — becoming more submissive to your man? This will obviously land even better if your man enjoys taking the dominant role in bed too! Let’s walk through a few strategies for exploring submission with your man…

Tell Him – The most straightforward, direct way to bring up the idea of being submissive with your man is simply to tell him outright. Being that direct might land perfectly, or it might catch him off guard and rattle him a bit.

A gentler approach is to ease into the conversation by mentioning how much you enjoy seeing him be ‘manly’ and dominant. Next time you finish having sex, try saying something like:

• That was so hot how you just pounded me harder & harder. I felt completely helpless, it was incredible.
• I love how you throw me around when we’re in bed together. It really turns me on when we have rough sex.
• I feel like the more aggressive and dominant you get, the more submissive I become.

Complimenting your man is a great way to boost his confidence and doubles as a kinky sex tip in its own right. The more you reinforce how much you love it when he’s dominant, the more likely he is to keep it up.

Even if he’s not especially dominant with you at the moment, let him know how much you’re into anything he does that leans even slightly that way. If that approach doesn’t land, there are other routes to take…

Just Do It – Instead of waiting around for your man to become more dominant, a faster route is to take matters into your own hands and just go for it. You can start behaving more submissively toward him without any prompting on his part. So what does that actually look like in practice?

Don’t Even Ask – Next time you’re both getting ready for bed, drop to your knees while he’s changing and start giving him a blowjob. Don’t worry — he won’t mind!

The Unprompted Hand Job – While you and your man are lying in bed together, slowly run your hand down his stomach, grab his penis, and start giving him a hand job. Bonus kinky, submissive points for giving him puppy eyes while you do it.

February 1, 2022