5 Top Sex Positions For A Small Penis [+3 Techniques To Make Her Cum]

This updated guide proves you can still have an amazing sex life if you or your man has a small penis, and it hands you techniques for getting the most out of small penis sex! First, I'll walk through some of the underlying issues around small penises, then get into positions and techniques (oral, squirting, and more!). Don't skip the first section, there's a lot to learn there.

First, Is Your Penis Actually Small?

Plenty of guys feel insecure about penis size when it's actually right around average. Averages do vary globally. A meta-analysis pooling 21 penis size studies, covering 13,719 measured men, found that "the average length of an erect penis is between 5.1 and 5.5 inches (12.95-13.97 cm) [1]." That said, the researchers noted that "after taking volunteer bias into account, it is probably toward the lower end of this range [1]."

Another study put the erect length range for most men at 5-6.5 inches [2] or 5-6 inches [3 p 4]. A review pulling together data from over 15,000 men landed closer to the lower end, at 5.17 inches average length with 4.59 inches of girth [4].

Note: We recently ran a study with 1,387 women participating where we discovered how small is too small for women. The findings were genuinely surprising, worth a look if size is weighing on you.

Even so, a lot of men still feel undersized. Why? Porn has heavily shaped what people consider "small." Since most of us see penises almost exclusively in porn, and porn features especially long, thick penises that aren't representative of the general population.

Research out of CSULA and UCLA found that while 85 percent of women were satisfied with their partner's penis size, only 55% of men were satisfied with their own, and 45% wanted to be bigger [5]. This gap is common enough to have its own name, "small penis syndrome [6 p 202]," describing anxiety over having a below-average penis.

You don't need to go survey other men's penises, but remember that what shows up on screen is there because it fits a specific mold, and real penises vary far more widely.

When it comes to penis size, two things matter: length and girth. Length seems straightforward but is more complicated than most assume. The penis extends beneath the skin, surrounded by a fatty pad, which is why men who lose weight often appear to gain length.

There's even a rule of thumb that every thirty pounds lost adds roughly an inch of visible length.

Girth refers to thickness, measured either as circumference or diameter. These traits often correlate, though not always. A micropenis is both short and thin, but a penis can otherwise be long and thin, or short and wide. For some women, a shorter penis isn't a dealbreaker as long as it's thick enough.

What About A Micropenis?

Some men have an unusually small penis classified as a micropenis. While a "small" penis is just somewhat below average, a penis officially qualifies as a micropenis when it falls 2.5 standard deviations below the age-adjusted average [8].

"2.5 standard deviations" sounds like dense science jargon, so let's unpack it.

Take the BJU International study mentioned earlier, which found an average erect length of 5.17 inches with a standard deviation of .65 inches [4]. Multiplying 2.5 by .65 inches gives you 1.625 inches.

5.17 inches minus 1.625 inches equals 3.545 inches. So by that study's math, anything at or below 3.545 inches counts as a micropenis.

While plenty of people casually label anything under 3 inches a micropenis, a longer penis could still technically qualify if a given culture's average runs higher than the global norm.

To be clear, there's no universal consensus on the exact cutoff. One other study found most men with micropenises fall within 2 standard deviations of average [9].

While an ordinary small penis usually reflects normal variation, a micropenis can result from hormonal issues during fetal development [10], possibly tied to gene mutations [13] or other causes.

Read More: 14 Answers to Your Big Questions About A Micropenis

Can A Small Penis Be Made Bigger?

The internet is packed with get-big-quick schemes that can look tempting to a guy who feels insecure about his size, especially if women have made an issue of it before.

The truth: there's no FDA-approved product that actually makes your penis bigger.

You can pay for surgery, or buy supplements and unregulated products that might increase size somewhat, but nothing should go into your body without a doctor's approval, supplements included. These can interact badly with existing medications or cause harm on their own, especially anything injected directly into the penis.

Some devices can temporarily increase size or strengthen an erection, making it look or feel larger than it actually is. More on those in the "Tools" section below!

It's also worth losing weight if you're carrying extra pounds. More body fat means a larger fatty pad surrounding the penis, hiding length that would otherwise show. These 12 positions are great for fat couples.

Research also shows that excess weight tends to undercut sexual desire, performance, and even overall enjoyment of sexual activity [16].

