13 Ideas for Wild, Unforgettable Hotel Room Sex

If you're like most people in a long-term relationship, chances are the bulk of your sex happens in your own bedroom. That's not necessarily bad, but it can start to feel predictable and lose that spark (sexual chemistry, anyone?). Living with kids or roommates might mean you're stuck in that same routine whether it's working for you or not. Or are you?

Consider booking a hotel room instead. Hotel sex can feel liberating and might even reignite your sex life! If it's something you've fantasized about, now's your chance. You could also check off some other common fantasies during your stay.

Why Hotel Sex Is Worth Trying

So what's the draw that makes people love hotel sex so much? Here's a rundown of the upsides of a little rendezvous in a rented room:

• You get actual privacy, which can be hard to come by at home. Living with roommates or family can make it tricky to find the right moment or space for sex. Paper-thin walls don't help either, especially if you're trying to maintain an active sex life — even though there's no universal "right amount" of sex you're supposed to be having.
• You get access to a pool or hot tub, or you can splurge on a room that has its own tub, opening the door to sex in the water or just relaxing together.
• If your shower at home is cramped, you might snag a hotel room with a shower roomy enough for shower sex.
• Someone else handles the cleaning and bed-making, so you can just relax.
• For a lot of people, sex somewhere unfamiliar just feels more thrilling, even without a concrete reason why. It's the same logic behind trying sex outside your usual bedroom if you've never done it! You're far from the only one who craves variety — when researcher Justin Lehmiller surveyed over 4,000 Americans about their fantasies, novelty ranked among the seven most common themes [1 p 11], and separate research also backs novelty as a factor in arousal [2] — which means a hotel getaway can genuinely spice up your sex life and help you break out of a slump.
• It gives you a chance to meet a long-distance partner (tips for a long-distance relationship) halfway, reconnecting both emotionally and physically.
• One great hotel sex idea is role play with your partner. Maybe you pretend to bump into a stranger at the hotel bar and share a room with him. It's not subtle, but you could slip into a sexy maid costume, grab a folded towel, and knock on his door hoping he'll invite you in. There are plenty more role playing ideas that translate well to a hotel setting.

Why Not Everyone Books a Hotel for Sex

There are, of course, some downsides to hotel sex.

• Price: Nice hotel rooms cost real money, which limits how often you can indulge. Weigh whether cutting corners is worth it — budget hotels can feel less safe or clean, and skip the extra amenities. An hourly-rate hotel can save cash, but they're not available everywhere.
• Bed Bugs: These pests have become an increasingly real concern, particularly in city hotels. Bring one home in your luggage, and you risk infesting your whole house.
• Sanitation Worries: Some people fret that a hotel room isn't properly cleaned and might harbor other guests' bodily fluids. A UV light might reveal things you'd rather not see, but we'll cover a few precautions you can take below.
• Sneaking Away: You've got the budget, and the hotel has great reviews, but how do you slip away without tipping off family or roommates? Doing something out of the ordinary can raise eyebrows. That said, it's easier to pull off if you're already traveling or on a work trip.

Tips for Great Hotel Sex

Now that you know the downsides, you still want to cross hotel sex off your sexual bucket list? Great! Here are some pointers to help you and your partner enjoy it, especially if you're hoping to make hotel sex a regular thing.

1. Be A Considerate Guest

While most of this post covers how to have amazing hotel sex, it'd be irresponsible not to touch on how to be a decent guest alongside the tips below. You can enjoy plenty of pleasure without being inconsiderate or leaving a bigger mess for someone else to deal with.

First, keep some cash on hand to tip housekeeping — typically $2 to $5 per night depending on the hotel's quality. You might also want cash for a shuttle driver or bellhop. Not only does this earn you goodwill with staff, it helps you avoid losing your deposit or getting banned outright.

Second, avoid trashing the room or its fixtures. Wipe up any lube spills, and toss condoms in the trash — never the toilet. Keep condoms out of shower and pool drains. Don't rely on shower fixtures to hold your weight during hotel sex positions — they're not built for that and can snap, leaving you hurt and stuck with a repair bill. If you want shower action, suction-cup handles and footrests are available for purchase instead.

On that note, clean up anything touched by bodily fluids so staff don't have to handle it themselves. Wrap used condoms or dental dams in tissue before binning them so they don't get stuck to anything, or use a small plastic bag. If you're leaving toys behind, rinse them off and toss them, ideally wrapped.

Also, hang that Do Not Disturb sign so no one barges in mid-act!

