How To Make A Guy Cum Fast & Hard: 4 Game-Changing Tips

Why bother reading through every sex tip on Love Curi if you still can't get your man to cum fast and hard? Exactly — you already know the answer. So today I'm walking you through exactly how to get your man off powerfully in just a few minutes by covering:

• The **SINGLE-**most-important thing you need to do to your man.
• How to make him cum harder than any other girl.
• Why buildup matters so much if you want him to have a truly satisfying orgasm.

Figuring out how to make a guy cum isn't complicated at all. Everything you need is right here on Love Curi. I'll walk you through what it takes to please your man and get him off intensely. Whether you're after a killer blowjob technique, dirty talk pointers, or solid sex positions, you'll find it all here. This piece breaks down the top strategies for anyone serious about delivering a powerful, hard orgasm.

1. It Comes Down to Enthusiasm

A lot of the students I talk to over at Love Curi don't grasp this concept until I break it down for them...

A huge piece of turning your man on is satisfying his ego — not just his body. Bringing genuine enthusiasm to sex sends a powerful subconscious signal that you're into him and turned on by being with him. That does wonders for his ego, which in turn cranks up his arousal.

Lying there passively during sex sends the opposite message — that you're not particularly attracted to or excited by him, which subtly tells his ego he doesn't measure up. That's the last thing you want if the goal is a hard, powerful orgasm.

I call this Starfish Syndrome — lying motionless like a starfish, arms, legs, and head barely moving. It's one of the biggest turn offs for almost every guy out there.

I wouldn't recommend learning technique from porn, but you'll notice something if you watch it: the performers are consistently enthusiastic and engaged throughout every scene.

Why?

Because it turns men on and pushes them toward a much harder finish.

Enthusiasm often means taking charge in bed, which admittedly makes some women self-conscious. Luckily, our advice for being confident when you're on top and in control can help you get past that.

Find Out What He Likes

Nearly everyone has a fantasy, technique, or position that turns them on far more than the standard routine. Learning your man's specific fantasies is key — it can push him toward a much harder orgasm than plain missionary ever will.

Related: The 10 Most Common Sexual Fantasies You Gotta Try

That fantasy might be something fairly tame, like dressing up for a bit of roleplay, or it could get more adventurous. Dirty talk is a common favorite that tips a lot of people over the edge, and you might love it too. Get inspired to talk dirty.

He might struggle to tell you what actually gets him there, sometimes because of guilt or a fetish that carries some shame for him.

Staying open-minded and judgment-free while discussing this with him matters a lot, along with genuine enthusiasm for trying new things together. Since these conversations can be tricky, check out our guide to sexual communication. Check out the sexual communication guide.

2. The Buildup

Sometimes a quickie is exactly what you need (find out more about quickies). But for an orgasm so intense he practically loses it, slow buildup is essential. That buildup can actually start hours before you're even together. Send him a few dirty texts ahead of time to raise the sexual tension and hint at what's coming. If you're out together in public, ramp things up with a line like:

I can't wait till we're alone, I've got a sexy surprise for you!

or

If we weren't in a public place right now, I would fuck your brains out!

How explicit you want to get is entirely your call.

Saying something like this turns him on through sheer implication. Since you can't act on it immediately with people around, it builds tension too. By the time you're finally alone together, he'll want to tear your clothes off.

Plenty of our readers say sexting works wonders for getting in the mood. Discover 11 ways to make yourself horny now.

Once you're alone, take things slow. Start with a passionate kiss, then move to a slow, teasing hand job — just don't let him finish yet. From there, you can transition into oral sex or intercourse.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Throughout this buildup, he might try to rush straight to sex. Don't let him. Stay in control and keep the pace slow and deliberate. When he finally does cum, he'll be glad he waited.

Get more foreplay tips.

Give attention to his entire body, not just his penis. While stroking or going down on him (tips in this post), don't neglect his balls. This extended buildup can also lead to more powerful orgasms for you and make intercourse feel even better.

