116 Dom & Sub BDSM Nicknames For Him To Try Tonight

When most people hear "pet names," they picture the cute nicknames couples or close friends use with each other. Used well, they're genuinely endearing. But within BDSM, pet names serve an additional purpose. Below, I'll explain why these names matter and how to pick one for yourself. Or, if you'd rather skip ahead, jump straight to the first list of BDSM names.

Why BDSM Names Matter

If you've already gone through our guide to BDSM, you know that some people settle into dominant and submissive roles, or the closely related top and bottom dynamic. Some couples even live in 24/7 power exchange relationships, never stepping outside those roles. Whether you're keeping BDSM confined to the bedroom or treating it as a full lifestyle, you may eventually find yourself picking a dominant name for yourself or a submissive name for your partner.

They set the mental stage – People adopt dom or sub names for different reasons. Some only use them mid-scene, as a way to lock into their roles and shift headspace — similar to dimming the lights or slipping into lingerie before sex. Even couples with no interest in BDSM sometimes use special pet names in the bedroom.

They cement the roles – While some limit BDSM names strictly to scenes, others carry their dominant or submissive names into everyday interactions with their partner. If you already have a pet name you use with your partner — whether constantly or just in tender moments — this concept will feel familiar. These nicknames reinforce agreed-upon roles and serve as a quiet reminder of the bond between partners. In some pairings, only the dominant partner uses the submissive nickname.

Is a naming ceremony worth it? – Some couples mark the choice with a small ceremony, either private or at an appropriate event, turning a slave name into something symbolic of the relationship. Similar to collaring ceremonies, where a collar or piece of jewelry is exchanged to signal commitment. None of this needs to be formal unless you want it to be.

A quick reminder — this isn't purely playful territory. These BDSM rules keep things safe!

That said, BDSM names aren't always intimate or private. Plenty of people adopt them for public scenes or social settings specifically to protect their real identity — at play parties, dungeons, and similar spaces. Titles like "Lady" or "Master" often signal dominant or submissive status to people who don't know you personally.

Big "D" and little "s" – These nicknames also show up frequently in online kink communities, doubling as both screen names and scene names. There's even an informal typing convention: dominants tend to capitalize their names and pronouns, while submissives typically keep theirs lowercase.

Now that you understand the why, when, and how behind BDSM names, you're probably curious what to pick for yourself. If you've absorbed any BDSM media or spent time in kink circles, you've likely noticed recurring favorites — though there's plenty of room to get creative or unconventional too.

Keep reading to find your dominant or submissive nickname.

Dominant Names

A well-chosen name for a dominant should make you feel powerful and firmly in control — never awkward or like you're playing a part. It should ready you to run a bondage scene (discover more about bondage) and guide your partner with confidence. Many dominants pair one of the titles below with their real name — think "Lady Sarah."

Female Dominant Names

Here are some popular titles and names for female dominants to use in scenes or throughout a relationship:

1. Mistress
2. Maitresse
3. Milenka
4. Lady
5. Goddess
6. Queen
7. Mommy
8. Domina
9. Countess
10. Khaleesi
11. Princess
12. Ma'am
13. Madam
14. Governess
15. Headmistress
16. Miss
17. Ms
18. Bitch

Chances are you already recognize several of these.

Mistress ranks among the most common — it's the feminine counterpart to Master. Not everyone loves it, though, given its ties to human slavery. If that bothers you, something like Khaleesi, borrowed from Game of Thrones, might suit you better. That's really an invitation to pull names from any media you love.

Titles like Goddess or Queen work well when you want an air of authority and reverence. Tacking on a descriptor like "glorious" or "benevolent" personalizes it further.

Domina is less common but still carries elegance, and Princess can ironically signal a lack of power — making it a fun power-trip name when your submissive is forced to address you that way.

Check out our BDSM checklist while you're exploring this lifestyle further.

Male Dominant Names

Most male dominant titles are simply the masculine equivalents of the female names above.

1. King
2. Lord
3. Dom
4. Count
5. Prince
6. Headmaster
7. Mister
8. Maestro
9. Dominus
10. Daddy
11. Sir

Again, most of these carry inherent authority. Daddy is a particularly popular pick, well-suited to dominants with a nurturing, guiding, protective streak toward their submissives. It's also a natural fit within a DD/lg dynamic.

Related: Do You Like Calling Him Daddy In Bed? You're Not Alone!

Not everyone is drawn to the connotations of Daddy or Mommy, of course — it's entirely a matter of personal taste.

Gender Neutral Dominant Names

If the list of names to call your husband felt a little thin, the options below might round things out:

1. Your Highness
2. Master
3. Owner
4. Handler
5. Governor
6. Deity
7. Liege
8. Chief
9. Boss
10. Commander
11. Your Exaltedness
12. Your Excellency
13. Keeper
14. Captain
15. Mx.
16. Sergeant
17. Alpha
18. Patron
19. First initial — i.e. J for Jason or Jennifer

You'll notice a few of these lean masculine in tone, but plenty of people don't see dominant names as inherently gendered — whoever runs the scene stays in control regardless of being a man, woman, or nonbinary person. If you play with multiple dominant partners, sticking to one shared title can simplify things, though some people prefer a unique name per partner.

Side note: As a dominant, you might want to use some of these dominant phrases with your sub to keep them in check. Subs, meanwhile, can try some of the 103 submissive lines in your next scene.

