How To Talk Dirty To A Guy – 19 Phrases That Actually Work

Figuring out how to talk dirty to your man is one of the easiest ways to add some spark back into your relationship. This crash course on talking dirty to your boyfriend or lover will have you sounding like a natural in no time. Have fun with it!

Why Bother Talking Dirty To Your Man At All?

Plenty of relationships kick off with amazing chemistry and constant fun together. But almost without fail, things settle into a routine over time…and that routine can slide into genuine boredom.

Boredom is basically poison for a relationship.

Once your partner starts feeling bored, the odds go up that he'll go searching for excitement somewhere else (put simply, a bored man is a bigger cheating risk).

Dirty talk is one of the simplest ways to inject fun and excitement back into things. What's great about it is that it isn't confined to the bedroom. You can talk dirty to your guy pretty much anywhere — on a flight, in line at a coffee shop, at the movies, you name it. Beyond in-person moments, you can also lean on text messages to talk dirty, phone calls, or even email.

Dirty Talk Doesn't Have To Be Explicit

The whole point of dirty talk is keeping things exciting and fresh in your relationship. This is where a lot of the women I coach on this topic get tripped up.

You don't need to say anything outrageous or graphic to turn your man on and build tension.

You'd be shocked how tame your dirty talk can be while still driving him wild. Take a look at these dirty talking phrases as a starting point:

I'm going to do something for you tonight….I think you'll like it a lot!

I love it when you wear those jeans.

Notice how mild both of these lines actually are. The first one is deliberately vague — depending on tone, it could mean you're cooking dinner, giving him a blowjob, or throwing him a surprise party.

The second line barely registers as sexual at all. It reads more like a compliment than anything else.

Note: For even more inspiration, check out this collection of dirty talking phrases alongside some dirty talking examples.

From what I've seen, the strongest approach is alternating between very sexual and completely tame dirty talk. That unpredictability keeps him guessing about what's coming next.

What To Actually Say When Talking Dirty To Your Guy

If dirty talk is new territory for you, you're probably stuck on what to actually say. Before anything else, understand this:

No single dirty talk line or phrase exists that's guaranteed to turn your man on, build tension, and make him crave you every single time.

Anyone claiming otherwise is flat-out lying.

Before you start talking dirty to your man, get clear on your goal. Are you trying to turn him on? Get stuck in his head? Tease him a little? Or ramp up sexual tension?

Dirty Talk Aimed At Turning Him On

Getting your man aroused with dirty talk isn't complicated. Just tell him what you love about him and what you'd like to do to him. Try lines like these:

I love your ass!

It's so hot when you look at me like that!

I want you right now.

I want to feel you inside me.

Dirty Talk That Keeps Him Thinking About You

This is the most effective form of dirty talk out there. Nail this and you'll practically have a stalker on your hands! The trick is staying subtle, mysterious, and dialing back the overt sexuality. When you keep it understated and a little cryptic, his mind will start working overtime trying to decode what you meant. A few examples:

I woke up thinking about you last night.

There's this one really awesome thing I like about you. But if I tell you what it is, you'll stop doing it.

I don't know why, but you make me feel so girly & feminine when I'm around you.

Each of these examples is indirect and low on explicit content. They also double as compliments, which men eat up. You're flattering his ego while planting a question mark in his head that keeps him thinking about you afterward. Say something like, "I woke up thinking about you last night," and he'll spend real time wondering what exactly crossed your mind. A steamy dream? Missing him? A nightmare? Staying vague and indirect can keep a man's attention on you for ages, all from a single sentence.

Dirty Talk For Teasing Him

Dirty talk also makes a great teasing tool, perfect for flirting and keeping the relationship playful. The key when teasing your man is staying light and fun rather than heavy-handed. Try these teasing lines out on your man (or a guy you just met):

I've got a little surprise for you later, but only if you are on your best behaviour.

If you don't treat me right, there'll be no kisses tonight!

Keep the tone playful, not intense. Teasing dirty talk is basically flirting with a slightly more sexual edge.

Dirty Talk For Ramping Up Sexual Tension

This use of dirty talk is incredibly effective. To build real sexual tension, say something dirty to your man somewhere you obviously can't act on it right then. Think a party, a family dinner, or even a phone call. The trick is delivering something highly arousing while being stuck in a setting where following through isn't an option. Some examples:

If these people weren't around, I would rip your trousers off and give you a blowjob right now.

When you look at me like that, I just want to fuck you. Dam, I wish these people weren't here.

I wish I was with you right now, you on top, dominating me. (Great when sent as a text message)

Check out: 13 filthy sexting tips to make your man horny.

Every one of these lines is explicit but impossible to act on in the moment — exactly what makes them great for building tension.

Now that you've got four distinct approaches to dirty talk under your belt, there are a few extra details worth knowing to get it right.

The Words Aren't The Whole Story

When you're first learning how to talk dirty to a guy, it's tempting to obsess over finding the perfect lines and phrases. But the actual wording is only part of the equation.

Delivery matters just as much.

Come off awkward or stiff delivering any dirty line, and it simply won't land. Dirty talk lands best when you can hold eye contact and deliver a line slowly, with real intent, like

I want to fuck your brains out later!

Keep that in mind every time you talk dirty to your man. It's the combination of the right line and the right delivery that makes it work. Expect some nerves, awkwardness, or shyness the first few times you say these things out loud. That's completely normal — it gets easier with practice.

Dirty Talk Works Over The Phone And Online Too

Talking dirty face-to-face with your man is great. But phone and online dirty talk (texts, emails, Facebook messages, etc.) has its own appeal and is often simpler.

Without him physically in front of you, there's noticeably less pressure, and you get extra time to think through your response before sending it.

Talking Dirty When You're Naturally Shy

If you're new to talking dirty to a guy, some nervousness or shyness is completely expected. You might worry about coming across weird, awkward, or silly to him. No need to stress — just work through these steps to gauge his reaction while building your own confidence along the way.

1) Start by testing whether your man is even receptive to the idea. Next time things get intimate, whisper something subtle in his ear. Try lines like:

I love how you kiss me.

That feels so good.

Both of these read as compliments and are easy first lines to try.

2) Once you've used these a handful of times, it's time to turn things up slightly. Again, keep it whispered:

I love it when you're on top.

I wish we could just have sex all day long.

The overwhelming majority of men will love hearing this. A rare few won't. Once you're comfortable with these gentler examples, you're ready to work your way up to the bolder lines covered earlier in this guide.

April 11, 2021