23 Powerful Sex Tips For Women To Drive Him Wild In Bed

These 23 powerful sex tips for women will help transform you into an unforgettable sex partner, one who leaves him craving you and begging for more time together. Oh, and one more thing — expect noticeably more intense orgasms of your own too!

Let's dive straight in!

1. Tease Him…Right Before Sex

This particular technique shares something in common with the advice below about pulling him deep as he cums — some people (of any gender) love it, others really don't.

Here's how it plays out:

Just as he's about to enter you, pull back slightly. Let his penis brush against you, nearly slide in, but don't allow full entry yet.

Naturally, he'll try again, but…

Pull away again, just enough that entry slips just out of reach.

Repeat this teasing cycle for seconds or minutes, letting him get maddeningly close without quite reaching you, until you finally decide to "give in."

A genuinely fun little power dynamic to play with him!

Lock eyes with him and watch how desperately he wants you, how hard he'll try to close that gap.

You can even voice the power dynamic directly — asking him, "How much do you want it?" or "I love seeing you struggle" or "I can see how much you want this and I love it". Or simply smile and whisper, "Not yet."

Feeling especially powerful? Ask him to beg, "Beg for it."

Plenty of men find this genuinely maddening in the best way, growing more aggressive and desperate — perfect if intense, passionate sex is what you're after.

2. Pull Him Deep When He Cums

Some people instantly understand this move, while others react with a genuine "huh, what's the appeal here?"

Let me explain…

For those who click with it, this technique feels wonderfully raw and primal. Great sex, after all, means getting out of your own head and tapping into base desire — nail that, and you're already excelling.

With that in mind…

Next time he's on top during sex, wrap your arms around him, and your legs too if possible, right as he's about to finish. As climax hits, pull him in as tightly and deeply as you can manage.

Once he's finished, keep that grip going for 10-60 seconds, holding him deep inside you.

For anyone who genuinely connects with this, it's among the most primal, electrifying sensations sex can offer. For him, it communicates wanting him on the deepest possible level.

As mentioned, this genuinely isn't universal. Couples drawn to unleashing raw, primal instinct on each other will find this thrilling; others simply won't feel the same pull.

Go deeper: Primal play fetish.

Positions that suit pulling him deep especially well:

• Missionary
• Coital Alignment Techniques
• Jockey
• Viennese Oyster
• Deckchair
• Spread Legs

Explore more in the Sex Positions section.

Best approach: try it out, gather his genuine feedback, then decide whether this stays part of your repertoire.

3. Slow Down At The Finish

Wanting to both extend his pleasure and intensify his eventual orgasm? Try slowing down significantly right as he approaches climax. Feels incredible for him, and…

Plenty of women enjoy the same technique done to them, so demonstrating it might improve his skills too.

Here's the mechanism…

First, learn to recognize when he's genuinely close — breathing intensifies, muscles tense, his face may scrunch up.

The moment you notice this, slow your movements dramatically and lighten your touch, reducing stimulation intensity. Whether giving oral or a hand job, or riding him in Cowgirl position, ease up and slow way down.

This extends his time in that peak-pleasure zone right before climax, often intensifying the eventual orgasm considerably.

Missionary position makes this trickier, admittedly, given your reduced control there.

4. BDSM

BDSM spans a huge range of techniques and ideas worth trying on him. A quick rundown:

• Restrain him or let him restrain you, aka bondage
• Dominate your man
• Be submissive for him
• Spank him and "discipline" him for misbehaving
• Mutual pain exchange, aka sadomasochism, can appeal to both of you.
• Giving or receiving explicit instructions in bed can feel genuinely intense for some couples.

Just a starting sample of BDSM ideas worth trying together. An in-depth introduction to BDSM covers considerably more, worth a look if this interests you.

5. Passion & Enthusiasm

This gets repeated constantly across the site because it's genuinely the #1 tip for better sex, applying just as much to men seeking bedroom improvement!