Read More: An Analysis of 28 Scientific Studies on Making Your Penis Bigger

How To Tell A Woman About Your Small Penis

If there's one thing that weighs on guys with a small or micropenis, it's when to bring it up with a new partner. Warn her ahead of time so she can bow out early? Let her find out in the moment? Wait until feelings develop first?

Look at what women themselves say on the subject, and the consensus is clear: the sooner he tells her, the better.

That doesn't mean disclosing smaller-than-average size guarantees a breakup or a sexless relationship.

In fact, some women dealing with vaginismus, a condition that makes penetration uncomfortably tight, may actually welcome it.

It just means she won't be blindsided. That kind of surprise can kill arousal fast, right in the moment.

Yes, some women will consider a small penis a dealbreaker, but plenty won't.

Don't just take our word for it, here's what one female Redditor had to say.

I dated a dude for 2 years that was about 2″. He was incredibly insecure about it at first until I made it clear that he was great at getting me off in other ways. Plus, it made BJ's really easy for me. I think we had actual PIV sex twice in those two years, and I still consider it one of the best relationships I've been in.

Think of women who prefer a larger penis simply as sexually incompatible with you, not wrong or shallow. Sexual incompatibility takes many forms, some people need kinky sex to get off, others want nothing to do with it. Building a happy, healthy sex life means finding someone whose desires align with yours, or who's willing to meet you partway so you're both satisfied.

People often ignore sexual compatibility once they're in love, but it genuinely matters. Better to address it early than waste both your time if it's not going to work. Too many people end up in relationships, even marriages, without real sexual compatibility, and years or decades later find themselves resentful, sometimes walking away and breaking apart a family because they simply can't sustain it any longer.

So if a woman doesn't want to be with you over your penis, or for any reason at all, consider it a bullet dodged.

Now, to the real question: how do you actually say it? Aim to bring it up before sex is on the table. This happens to be one topic where a text or call is genuinely fine. You might try something like:

Babe, I really like you and think there's potential for this to go someplace. Before we go any further, I think you should know that my penis is smaller than normal, and this has been an issue in the past.

Adjust the wording to fit your situation. If you're not romantically involved yet, you might lead with how attracted you are to her while still mentioning your smaller-than-average size. Some guys prefer emphasizing that they're skilled lovers in plenty of other ways, which brings us to the next point.

A Good Lover Doesn't Need A Large Penis

Plenty of guys assume a small dick means they can't satisfy a partner. In reality, most guys are far too fixated on the penis itself during sex. Here's something worth internalizing:

Sex doesn't have to revolve around the size or capability of your penis!

That's actually good news, since it frees you from obsessing over size, erections, and finishing "the right way." Instead, you can genuinely enjoy sex, explore with your partner, and break free of restrictive sexual scripts (the unwritten assumptions about what sex "should" look like).

One study found that 36.6% of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm [17]. Since penetration only stimulates the clitoris when it sits close to the vaginal opening, or when using something like the Coital Alignment Technique (learn more about CAT here), even a large penis might not get her there. Researchers think this is part of why women orgasm less consistently from penetration than men do [18].

Here's what one female Redditor said:

I actually have better orgasms when I'm not having intercourse tbh…and when I do have orgasms during sex it's mostly from clitoral stimulation and has nothing to do with his dick.

Your hands, tongue, and toys can pick up the slack instead. Men who lean into those tools naturally become better, more generous lovers in their partner's eyes. She may have already had one orgasm, or several, before penetration even starts (more about multiple orgasms).

Here's an in-depth post on clitoral stimulation that'll teach you how to have better small penis sex by focusing on her clit.

From there, penetrative sex becomes more of a bonus, the cherry on top. Or you might skip penetration entirely on nights when it's tricky to manage with a smaller penis.

One Reddit user describes it with real enthusiasm:

The key is to own it. If you look insecure, or ask for validation, or draw attention to it, you're dead. If you start off with conversation, then flirting, kissing, a bit of groping, escalate as you get to a bed, feel her all over, and then get going with the fingers and tongue on her breasts and clit to get her fire roaring before you come up and put it in her, not forgetting to continue touching her spots while you're fucking her, she'll be too busy buzzing around in heaven to ever notice, and afterwards, she'll be too damn bonked out of her brain to care.

