9 Comfortable Sex Positions For Seniors Plus 8 Helpful Techniques

In this guide to sex for older couples, you'll discover the 9 best senior sex positions for comfortable, enjoyable sex (Click here to skip straight to the 9 senior sex positions). You'll also learn 9 techniques seniors should start using tonight to have the most satisfying sex possible (Click here to skip straight to the 9 senior sex techniques). Or keep reading to understand the 7 reasons sex can feel different once you're a senior.

Senior Sex and Your Changing Body

While we each only get one body, the one we inhabit as seniors can look, feel, and behave quite differently than it did when we were younger. These changes might have crept up gradually, or hit all at once. Maybe it's been a while since you've had sex, and you're curious what's new in the sex world (the Love Curi is the place to find out!), but you haven't thought much about what's changed with your own body.

Here's how your body may shift over time.

1. Hormones Are Low

"Both estradiol and testosterone have been implicated as the steroid critical for modulating women's sexual desire" [1]. These hormones drop after menopause, so you might notice wanting sex less often than before.

Estrogen also depletes after menopause, and after procedures like hysterectomies. Low estrogen can make it harder to get wet even when you're aroused.

2. You Feel More Pain

Maybe arthritis or another condition common to older bodies has crept in. Simply getting out of bed or walking hurts, and sex introduces a new potential source of discomfort. But sex is meant to feel good, not painful (unless pain is your thing, of course). Fortunately, there are ways to manage pain during sex, which we'll cover shortly.

3. You're Less Flexible

Sure, you might not manage every position from the Kama Sutra anymore, but that doesn't mean your sex life has to suffer. You don't need to be an acrobat to enjoy sex!

We cover over 100 positions in our guide, plus some specifically for seniors below. Find one that appeals to you and works for your body, then give it a try.

4. You Heal More Slowly

If you happen to injure yourself, whether through sex or something else, your body simply needs more time to recover [2]. That's exactly why we recommend not pushing yourself too hard. You've got nothing to prove to anyone. Senior sex can still be great, even if it isn't the wildest sex of your life.

5. Orgasms Are Less Intense

Toe-curling, earth-shaking orgasms — that's the expectation, right? Maybe not once you're older. Your orgasms might grow shorter and less intense, which could be a source of worry. But keep in mind that Western culture is full of misinformation about sexual pleasure, much of it shaped by porn that depicts mind-blowing orgasms as the norm. Orgasm isn't actually a requirement for amazing sex. Plenty of people say their best sexual experiences didn't even include one.

There's good news, though. This could be the perfect moment to master multiple orgasms.

Read: How to Experience the Joy of Multiple Orgasms

6. Your Mental Health Changes

Your mental health shifts right alongside your physical health, and that's a genuine concern for a lot of people. Conditions like dementia or Alzheimer's affect cognitive function and complicate navigating consent.

Dementia, for instance, can lead to:

• Loss of interest in sex
• Increased sexual interest
• Lowered inhibitions
• Detachment

Someone dealing with a mental health condition can become vulnerable to people looking to take advantage. And a caretaker managing these challenges might feel too exhausted for sex, or feel put off by other caregiving duties (bathing, bathroom assistance, and so on).

Inappropriate sexual behavior can also surface alongside dementia and Alzheimer's [3] [4] [5], and it isn't unusual with other mental health conditions either. This can look like stripping or masturbating in public, or aggressive sexual conduct.

Still, plenty of people maintain reasonable sex lives despite these challenges [6]. Talk through your options with both your partner and your doctor.

7. Your Partner Has Erection Difficulties

Even though this isn't your own body, it's still a major factor shaping senior sex. Older men commonly struggle more to get and maintain an erection [7] [8], and their erections may not be as firm as before. Erectile dysfunction can bring shame and embarrassment, so understanding matters here.

Keep in mind you might not experience all these changes, and how your own mind and body respond to aging may look nothing like the next person's.

