Rim Jobs Explained: A Guide to Bigger Orgasms

Compared to more mainstream bedroom activities, a rim job sits a little further off the beaten path. Plenty of people love it, but plenty of others aren't sold. Stimulating the area in and around the anus can be genuinely erotic — intense enough to heighten orgasms or even trigger one on its own. Some people can't get enough of the taboo thrill and call it "the best thing in the entire world." Others feel an "ick" factor that keeps them from ever exploring how to give one, so it's worth easing into rimming rather than rushing.

So What Is A Rim Job?

Put simply, analingus means licking your partner's anus. It's a different experience from using a butt plug or inserting a penis or toy for anal masturbation (get tips and tricks). It's closer to having a partner trace his finger around your entrance. There can be light penetration, especially with a more flexible tongue, but the main draw of a rim job is external stimulation. The upside is that it can feel great even if you're not interested in actual anal penetration.

Related: Why Do Guys Like Anal?

Both men and women enjoy giving and receiving rim jobs. Many find it surprisingly intimate, similar to regular oral sex — more on that here. If you've never brought it up before, you might introduce the idea by mentioning you saw it somewhere or heard friends discussing it. Even with genuine enthusiasm, don't be surprised if you meet some initial resistance.

If you're the one considering going down on your partner's backside, you might feel some hesitation too. But what better way to show devotion than exploring this together? That's actually part of why rim jobs pair so well with power-exchange dynamics. Check out this guide to being more dominant.

There's also a physical payoff for men — rimming can stimulate the prostate (read about anal orgasms for men and women), earning you serious bonus points. Learn more about the male G-spot here.

Most hesitation comes down to fear — fecal matter, bad smell, unpleasant taste. That concern is fair if you skip proper prep, but it doesn't have to be the reality. In fact, grabbing your partner for a quick lick right after a shower can be a low-pressure way to try it out together.

Getting Ready For A Rim Job

You'll want to go a step further with hygiene before rimming than you would before regular anal sex (tips for anal here). Follow the same basic prep:

• Have a bowel movement within the past day or so to clear things out
• Clean thoroughly, either with wet wipes or in the shower

You might also want to go a step further with an anal douche — squirting a small amount of warm water into the anus to rinse out any remaining matter. This is different from an enema, which uses much more water and specialized equipment. Douching is usually sufficient and can be done right over the toilet.

If you're the one giving, you can't always be sure your partner has cleaned properly beforehand, which is understandably a turnoff for some. The body naturally harbors bacteria that can be problematic here. Sharing an article like this one can help get you both on the same page.

You could also add a barrier — a dental dam or plastic wrap — between your mouth and your partner's body. Dental dams are small, single-use sheets typically sold near condoms. In a pinch, cutting open a non-lubricated condom works as a substitute barrier.

Feeling fully prepared might also mean shaving beforehand (tips on shaving down there). Both men and women tend to grow more hair around the anus than elsewhere on the butt, though men often have more to manage. That's completely normal. Since you can't easily see the area and it has curves, it takes a bit more care — using one hand to hold a cheek aside gives your razor more room to work.

A smaller razor with a simpler shape fits the area more easily, and a quality shaving cream like Coochy is worth using. If shaving causes irritation, Coochy also makes aftershave sprays and powders to reduce chafing. For sensitive skin, trimming instead of shaving can tidy up the area without the irritation risk.

Giving and Receiving

It might seem like there's no wrong way to receive, but that's not quite true. If you're tense or uncomfortable — even from unrelated stress — a tongue near your backside can feel more irritating than pleasurable. Plenty of foreplay, the right mood lighting and music, and proper prep beforehand can help you relax into it.

Once your partner gets going, you can simply lie back and enjoy it, or add a toy for penetration (learn how intimate strap-on play can be), or stimulate your own clit while being rimmed. Always use lube with toys to avoid discomfort. More on that.

Giving takes a bit more effort. Here are some techniques worth mastering for a rim job your partner won't forget:

• Trace circles around the anus with your tongue
• Flick your tongue briefly into the anus
• Use broad, flat licks up and down
• Try light touches using just the tip of your tongue

Get more tips like this on eating ass.

Don't neglect the rest of your partner's butt while you're at it — gentle nibbling, kissing, and licking all add to the experience. Many people also love perineum stimulation, the area between the anus and testicles or vagina. You can lick there directly, or, if you're rimming a man, press your fingers against that spot for indirect prostate stimulation that takes things to another level. Check out our guide to anal fingering for more.

Related: How to Stimulate His Prostate

Rimming works well with the receiver on all fours, similar to doggy style — more here. Lying on your back and lifting your legs also gives good access, as does standing with your partner kneeling behind you. Experiment with different positions to find what works best for you both.

Get inspired with these anal sex positions.

What to Actually Expect

Loving rimming doesn't mean you can skip precautions. Never move directly from anus to penis or vagina without cleaning up first, since that can spread bacteria and cause infection. The same rule applies to toys — don't use anything anally and then switch it to another opening.

You and your partner might not feel like kissing right after a rim job, and that's completely normal. A barrier like a dental dam can help ease any squeamishness. Then move on to passionate kissing.

Farting happens naturally from the rectum, and anal stimulation can sometimes trigger a bit of released air — similar to queefing during vigorous sex.

There's always some chance of encountering fecal matter, though it's less likely with proper prep beforehand. Unlike some other sexual activities, rim jobs carry no pregnancy risk (and neither does anal sex).

Read More: Analingus Guide aka Rimming aka Tossing The Salad

Some people just never warm up to rimming, and that's fine — pegging is worth trying instead. If your partner enjoys penetration, anal training might be worth exploring too.

Maybe you'd rather focus purely on your own pleasure. Did you know anal sex is possible during pregnancy?

Learning to give a great rim job really just requires mature, open communication between you and your partner. If you're not confident your partner can approach it that way, it might be worth waiting until the timing feels right.

If either of you isn't into rimming, you're far from alone. For some, it feels too risqué, especially for those who are more conservative or sexually reserved. Still, an open-minded partner should at least weigh the option before ruling it out entirely.

November 22, 2020