Sex genuinely matters within any relationship, and enthusiasm and passion outrank virtually everything else when it comes to actually good sex.

Far more important than mastering any position, blow job technique, or clever trick — and it compensates significantly for inexperience too.

Picture this scenario: you're having sex with him.

He's lying flat while you ride him in Cowgirl, except he's got what I'd call Starfish Syndrome. Here's what that looks like…

• Barely any movement.
• A blank stare at the ceiling.
• Total silence.
• Zero investment in your orgasm.

Essentially lying there lifeless, like a beached starfish. Genuinely a massive turnoff, leading to mediocre sex.

Now imagine instead him pulling your hair, staring intensely into your eyes, whispering filthy promises as he thrusts harder and deeper.

That kind of passion and enthusiasm is genuinely electrifying, right?

The same logic applies to him.

Adopting Starfish Syndrome yourself during Missionary leaves him equally unsatisfied. The fix? Bring more passion and activity into the mix. A few ideas for ramping up enthusiasm:

Use your hands – Regardless of position, your hands stay available.

• In Missionary, dig your nails into his back or trace fingers across his chest.
• In Jockey position, reach back to grab his arms or hold his hands.
• During Doggy Style, reach back, grip his ass, and pull him deeper with each stroke.
• Beyond nail-digging, simply grabbing and squeezing him as you climax works too — think shoulders or ass. Avoid anywhere that might genuinely hurt him... you'll likely surprise yourself with how much grip strength shows up mid-orgasm!

Thrust Back – Rather than leaving all the work to him, thrust back against his movements. Works especially well in positions offering that freedom, like Burning Man or Pump.

Bite Him – Done right, biting can feel genuinely intense. The goal is expressing passion, not causing real pain. Target less-sensitive areas, and rather than actually chomping down, lightly squeeze flesh between your lips. Good candidates include shoulders, upper back, chest, ass, and even inner thigh during oral sex or the 69 position.

Again, don't overdo this — real pain isn't the goal. Start with gentle nibbling and escalate gradually from there.

6. Unlock His Deepest, Darkest Desires

Got a fantasy that genuinely drives you wild?

Something — a kink, a fetish — that arouses you far more intensely than expected?

Maybe it's something you're comfortable sharing, or maybe something you suspect he'd judge you for?

Could be extreme domination, a rape fantasy, public sex, a foot fetish, or something else entirely.

Whatever it is, know this:

He's in an identical position. He's got his own kink or fetish driving him wild too.

Unfortunately, there's a catch…

Most of us live in a culture that discourages genuine self-expression. Whether traditional masculinity norms keep him from admitting a kink, or fear of seeming "weird" buries a fetish entirely, there's a strong chance something remains unshared.

Sharing and exploring his kinks together, though, puts you in an incredibly powerful position — becoming the only person capable of delivering his deepest desires.

So how do you get him to actually open up about fantasies, kinks, and fetishes?

Genuinely tricky, but generally starts with demonstrating you're non-judgmental about kinks overall.

Make clear this territory feels completely natural to you — sharing your own kinks first helps establish that. These conversations can feel intimidating, but they genuinely deepen sexual self-understanding too.

Plenty of common fantasies overlap more than people realize. Sex researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller surveyed over 4,000 people and found 89% had fantasized about group sex, and 60% about sadomasochism [1 p xix] — meaning genuine overlap between partners is genuinely likely. Most people sharing fantasies with partners also received neutral or positive reactions [1 p 166].

While that particular survey covers fantasy, not necessarily real-world desire, it still offers real reassurance about disclosing to a partner. Sharing tends to strengthen relationship satisfaction, even without perfectly overlapping fantasies. One study concluded "sexual self-disclosure is significantly associated with sexual satisfaction and functioning for both men and women" [2]. Other researchers reached similar conclusions, noting:

Love, commitment, and satisfaction were not only associated positively with the reports of own self–disclosure to partner and the beliefs about how much the partner disclosed, but also generally were associated with how much the partner reported disclosing [3]

Sexual satisfaction may genuinely improve through this kind of openness too — one study found both "[s]exual and nonsexual self‐disclosure were related to sexual satisfaction, relationship satisfaction, and sexual communication satisfaction" [4].

