71 Flirty Text Message Ideas To Send A Guy

Flirting doesn't require being in the same room. Texting and messaging a guy is a great way to build sexual tension, whether you're just getting to know someone or already deep into a relationship with him.

There are some straightforward dos and don'ts worth following to steer the conversation and hold his attention. Let's start with the "Dos" of flirting by text, or jump straight to the flirty text examples.

1. Do Start Light

Don't go overboard right out of the gate. There's a real difference between opening a flirty conversation and being fully explicit about what you'd do together in private.

Both have their place, but if you're just getting to know him, or you're unsure how he'll react, ease in and gauge his response first. After a few exchanges, you'll get a feel for whether you're coming on too strong, or whether he's just unsure how to flirt over text himself.

The same logic applies to flirting in person. More on that in our guide to flirting with a guy in person.

2. Do Stay A Little Ambiguous Sometimes

Flirty messages don't need to spell everything out. A bit of coyness, some playing hard to get, works over text too. Making things too easy for him kills the fun of the back-and-forth that makes flirting exciting in the first place.

Every so often, drop something a little open to interpretation. That keeps him guessing just enough to stay hooked and eager to keep the conversation going. Losing his interest is the real risk here, and a little ambiguity helps guard against that.

If you're not totally sure how he feels, staying vague is a solid way to flirt over text without tipping your hand too obviously.

3. Do Tease Him

A little playful teasing, in both directions, is healthy in any relationship. It ratchets up the tension between you two. More on building sexual tension here. A well-placed tease in your texts is a great way to get him worked up and thinking of a clever comeback to fire back.

4. Do Send Plenty Of Pictures

Texting isn't just about words. Snapchat, WhatsApp, iMessage, and every other app make sending photos effortless, and a picture really can say more than paragraphs of text.

A photo of you looking great can absolutely turn him on, but casual, fun shots can be just as effective, maybe even more so. Seeing you smiling, winking, or just living your life makes him want you even more. Pair the right photo with a witty caption or joke, and he'll be hooked.

Photos also work because men tend to be visually wired, they want to actually see the person they're flirting with, which keeps them engaged.

Psst, audio or video can raise the stakes even further if you're up for it.

5. Do Mix In More Than Just Words

This builds on the last point. Don't rely purely on text. Plain words on a screen get stale fast, especially given how visual most guys are. Spice things up with emojis, gifs, or a meme tied to an inside joke between you.

6. Do Occasionally Make Him Wait

You want him to want you and know you're interested, without seeming overeager.

Sounds a little contradictory, right? Here's the logic.

Answer instantly every single time, and he'll assume you're just sitting around waiting on his texts. Not a great look, and it can actually kill his interest.

So make him wait sometimes (not always). It signals you've got a full life outside of texting him, which reads as more attractive. It also helps him see you as a complete person, valuable whether you're already together or still figuring things out.

Get advice for when to text him (and when NOT to).

7. Do Personalize It

Classic lines like the ones below work fine, but they're generic by design, meant to apply to anyone. Sometimes that means they won't quite fit the person you're texting, or come across as hollow. And there are only so many times you can recycle the same line before it gets stale.

The fix is simple: make it personal. Build your flirting around what you actually know about him, his strengths, or areas where a little extra confidence might land well. That keeps every message unique to him and gives you a much bigger toolbox to draw from.

8. Do Leave Him Wanting More

Part of flirting well is knowing when to pull back. That doesn't mean disappearing or cutting the conversation off abruptly, just making it clear you're not endlessly available. If life keeps you busy, this comes naturally. Making him wait a bit before replying, or before starting a new conversation, can build genuine excitement.

Signing off during a natural lull works too. It signals you're in demand while keeping things from dragging on too long, nobody wants to come across as clingy. He might even ask you to stay longer, or invite you over, and you can graciously say yes.

The same principle applies to photos, videos, or audio. A hint often lands harder than showing everything. It also keeps your content varied. A few ways to do that:

• Drape a sheet or scarf over yourself
• Shoot silhouettes or use a screen or divider
• Snap a bath photo with bubbles covering the key spots
• Cover yourself with your hands or arms
• Wear lingerie
• Crop or angle the shot to highlight one specific area
• Wear an oversized tee or button-down for the shot
• Dim the lighting
• Show just a hem of your skirt or the top of your stockings

You don't need professional photography skills to make an impression, a little extra setup effort goes a long way. And if you enjoy the process itself, that's a bonus.

Psst, more flirting tips here.

9. Do More Than Flirt If You Want A Relationship

Some people flirt purely for the fun of the exchange, others are after something sexual, and some genuinely want a relationship. None of these are wrong, but they do shape how you should approach things.