Senior Sex Positions

While seniors absolutely still enjoy plenty of sex, body shape and flexibility can introduce some limitations. Old injuries and conditions like arthritis can also flare up during sex. Beyond sticking to your most comfortable positions, you may need to balance switching things up enough to stay comfortable without irritating your joints.

Of course, every body ages differently, so you may not need to adjust much at all. Or your partner might stay active and athletic while you manage limitations, like one-sided weakness from a stroke. Sex is fundamentally about teamwork, though, so making it work is always possible. Start with the positions for older couples below.

1. Missionary

This timeless position works just as well for older couples as younger ones. The bottom partner rests fully supported on the bed, while the top partner distributes weight across arms, legs, and core as comfort allows.

Missionary position adapts easily with a pillow placed under the receiving partner's hips. The giving partner can vary depth and pace freely. Need a break? Simply rest against your partner's body before resuming thrusting.

2. Spooning

Spooning might be the perfect senior sex position. Both partners lie on their sides facing the same direction, with the giving partner penetrating from behind. Spooning offers a wonderfully gentle experience, and partners can hold each other close or hold hands throughout.

Related: How to Make Love to Your Man Intensely for A Deeper Connection

It's also great for manual clitoral stimulation.

3. Doggy

Doggy Style isn't just useful for hitting your G spot — it also works well for seniors, since all limbs stay firmly planted. That said, Doggy style can feel a bit strenuous, so try having the bottom partner rest on pillows, use a position strap, or thrust more gently for added comfort.

Doggy Style also works wonderfully for heavier couples.

4. Sofa Spooning

Who says Netflix and chill belongs only to the young? If you're young at heart, check out Sofa Spooning. The giving partner lies on his side against the back of the couch while the receiver lies in front. You can transition easily from cuddling to sex while enjoying your favorite show, or even watching porn together.

5. Cowgirl

If straddling your partner comfortably is manageable, Cowgirl can work well for sex after 60. Plenty of older women favor this position since it lets them control depth, speed, and rhythm, and it accommodates physical limitations more easily than many other options.

6. Coital Alignment Technique

The Coital Alignment Technique was originally designed to deliver more clitoral stimulation than Missionary. The man positions himself so his hips sit higher and his pubic mound presses against his partner's clitoris. Since CAT leans on grinding more than deep thrusting, it can work especially well as a senior sex position.

7. Thigh Pillow

Struggling to find a comfortable position for giving a blow job or receiving oral sex? This side-lying take on 69 might be exactly what you need. Line up head-to-toe with your partner so you can orally stimulate each other's genitals. Since you're both lying on your sides, your bodies stay supported, and your top arm stays free in Thigh Pillow for extra manual stimulation!

8. Leg Over Leg

Among all the positions here, this one might be the simplest. Both partners lie on their backs. The receiver drapes the leg closest to their partner over the partner's leg and rests part of her hip on his. This aligns your genitals and allows for penetration.

Bonus: this position leaves the clitoris exposed for manual stimulation or a vibrator.

Related: How To Use A Vibrator For Intense Orgasms

9. Back Seat Driver

Finally, there's Back Seat Driver, where your partner sits down and you settle onto his lap, swirling your hips. It's low-impact, and your partner can help steady you while seated securely on a chair or sofa. If needed, lean forward against a table, or place a tall pillow in your lap for added support.

Let us know in the comments if you've discovered other senior sex positions worth trying!

How to Have the Best Senior Sex – 9 Techniques

We've covered the challenges of sex later in life — now let's talk about making it great anyway! Here's what you need for the most satisfying senior sex possible.

1. Communication

Talking about sex is a vital skill for any great sex life, at any age, but it may matter even more once you're older. Communicating about sex is never simple, which is why we wrote an entire guide on the subject.

2. Lube

If you've never needed lube before, you might wonder if that says something negative about you as a woman. It absolutely doesn't!

We recommend using lube to every reader of the Love Curi. It makes sex smoother and slicker, lets you go longer without discomfort, and works perfectly for quickies when there's less time to warm up.