Alternatively, casually referencing a friend's particular fetish, without making it a big deal, can open the door to broader conversation even unrelated to that specific kink.

Direct questions work too — simply asking what he'd like to try, or whether particular fetishes exist — though this approach won't suit everyone. Trust your read on the situation.

Leading questions might land better in some cases:

• "Do you like it when I'm girly and submissive?"
• "Do you want me to be more aggressive and dominant tonight?"
• "Do you think it would be hot seeing me making out with another girl?"
• "Would you like me to get a pedicure for you?"

As he starts opening up, gently pull that thread further. Sometimes this unfolds quickly, sometimes over months.

Watch his reactions closely throughout. Continued openness means keep going; any sign of clamming up means pulling back.

Once his kinks, fetishes, and fantasies are clear, the fun part begins — actually delivering them.

This list of kinks & fetishes should help.

7. Be Sexually Selfish

Plenty of women don't realize how much most men genuinely enjoy watching their partner finish.

Sure, some guys are genuinely selfish and never prioritize your pleasure, but…

Most men actively want to witness your orgasm face and feel your body tense as you climax…

It ultimately boosts their ego too, knowing they're the one delivering that pleasure.

So…

• Embrace sexual selfishness.
• Prioritize the positions YOU genuinely enjoy most.
• Guide his hands exactly where you want them.
• Need more from his tongue while he's going down on you? Place your hands on his head and pull him closer.
• Show him precisely the stimulation that gets you there.

Taking this to a total extreme, ignoring his pleasure entirely, would mirror the selfish men mentioned earlier, so…

Be selfish sometimes, not constantly.

8. Anal Sex

Anal sex can genuinely go either way — fantastic or a total letdown.

Pleasurable, or painful.

Intensely orgasmic, or just messy.

Done right, it's genuinely amazing. Done wrong… ouch.

The core issue for most people who don't enjoy anal sex usually comes down to technique.

Which is exactly why this detailed, step-by-step guide on how to have pleasurable, clean, pain-free anal sex exists.

That said, it might genuinely not be for you regardless, and that's completely fine too — plenty of other paths exist toward better sex.

9. Talk Dirty

Hearing the advice to "talk dirty" often triggers assumptions about needing maximally explicit, extreme language.

That's actually a pretty limited way to think about dirty talk. It doesn't require extremity or vulgarity at all.

The real key: you're telling him a story, playing a role within it.

That story might be:

• A tale of raw, unbridled passion between you two.
• A romantic love story.
• A story about an aggressive man and a shy, naive woman.
• A story about serving him.
• A story about dominating him.
• A story where you're both baring your souls emotionally.

Note: Obviously not a literal story read line-by-line from a book together…absolutely not!

It's an improvised narrative from your imagination, woven directly into the moment, with both of you inhabiting roles.

So…

• Passionate, intense sex calls for dirty talk matching that energy — "I fucking love you," "I wanted you so much from the moment you walked in the door" or "Fuck me, harder" are great dirty talk examples here.
• Slower, more loving sex calls for gentler phrasing — telling him "I love you so much" while holding eye contact, or whispering "I can't believe I met you" tells that particular story perfectly.
• On top and dominating him via femdom energy? Pin his arms overhead and ask, "You like this, don't you? You like me being on top of you, in control?" Or if he's going down on you, grab his hair, pull him closer, and direct him precisely: "That's it, lick every inch."
• Feeling more submissive toward him calls for an entirely different tone — "I just want to make you have a good time" or "All I want to do is serve you" or "The only thing I can think of right now is making you cum" are good starting examples.

Reframing dirty talk as storytelling makes the whole thing feel dramatically more natural.

No memorized dirty talking phrases required — just genuinely inhabiting the character and letting it flow.