Of course, some women do need penetration to orgasm, or simply enjoy it regardless of orgasm. Pleasure isn't only measured by climax, after all. In those cases, tools like a penis sleeve or your fingers can fill the gap (see more suggestions below). An insertable vibrator or dildo sized to her preference can help too. When she's satisfied, she'll be that much more eager to satisfy you back.

Keep in mind that even a smaller penis can still reach her G-spot, located just under 2 inches inside the vagina, not deep near the cervix. Research puts it at roughly 4.5cm, or 1.77 inches, inside [19].

Check out this illustrated guide to find the G-spot. Once you feel an area with a rougher texture than the surrounding tissue, that's it.

Once you let go of the idea that sex is entirely about your penis, or even about penetration, you'll find it's much easier to have great sex with a small penis. Honestly, this advice improves sex across the board. A guy with a large penis might assume that's all he needs and skip developing any real skill. Build those skills yourself, and you'll easily outshine him.

There's one catch, though.

A Bad Attitude Can Sink Things Even When Your Penis Doesn't

What do we mean by that? Deep insecurity about penis size can spiral into needing constant reassurance or overcompensating through arrogance or obnoxious behavior. She might be totally fine with your size and have amazing sex with you… but can you get out of your own head enough to let that happen?

Sometimes it's not the size itself but your relationship to it that derails things. To be clear, feeling some insecurity is completely understandable. But if it's consuming your sense of masculinity, talking to a professional could genuinely help you work through it.

By now it should be clear that being a great partner and a genuinely good man has little to do with penis size, though fully internalizing that might take more than just this article. Good luck!

What To Do If Your Partner Has A Small Penis

So your partner's penis is on the smaller side, now what?

Lead With Kindness

Whatever happens, stay kind and compassionate. Size might be a dealbreaker for you, or it might just be an unexpected surprise the first time you sleep together. Sometimes our expressions give away our true reaction even when we're trying to hide it. Remember too that a "grower" might end up noticeably bigger erect than he appears soft.

Some partners genuinely don't know how or when to bring up having a small dick. It takes real courage to say. You might be the first person he's opened up to, or he may have been mocked by past partners.

Women can do genuinely hurtful things, telling friends about an ex's small penis, sharing photos, or throwing it in his face during an argument. Reddit is full of threads where men recall exactly this kind of cruelty. One man wrote about how "finding someone who I love and who loves me back and having to "break the news" is [his] biggest fear." Don't add to that fear even if things ultimately don't work out between you.

End Things Gently And Quickly If Needed

If a small or micropenis is genuinely a dealbreaker for you, let him know as soon as possible rather than dragging things out. Unfortunately, if you come to that realization right after your first time together and pull back shortly after, he'll likely assume it's about his penis, and honestly, there's often no way around that perception. Still, you can deliver that news with real compassion when you know it's simply not the right fit.

There's nothing he can do to permanently change his size, it comes down to genetics entirely outside his control. Making him feel bad about that is simply unkind.

Focus On What's Working

On the flip side, a small penis might not be much of an obstacle at all, especially if you prefer shallower penetration (big penises sex hurts some women), or if he's an attentive lover who uses every tool available. If you have real feelings for him, this is often something worth working around.

Encourage experimenting with sex positions built for a small penis, along with toys, and keep communication open and honest to protect your sexual satisfaction. Bodies and abilities vary widely, and satisfying sex is possible across that whole range.

Related: Use Sexual Communication for Complete Sexual Fulfillment

These conversations aren't always easy. Try to avoid framing it as his fault (it isn't) and instead focus on the fact that certain activities or positions just don't suit your particular bodies as well as others. Have a few alternatives ready to suggest, or simply guide him into a new position mid-sex.

The reality is that size does matter to women in some ways. Misjudging that can derail a relationship before it even starts. But it rarely matters in the way people assume.

Guys with large penises often get used to visible enthusiasm from partners and may never bother building real skill, assuming size alone is enough, which isn't always true! Men with smaller penises, meanwhile, often compensate by paying closer attention to a partner's needs, or by mastering oral technique.

With the right mindset, sex can end up so satisfying that penis size stops mattering at all. A larger penis might look more striking, but once things get going, it often makes far less difference than expected.