Lastly, an easy courtesy move is gathering towels and linens in one spot, like the tub, and consolidating trash into a single can.

2. Remember You're Not the Only Guest

...and plenty of others might have family with them. So keep the noise down where you can. A ball gag could be a fun option if you're into bondage. Or turn it into a challenge — see if he can stay quiet no matter how much pleasure (or torment) you put him through.

When booking, steer clear of dates with conventions or events that pack a hotel with guests, sometimes thousands of them, since that can wreck the mood. Request a secluded room for extra privacy if it's available. Once you check in, notice the patterns of when guests come and go — many people leave in the morning and only return at night to sleep, meaning daytime hours might actually offer more privacy.

3. Pack Smart

Since you're away from home, you'll need to bring everything yourself. What should be on your list?

• Condoms
• Lube
• Sex toys
• Lingerie – Check out tips for choosing your perfect outfit

You may not need every item here for a hotel sex trip, but double-check you haven't forgotten anything essential! Few things kill the mood faster than being ready to go and realizing you left condoms behind, with only an unreliable gas-station brand available nearby. That's not a gamble worth taking. If your hotel stay is part of a larger vacation, pack these essentials the same way you'd pack an extra pair of socks.

Just be sure to gather everything again before checkout. You don't want a housekeeper stumbling on your dildo, or getting a call from the front desk about a forgotten vibrator. So maybe leave the heavy-duty bondage gear at home and bring just a few restraints for trying out hotel sex positions.

4. Double-Check Cleanliness

Reading guest reviews is a solid way to gauge how clean a hotel really is, or to spot recurring complaints about pests like bed bugs.

Here's a hotel sex tip: if cleanliness is a worry, pull back the bedspread to check for signs of bugs or neglect. Even better, remove the bedspread entirely and request a spare blanket, which tends to get laundered far more often than the spread itself.

Use a hard-shell suitcase to keep pests out, and keep it elevated on a luggage rack rather than the floor. Store everything in sealed plastic bags.

If you bring your own pillow, slip it into a plastic pillow protector.

5. Book By the Hour

Look into hotels that offer hourly rates, especially if an overnight stay isn't the plan anyway. Some people enjoy lounging by the pool or grabbing the free breakfast, but if sex is the entire point of your visit, there's no need to spend extra time or money. This isn't the move for a full vacation, obviously, but for a quick escape with your partner, it can save you some cash.

6. Show Up Separately

This hotel sex idea makes the night — or weekend — genuinely memorable. Instead of riding together, arrive separately. It adds an extra layer of excitement! Maybe you'll already be waiting in your best lingerie when he walks in, or he'll have something romantic planned. There's something inherently exciting about not returning to your usual bed in your usual room. And that's not the only reason to take separate cars.

We already touched on meeting your man at the hotel bar and playing strangers. Dress to impress (sexy dressing tips here) and remind him how fortunate he is to have you. It gives you room to flirt (brush up with flirting techniques) as if you're not actually together, which can send a genuine thrill through you. Eventually, one of you invites the other up, or you can "spontaneously" decide to grab a room together and go at it.

7. Book a Couples' Package

If you're staying somewhere nicer, ask about couples' packages for your room. These usually come with champagne and perks like a couples massage. They're common around Valentine's Day, but you can often request one for an anniversary or just for the fun of it.

8. Line Up a Sitter

It's hard to relax and enjoy yourself while worrying about the kids, so arrange ahead of time for a trustworthy sitter or family member to watch them.

9. Splurge on a Room Upgrade

Just staying somewhere clean and quiet can already feel like a nice break. But upgrading to a room with a hot tub, or bumping up to a suite, can make the whole experience feel luxurious. Those upgrades often come with extra perks too.

It might not be something you can do every time, but this hotel sex tip is worth considering when you really want to break out of the usual routine.

10. Lean Into Your Exhibitionist Streak

This hotel sex idea won't suit every room, but consider positioning yourselves near open or sheer curtains — ideal for feeding an exhibitionist fetish. Just make sure your room isn't on a low floor or facing somewhere public, like a parking lot or courtyard.

11. Stay Present

Ideally, everyone booking a hotel room for sex is fully focused on their partner, but between smartphones, WiFi, and TV, that's not always guaranteed. Silence your phone or set it aside when you should be talking or being intimate with your partner. There might be moments — like while he's showering — when it's fine to check email, or you might agree to a quick five-minute phone break together, but nothing kills a moment faster than talking to someone glued to a screen.