3. Techniques to Make Him Cum Hard

Orgasm Control and Denial

Orgasm control is one of the best ways to deliver some of his most powerful orgasms yet. It's essentially about deciding when and how he's allowed to finish. Holding off his climax can make the eventual release that much harder.

Tips for denying orgasm here.

Try bringing him close to the edge and pulling back — or interrupting his climax outright — several times in a row. This technique, known as edging, produces orgasms he won't believe.

Read More: What Is Edging & Why You Should Use It Tonight

Orgasm control shines when you're firmly the one calling the shots.

Prostate Play

Prostate stimulation can be your fastest route to a hard, powerful finish. It's located inside the anus, though you can also reach it externally through the perineum if penetration isn't your thing. Plenty of straight guys are into this, so don't assume otherwise!

Men describe prostate-triggered orgasms as noticeably different from standard ones — often involving the whole body, and sometimes without ejaculation at all. Multiple orgasms are even possible this way [1 p.29].

Learn more about giving him amazing orgasms through prostate play.

Add Novelty

Shaking up your usual routine can help him cum harder — and sometimes quicker, too. Novelty comes in plenty of forms. Just switching rooms or positions can do the trick. Take the lead if you're usually more hands-off.

Bring in toys, try bondage, or explore each other's kinks and fetishes.

Learn all about bondage.

Some people find public sex thrilling precisely because of the novelty. The risk of getting caught can be a rush, but be careful — the consequences can be serious. Having sex somewhere like near a school, for instance, could get you labeled a sexual predator. A remote camping spot offers that same thrill with much less actual risk.

Try Tantra

Tantric sex centers on sharing energy between partners. Some treat tantric sex and tantric masturbation as a spiritual practice. It engages the whole body, with particular attention paid to breathing.

You may have come across some of the well-known tantric positions already.

Curious to learn more? Check out our guide to tantric sex.

Use Tools

If he tends to take a while to finish, consider adding a few tools to the mix. Cock rings restrict blood flow leaving the penis, penis pumps assist with erections, and certain medications can support erectile and orgasmic function.

Find out how to pick and use a cock ring.

If there's an underlying health reason behind slow or weak orgasms, his doctor can suggest appropriate medication. Cabergoline is one option worth discussing [2].

4. The Release

If things are taking longer than you'd like, try these approaches to help him finish. Different tactics land differently depending on the guy, so expect some trial and error to see what clicks for yours...

• Tell him you want or need him to cum in or on you — even begging works for some. If you're feeling more dominant, demand it outright, or whisper it in his ear.
• Try telling him not to cum. Some guys can't hold back once you say that, and it pushes them over the edge fast.
• Stimulate his prostate.
• Moan, breathe heavily, and let him know you're enjoying yourself.
• Have your own orgasm first. Some guys hold back until their partner finishes. You could also suggest finishing together if you've got good control over your own timing.

Whatever triggers work for him, use them to your advantage. Learning what makes your guy finish faster can feel genuinely empowering.

After all that slow, deliberate buildup, his eventual orgasm will hit hard.

Frequently Asked Questions

FAQ #1 – Is there a secret to making a guy cum hard?

Usually, every guy has something specific that works for him. Ask him directly, or take the time to learn through experimentation and by reading his body language. Dirty talk (including asking or demanding that he finish), showing genuine enthusiasm, and attention to his balls or prostate tend to work well across the board.

FAQ #2 – What makes one orgasm better than another?

Plenty of factors shape the intensity of an orgasm. You've probably noticed this variation in your own experience. Sexual tension (see "The Buildup" above), novelty (new partners, toys, settings), fantasy, and even the thrill of possibly getting caught all play a role.

Honestly, we can't always pin down exactly why one orgasm feels more powerful than another.

FAQ #3 – How long should it take a guy to cum?