Having rough sex? Say whatever feels natural for that kind of story — "Harder, harder" or "Deeper, deeper" fit naturally.

Reuniting after a stretch of long distance? "I missed your body so much" while wrapping arms and legs around him, pulling him closer, fits that particular narrative perfectly.

The core skill: picture yourself within a story, then figure out what your character would naturally say in that scene.

Naturally, this only lands if genuinely felt and believed. For plenty of concrete examples of what to actually say, this guide on how to talk dirty has hundreds.

10. If You're Feeling Nervous, Do These 2 Things

Feeling nervous or awkward before or during sex, especially without much experience or past enjoyment, is entirely natural.

Two straightforward tips help here:

Do something to genuinely calm your nerves (obviously!)

• Have a drink or two beforehand (definitely not five!).
• The same logic applies to a little weed, where legal.
• Try light exercise or meditation to settle down.
• Something as simple as a candlelit bath can help you relax and feel sexier.

Recognize his nervousness too.

Plenty of women get so absorbed in their own nerves that his anxiety goes completely unnoticed. He's likely worrying about:

• How long he lasts.
• Whether his size measures up in your eyes.
• Getting hard, and staying that way.
• Genuinely satisfying you.
• Whether you like his body.
• Whether your attention is fully on him, or drifting elsewhere.

In other words, next time self-consciousness creeps in during sex, remember: he's feeling that exact same thing!

11. Make Him Talk

Sometimes chemistry with a partner just clicks instantly — bodies naturally synced, both knowing exactly what works. No real effort required. It's simply good!

Most couples aren't quite this lucky, though.

Most either gradually figure out what works together, or…

Never quite do.

Plenty of couples freeze up or feel awkward discussing sex, avoiding the exact conversations that would genuinely help. Understandable enough…

How do you tactfully suggest a partner needs to step up their game?

Thankfully, the heavy lifting's already been done in our guide to sexual communication. Follow those guidelines for a real path toward consistently great sex.

12. A Blow Job He Will Never Forget

An entire guide on how to give a great blow job already exists. Check it out for the best oral experience of his life — covering everything from buildup, 50+ distinct techniques, finishing strong, deep throating, and making it genuinely filthy-hot for you both! Definitely worth exploring for more sex advice specifically for women.

13. He's a unique snowflake, no really!

Recognizing his genuine uniqueness matters — his sexual preferences won't mirror every other man you've encountered.

• One past partner loving prostate stimulation doesn't guarantee he will too.
• The same holds for dominant vs. submissive leanings.
• Rough, aggressive sex might appeal more than gentle, loving sex for him…or the reverse entirely.

The key: treating him as a genuine "unique snowflake" and adapting your approach to his specific preferences and kinks. A genuinely good partner extends that same courtesy back to you.

14. Massage His Ego Sexually

Men have egos, sex included — no denying it. Barring genuine monk-level detachment, ego's always in play. Successfully massaging and boosting that ego sexually taps directly into his core identity, something plenty of women never actually leverage.

How exactly do you massage his ego sexually? A few dos and don'ts. Starting with the dos:

Do prioritize your own pleasure and orgasm – Genuinely one of the simplest tips here: focus on your own satisfaction, chasing as many orgasms as reasonably possible.

Sounds appealing, right?

Here's why that specifically boosts his ego:

Men feel powerfully masculine, ego dramatically inflated, when they genuinely feel responsible for your orgasm.

Genuinely that simple. One crucial caveat, though…

While focused on your own pleasure, make sure he registers his role in delivering it.

Let him know you're genuinely enjoying him – Making clear he's driving you wild obviously flatters his ego and elevates the whole experience for him. Indirect communication tends to land better than blunt statements, which can feel less sincere. So…

• Skip claiming his penis is massive (unless it genuinely is)
• Skip declaring him your best lover ever (unless genuinely true)
• Skip claiming your face is numb from finishing so hard (unless genuinely accurate)

Instead:

• Do bring your mouth close to his ear so your breathing and moans register clearly.
• Do grind against him, boosting your own clitoral stimulation while getting yourself there.
• Do run your hands over your favorite parts of his body.
• Do dig your nails in as climax approaches.
• Do pull him deeper as he finishes.
• Do let him witness your orgasm face fully. Men genuinely find it hot watching you lose control mid-orgasm, scrunched-up expression and all. Trust this. You might feel similarly watching his climax face too.