If staying present is a struggle, mindfulness might help. It's linked to improved lubrication [3 p 111], stronger sexual desire [4], improved sexual function [5, 6], and greater satisfaction [7, 8, 9]. Check out our podcast episode with Lori Brotto, where she dives into how mindfulness can improve your sex life.

12. Never Even Leave the Room

There's something to be said for staying put and ordering room service or delivery. Wrap up in hotel robes, or bring your own. Curl up in bed with your partner before winding down with a long, hot shower together.

Of course, you could also show up after a nice dinner or a show elsewhere. Make hotel sex part of a full date night.

13. Venture Out of the Room

While booking a hotel and never leaving the room — or renting one for just an hour — can be great, bringing an outfit for a night out might make the trip feel more like a real getaway. Reconnecting outside the room can make you even more eager to head back and get intimate. Plus, hotel shuttles or on-site bars and restaurants mean nobody has to stay sober for a drive home.

Alternatives to Hotel Sex

Hotel sex is great, but it's not always practical financially or otherwise. Here are some other options.

• If privacy is what you're after, a quickie in the car might do the trick. Read more about car sex.
• Grab your sleeping bags and tent and head into the wilderness. Camping sex offers novelty and a bit of seclusion (assuming you pick a good spot) plus some outdoor adventure. Even pitching a tent in your own backyard can feel like a fresh change of pace.
• Book an Airbnb. It can be more affordable than a hotel and opens up more unusual options — cabins, yurts, even tiny houses.
• Try a classic bed and breakfast for something a little cozier.

And if you're chasing novelty but a hotel isn't in the cards, even just experimenting with new sex positions can deliver that same fresh feeling [10].

Even if hotel sex only happens once or twice a year for you, it can still create memories that last a lifetime.

FAQ#1 – What if my partner or I just aren't into hotel sex?

Even though hotel sex appeals to a lot of people, it's totally fine if it's not your thing. There are several understandable reasons for that, including worry about un-laundered linens or unclean rooms carrying other people's bodily fluids, and concern about being overheard. Feeling anxious or on edge instead of relaxed can make orgasm harder to reach [11], and anxiety in general is linked to sexual dysfunction [12].

That said, you can put your own mind at ease with a few quick checks. If the bed is pushed against a wall, peek into that gap. A staff that bothers to clean hard-to-reach spots is likely thorough everywhere else, too. Similarly, spotless switches, outlets, and door handles are a good sign.

Bringing your own pillows can also help ensure comfort for both sleeping and sex — physical discomfort can definitely get in the way [13 p 40].

Finally, rest easy knowing that nearly everyone who's worked at or stayed in a hotel has overheard sex happening, and hotel staff rarely field complaints about the noise. If it helps, requesting a secluded room is worth a shot, though it's not always guaranteed.

If you do decide to try hotel sex despite some nerves, these tips to get yourself in the mood might help.

But if home is simply more your speed, you can still avoid falling into a rut there too. Send the kids to a sitter, throw on fresh sheets, light a candle, run a bubble bath, and let the evening unfold.

Related: 29 Incredible New Things to Try in Bed and Break Out of Your Routine

FAQ#2 – Should I worry if my partner only wants hotel sex?

There might be reason for concern if you share a home together and your partner consistently avoids having sex there. It's possible he's simply chasing novelty, so it's worth having an honest conversation about it.

If you're dating someone who insists on meeting only at hotels for sex, he could be hiding the relationship altogether, and you have every right to bring that up if it bothers you.

FAQ#3 – How do I convince my partner to book a nicer hotel room?

You might have a specific picture in mind of what hotel sex should feel like — maybe a hot tub, champagne, or just a spotless, relaxing space. If your partner keeps booking a bare-bones room or a run-down motel, it can be a jarring letdown. There's a real difference between hotel sex and motel sex.

Have an honest conversation with him about it. Explain that the current setup isn't matching your fantasy and that it leaves you disappointed. Research hotels nearby that catch your eye, or send him photos of the kind of experience you're picturing so he can find something closer to it. If budget allows, he may be happy to spring for a suite.

Alternatively, you could compromise by having hotel sex less often but at a nicer property. Offering to help cover the cost is another option if that works for you.

Resources

This post from the Anatomy of Love explores how novelty rekindles love.

Michael Castleman, M.A., wrote a related piece on novelty and its impact on sex for Psychology Today.

A former hotel employee answers a Quora question about having sex in hotels. Bottom line: most guests genuinely don't mind loud sex nearby.

This article digs into why hotel sex feels so much better.

October 24, 2020