Don't get too hung up on an ideal timeframe, but research can at least give you a general sense. One study found the median time to ejaculation after vaginal penetration was 5.4 minutes, with the longest-lasting men taking 44 minutes (circumcised) or 37 minutes (uncircumcised) [3]. Marathon sex sessions aren't really the norm.

Interestingly, another survey of sex therapists found the "desirable" length for penetrative sex falls between 7 and 13 minutes, with 3 to 7 minutes rated as "adequate" [4]. The average duration lands right in that "adequate" range.

If you've built enough sexual tension through foreplay, chances are he'll finish hard and you'll feel satisfied too, even if penetration itself runs on the shorter side.

Still, try not to fixate on duration. Prioritize quality over quantity. Your sex life is something you're building together. Focusing on collaboration and figuring out what actually works for the two of you will get you further [5].

FAQ #4 – Why does my partner take so long to cum.

There are several reasons a guy might take a long time to finish with you, and plenty have nothing to do with you at all.

Many men struggle to finish with a partner because they're used to a firm, fast masturbation style. If he's accustomed to quick, intense stroking, it can take him much longer to climax during sex even when it feels great. Encouraging him to ease up on solo sessions — doing it less often or less intensely for a while — can make it easier for him to finish with you.

Depression can affect sex in numerous ways, including tanking sex drive and reducing sensitivity, which makes orgasm harder to reach.

Unfortunately, medications used to treat depression and anxiety can also blunt pleasure and delay orgasm [6]. Drugs originally developed for depression are, in fact, a known cause of delayed ejaculation [7]. Blood pressure medications and others can interfere with orgasm too [8].

A handful of other factors linked to delayed or absent ejaculation include:

• Multiple sclerosis [9]
• Diabetes [10]
• Stroke [11]
• Nerve damage [12]
• Drug use [13]
• Alcohol consumption [14]
• Shame, fear or guilt about sex
• Performance anxiety [15]
• Poor body image [16]
• Hormonal imbalance [17]
• Testosterone deficiency [18, 19]
• Hypogonadism [20]
• Thyroid conditions [21]
• Prolactinoma [22]

If any existing health conditions or medication changes come to mind, and you suspect one might explain his delayed ejaculation, encourage him to bring it up with his doctor. Delayed ejaculation can bring on anxiety, dent self-esteem, and reduce overall relationship satisfaction [23].

Kegel exercises are another way to strengthen orgasmic function. You've probably heard about Kegels for women, but men benefit too — encourage him to strengthen his pelvic floor with them.

Related: 4 Kegel Exercises That Will Supercharge Your Sex Life!

Condom use can delay ejaculation for a lot of men [24]. That said, it's worth exploring other birth control options or more natural-feeling condoms rather than skipping protection altogether (Read: Is Sex Without A Condom OK?). Watch out for numbing agents in condoms or lube — they dull pain, but also the sensations that build toward orgasm.

Find out how lube can make sex more comfortable and pleasurable.

Sometimes delayed or absent orgasm stems from relationship friction [15]. Leaving those issues unaddressed can keep the sexual problems going.

Past sexual trauma can also make orgasm more difficult [25].

Age plays a role too — orgasm can take longer, or become harder to reach altogether, as men get older [26].

Finally, some guys are actively trying to hold off because they believe they need to last longer for their partner's sake. He might assume you expect 30 or 40 minutes and be working hard not to finish as a result — which can end up feeling uncomfortable or even tedious. Talk openly with your partner about what you actually want so you're both on the same page.

FAQ #5 – Is there something wrong if he can't cum with me?

As covered above, difficulty finishing could stem from relationship tension. He might simply be nervous with you, or dealing with body confidence or sexual anxiety. Health factors can play a role too. Bottom line: it might have nothing to do with you at all.

There may not be anything specific you can do about it. That said, couples therapy can help if relationship dynamics are at the root of the issue. Individual therapy can also help him work through anxiety or other sexual hangups on his own. A professional will typically try to rule out relationship-related causes by checking whether the same difficulty shows up during masturbation [27].

August 14, 2020