If you're texting someone you've never met and don't plan to, sticking to pure flirting is fine. But if meeting up is the goal, you'll eventually need to talk logistics, and sexual health if things head that way.

If you're after a real connection, though, you'll need to go further, learn about him as a person and share something real about yourself too. That's the foundation every solid relationship needs. Flirty or sexual texts can absolutely be part of that mix (and can even reveal things about him), but staying purely in that lane means missing everything deeper.

That covers the dos. Now, the don'ts of flirting by text...

1. Don't Force It

Flirting shouldn't feel like work. It should flow naturally, with an easy back-and-forth. If it isn't flowing, there's usually a reason. Pause and figure out why instead of pushing through. Maybe he's not the right match, maybe you're having an off day, or something got misread along the way.

Whatever the cause, forcing it rarely helps. Let it go for now, switch topics, or end the conversation. Flirting should feel fun, not obligatory.

2. Don't Overdo The Flirty Messages

Knowing how to flirt over text also means knowing when to stop.

If every single message is flirty, how's he supposed to know when you actually need a serious conversation? Build in stretches of genuinely serious talk too.

Mixing things up teaches him there's a time for flirting and a time for real conversation, strengthening your communication as a couple and helping him see you as more than just a flirt partner. The same goes for dirty texts too (107 dirty text messages), variety matters there as well.

3. Don't Feel Pressured To Send Nudes

Flirting over text never requires nudes. Even in a long-term relationship, they're never a requirement. If he's pushing you to send them, don't. If you're only considering it because you think he'd like it, don't.

Only send them if you genuinely feel comfortable and actually want to. Pressure of any kind is a sign it's not the right move. Keep that in mind and you'll make solid choices here. For more along these lines, check out the guide to having Skype sex.

4. Don't Skip Reading The Room

"Reading the room" usually means picking up on the mood of the people around you and responding appropriately, a funeral calls for something different than a birthday party. It's trickier over text, but the skill still matters.

With flirty texting, that can mean a few things:

• Watch the length and frequency of his responses to gauge whether he's actually available to chat right now. Short replies might mean it's better to circle back later when he has more time and energy.
• Pay attention to how he responds to sexier messages. Matching your energy or expressing enthusiasm is a green light. Reserved responses or a subject change means it's time to dial it back or send something more ambiguous he can respond to either way.

Remember, low responsiveness usually has nothing to do with you. He might be swamped at work, facing a deadline, dealing with the kids, or just having a rough day. None of that reflects on you, and things often go right back to normal.

That said, if you catch yourself chasing validation through these messages, it can start to read as clingy fast.

Psst, this guide can help you figure out if he's flirting with you.

5. Don't Leave Him Doing All The Work

Flirting is a two-way conversation. Sit back expecting compliments and clever lines without contributing your own, and he'll likely lose interest fast. You've probably been on the receiving end of that dynamic yourself and know how draining it feels.

Instead, stay engaged. Fire back witty banter or teasing of your own. Ask questions (without turning it into an interrogation). Start conversations yourself sometimes too. Sharing that effort keeps things balanced and both of you invested.

71 Flirty Message Examples

Here's a stockpile of messages to jumpstart your flirting. Pick whichever fit your style, tweak freely, and treat these as a launching point rather than a script, let the conversation grow naturally from there. Flirting should feel enjoyable for both of you. If it feels stiff or awkward, try a different angle.

