Sex In Water: How To Make It Pleasurable, Not Painful

Porn is packed with shower sex scenes, and who could forget that unforgettable Showgirls moment where the lead has wild sex with her partner in an upscale pool? Everywhere we look, there's a suggestion that having sex in water is somehow essential, as if our lives aren't complete without it.

There's undeniable appeal to sex in water, whether it's your own tub, a pool, or a hot tub — but there's also a fair amount of reality that makes it less than comfortable. We rarely notice these downsides while watching a steamy scene in a favorite movie, and that's exactly the point. Dramatic lighting, careful staging, quick cuts, and skilled direction all conspire to make water sex look like the hottest thing you could possibly try with your partner.

That's exactly why we put this guide together — to help you decide whether pool or water sex is worth attempting, and to steer you in the right direction if you go for it!

Is Sex In Water Actually Worth It?

The concept of water sex sounds enticing, but in practice it's often less practical and less enjoyable than expected. Here's why:

• Water strips away lubrication: This is why we suggest silicone-based lube for you, your partner, or your toys in the shower. It's a bigger challenge when you're fully submerged in a tub or pool. On top of that, pool chemicals can leave things feeling dry and uncomfortable, which isn't fun for anyone.
• Water carries chemicals and bacteria that can throw off your vagina: The motion of sex can push water into your vaginal canal, and even seemingly clear water in a public pool or hot tub is teeming with germs. That can lead to painful yeast or bacterial infections. Check out our guide to yeast infections and our guide to bacterial vaginosis for more. Even without an infection, having water inside your vagina can just feel unpleasant.
• Water makes finding a stable position tough: Without secure steps or built-in ledges, water creates a slippery mess that's hard to grip. In search of a workable position for shower or pool sex, people often end up relying on ladders, soap dishes, or other fixtures never designed to bear weight for that long. The internet is full of stories about shower walls giving way or people slipping off pool ladders — best case, you're footing a repair bill; worst case, you're dealing with a real injury! Watch your step around any wet pool or hot tub deck, too.
• Getting caught is a real risk: There's something exciting about the possibility of being caught (which is part of why outdoor sex appeals to so many people), but actually getting caught having sex in water is a different story entirely. That's why public pools, hot tubs, or ponds are risky territory — consequences range from sheer embarrassment to a facility ban to public indecency charges.
• Condoms and water are a bad match: Pool chlorine can compromise condom effectiveness and make them more likely to slip. If condoms are part of your protection plan, consider doubling up on birth control methods.
• Someone's bound to get cold: Shower sex sounds appealing in theory, but rarely delivers in practice. Unless you've got dual shower heads hitting you both simultaneously, one of you will end up catching the chilly runoff. Staying in the mood gets tough once you're freezing! And stepping out of the water afterward can feel like an instant deep freeze unless the surrounding air is nice and warm.

Still Determined to Try Water Sex?

There's plenty that can go wrong with water sex, but that shouldn't necessarily stop you from giving it a shot at least once. Just take a few precautions to set yourself up for success — and we've got you covered there!

First, figure out your setting. Public spots are generally a bad call, but a backyard pool in complete privacy is fair game. Stick to the shallow end. A private hot tub works well too, or you and your partner could book a hotel suite with a whirlpool tub and skip clothes entirely. These settings tend to work better because they usually have built-in steps, solving both positioning and safety concerns at once.

There are several solid ways to make sex work in your own bathtub. Read more here.

Make sure you've got privacy locked down. Lock the door if possible — you might not notice an interruption once things get going.

Bring lube along. No matter how turned on you are, water will dry things out down there, so a good silicone-based lube makes everything easier. Apply it before getting into the water, though. Check out this guide to using lube.

Communicate clearly with your partner. Taking things slow tends to work best — it limits how much water enters your vagina, reduces splashing, and helps you both stay steady and balanced.

One option worth considering: fool around in the water — kissing, groping, grinding — but move to dry land for the main event. That way, lube is actually usable. Sneaking off to your hotel room or a private cabana works nicely for this.

If water sex is something you're determined to check off your list, you can absolutely make it happen. Start small with shower sex to test the waters (pun intended). Move on to a pool or hot tub if that appeals to you. Just approach it thoughtfully and safely so you and your partner can keep enjoying an active sex life going forward! And if you try it and decide it's not for you, cross it off your sexy bucket list and move on to the next adventure!

February 9, 2021