As mentioned earlier, honesty and sincerity remain the real foundation of ego-boosting during sex. Genuinely driven wild by him? Say so! Not quite there yet? Find a way to offer feedback that doesn't wound his ego unnecessarily.

15. Build Intense Anticipation & Uncontrollable Sexual Tension

Plenty of women (and men) completely overlook this tip, assuming great sex boils down purely to physical technique and position. In truth, technique and positioning represent just a small slice of what makes sex genuinely great. Plenty of other levers exist.

The bigger piece: creating and releasing sexual tension.

Here's the concept.

Remember that high school or college feeling when a genuinely attractive guy would look at you, talk to you, flirt — but nothing further would actually happen?

Your mind would spiral, thinking about him constantly, imagining every possible scenario. In fantasy, the sex was always incredible.

And if things eventually did happen, the release of that built-up tension felt genuinely amazing, elevating the sex itself.

Funny thing is, men experience the identical dynamic!

That's sexual tension in a nutshell.

That craving for something sexual to happen, held back by some obstacle preventing it.

And the longer that obstacle persists, the more intense the craving grows.

Then, once finally satisfied, that release feels genuinely incredible.

New relationships naturally brim with this tension, full of uncertainty about what happens next:

"Will he invite me back to his place?"
"Why hasn't he messaged back yet?"
"What did he mean when he said that?"

But…

As relationships mature, that tension fades, and excitement around sex often follows, slipping into comfortable routine…generally healthy for the relationship overall, but unfortunately fatal to tension and anticipation. Especially true once effort toward genuinely great sex tapers off.

Wanting to reignite genuinely intense mutual craving means mastering the art of building anticipation and tension deliberately.

Releasing it is the fun, easy part 😉

So how exactly do you build tension with him? Three distinct windows exist for building tension toward genuinely great sex later.

• While physically together.
• While apart.
• As you're leaving him.

16. Building sexual tension when you are together with your man

Remember, tension builds precisely when he wants something sexual but can't quite have it — some "barrier" blocking intimacy in that moment. A few concrete examples of building tension together:

17. Flirting

Flirting is genuinely your most powerful tension-building tool. Playfully misinterpret things he says, sprinkle in innuendo and double meanings sparingly, tease him about something silly, gently poke fun at his less serious opinions. Essentially, you're both reverting to teenage banter mode.

Done well, flirting builds tension beautifully. It's possible to overdo it too, though, tipping into childish territory rather than sexy — where he starts seeing you more like an annoying sibling than an intelligent, magnetic sparring partner. Check out our flirting guide to master those skills.

18. Saying Something Dirty

Dirty talk works brilliantly for building tension, though it demands some finesse. Most people associate dirty talk purely with the act itself, but it's genuinely more powerful as a tension-building tool. The trick: stay subtle, letting his imagination fill in the blanks. A few examples:

• At a party together, lean in and whisper, "Ugh, I wish I could just take you home and have my way with you, but I promised the host I'd stay till the end."
• While shopping together, suggest something mildly naughty: "I kind of feel like pulling you into one of these changing rooms, but I don't want to get in trouble."
• Seated together on a plane: "I knew we should have had a quickie this morning, I'm too horny just sitting here."

The whole goal: plant exactly what's on your mind, at a moment when nothing can actually happen yet. That leaves him anticipating for hours until the opportunity finally arrives.

Note: The examples above are just examples; whatever you actually say should feel authentic to your own personality and voice.