Even when his size falls short of ideal, learning how to have sex with a small penis, rather than defaulting to generic advice, can genuinely transform things.

Don't Lie

Keep in mind your guy might want some reassurance. It's not your job to inflate his ego, but you can remind him of what you genuinely love about your sex life and relationship together. That should come naturally if your connection is strong. Avoid claiming his penis is big when you both know that's not true, it's hurtful even if unintentional.

Be Thoughtful With Toys

Finally, sex toys. If he's already brought them up, feel free to pull yours out or suggest shopping together. That said, some men feel intimidated by toys regardless of their size. How you introduce them matters. Try something like:

• "Do you want to see me come?"
• "It would be so hot if you use this one on me."

And remember, toys can feel good for him too.

Sex Positions For A Small Penis

Here are some of the best positions for a small penis, several of which target the G-spot or make his penis feel bigger.

Thigh Tide

Most agree that girl-on-top positions work best for small penis sex, since the woman can sink all the way down onto him. You can adjust it further with a pillow under his hips. Thigh Tide works especially well because while facing away from him, his bent knee gives you something to grind against for clitoral stimulation. Like other woman-on-top positions, it puts you in control of the pace.

Cowgirl

In this classic woman-on-top position, small penis sex gets easier because gravity pulls the surrounding fatty pad downward, revealing more shaft. Either of you can stimulate her clitoris, and there may be room for a vibrator too, depending on your bodies.

Try this trick: he places his hand face-down on his lower abs, fingers spread like a Vulcan salute, with two fingers resting on either side of his penis. She can grind against his knuckles while riding him.

Turtle Position

Get on your hands and knees, raise your butt, keep your back arched, and press your thighs together. Pull your chest down toward your thighs. This Doggy Style variation makes it much easier for him to penetrate deeply. You can also learn 10 other Doggy Style positions here.

Anvil Position

The Anvil position works well because it shortens the vaginal canal, so penetration feels deeper than it is. Pressing your legs together, or even crossing your ankles, also boosts friction and tightness. Just make sure you've got the flexibility and strength for it first. You can learn 24 other sex positions where you are lying on your back here.

Sandwich Position

If you're quite flexible, try the Sandwich position. As shown above, bend your legs and pull them back toward your sides, placing your hands on your knees and pulling them down and back can help.

There are over 110 more sex positions you can try.

What About Anal Sex?

If anal sex is new territory for you, doing it with a guy who has a smaller penis might actually be the ideal starting point. Less intimidating for you, and he'll likely enjoy himself too.

Check out the in-depth Anal Sex Guide for tips on comfortable, pain-free anal sex. And if you want good anal positions to try together, you'll find 19 different positions here.

More Tools For Making Small Penis Sex Work

Using tools during sex is smart no matter your size. Plenty of men feel immense pressure to have a penis that looks a certain way, gets hard instantly, stays hard as long as needed, and ejaculates neither too fast nor too slow.

Reality doesn't always cooperate. Fortunately, there are plenty of tools available. From hands and tongue to sex toys, leaning on these can deliver great sex while taking pressure off your penis entirely!

We already touched on pillows, but they're worth revisiting. Placing one under the bottom partner's hips raises them and closes the distance between you both. If your regular pillows go flat quickly, try memory foam, which holds its shape. Companies like Liberator make pillows specifically designed for sex.

A vacuum pump temporarily increases penis size through suction before sex. Cock rings, worn at the base during sex, then trap blood in the erection, creating the impression of a larger penis. Finally, penis sleeves, made from soft material worn over the penis, can add both length and girth, sometimes with added texture.

Don't overlook fingers either! With a smaller penis, your partner will likely notice if you swap in a finger, which isn't inherently bad, just don't be sneaky about it. You can also insert a finger or two alongside your penis, depending on what feels comfortable for you both.

Eat Pussy Like A God & More

Satisfying a female partner obviously involves more than just picking the right position. Check out our in-depth, illustrated guides for blowing her mind without intercourse at all:

Start with how to eat pussy like a god, then…

Learn how to make your girl squirt as she orgasms, and finally…

Discover the secret to fingering your girl so she has the most powerful orgasms of her life.

