How To Unleash Your Freaky Side In Bed And Drive Him Wild

You've probably heard the old line about wanting "a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets." Men do tend to want a partner who gets a little wild between the sheets, and the ones who have that tend to brag about it. If being freaky doesn't come naturally to you, the whole idea can feel intimidating.

But push past whatever's holding you back, and being a freak in bed can lead to better sex and a hotter relationship.

How To Be A Freak In Bed

There's no single formula here. Some people think anal sex is the freaky benchmark, but you don't need to be into anal at all to qualify. It's really less about specific acts and more about your attitude toward exploring your sexuality.

1. Stay Open To Suggestion

Maybe he wants to try sex in the car or the kitchen. Maybe he wants to bring in toys, or watch porn together. Any of that can feel pretty out there if you're used to sticking to the bedroom before bedtime. Staying open to suggestion is the first move toward being freaky in bed.

2. Enjoy It For Yourself

If you only ever say yes to try something new because he wants it, neither of you gets as much out of it. Being willing and game is good, but if you're not actually enjoying yourself, it starts to feel like a performance, and nobody wants that.

So find your own enjoyment in it. You won't love everything you try, but most women can find something to enjoy in any given session, whether that's being watched, clitoral stimulation, oral sex, or just losing yourself in a fantasy.

3. …And Bring Your Own Ideas

Don't leave all the spicing-up to him. Take charge yourself. Tell him about freaky ideas you'd like to try, even ones that feel a little out there. He'll probably think it's hot that you're contributing, and he'll love seeing how turned on you get once you actually try it.

Talking about sex isn't always easy, so check out our guide to sexual communication to get it right.

5. Own Your Confidence

Everybody has hangups about their own sexuality. Maybe you're self-conscious about your stomach, or worried you don't sound "hot enough" during sex. He's probably just as worried about his size or whether he'll stay hard, even if no partner has ever complained.

So take a breath and remember that your flaws feel much bigger to you than to anyone else, and that you're desirable. If that's not quite enough, learn how to get over sexual anxiety once and for all. Without that, you probably won't feel game to try new things, and being freaky in bed will stay out of reach.

6. Break Out Of Your Routine

Routine and freaky sex don't exactly go hand in hand. Some would say routine is the opposite of freaky. There's no single rulebook for breaking out of one — just mix up when and where you're having sex.

Try new positions. You'll probably notice, once you actually try to break the pattern, just how often you and your partner default to the same time and place, especially after being together a while. Sex probably even starts the same predictable way every time. Try kicking things off differently, which brings us to the next point.

7. Make The First Move

Men often complain their partners never initiate. It can make them feel less wanted. You might think he's incredibly sexy but still worry about how you look, whether he's in the mood, or embarrassing yourself. Push past all of that and initiate, and he'll be pleasantly surprised — and you'll feel powerful.

Freaky Sex Ideas To Get You Started

If you're ready to be freakier but not sure where to start, here are some ideas.

1. Anal Play

There's a whole range of options when it comes to butt play. Anal sex might be the first thing that comes to mind (check out our tips for making the first time great), but you can also try anal fingering solo or with a partner. And rimming is plenty freaky for those who enjoy it.

2 Prostate Play

If he's game to get freaky too, this is worth trying. He can learn to become multiply orgasmic and experience much more intense orgasms through prostate play. Discover six tips for giving an amazing prostate massage.

3. BDSM

BDSM covers bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism — an umbrella that stretches over a huge range of activities most people would call freaky. We've written about BDSM extensively on Love Curi, so check out these if you want to go deeper.

• BDSM for Beginners
• 6 Wild BDSM Games
• How Bondage Leads to Kinkier Sex
• 10 Femdom Ideas to Dominate Your Man

There's always something new to try in BDSM if getting freaky is the goal.

4. Role Playing

Role play can be part of a BDSM dynamic, or you can try it completely on its own, no bondage or domination required. Picture a hot scenario like teacher and student. If you're already getting turned on just thinking about it, you're on your way.

Related: 43 Sexy Role Play Ideas

5. Sex In Public

Plenty of people who enjoy public sex have a freaky streak. There's something about the possibility of being seen or heard that ramps up the heat.

We'll caution you here: avoid anything that could get you arrested, and steer well clear of anywhere children might be. Want lower-risk public sex? Discover how to have incredible sex outside.

6. Threesomes, Swinging And Group Sex

Not every relationship is suited to adding more people, but the right ones can genuinely flourish with a few extra bodies in the mix. A few things to know:

• Swinging means swapping partners. Learn more here.
• Group sex or orgies bring multiple people together.
• Threesomes take some organizing but can be well worth it. Try these 18 wonderful threesome positions.

Before trying any of this, make sure your relationship is on solid footing. Adding people won't fix what's broken, and you'll need a handle on jealousy first.

Read: How to Deal with Jealousy

7. Edging

Edging is a fun, freaky way to score better orgasms. Bring yourself or your partner right to the edge, then back off. Repeat as many times as you like until you get one explosive finish.

Curious? Read more about edging.

8. Phone Or Cyber Sex

If you've ever been in a long-distance relationship, you're probably already familiar with sex over the phone or computer. It's a great way to stay sexually intimate even when you can't be physically close. But it's also a great freaky option even when distance isn't the issue.

These ideas can heat things up fast. Send him a steamy message from another room, or leave a voicemail while he's in the shower. Try calling before bed — masturbating while he's on the line is hot and might even help you sleep better. Adding video takes the intimacy (and the freakiness) even further.

Learn how to have steamy phone sex in this guide to get started.

9. Biting And Scratching

Biting your partner during sex and scratching their back are staples of rough sex. Leaving a mark can feel deeply satisfying, and so can noticing a bruise or scratch on your own skin afterward and remembering exactly how you got it. Grab 7 ideas for rough sex if this sounds like your speed.

10. Spanking

This one often pairs with other BDSM elements, though it doesn't have to. If you're up for baring your ass and having it spanked (or doing the spanking yourself), there's plenty to choose from.

• Spanking is something most people have tried, and it needs no extra gear.
• Whips are single-tail toys that pack a serious punch.
• Floggers have multiple tails, come in different materials, and can be adjusted to your preferred intensity.
• Paddles might be leather or fur-covered and can even leave a design behind.
• Slappers are paddles with an extra layer for a secondary bite.

Learn more about erotic spanking. Struggling to get him on board? Try these 7 tricks to change his mind.

11. Talk Dirty

Dirty talk makes plenty of people anxious, but it can seriously up the ante. You don't need to shout "Call me a whore!" (unless that's your thing).

Instead, ease in by telling him what feels good, what's been on your mind, and what you'd like him to do to you, or vice versa.

Now you've got plenty of ways to explore being freaky in bed. Dive in enthusiastically, but remember you don't have to do everything every single time. Try to check off the whole list at once, and it'll start to feel like a chore instead of a good time.

Explore your sexuality with confidence and curiosity, and you'll both come out ahead.

We've also put together an in-depth list of 40 freaky things to do to your boyfriend if you want even more ideas.

October 10, 2020