3. Foreplay and Slow Sex

Foreplay deserves to be considered essential, not optional, at every stage of life. It gets you in the mood and physically ready, and it makes penetration feel far better. Foreplay can include making out, manual stimulation, sensual massage, or even sexting throughout the day. Discover 22 foreplay techniques you'll both love.

Foreplay is also a core part of slow sex, which might become your preferred style as a senior. Slow sex gives you plenty of time to savor every sensation, talk with your partner, and try anything you've ever wanted to attempt in the bedroom!

It's worth remembering that as our bodies change, what once felt good may not feel the same anymore. Sex can look and feel very different over time, and it's certainly not limited to penetration.

You might realize there's no need to rush and finally give yourself permission to fully enjoy it.

Want to try slow sex?

4. Hormone Replacement Therapy

One option for addressing low hormone levels and related symptoms, like vaginal dryness, is hormone replacement therapy [9]. Topical treatments (patches, gels, or creams) or pills can restore much-needed estrogen [10]. Many women take estrogen supplements post-menopause, though increasing testosterone might work better if boosting your sex drive is the goal [11].

Talk with your doctor about whether hormone replacement therapy could be right for you.

5. Position Aids

You've probably used a pillow to lift your hips for better G-spot stimulation before. For senior sex, pillows help relieve pressure on joints and pressure points. Your regular pillow works fine, though memory foam options may offer more support, helping you get into and stay in positions like doggie style longer and more comfortably.

6. Medication

Medication can address a range of issues that might crop up in a healthy senior sex life. The "little blue pill" can help your partner maintain an erection.

7. Sex Toys

A range of sex toys can improve senior sex (though, honestly, they're great at any age!).

• Cock rings keep blood from leaving the penis shaft, an obvious benefit for senior sex. They come in various stretchy materials as well as harder options like wood, glass, or metal. A penis ring with a vibrating attachment adds even more benefit.
• Penis sleeves add girth and length, helping you feel fully filled even if your partner's erection has softened over time.
• Vibrators deliver more intense stimulation, leading to stronger orgasms with less physical effort, and giving your hands a rest.
• Dildos in the right size and shape can bring your G-spot to life, and they're great whether used solo or with a partner.
• Kegel toys let you exercise your PC muscles, which can boost sensitivity and orgasm intensity, and your partner will likely appreciate feeling you clench around him!
• Penis pumps use suction to draw blood into the penis, supporting erections and potentially adding size.

8. Sexual Alternatives

When penetration isn't possible, or simply isn't what you want, other options exist. Everything from sensual massage to mutual masturbation to outercourse offers a route to sexual intimacy. Don't give up on your sex life just because penetration isn't in the picture!

9. A New Attitude About Sex

The single most valuable tool in your senior sex toolkit might just be your mindset around sex. Adjust your expectations of what sex is and should be, and you may find yourself far more satisfied. Without that shift, disappointment or resentment can creep in if your body or your partner's can't deliver the sex you're used to.

You may need to accept that sex now looks less rough, less spontaneous, shorter, or requiring more prep than it once did. But embracing that reality can go a long way toward a genuinely satisfying sex life, even in your senior years.

Side note: Dating a younger guy can add a whole new dimension to senior sex.

The Good Things About Senior Sex

Sex later in life might look different from sex when you were young, but it's not all challenge and risk. For starters, pregnancy likely isn't a worry anymore, meaning birth control isn't necessary, though STI protection is still worth considering.

Second, you've built up plenty of experience, so you know exactly what you want, and you're far more likely to ask for it rather than focusing solely on pleasing your partner like you might have when younger. Senior sex can be wonderfully selfish sex!

You can also use this time to lean into romance, something that may have taken a back seat when hormones ran the show. Remember that sex is a way to show your partner how much you love and care about him, to feel safe together, and to deepen your bond.

Related: How to Make Love for a Deeper Connection

Peggy Kleinplatz found that sex actually improves with age, since people stop fixating on self-consciousness and instead focus on connection and vulnerability. She also found that orgasm wasn't essential to having genuinely great sex.

June 18, 2021