Don't Skip Safer Sex

Plenty of people rely on condoms for pregnancy and STI prevention, and condoms only work well when properly fitted. If you have a micropenis or a smaller dick, standard condoms might run too large, increasing the risk of slippage [20].

Fortunately, plenty of brands make condoms sized for smaller penises, so safe sex is still fully within reach. Look for "snug" or "slim" fit labeling.

Also consider the female/internal condom. One end goes inside the vagina near the cervix, with the other end hanging slightly outside. It protects against both pregnancy and STIs, independent of a partner's size.

Sex with a guy who has a small penis can be every bit as good as sex with an average or larger-than-average partner, as long as you both approach it with the right mindset and lean on the techniques and positions covered here, real pleasure is absolutely achievable. As long as your sexual connection feels satisfying overall, size may end up mattering far less than you expected.

Resources

Reddit is genuinely a great resource for men with small penises and their partners alike. There's an entire subreddit for small penis problems. You can also check out these threads:

• Ladies of reddit, how small was the smallest erect penis you have encountered and how did it go?
• New boyfriend has a micropenis, need some advice
• Men with small penises, how is your sex life?
• We surveyed our readers to learn if 6 inches is enough to satisfy a woman.

If you're looking for more ways to satisfy your girl, check out the guide on eating pussy, learn how to make her squirt with your hands, and fingering her.

Frequently Asked Questions

FAQ #1 – Is he avoiding sex because of a small dick?

Some men who worry about their size may delay sex in a new relationship out of fear of how their partner will react. If he's already dropped hints that his penis is on the smaller side, this could explain the delay. He may simply be waiting until you're closer or he feels he can fully trust you. That said, plenty of other reasons could explain a delay too, low libido, performance concerns, or wanting an emotional connection first.

FAQ #2 – Should I tell him his penis is big even though it's really small?

No!

He already knows. Telling him otherwise makes him think you're either lying or pitying him. Trust matters far more in a relationship than empty reassurance.

That said, insecure guys may still ask for encouragement. Focus on what you genuinely enjoy, his skill, his generosity, or other strengths in your relationship. Remind him there's more to him than his penis, and that you chose him specifically over anyone else! Be kind, but stay honest.

FAQ #3 – Will anyone want to have sex with me if I have a small penis? Do I still have a shot at a relationship?

You're far from alone if you're worried a small dick could sink your chances at satisfying sex or a loving relationship. But plenty of men with small penises find fulfilling sexual and romantic partners. Some women won't want to be with you, sure, but that's simply a matter of sexual incompatibility, not a verdict on your worth.

Keep in mind plenty of women also aren't drawn to bald men, short men, very tall men, heavier men, thinner men, older men, or younger men. Everyone has preferences, and that's completely normal.

Either way, research suggests women may care less than you'd expect…

A study on penis size and orgasm found that among women with a history of orgasming during penetrative sex, about 34 percent preferred longer-than-average penises. Notably, 60 percent said size made no difference to their orgasm at all. Even more interesting, 6.3% reported being less likely to orgasm with longer penises [21].

Fear of rejection keeps some men from dating altogether, engaging women, or even noticing when someone's flirting with them. Feeling insecure about penis size is understandable, but a poor mindset usually causes far more damage than the size itself.

FAQ #4 – How do I tell someone I've been seeing about my small penis?

You might be waiting for the "right moment" to bring it up, but there really isn't one. Getting it out in the open sooner rather than later actually helps filter out incompatible partners faster. Browse the internet and you'll find plenty of women saying they'd rather not be surprised by a smaller penis. Knowing ahead of time lets them prepare, or step away early if it's not for them.

FAQ #5 – What can I do to make my small penis bigger?

Countless websites promote stretching techniques like jelqing, claiming they'll increase size. You'll also find supplements online, usually aimed at boosting blood flow to make erections appear larger. Ads push traction devices too, and some doctors may even recommend surgery.

Losing weight if you're overweight can also make your penis appear larger. Beyond that, a few things can help make your penis feel or look bigger during sex:

• Cock rings trap blood in the penis for a firmer erection. Learn more about cock rings.
• Penis sleeves can add both length and girth.

Some men also try penis pumps, which use suction to temporarily increase size. Opinions are mixed, and there's no solid proof these devices produce lasting gains, plus they carry some risk of injury.

October 19, 2020