19. Eye Contact

Eye contact matters enormously here and can be genuinely tricky to nail while building tension. Countless articles claim to explain "sexy" or "sultry" eye contact specifically. Reality: what reads as "sexy" varies hugely between individuals and relationships.

My actual advice here stays simple:

Use eye contact to build tension in whatever way feels genuinely comfortable for both of you. Visible discomfort during prolonged eye contact undermines the whole effect — skip it if that's the case. Notice him growing uncomfortable? Ease off.

20. Get Physical

Escalating tension and anticipation further means introducing genuine physical contact.

• A playful nudge while joking around together.
• Snatch something of his, making him "fight" to reclaim it.
• Straighten his tie or brush lint off his clothes while teasing, "Didn't your mom teach you how to look after yourself?"

21. Hot & Cold

All this flirting advice loses its punch without also employing Hot & Cold. Staying perpetually "on" and fully engaged isn't sustainable while building genuine tension and anticipation. Occasionally dialing it back, focusing on conversation or whatever's at hand, matters too.

That contrast makes the flirtatious moments land with far more intensity and fun, and…

Acting "cold" occasionally leaves him hoping for a return to "hot."

Note: Hot & Cold here doesn't mean flirty warmth followed by genuine cold-shoulder treatment. It's purely about calibrating how much flirtation happens moment to moment. Flirt when it feels good; focus elsewhere when needed.

22. When You Are Apart

Physical separation still allows tension to stay alive through messaging apps, phone calls, and video chats.

Sexting or phone sex are options, naturally, but building genuine tension calls for a different tactic. A few ideas:

• Send suggestive photos.
• Send texts hinting at future plans together — indirect phrasing works best here.
• Share a dream or fantasy that involved him.
• Write and send a suggestive, though not fully explicit, story.
• Before reuniting, tease exactly what's planned for him later.

The key to sustaining tension while apart: let his imagination handle the heavy lifting. Overly specific details leave nothing for him to actually picture.

23. Leave on a High Note

Leaving him on a high note might be the single best way to keep him thinking about you, building anticipation for whatever comes next. And this technique doesn't even require the bedroom!

Several approaches work here (usually just one is genuinely enough):

• A passionate kiss right as you say goodbye.
• A grab or caress.
• Whispering something genuinely filthy in his ear. "I'll be masturbating to you this evening" or "I think I may name my vibrator after you" or "I can still feel you after last night" all work well.
• Telling him exactly what's planned for later: "I can't wait to taste you tonight" or "Tonight, I might wear that lingerie you bought me."

Leaving on a high note delivers maximum payoff for anyone genuinely serious about building tension.

So…

Three distinct windows for building tension and anticipation using the techniques above:

• While together.
• While apart.
• While leaving…on a high note.

Speaking of endings, one final thought on sexual tension: it eventually needs release. Building tension endlessly without ever releasing it just breeds genuine frustration, eventually working against you entirely — he may start assuming you're deliberately toying with him unkindly.

So build it, then release it…through genuinely hot sex. Then start building again!

Building tension with him tends to trigger reciprocal effort too, exactly what you want — he'll flirt back, talk dirty, send his own filthy texts. There's also a genuinely satisfying sense of power watching him work to finally release the tension you've built!

Now What?

Okay, that was a genuinely huge amount of advice! Bookmark this guide for easy reference, then pick one or two techniques to actually start practicing with him.

Combine massaging his ego, building intense sexual tension, and applying the specific techniques above, and you'll be delivering the best sex of his life. More importantly, you'll be having the best sex too!

Once these feel natural, explore additional techniques and consider combining a few together. Ready for more? Check out advanced blow job techniques and kinky sex tips.

One final note:

Plenty of readers forget this site offers advice, ideas, and general guidelines toward better sex — not rigid, universal laws. Some men will genuinely love specific techniques covered here, others less so. Truly mastering better sex means directly discussing preferences with your actual partner.

Figuring out which techniques and tips genuinely work for you, him, and your relationship together — while discarding whatever doesn't — is ultimately your job.

March 25, 2021