How To Make Him Miss You: 13 Clever Tactics

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder — but only if he's actually thinking about you while you're apart. That's why I've put together these 13 effective (and occasionally sneaky) tactics for making him miss you and keeping your name on his mind even when you're nowhere near him.

Figuring out how to make him miss you isn't some mysterious skill reserved for a select few; it's a practical set of moves (laid out below) that raise the odds he'll be daydreaming about you the moment you walk out the door.

Maybe you're in a long-term relationship you want to reignite, maybe you just went through a breakup and are craving that intense breakup sex, maybe you're navigating long distance, you just had an argument, or you haven't officially landed him yet — either way, making him miss you is the secret ingredient in your love potion. Need a starting point? We're best known for our powerful tips to have incredible sex, but here are several tactics organized by situation so you'll have something to reach for no matter where things stand with your guy.

1. End Things on a Positive Note

Nothing builds a strong, trustworthy, lasting relationship faster than parting ways happily, especially after you've weathered a rough patch together. When you and your man split on a sour or overly heavy note, he's more likely to spend his time apart from you questioning whether the relationship is even right for him.

Don't hand him that chance — instead, make your exit cheerful, full of hugs, kisses, laughter and promises that you'll see each other soon. The same principle applies in the bedroom. If you won't be together for a while, blowing his mind right before you part is a great way to keep him missing you and fantasizing about you while you're gone. These blow job tips and these sex positions (with professional illustrations showing exactly what to do) will leave him craving you and thinking about you nonstop.

2. Talk, Text, Sext & Send Snaps

Thanks to the phone in your pocket, staying connected to your man is effortless — you can call him, text him, video chat him, and send him a few sexy snaps that vanish on their own (thank you, Snapchat). It's a fun, easy way to keep the spark alive, and more importantly, it's a great way to keep him missing you.

Our guide to Skype sex works just as well for FaceTime, Google Hangouts or any other video chat app you prefer. Want to steer the conversation somewhere steamier? Sharpen your dirty talk with the 73 examples in our Dirty Talking Guide here. And if texting and sexting are more your speed, our guide to filthy, sexy text messages here has 43 examples ready to send.

3. Impress Him In Bed

I already touched on this, but it's worth repeating — it's kind of obvious, right? Especially in a long-distance relationship, your man needs something to get him through those lonely nights, so you'll want to be at least as memorable (ideally more so) than anyone else who might catch his eye.

If that sounds intimidating, take a breath: simply knowing what he likes and dislikes already puts you ahead of any imagined competition.

• I've already covered oral sex and experimenting with new sex positions, but there's plenty more territory to explore.
• Step outside your comfort zone with these kinky sex tips.
• Give anal sex a shot. Here are 19 anal sex positions to try, plus a guide on how to have anal sex for the first time if it's new territory for you.
• Not into giving blow jobs? My guide on giving your man a satisfying hand job is the perfect substitute.
• Feeling bold and in charge? Try out a few of these femdom ideas on him.

We've also gathered great advice for blowing his mind in bed. Every time the two of you get together, give him exactly what he craves — do it slowly, lovingly, teasingly, but make sure you're hitting his sweet spots, so that whenever he thinks about passion, he thinks of you and only you.

4. Keep a Little Mystery

When you're trying to win a guy over (whether he realizes it or not), holding a bit of yourself back is one of the best ways to guarantee he's still thinking about you after he leaves. Make him work a little for your smiles and laughs, and steer clear of the classic trap of oversharing.

If he asks about your past, be playful and evasive without being irritating about it. Answer his questions, but don't hand over your whole life story. A touch of ambiguity is exactly what makes him want to spend more time uncovering the rest. In fact, mystery is a major ingredient in building sexual tension with a guy (learn how to build sexual tension here). It's a reliable way to keep him thinking about you and missing you.

Mystery also plays a big role in keeping your sex life exciting after marriage.

5. Show Off the Best Parts of Your Life

This isn't about curating a picture-perfect Instagram feed — that won't make him miss you. Don't waste energy trying to convince the world your life is flawless, because he'll see right through it. Just stay genuinely upbeat.

Tell him about the amazing concert you caught, the new sushi spot you tried, or the great night out with your girlfriends. Sharing fun stories, rather than dwelling on complaints, shows him you're someone worth being around whether he's there or not.

6. Show Interest In Someone Else

Ah, jealousy...

In France, a crime of passion can technically get you off the hook for murder (seriously), but in most places jealousy is simply a powerful tool for getting a guy to think about you. How do you put it to work? It's most effective when you're trying to win back an ex or catch the eye of a guy who hasn't committed to you yet, and it tends to work particularly well if you're dating a younger guy.

Shift your attention away from the guy you actually want and toward someone else. Dress to impress, laugh, flirt, listen closely, use light touches on hands and arms, and make your interest in this other person visible to everyone around.