1. Tell me what you're wearing.
2. Had a pretty vivid dream about you last night.
3. I just found something we absolutely need to try…I think you'll be into it 😉
4. Stranded on a desert island with me, what three other things would you bring?
5. This morning (last night/the other day) was incredible.
6. Pink or white panties for you tonight?
7. What would you do if we were alone together right now?
8. Do you have a twin? Could've sworn I just saw him walk by.
9. Something tells me you're a dog person?
10. I love it when you wear [item of clothing] — you looked amazing the other day.
11. Something tells me you're partial to blow jobs over hand jobs?
12. Would you be upset if I kissed you?
13. Guess what I'm doing right now [send a suggestive photo].
14. Tell me your go-to fantasy.
15. Been messing around with my photography skills. Thoughts? [with a photo]
16. This is what happens when I think about you [with a suggestive photo].
17. What should I wear for our date/next time we're together? [offer two photo options or leave it open]
18. Sometimes I just stare at your mouth and forget what I was saying.
19. I've got a problem you might be able to help with [can stay PG or get spicy].
20. You've got a killer smile.
21. Bet you're great at pool [or another skill he can show off].
22. Arms/legs/etc like that? You must be putting in serious gym time.
23. You have to share your workout routine. It's clearly working.
24. You seem so natural with kids [or animals].
25. My [cat/dog] trusted you instantly. That says a lot about you.
26. Every woman in that bar noticed when you walked in.
27. You're the whole package.
28. You seem almost too good to be true.
29. Genuinely, how is a person this good-looking, smart, and funny even real?
30. I bet you've got plenty of admirers, of every gender.
31. How is someone like you still single?
32. Where have you been all my life?
33. Something tells me you know exactly what you're doing in the bedroom [or garage, to keep it PG].
34. Sometimes I look at you and completely lose my train of thought.
35. When I first saw you, I genuinely thought you were [celebrity lookalike].
36. My friends won't stop asking about my new attractive friend [or "the guy who's taking up all my time" if you haven't met yet].
37. I still can't believe I've got your attention.
38. I thought guys like you only existed in movies.
39. You're my favorite person right now.
40. Been having some not-so-innocent thoughts about you. Mutual?
41. I don't know what's come over me, I can't stop thinking about you.
42. What's one thing you haven't tried in bed but really want to?
43. You make me feel so at ease.
44. There's just something about you I can't shake.
45. I'd love to show off my special talent for you sometime.
46. Working on a new recipe [or striptease routine, for something spicier]. Want a preview?
47. I love seeing your name pop up on my phone right before bed.
48. Morning, handsome.
49. I genuinely don't know how you take up this much space in my head.
50. I don't think I've ever been this turned on by someone.
51. I have to tell you about this [book/show] that reminded me of you.
52. Kept thinking about [joke he told] and laughed out loud all over again.
53. You look like someone who knows how to have a good time.
54. I'd love to let you tie me up and take control.
55. I get way too excited every time you text me.
56. Up for a flirty text game?
57. Tell me your wildest story. Bet I can top it.
58. So glad [friend] introduced us.
59. Could you teach me that [skill] you're so good at?
60. Bet you can't guess my favorite thing about you.
61. Everything's just brighter since you showed up.
62. What a great surprise running into you at [location]!
63. Let me guess — you're good at [skill]?
64. Such a flatterer. My turn now [insert compliment].
65. I love the way you look at me.
66. You make me feel really good about myself.
67. I hate being apart from you.
68. You seem to bring out my best side. What's your secret?
69. You make [talent] look effortless.
70. You handle pressure so well — genuinely impressive.
71. When's the last time you thought about me?

Find over 115 more flirty text ideas here if you want even more inspiration.

Treat every one of these as a starting point, not a script.

Flirting over text throughout the day is genuinely fun, and it builds sexual tension that can carry straight into your next in-person encounter.

How well you know him, and how quickly you want things to move, should shape your approach too. Not everyone's on the same timeline.

Getting to know someone new? Keep things a little lighter at first. You don't know him well yet, so diving in too fast might backfire. Already in a relationship? Feel free to get more direct or explicit.

Either approach works, as long as you're both genuinely comfortable with the level of flirting happening. If it feels off, or he's not responding the way you hoped, it might be time to adjust your approach.

Watch his cues closely. Slow or noncommittal responses are worth noting, maybe texting just isn't his thing, or maybe his interest isn't quite where you'd hoped. Either way, it's worth knowing, since your flirting deserves someone genuinely into it, and into you.

Understanding him and where he's coming from is really the key to getting the results you're after with flirty texting.

Frequently Asked Questions

FAQ #1 – Should I send nudes over text?

First, you never have to send nudes if it doesn't feel right. Phones get lost, accounts get hacked, and there's always a chance a photo gets shared without consent, especially post-breakup, when emotions run high. And definitely don't send them if someone's pressuring you, that's a clear sign they don't respect your boundaries.

That said, if you do want to send them, here are some tips for staying safer while doing it.

• Keep your face and any identifying tattoos or marks out of frame.
• Consider asking for something in return so it feels mutual.
• Use an app with disappearing messages.
• Store any sexy photos or videos in a protected folder.
• Anyone can take a great sexy photo. This guide can help you feel confident and nail the shot.
• Get a trusted friend's feedback on your photos.
• Mix up your angles and styles.

There's only so much you can control once a photo's sent, so ultimately it's entirely your call whether you're comfortable doing it.

FAQ #2 – What if I'm just bad at flirting?

Don't stress. Texting means he can't see your face, and you don't need to come up with witty lines on the spot. Stay genuine and lean on what you actually know about him (see the point on personalizing things above). Don't know much yet? Ask questions, genuine curiosity reads as flirty all on its own.

And remember, not every message needs to be flirty, especially if you're hoping for something more than just a fling.

April 11, 2021