31 Everyday Objects You Can Use As A Dildo

Despite a thriving sex toy industry, plenty of women first explore insertable play with objects never designed for sexual use. Grabbing something from the produce aisle, or at least considering it, for masturbation purposes puts you in good company. Curious about the full range of techniques for genuinely powerful, back-arching orgasms with a dildo? Check out my in-depth Dildo Guide here.

Want to jump straight to the 31 household items worth trying as a dildo? Click here. Otherwise, keep reading first to stay safe using a banana, cucumber, or similar object.

Safety Considerations When You're Wondering What To Use As a Dildo

Three main concerns come up around vaginal insertion for orgasm (read the Orgasm Guide for a full rundown on reaching climax), or anal insertion too (more anal orgasm tips here).

1. Could it introduce bacteria or trigger infection?
2. Could it snap or break apart?
3. Could it cause physical injury?

The vagina maintains a delicate, sensitive pH balance. Anyone who's dealt with a bacterial or yeast infection already knows how uncomfortable that imbalance feels. Sex toy manufacturers have taken this seriously too, which explains all those shelves stocked with body-safe silicone, wood, ceramic, glass, and stainless steel dildos and vibrators (great tips for getting the most out of your vibrator here).

What unites those materials: they're either naturally nonporous, or can be coated to become that way. Porous materials contain microscopic holes invisible to the naked eye, capable of harboring bacteria even after a thorough wash.

Most household objects reached for as makeshift dildos, though, are genuinely porous — wood, rubber, even fruits and vegetables all qualify. Short of gamma radiation, fully eliminating bacteria from these isn't realistic.

Worth considering too: that zucchini may still carry pesticide residue!

Sugar is another infection risk factor, being a primary driver of yeast infections. That's exactly why chocolate syrup is a genuinely bad idea — though it's not limited to refined sugar. Naturally sugary fruits like bananas carry similar risk, so choosing wisely matters here.

Wrapping a condom around a banana or vegetable helps cut infection risk considerably.

Note: A peeled banana is genuinely dangerous, since it can snap and become lodged inside the vagina. Never use a peeled banana.

Similarly, anything prone to breaking — wax candles, softer produce, glass items — is a poor choice. While the cervix blocks anything from migrating further into the uterus, nothing good comes from a broken fragment floating around, risking cuts or infection!

Finally, when weighing options as a substitute for a penis or fingers, avoid anything that could genuinely damage vaginal tissue. Sharp edges, creases, or nubs all carry real risk here, vegetable stems included. Certain squash and zucchini varieties, for instance, aren't smooth enough for safe internal use. When picking dildo substitutes specifically, prioritize smooth surfaces free of ridges or bumps that could tear vaginal lining and raise infection risk!

A condom helps here too, though a sufficiently rough object can tear right through it. Note: interested in mastering fingering technique instead? Learn the 8 different fingering techniques here for powerful vaginal orgasms.

What About Using An 'Alternative' Dildo For Anal?

The same porosity and infection concerns apply, plus one more consideration specific to anal use. [Click here to read the anal sex guide here] Unlike the vagina, blocked by the cervix, the anus continues directly into the colon and lower intestine. Objects lacking a proper flared base or handle risk getting pulled entirely inside — a genuinely embarrassing trip to the ER waiting to happen!

Assuming a safely flared base or looped handle is in play, sanitation remains the other genuine concern. Even a condom might not fully cut it here, making nonporous materials — safely sterilized via bleach or boiling — the smarter choice. Realistically, once something's been used anally, it's best reserved for anal use going forward. More anal sex tips here and learn 19 of the most satisfying anal sex positions here.

So What Can I Use As a Dildo Safely…Here's 31 Ideas…

Alright, here are 31 different household items worth considering as a makeshift dildo….

(Just remember to wrap them in a condom first)

• Hairbrush
• Electronic toothbrush (doubles as a makeshift vibrator too)
• Regular toothbrush handle
• Handle of spoon
• Handle of make up brush
• Handle of screwdriver
• Handle of hammer
• Handle of a razor, given the ridged design many feature (blade always removed first)
• Handle of saucepan
• Perfume bottles
• Shampoos bottles
• Mascara bottles
• Make up bottles
• Baseball bat (if it actually fits!)
• TV remote
• Candle, or several
• Handle on a tennis racket
• Handle of a riding crop
• Markers
• Pen, or a bundle of them (just confirm they won't leak)
• Ice (avoid anything cold enough to cause ice burns, and make sure it slides out easily)
• Popsicle

Smooth vegetables work well too, including:

• Cucumber
• Banana (unpeeled only)
• Carrot (or a bundle of them)
• Zucchini
• Small eggplants
• Non-spicy peppers – genuine caution advised here
• Bundle of asparagus
• Leek
• Corn still on the cob
• Rhubarb

Wrapping any of these in a condom remains essential to help avoid yeast infections or worse.

By the way, targeting your G Spot with a makeshift dildo? Check out this detailed guide on locating and properly stimulating it.

Also, for maximum pleasure while masturbating with any dildo, the techniques in the Dildo Guide here apply just as well.

Among everything listed, ice is likely the safest choice overall, though it's genuinely not for everyone and can pose risk if too cold and sticking to skin. Plenty of unsafe choices circulate too — peeled bananas, frozen hot dogs, vacuum attachments — all riddled with bacteria and prone to breaking apart inside the body! Weighing what to use as a dildo means thinking well beyond just size and shape!

Plenty of people have also tried water or soda bottles. Potentially safe, but genuinely thorough cleaning is essential, since bacteria tends to gather around the mouthpiece with repeated use. A glass bottle with a narrow neck is probably the cleanest, safest bet, though a small risk of suction effects — or breakage — exists too. Best advice: avoid glass bottles wherever possible.

Try these 14 powerful masturbation techniques for full-body orgasms starting today (this guide includes detailed illustrations walking through exactly what to do).

How to Safely Play With Makeshift Dildos

Condoms have already come up repeatedly for reducing infection risk, but they're not the only safety measure worth taking. Washing and sterilizing any makeshift dildo with soap and water, or dedicated toy cleaner, before insertion is essential. Boiling an item for several minutes, or spraying it with a 10% bleach solution and letting it sit briefly, sterilizes it effectively provided it's nonporous. Don't skip rinsing it thoroughly afterward!

Just as lube eases insertion with an actual dildo, the same logic applies to any household substitute, especially anything requiring real stretch. Water-based or silicone lube is readily available at most drugstores. Pure coconut oil works safely as lube too.

Olive oil works similarly, though washing it fully off skin, hands, and the object itself proves trickier than with water-based lube. Oil-based lubes also break down condoms, undermining that layer of infection protection.

Pure aloe or carrageenan also function as lube, and both show up as ingredients in plenty of store-bought formulas. Steer clear of butter or sugary cooking ingredients, given the yeast infection risk. Baby oil is generally a poor internal choice too, thanks to its mineral oil content. Scented lotions or products carry similar risk, potentially disrupting vaginal balance and triggering infection.

Reaching for unsafe substitute dildos carries real risk across the board. Embarrassing as shopping for a proper, body-safe dildo might feel, it pales next to an ER visit caused by an object never meant for insertion in the first place. If an alternative genuinely is the only option, a condom plus genuine common sense go a long way.

October 3, 2020