11 Key Signs Of Sexual Attraction To Watch For

Important Note: After talking with students of the Love Curi, I learned that most people wanted to know the earliest signs of sexual attraction worth watching for. The later-stage signals when a guy is clearly attracted are pretty obvious, kissing you, holding you close, getting an erection, or literally telling you he wants you, so there's no need to spell those out (and we already have a great article covering 20 signs that he wants you!). Instead, this article covers the subtler, earlier signs of sexual attraction, which matter far more in those make-or-break, does-he-or-doesn't-he moments.

One of life's most delicious kinds of torture is that feeling when you're talking to someone you find incredibly attractive and start noticing signs of sexual attraction that suggest the feeling might be mutual.

That said…

The tricky part is figuring out whether he genuinely feels the same way. That's exactly why I put together this article on the various signs men give off when they're sexually attracted.

What The Science Says About Attraction

Fortunately, alongside curing diseases and pushing technology forward, science has also poured serious money into researching the signs of sexual attraction men display.

While the headlines usually cover the love lives of finches and other odd creatures, there's a genuinely serious field studying attraction and fulfillment between men and women. Sexual attraction isn't measured by pheromones alone, researchers have also examined heart rate, arousal, body language, and behavior to pin down the real markers of sexual interest.

What science has found is that certain indicators of sexual attraction are hard to explain away as wishful thinking or fantasy. Your best move is to keep the list below in mind, and if you notice two or three showing up regularly, you're likely on the verge of leaving the friend zone.

So…here are the 12 essential signs of sexual attraction to look out for:

Read: Our guide to body language if you want insight into what he's thinking in the moment.

1. His Gaze Lingers On Certain Spots

Body language research tells us that eye contact signals interest and engagement. But research also shows that where someone's eyes wander says a lot about sexual attraction specifically.

If his gaze keeps drifting to your mouth, your hair, your legs, or your chest, chances are his interest in you is physical too. One telling test: watch how he reacts when you're holding a coffee cup. If you cradle it, gently rub the rim, or run your fingers along its side and he can't tear his eyes away from your hands, he's likely picturing himself on the receiving end of that touch.

Learn about powerful places to touch a man and drive him wild in this article on men's erogenous zones.

2. Meaningful Eye Contact

This differs from direct staring or the gaze patterns above. Meaningful eye contact happens without a word being said, and yet it says everything. Many people describe it as feeling like they can "see into someone's soul."

The muscles around the eyes soften, the gaze relaxes into something less intense, edging close to (but not quite) the half-lidded look of lust. It's a sign of sexual attraction that shows he's connected to you and settling into your presence in a physical way.

Meaningful eye contact is also one of the clearest signs that a guy enjoys sex with you.

Related: 17 signs that he is making love to you.

Once things heat up, sustained eye contact is also one of the most intense blowjob techniques. Speaking of which, if you want to pick up some powerful blow job techniques to make your man squirm with pleasure, you'll find 31 bj techniques here.

3. Mirroring

Mirroring is a classic marker of sexual interest, and it shows up in plenty of situations if you know what to watch for. Notice whether your friend subtly shifts their body to match yours.

• If you shift in your seat, do they follow suit?
• If you cross your legs or touch your hair, do they mimic it?

Scientists believe mirroring is a holdover from our evolutionary past, copying movements signals you're non-threatening. It creates a familiar, approachable dynamic by reflecting the other person's actions back at them. The more someone sees themselves in you, the deeper the attraction tends to run.

4. Flirting

Read: Everything you need to know about flirting.

Flirting seems simple on the surface, but it has its nuances. It's always near the top of any list of sexual attraction signs, but context matters a lot. First, figure out whether the intensity of flirting actually fits the setting you're in.

If a guy gets very sexually flirtatious in a work environment, that's a real red flag that you're dealing with someone socially clueless or worse. Appropriate flirting in that context stays playful, not suggestive, focused on subtle compliments about your looks rather than overt sexual comments.

In a casual setting or at a club, some sexually charged flirting is fine, as long as it stays playful rather than aggressive. Speaking of playful… for advice and tips on flirting, check out this foolproof article.

Sometimes flirting is genuinely hard to spot. Watch for these 13 signs that he's flirting with you and flirt right back!

5. Playful Touch

The easiest way to explain playful touch is to show what it isn't. A guy rubbing your leg, back, or any other body part isn't engaging in playful touch. That's still a sign of sexual attraction, just not the kind you want to lean into right away.

Rubbing and sustained, pressured contact is the kind of sign that should make you pull back a little, it's overtly sexual and implies an intimacy that may not exist between you yet.

Playful touch, on the other hand, is exactly what it sounds like, light, spontaneous, and quick, closer to puppies play-fighting than anything else.