Submissive Names

Submissive names mirror the dominant options above and often reflect the specific dynamic a couple has settled into (think Daddy and little girl). They can foster a sense of subservience and being cared for, easing the path into a scene or into subspace (learn more about subspace here).

Said the right way, by the right person, a submissive's name can spark instant arousal — especially with "My" tacked on the front ("My slut," etc.)! Try to match the name to the type of submissive involved.

Related: Some people feel most cared for through a praise kink.

Now, the names themselves.

Female Submissive Names

1. Miss
2. Little girl
3. Baby girl
4. Kajira
5. Princess
6. Damsel
7. Girlie
8. Pearl
9. Missy
10. Miss
11. Good girl

Notice how Princess shifts toward something more youthful and submissive here, compared to its dominant usage above. Damsel pushes that further, implying the submissive needs rescuing.

Male Sub Names

1. Kajirus
2. Baby boy
3. Stud
4. Boi
5. Sissy
6. Cucky or Cuck. Get: Cuckolding ideas and tips.

Names like Baby Boy or Boi lean into youthfulness and a need for care. Stud can go either way — complimentary, or a great fit for pony play. Sissy, meanwhile, tends toward humiliation play if that's more your style.

Gender Neutral Submissive Names

Not every submissive wants a gendered nickname. If that's you, one of these options — and there are plenty to choose from — might land better.

1. Kitten
2. Slave
3. Servant
4. Slut
5. Sugar
6. Sunshine
7. Toots(ie)
8. Thing
9. Sweetie
10. Sweetpea
11. Sweetheart
12. Sub
13. Star(light)
14. Pain Slut
15. Whore
16. Toy (Sex toy, fuck toy)
17. Thrall
18. Doll
19. Cub
20. Cutie
21. Honey
22. (Honey)bee
23. Hun
24. Lamb
25. Baby
26. Bunny
27. Pet
28. Duckie
29. Poppet
30. Pup(py)
31. Possession
32. Bootlicker
33. Dearest
34. Dear
35. Property
36. Treasure
37. Babe
38. Brat
39. Cupcake
40. Darling
41. Dove
42. Pig/piggy/piglet
43. Pudding
44. Pumpkin
45. Flower
46. Cookie
47. Lovebug
48. Little one
49. Cherub/Angel
50. Bitch
51. Cumslut/whore
52. Cunt/Cockwhore

Submissive names frequently signal youth or diminished power. Some read as sweet and loving, others lean more insulting or degrading — and that split isn't for everyone. The same applies to descriptors like "sweet" and "good" versus "bratty" and "filthy," which shift how personal the name feels. If gentler, more affectionate names appeal to you, you might also gravitate toward sensual domination over harsher kink play.

Alternatively, if sexual humiliation is your interest, something like Flower or Doll for a male submissive works precisely because it's feminine-coded. You can also blend a sweet descriptor with a harsher name, or vice versa, for extra flavor — Slave Princess or Darling Slut, for instance. Softening a "demeaning" name is as easy as prefacing it with "My," which can turn it affectionate instead.

There's also a whole category of names built around the power-exchange dynamic itself, like Kitten, which fits both pet play and general BDSM scenes. Precious or Treasure honor the closeness between dominant and submissive, while a sassy submissive might identify best with Brat.

Learn: What a brat is and how to be bratty as a submissive.

These 6 BDSM games can spark ideas for your own scenes.

Want to personalize any of these names? Just tack on your partner's actual name or nickname. Matt might become "Darling Matty" while submitting to you, or you could go by "[Your name] Bear" in the bedroom.

Closing Thoughts On Master And Slave Names

At the end of the day, the "best" dominant or submissive nickname is completely subjective. So keep a few things in mind:

Make it personal – What feels right to you? What deepens your connection with your partner? Is there a specific submissive name that captures your partner's personality? What about your own, whether dominant or submissive?

Traditional versus unique? – There's no rule requiring a classic or predictable name. A slave name that feels perfect to one couple might strike another as cheesy or unkind.

Multiple names are fine – You're not locked into a single dominant name for your guy. Context can call for something different — a fairly ordinary nickname like "Darling" might work fine around vanilla friends, while "Yes, Sir" can pass as a male dominant name in most settings without tipping anyone off to its BDSM roots.

Similarly, your partner might use a racier female submissive name when you're around fellow kinksters or alone together, saving a subtler nickname for mixed company. Or you might reserve a private submissive pet name for especially intimate moments, or for pushing your partner deeper into submission.

Different scenes can also call for different names — a Daddy/little girl scene might call for names you don't normally use day-to-day. Your master might even switch names as a form of punishment. More BDSM punishment ideas here.

Worth considering too — some people are switches, comfortable moving between dominant and submissive roles. If that's your partner, his male sub name might look nothing like the dominant nickname you use for him elsewhere.

There doesn't need to be logic behind having several submissive or dominant nicknames, unless your BDSM contract spells specific ones out. Sometimes they just emerge naturally.

Read More: Consensual Bondage – The Ultimate Guide to BDSM Contracts

And honestly, you don't need a submissive name for him at all if he'd simply rather you use his given name. Tone of voice alone can carry dominance or submission through an ordinary name — handy if you're worried about accidentally using a scene nickname around people outside the lifestyle.

Choosing the right pet name — dominant or submissive — can help lock you into the right mental space for BDSM roles, or simply reinforce the dynamic within your relationship. Many of these names are sweet and sexy enough that they show up in vanilla sex too. Have fun figuring out what clicks for you and your partner, even if you ultimately decide skip special names altogether.

February 11, 2020