27 Wonderfully Ridiculous Sex Toy Life Hacks

Ever wondered what you'd get by mashing together sex toys, life hacking, and a dash of Martha Stewart energy? Take a look…

#1 Vibrating Toothbrush

Tired of watching wealthy show-offs flaunt their fancy "electric" toothbrushes? Build your own! All it takes is a regular toothbrush, a vibrator, and a strip of scotch tape! Related: How to use a vibrator for powerful orgasms

#2 Double Ended Dildo Shoe Stretcher

Genuinely brilliant if keeping your shoes in shape matters to you. Plus, a double-ended dildo runs cheaper than an actual shoe stretcher! More: 31 things you can use as a dildo

#3 Fluffy Tail Butt Plug Duster

Dusting is such a tedious task. Liven it up with this playful, friendly fluffy-tailed butt plug — genuinely great for those hard-to-reach corners. Discover: What is a butt plug and how to use it

#4 Suction Dildo Spice Rack

Ever felt a flash of envy walking into a friend's kitchen and spotting their gorgeous, distinctive spice rack? Time to inspire that same envy in others with this cute, playful, endlessly customizable rack. Learn: How to use a dildo for maximum pleasure

#5 Dildo Hair Curlers

Few things sting worse than gearing up for an important event only to discover a friend borrowed your hair curlers. Luckily, a tasteful backup sits tucked away in your sock drawer.

#6 Fake Vagina iPhone Charging Dock

Feel like your desk needs a little "personality"? Now it's practical AND easy to pull off! Next time your iPhone needs charging, slide it into this vagina-shaped dock and watch coworkers stroll by, admiring your creativity. Related: How to make your vagina smell and taste great

#7 Anal Bead Reusable Ice Cubes

Skip buying or making fresh ice — a cheaper way to keep drinks chilled is repurposing old steel anal beads straight from the freezer. Before long, you'll be channeling your inner Martha Stewart! More: How to use anal beads during sex and masturbation

#8 Suction Dildo Throwing Knives

Let's be honest, throwing knives are genuinely dangerous — sharp, and one slip could land a blade in someone's face. A far safer, more flexible alternative: suction-cup dildos.

#9 Speculum Transplanter For Plants

Serious gardener but can't justify an expensive, quality transplanter? Consider borrowing your gynecologist's favorite tool instead — the speculum. Here's how:

#10 Penis Extender Anti-Theft Device

Bike locks can cost a fortune. But with a bit of creative life hacking, keeping your bike theft-proof takes just 3 simple steps… Learn: How to stay harder for longer

#11 Rubber Hand Arm Extender

Balancing on a wobbly chair to swap out a lightbulb is genuinely risky. A smarter move: stay firmly planted on the floor and use a rubber hand to reach the fixture instead. Side note: a rubber hand also works great for fisting yourself.

#12 Anal Beads & Suction Cup Dildo Wind Chime

Always wanted a beautiful, understated wind chime without dropping serious cash on one? Simple fix — grab a suction dildo and 3 sets of anal beads.

#13 Giant Dildo Plant Stake (With Restraints As Ties)

Successfully repotting a plant, with roots settling firmly, really comes down to two things: 1) a rigid, upright stake, and 2) a sturdy, unbreakable tie. That's exactly why a giant dildo paired with wrist restraints makes for surprisingly effective plant support.

#14 Giant Dildo Cable Storage

Phone chargers, headphone cords, power cables, VGA leads — desk clutter multiplies fast when they're left tangled together. Skip the mess entirely with an elegant, unobtrusive cable organizer: a giant dildo.

#15 Lube Launcher Hair Dye Applicator

At-home hair dyeing gets frustrating fast, especially when roots don't get proper coverage. A quality applicator, like a lube launcher, helps you reach deep to the base of each root. Learn: What exactly is lube used for and lube alternatives you can use.

#16 Dildo Stress Reliever

Ever sat at your desk, buried under life's stress? Sure, punching the nearest coworker is one option…but a better bet is reaching into your drawer for a dedicated dildo stress reliever. Stroke it, squeeze it, work every last ounce of tension out.

#17 Masturbation Sleeve Candlestick Holder

Ever planned a romantic candlelit dinner only to realize you're fresh out of candlesticks? Happens to the best of us! Luckily, something in your drawer naturally grips a candle perfectly.

Learn: How to masturbate for women. Also, try these 14 satisfying masturbation techniques.

#18 Remote Controlled Vibrator Protein Powder Mixer

Sick of hand-shaking your protein powder every morning? A remote-controlled vibrator makes for a genuinely fun substitute — just give it a proper wash first.

#19 Homemade Dildo Triceratops Mask

Given the economy, fresh Halloween costumes for the kids can get pricey fast. Improvise instead with a homemade triceratops mask — especially fitting if your little ones are dinosaur fans. and here it is in action!

Read: 8 homemade sex toys

#20 Rubber Fist Oven Mitt Replacement

Misplaced your oven mitts? No worries — just grab the rubber fist from under your bed for a brand-new way to protect your hands pulling hot dishes from the oven.

#21 Double Ended Dildo Back Massager

After a brutal day at work, nothing beats coming home and working out all that built-up tension. No new purchase needed either — just grab your trusty double-ended dildo with both hands and gently knead out those neck knots.

Learn: How to give a sensual massage

#22 Rubber Vagina Table Tennis Ball Launcher

Sharpening your table tennis stroke takes real time and dedicated practice. Fortunately, the right drills speed things up considerably — this rubber vagina ball launcher fires balls in random directions, perfect for building reflexes.

#23 Rubber Fist Back Scratcher

Got an itch just out of reach? Simple fix — grab a rubber fist!

#24 A Crappy Anal Bead Abacus

Honestly unclear why this one made the list, but with enough anal beads on hand, you can cobble together a genuinely mediocre abacus.

#25 Wrist Restraint Luggage Identifier

Traveling with a generic bag makes airport baggage claim genuinely confusing. An easy fix: tie something distinctive to a handle — a pink ribbon, or a red wrist restraint, works great. Discover: These 13 bondage positions will turn up the heat. And if you don't already know about how to safely restrain your partner, you can learn more in our bondage guide.

#26 Lube Launcher Stain Remover Applicator

Cleaning up the aftermath of a wild night just got considerably simpler. A lube launcher lets you apply stain remover with real precision, right where it's needed.

#27 Rubber Hand Roach Clip

Stoner alert: sick of burning your fingers on spliff remnants but not keen on a hair clip as a substitute roach clip? A simple sex-toy alternative exists — the rubber fist.

#28 Sex Doll Scarecrow

Sex dolls are genuinely unsettling, yet remarkably versatile — which is exactly why they double as effective scarecrow replacements, keeping pesky birds off your crops. If these 27 hacks left you wanting more, good news: there are 29 more life hacks using sex toys here:

February 17, 2022