Usually it's just a brief fingertip touch on your arm or leg to punctuate a point, or something that happens naturally during shared laughter. It's subtle, yet oddly electric. Playful touch feels almost like static electricity. He'll also steer clear of touching anywhere overtly intimate until you're alone together.

A big sign he's sexually attracted is touching your hair. Hair carries a unique kind of sexual intimacy for men. You'll know you've crossed past flirting territory once he runs his hand down your hair. Don't forget to touch him back too!

Touching him back is actually a powerful way to quickly build sexual tension and get him aroused. Learn why sexual tension is the single most powerful move in your toolbox.

Speaking of arousing him, this article will teach you everything you need to know.

6. That Magnetic Pull

Have you ever shared a space with someone you're attracted to and suddenly realized you'd drifted right next to them without noticing you'd even moved?

That's "magnetic pull" in action. It sounds a bit spiritual or new-age, but some theorize it relates to a concept called 'cellular attraction,' the idea that our cells are drawn to each other almost as if part of the same body, creating an uncontrollable pull toward touch or proximity.

Our sense of personal space shifts around someone we're sexually attracted to, expanding to include them within our comfort zone. If you suspect this is happening between you and your crush, here's a simple test…

Once you notice you're sharing personal space, slowly shift positions. If he keeps closing the gap without seeming to notice, that magnetic pull is definitely at play.

Magnetic pull can spark great sexual chemistry. Here are 14 powerful ways to help sexual chemistry.

7. He Remembers The Small Things

A man who's sexually attracted to you tends to develop a kind of thoughtful memory. He'll recall little details that matter to you.

This goes beyond remembering your coffee order, think more like recalling that you used to drink hot chocolate with star marshmallows on snowy days as a kid, then surprising you with one out of nowhere. A man who's both physically and sexually attracted to you wants to show he knows the meaningful things about you, not just the surface-level facts.

This could also be one of 13 signs he wants a relationship with you!

This is a comfort-building behavior meant to establish him as approachable and to encourage bonding, as researchers might put it. It usually works well. The trick is sustaining that kind of attentiveness once you're actually dating.

8. His Voice Drops Lower

This one takes some careful listening, since it's about the tone he uses around you. It used to be that women trailed off sentences on a high note, sounding tentative, while men spoke in decisive, deep tones, but that's less universally true today.

Researchers have found that women tend to adopt new speech patterns before men catch up. The "questioning" upward inflection is relatively recent, often nicknamed the "Valley Girl" pattern, traced back to the early 80s.

More men now speak in that Valley Girl cadence in casual conversation than not. So instead of his voice rising toward the end of sentences when he's interested in you, he'll shift into deeper, lower tones, ones we associate more with intimacy, arousal, and seduction. Interestingly, your own vocal pattern will likely shift the same way when you're attracted to someone.

If you want to learn more about talking dirty to your man, check out the examples and techniques I cover in the dirty talking instructional video here.

9. Self-Touching

Nothing inappropriate here, self-touching just means someone subtly stroking their own hands or face, or running a hand along their thigh. A man might also cross one arm over his body and reach up to squeeze his own shoulder. It's a subtle movement, but it reveals a lot about attraction.

Helpful: We listed the 17 signs that a guy is really turned on by you.

10. Hair Stroking

Not yours. If a man reaches out and strokes your hair before that kind of relationship exists, or before you're ready for it, that's a red flag that he's either too aggressive or socially clueless.

The hair stroking we mean here is him touching his own. He's not petting his own head exactly, but he might lightly run his fingers through it or brush a hand down the back of his head. This signals he's flustered and a bit unsure of himself around you, a strong sign of sexual attraction.

11. He Tries To Get You Alone

By exclusion, I don't mean he's leaving you out. Quite the opposite, he'll actively try to remove other people from the equation. In other words, he'll work to get the two of you alone so you can talk privately. One of the surest signs of sexual attraction is a guy who's eager to have you all to himself.

You're pretty confident he's attracted to you, but does he actually like you? Don't waste more time wondering! Here are 16 must-know signs he likes you (and 4 signs he's not into you).

Still not sure? He might just be shy. Discover the 4 signs that a shy guy is into you! Sometimes you just need to take the leap and talk to a guy you like, because he's too nervous to make the first move.

Lastly, you may also want to check out the signs your man likes going down on you.

You've Spotted The Signs…Now What?

If you notice two or three of these signs with a guy, how should you respond?

That's the tricky part. First, figure out whether you're attracted to him in return. Being someone's object of desire is flattering, but if the feeling isn't mutual, it can create real problems.

If you do feel the same way, your best move is to mirror some of his behavior and show a few signals of your own that you're sexually attracted too.

Oh, and…

Once things start getting physical, you might also want to know whether he just wants sex or is open to a relationship.

Lastly, you may want to check the signs that a man doesn't want sex with you if none of the above signs are showing up.

October 13, 2020