Sex With A Big Penis: The Good, The Bad & The Painful

A lot of women say they want a partner with a big penis, and plenty of guys tie their whole self-image to how big their tool is. But does a large penis actually live up to the hype? There are several factors people overlook, and not every woman is into sex with a huge shaft anyway.

Plenty of people actually prefer average or smaller sizes, so adjusting to a bigger partner can involve some trial and error.

What's So Good About a Big Penis?

Put simply, a bigger penis is easier to feel than a smaller one. Extra girth can more readily press against your G-spot purely due to its size (though that doesn't mean a smaller penis can't get the job done too!). A longer penis can even reach spots closer to your cervix that are otherwise harder to stimulate.

This can be especially noticeable if you have reduced sensitivity, which sometimes results from certain health conditions or medications. A longer penis makes penetration easier in these cases, particularly when there's a bit of extra cushioning between partners.

There's also a certain satisfaction in being able to take a big penis!

Is There Such a Thing As a Penis That's Too Big?

Realistically, penis size matters, and every woman has her own preference. There's a sweet spot of length and girth that feels best for you personally. Too small, and sensation may be lacking — you might not even reach orgasm. Too big, and your partner could accidentally cause pain, or certain positions might be ruled out entirely.

If it's your first encounter with a more well-endowed partner, it can feel a bit intimidating. That nervousness alone can cause you to tense up, which makes sex less enjoyable than it should be. Luckily, we've got solid advice to make big-penis sex more comfortable if it's currently painful, or even more pleasurable if it's already going well.

• Don't rush into it: Give yourself plenty of time for foreplay before your man actually penetrates you. Oral sex adds wetness, while fingers or toys help prep your body for something larger. Send flirty texts throughout the day. Light candles and put on some sexy music. A sensual massage can be exactly what you need to unwind before sex. Do whatever helps you feel relaxed and aroused, and if you're unsure where to start, check out these tips.
• Take things slow: If your partner is packing 8 inches and you're not accustomed to that size, a single deep thrust isn't the way to start. Whoever controls the pace should ease in gradually. He can pull back slowly until you loosen up and can comfortably accommodate his full length and thickness. Keep to slow, shallow strokes until you build up speed, which also helps him last longer if premature ejaculation is a concern.
• Use plenty of lube: Even if you've never needed it before, even if you assume your natural wetness should be enough (that's a myth anyway) — use lube. Reapply whenever needed. It keeps everything smooth and sexy. Options include all-natural coconut oil, a favorite for some during vaginal or anal play. That said, stick with water- or silicone-based lube if you're using condoms.
• Listen to your body: Pain is your body's signal that something's off, so don't ignore it. Avoid numbing products just to force yourself to accommodate a bigger penis — doing so risks tearing or worse.
• Remember to breathe: Tensing up around a large partner can lead to holding your breath or breathing shallowly. Holding your breath tightens your body, making penetration harder. Breathing too shallow, though, can tip into hyperventilation, which you'll notice through tingling in your hands and feet. It's harmless as long as you catch it and reset your breathing. Tantric practices actually build in breathing exercises that can help here.
• Know your body: Big-penis sex might feel different depending on where you are in your cycle, since your cervix shifts higher and softer at certain points. If sex with a well-endowed partner feels rougher around your period, you might want to skip penetrative sex during that window and stick to oral, fingering, or toys instead. You can always use your mouth to finish him off — tips here.
• You don't need to penetrate fully all the time: People often forget, in the excitement of it all, that full-length penetration the whole time isn't required. The head of the penis is actually the most sensitive part, and the first couple of inches inside you contain the most nerve endings. There's no need for him to go "balls deep" if that's uncomfortable for you.
• You control it: If big-penis sex is tough for you, try switching positions. Positions that put you in charge of pace and depth can ease a lot of that discomfort. Cowgirl and reverse cowgirl both work well, as does anything where you're straddling or on top. Check out this list for more options!

A few thoughts on anal and oral sex: Oral sex tends to be easier with a less well-endowed partner, especially if you have a smaller mouth. Just as you can build up tolerance with toys, practicing solo can make things easier when going down on him. Since the anus is tighter than the vagina and doesn't self-lubricate, taking things extra slow and using generous lube matters even more here. Some experts suggest relaxing your throat, which also helps relax your sphincter.

Also worth noting: a larger penis is somewhat more likely to contribute to infections like bacterial vaginosis and UTIs. Peeing after sex is always a smart habit, but don't panic if sex with a bigger partner seems to trigger these more often. Antibiotics typically clear them up, though it's worth mentioning to your doctor.

If Big Penis Sex Hurts, Speak Up!

Finally, it's crucial for women to voice it when sex isn't feeling good or when something could be adjusted to make it more enjoyable. Women are often conditioned to stay quiet in bed, which tends to lead to lackluster sex where needs go unmet simply because a partner doesn't know. It's unfair to both of you if you keep that information to yourself. If a large penis is making sex uncomfortable, tell him!

It's unfair to both of you if you keep that information to yourself. If a large penis is making sex uncomfortable, tell him! Use the strategies in our guide on how to communicate about sex. The more you talk openly about sex, the more natural it becomes!

Once you figure out what works best for you with a well-endowed partner, pleasure and orgasm become much more attainable — a win for everyone involved!

January 17, 2021