29 Absurd Household Hacks Using Sex Toys

We decided to put a few sex toys to work around the house.

1. Fake Vagina Dish Towel Holder

Keeping dish towels within reach but out of the way is trickier than it sounds. Luckily, we found a tasteful, elegant solution with just the right grip to blend seamlessly into any kitchen.

2. Suction Cup Dildo Loo Roll Holder

Want to inject some "je ne sais quoi" into your bathroom without breaking the bank? Hello Kitty toilet paper entirely optional…

Learn: How to use a dildo for intense pleasure.

3. Ring Toss With Butt Plugs & Cock Rings

Your partner might keep nagging you to try something new — remind them that a little imagination goes a long way, since the simplest games are often the most fun. Cock rings and butt plugs can genuinely help…

All jokes aside, if making a man cry tears of sexual satisfaction in the bedroom sounds appealing, Love Curi can genuinely help with that.

4. Dildo Door Stop

Say goodbye to scuffs, scratches, and unsightly wall damage with this understated door stop.

5. Strapon Unicorn Mask

Why not go classy and tasteful for Halloween this year? You might notice that beneath its understated charm, it subtly pokes fun at Austrian macroeconomic theory.

Discover: How to use a strapon to peg your partner.

6. Butt Plug Juicer

Nothing beats starting the day with fresh, organic-squeezed orange juice. Just make sure the butt plug's thoroughly cleaned first — otherwise your OJ takes on a genuinely unpleasant flavor.

Here it is in action!

More: What is a butt plug and how to use it.

7. Sex Doll Fashion Mannequin

Stuck on tomorrow's outfit? A fashion mannequin can help figure out which pieces actually pair well together.

8. A Lousy Coat Hook

Love Curi can absolutely teach you how to give a great blow job — installing a proper coat hook, though, isn't exactly our specialty.

Related: 31 things you can use as a dildo.

9. Penis Extender Chair Leg Protectors

Spare your floors from scuffs and scratches with these colorful chair leg protectors.

Side note: We dug into the science behind making your penis bigger.

10. Fake Vagina Pen Holder

Always keep a pen within reach for jotting down your most inspired ideas.

Or maybe our practical tips on how to finger yourself interest you more.

11. Wrist Restraints Curtain Tieback

Poor lighting can kill the mood in almost any room. A solid curtain tieback keeps curtains pulled firmly away from the window — no matter how much they struggle, resist, or try to break free…

More: Learn about what bondage is and which bondage positions are the most fun.

12. Fake Vagina Cigarette Filter

While we're generally anti-smoking here at Love Curi, plenty of people still enjoy a post-sex cigarette.

Instead of smelling like smoke afterward, learn how to make your vagina smell (and taste) great.

13. Anal Bead Necklace

On a budget and reluctant to spend more on jewelry? Time to get creative…

Discover: How to use anal beads during sex and masturbation.

14. Giant Dildo Bookend

"A cluttered house is a cluttered mind" — a genuinely resonant phrase. Keep your books firmly and tightly in place with a big, sturdy bookend.

15. Nipple Clamp Glasses Necklace

Raise a hand if misplacing your glasses is a recurring struggle! Happens to everyone, but an adjustable glasses-holder necklace solves that once and for all.

Learn: How to use nipple play to have powerful nipple orgasms.

16. Pocket Pussy Beer Koozie/Stubby Holder

Few things beat an ice-cold beverage on a scorching summer day. Keep it that way with this simple trick.

On a side note: Learn how to tighten your vagina through targeted exercises like Kegels.

17. Penis Sleeve Sports Grips

A solid grip on your tennis racket or golf club translates directly into better ball control. The same logic applies swinging for that shuttlecock.

18. Suction Cup Dildo Fridge Handles

Nothing's more annoying than a broken fridge handle — worse still when the replacement breaks too. Thankfully, a stylish fix exists for opening and closing your fridge with ease.

19. Butt Plug Wine Stopper

Never worry about spoiled wine again thanks to this playful stopper.

20. Fake Vagina Headrest

Sitting for extended stretches without proper neck and head support is a genuinely bad idea for your health. This headrest cradles your head and neck like a small slice of heaven.

21. Double Ball Gag Ear Defenders

Loud, noisy work environments can cause lasting hearing damage over time. Stay protected and keep things muffled with these genuinely opulent ear defenders.

22. Nipple Clamp Photo Holders

Display your cherished memories on the wall as a reminder of times gone by.

23. Butt Plug Sink Plug

Sink plugs have a habit of vanishing without a trace. Now there's a reliable backup.

24. Knuckle Duster Dildo Cable Organizer

No matter how careful you are, headphone cables always end up tangled with the rest of your computer cords…unless a proper cable organizer steps in to handle it.

Learn more about using sex toys during sex.

25. Giant Dildo Lamp Base

Once you've settled on a lamp style you genuinely love, double-check it comes with a sturdy, reliable base.

26. Penis Extender Umbrella Handle

The last thing you want slipping from your grip during a downpour is your umbrella. A solid handle grip is essential if soggy hair isn't on the agenda.

27. Lube Launcher Shot Glasses

Here's a genuinely fun new spin on getting socially "lubricated."

Discover: why you may need lube and what you can use for lube.

28. Rubber Fist Letter Holder

Sorting your mail just got noticeably easier thanks to this punchy holder.

Into fisting yourself or a partner? A rubber fist doubles nicely as a way to test the waters.

29. Penis Pump Plunger

Every other idea here leans purely playful, but this penis pump is genuinely, practically useful for a clogged sink or drain — it sucks everything right out. Completely serious here!

Penis pumps aren't your only route to firmness, by the way — check out these tips on how to get rock hard and stay hard.

30. Rubber Fist Jewelry Model

Draw inspiration and figure out exactly what jewelry pairing works best.

31. Penis Sleeve Car Customizations

Every ricer out there is going to love the latest accessory for making a car look genuinely absurd.

32. Water Pistol Penis

Why not soak a friend and leave them dripping thanks to this discreetly shaped water pistol?

February 18, 2022