Just make sure it's someone you can actually tolerate, or the act will fall flat. And who knows — you might discover that getting to know this new person is more fun than chasing the guy you started with.

Fair warning: how to make a guy jealous is a real skill you can learn, but use it carefully. Stirring up jealousy can sometimes backfire in ways you didn't plan for.

7. Give Him a Glimpse of What Life Could Look Like

You won't stick in a guy's mind if he can't picture what a life with you would actually feel like. So paint that picture for him.

If you're early in a relationship, or trying to win over a friend or new acquaintance, give him a reason to miss you. Let him see your playful side, your adventurous streak, your energy.

Share the things you're passionate about, whether that's Pink Floyd or Pinkberry. Invite him along to things like hiking or bowling, and show him that even grabbing coffee with you can be the highlight of his week. Then head home and let him sit with your absence, wondering what could come next.

8. Remind Him What He's Missing

A picture really is worth a thousand words, right? Maybe that's not exactly how the saying goes, but it's still solid strategy for anyone in a long-distance relationship.

Lean on Snapchat, Skype, or your phone's video chat feature to keep that connection alive even when you're miles apart.

And make sure the picture you're painting is a flattering one. Distance already has us questioning things, so don't give him extra reasons to look elsewhere — keep the background of your video calls tidy and inviting, not looking like a den for the Yeti. Put effort into your appearance, too; just because you're not physically together doesn't mean you should skip putting your best face forward when you're "together" on screen.

If you want to put on a real show, check out our Masturbation Guide and this article on using a dildo for maximum pleasure.

9. Take Your Time Responding

Even in a happy, established relationship, you can boost your desirability by keeping a healthy bit of distance. You don't need to jump at every suggestion, respond to every story instantly, laugh at every joke, or fire back the second he texts. Being your own person is part of what he loves about you, and it's part of what makes him miss you when you're apart — so don't give that up in the name of love.

That said, don't swing too far into coldness either. That won't make him miss you; it'll just make things sad. Check out the rest of our advice for dirty text messaging.

10. Give Him the Cold Shoulder

If you've recently split up and are mapping out how to make a guy miss you, don't skip this one. Playing hard to get is generally a bad idea if your guy treats you well and deserves your attention, or if you haven't won him over yet.

But if he's treated you poorly, a taste of his own medicine might be exactly what's called for. When he calls or texts, resist the urge to answer right away. Turn your phone off, watch something, call a friend, grab a drink — do whatever it takes to fight the impulse to respond.

Doing this leaves him wondering where you are, what you're up to, and why you aren't rushing back to him. And while he's stuck wondering? He's missing you.

Perhaps the biggest payoff of pulling back is showing him you have standards — and that if he isn't willing to meet them, you're perfectly willing to walk.

11. Leave Him Wanting More

Whether you just met him or you've been together for years, one of the strongest ways to make a guy miss you is to leave him wanting more — more kisses, more stories, more laughter, more creativity, more of your mom's secret meatball recipe, whatever it is.

Be generous with your time and attention, but not endlessly so. Stay just a little hard to get: available, but not on call whenever he snaps his fingers.

Let him know the good times will continue next time, but that for now, this round is over. It's fine to skip work occasionally or cancel other plans once in a while, but stick to your own schedule and call it a night when your time together is done. He'll respect you more, and think about you more, when you're not always around and when you leave while he's still enjoying himself. Learn more about this approach in my guide on playing hard to get.

12. Play It Cool

If you guessed this tip is aimed at exes, you're right.

When a guy senses you still care, he has little reason to chase contact — why would he, when he assumes you'll eventually reach out first, letting him stay comfortably in control while still getting to see you?

Him: 1; You: 0.

Especially if things ended abruptly and there's unfinished business on his mind, don't make it easy for him to explore it. Stay distant. Leaving him to wonder whether he should reach out, wrestle with his own doubts, weigh the pros and cons, and try (and fail) to get you off his mind is exactly what keeps him thinking about you.

13. Look Your Best

Still wondering how to make him miss you? Here's a simple one: be irresistible. If you and your guy recently split and there's still a chance of reconciliation (or you just want to remind him what he lost), looking amazing is one of the best ways to do it.

Hit the gym, wear clothes that flatter you and show off your sexy assets, and take care of your hair. Enhancing your natural beauty doesn't just make you more attractive — it also gives you a confidence boost that makes you even harder to forget.

14. Own Your Independence

One of the best ways to make him miss you is to stop relying on him for your happiness. This matters especially in long-distance relationships, where you see far less of each other than you'd like — the real key is learning to find peace and fulfillment on your own.

Knowing that you're out there happily pursuing your goals, hobbies, interests and friendships while he's away will keep you in his thoughts more than any single tactic could.

See? Making a guy miss you isn't actually that complicated — it just takes a bit of effort, some foresight and plenty of love.

July 30, 2020