How To Hook Up With A Guy Without The Awkwardness

Maybe you're newly single, maybe you're curious about trying a one night stand for the first time, or maybe you've just never been the one to make the first move — either way, you're probably wondering how to hook up with a guy without it feeling clumsy. Good news: we've got a full breakdown for you. Keep reading for advice that's sexy but also genuinely useful for pulling it off. That's the whole point of Love Curi, really.

Prepping Before The Hookup

A little planning before things get going pays off. First on the list: sorting out birth control and STI protection. Condoms cover both bases and are a smart default with anyone new. If you use a ring, cervical cap, or anything else that needs to go in ahead of time, handle it earlier in the day so you're not scrambling later.

Don't overlook physical safety either. If you barely know the guy, you genuinely don't know his intentions yet.

You might feel safer having him over rather than going to his place. If you're meeting up somewhere, line up a reliable way to get home afterward. Since so many hookups now start on apps, plenty of people set up a check-in — a text or call to a trusted friend by a certain time.

Passing along your date's name, number, and other contact info to a friend adds a real safety net. Worst case scenario is usually just underwhelming sex, but caution never hurts.

While we're on safety: if there's any chance of bondage or power play, agree on safe words beforehand. This matters even more with someone new, since they won't yet know how to read your body language.

Look The Part

Whether you're hoping for something real or just a casual night, how you present yourself matters.

That means staying attractive and putting effort into your look consistently. You can turn heads anywhere — at work, a tailored pantsuit or a skirt-and-blouse pairing works better than anything too revealing, which is better saved for a bar or club. Even running errands is worth a little extra polish.

Related: How to dress sexy

Think about wearing something sexy underneath your outfit too, in case the night takes a turn toward the bedroom.

More: Tips for choosing the perfect lingerie

Setting Up The Hookup

The simplest way to make a move is usually just getting him somewhere private. Dinner and a movie at your place, a drive-in, or a low-key drink somewhere quiet all work well. Being physically close makes the shift from casual hangout to something more feel natural.

Signaling that you're interested comes first, though — so how do you do it? Light, casual touching while you chat is a subtle but effective cue.

Laugh flirtatiously, and if it feels right, toss out an offhand comment about how you'd both look without clothes on. He'll usually pick up on your interest pretty fast. Some guys are just naturally shy about making the first move, though. That's your cue to take charge yourself.

Read: 11 signs of sexual attraction

Maybe you enjoy flipping the usual script, or being the one in control turns you on, or you just want to step outside your typical role. Go for it!

If the night's getting late and you still can't read his intentions, invite him up for a drink or coffee before his ride shows up. Or find an excuse to head toward his bedroom — asking to use the bathroom does the trick.

Maybe he's brought up some collection you've been dying to check out, or you've missed the last bus home? Sounds like you're staying over!

Whether the hour is early or late, getting cozy at either place improves your odds of the night heading somewhere exciting.

Watching something on the couch gives you a natural excuse to snuggle up, and that snuggling can quickly turn into a heated makeout session. From there, hands tend to wander south on their own (hello, hand job). If his interest in you is obvious, you might already know he's ready without needing to check.

Getting The Most Out Of It

For a memorable night, you'll want to draw things out — and definitely not settle for just Missionary. Here's a walkthrough for hooking up with a guy in a way he won't forget.

Start with kissing, and don't rush it. Feel free to nip at his lower lip or trail kisses along his jaw and neck. While you kiss, let your hands wander over his muscles and his cock through his clothes. If grinding against him happens naturally, don't fight it. This can turn into a makeout session intense enough to bring you close to orgasm before any clothes even come off.

Take your time undressing. Top to bottom generally makes sense, though there's no hard rule. Give him access to your breasts, ideally shown off in your favorite bra. Take each piece off one at a time.

Rather than tossing your skirt and thong across the room, slide your bottoms off and let his body settle between your legs. Grind against his cock for some clitoral stimulation. Or straddle his lap in your underwear for a slow grind. Put on some sexy music and turn your undressing into a sensual lap dance, or if you're feeling bold, strip for him outright.

Keep The Energy Up

Head to your preferred spot for sex. He'll probably assume the bed, but the couch or even the kitchen floor can add a fun twist to the encounter.

Changing locations can spike the adrenaline and intensify sex for both of you. Before you're both fully undressed, strip his clothes off and start stroking his cock, paying attention to how he reacts. Keep him worked up, but avoid bringing him too close to orgasm too early.

Put Your Oral Skills To Work

Bring your mouth into the mix. Pause the kissing to trail light kisses down his body before wrapping your lips around his cock and bobbing slowly along the shaft. Same rule applies — keep him hard and worked up without tipping him over the edge, so back off the pace when needed.

Don't hesitate to cup, stroke, or lick his balls while your mouth is on his shaft. He'll notice and appreciate it.

If he wants to reciprocate with his hands or mouth, let him spread your legs and lead. Breathy sighs and moans keep him locked in, and you've earned that orgasm after all your effort! If he hesitates to go down on you, these tips can help change his mind.

Bring Back The Dirty Talk

With your mouth free again, this is a perfect moment for some dirty talk. Keep it simple at first — tell him how much you're enjoying this, or how turned on stroking him has gotten you. Describe what you're planning to do to him once he's done going down on you. Wild Dirty Talk has even more ideas for maximizing the effect.

Picking Positions

Once you're both worked up enough to move forward, actual penetration is next, and by now you'll both be craving it. Skip lying back into Missionary — instead, flip the script and push him down or into a seated position so you can straddle him in Lotus. That's the kind of hookup he won't stop thinking about.

The pace and rhythm are yours to control. Focus on hitting your own sweet spots — he's likely to enjoy himself regardless!

You're not locked into one position, either. Doggy Style works well if G-spot stimulation is what you're chasing.

Spooning reads as romantic to some, though you might like it purely because closed legs make him feel bigger inside you. There's nothing wrong with being a little selfish here — sex should feel good for both people! If a position isn't doing much for your clit, reach down and handle it yourself with one of these 14 masturbation techniques.

There's no single formula for hooking up with a guy and making sure you get yours too — browse over 100 sex positions if you want to keep exploring.

Leaving Without The Walk Of Shame

Movies love the "walk of shame" cliché — a woman leaving the next morning with shoes in hand, hair a mess, makeup smeared. Onlookers trade knowing glances as she goes, sometimes having left something behind, whether by accident or as a playful souvenir.

You don't have to live that stereotype if you'd rather not.

For one, hosting at your own place sidesteps the whole walk of shame scenario. It also helps to know if your partner has roommates you'd rather not run into — just ask when people are usually around, and you'll dodge those awkward run-ins. Otherwise, just leave with your head up and a confident smile.

Packing a small overnight bag can help you look pulled-together the next morning. A travel toothbrush and hairbrush go a long way, and a makeup wipe keeps mascara from smudging. Tossing a spare pair of underwear in your bag makes the trip home or to work more comfortable too.

Warning – An unanswered text, a pale strip of skin where a ring usually sits, or photos mysteriously flipped face-down are all reasons to reconsider, no matter how into him you are. And if you're already in a committed, monogamous relationship, put that energy toward great sex with your actual partner instead.

Stick to these guidelines and you'll end up with safe, healthy encounters that might turn into something bigger — though they don't have to. That's the appeal of hookup culture and casual sex. You might also find out casual sex just isn't your thing, and that's fine too! As long as you're being responsible, hookups should add up to fun with minimal regret.

February 1, 2022