How To Give A Sensual Tantric Massage: 5 Core Techniques

If you live somewhere large and modern, you may have already experienced a professional Tantric massage firsthand. It's not something every city offers, and it isn't always legal, either. Tantric massage shares a lot of DNA with Tantric sex — spirituality, body worship — which is exactly why so many people fall in love with it! You can also recreate it at home with a partner if a professional session isn't accessible or comfortable for you, and we've put together our best guidance for a great Tantric massage.

Getting To Know Tantric Massage

When you're on the receiving end, Tantric massage centers entirely on you and your body. Many of us don't get enough nurturing physical touch in everyday life, and this practice can help fill that gap. You might assume this style of massage is purely a foreplay warm-up — this is Love Curi, after all — but it doesn't have to lead anywhere. Let your partner simply worship your body and remind you how beautiful and capable it is while you melt into relaxation.

Whether you want your Tantric massage to end with a happy ending or not, it should never feel rushed.

Setting The Stage

A few steps to get ready for a Tantric massage:

• Choose your spot. The bedroom is the natural choice, but the sofa or even the living room floor works too.
• Fill the air with scent. Light candles or incense, or plug in your favorite oil warmer, so the room feels warm and welcoming.
• Lower the lighting. Candlelight sets a great mood, or drape a colored scarf over a lamp to soften the glow.
• Set the soundtrack. Pick calming music — something like Enya's soothing vocals could be perfect, or opt for gentle nature sounds instead. It's entirely your call.
• Prep the bed. Put fresh linens down, and consider folding an extra sheet in half or laying out a towel to catch excess oil.
• Get your body ready. Shave, wax, exfoliate, moisturize, or do whatever prep makes you feel your best. This whole experience is about you.

What Happens During A Tantric Massage

Kick things off with an erotic bath. Fill the tub as hot as you like it, add bubble bath or a bath bomb, and sink in to let the water soak into your skin. Light some candles in the bathroom too. Your partner should then give your body his full attention while washing you, including shampooing your hair — who doesn't love a good scalp massage? You don't need to do anything but let go and relax.

Once you're out of the bath, he can smooth a thick lotion over your entire body, leaving your skin feeling incredibly soft. A body oil that doubles as moisturizer and massage medium works great, or he can switch to a dedicated massage oil once he's ready. If heat appeals to you, try a massage candle — the wax melts at a gentle, skin-safe temperature. Cooling massage products exist too. JimmyJane, a well-known sex toy brand, makes both massage candles and ceramic stones your partner can incorporate into the session.

Unlike a standard massage, you'll be fully nude for this one. Plenty of women find it hard to feel at ease in their own skin, even with a long-term partner — check out this advice about increasing self-confidence when on top for help with that. You can ease into it by starting in a robe or under a towel, and even ask your partner to wait outside until you're settled on the bed. As he works on different areas, he can shift the towel aside, and if you feel ready, he can remove it altogether.

Once you're comfortable, your partner should massage and stimulate every part of your body. This gets your circulation moving and can loosen tight muscle knots! A professional therapist might steer clear of your breasts and genitals, but your partner doesn't have to hold back — kneading your chest, stroking your labia, stimulating your clitoris, massaging your buttcheeks, even touching your anus, all fair game if you're into it. Speak up about what you want, whether through words or appreciative sounds, and never let him do anything that doesn't feel good to you.

Techniques For A Tantric Massage

If your partner is giving the massage, have him read this section! Our sensual massage techniques guide is another good resource.

Side By Side – One approach involves your partner placing a hand on each side of your vagina, then using both thumbs together to stimulate your clit — even gently pinching it between them.

Face Up – Another technique that weaves together your genitals with the rest of your body starts with your partner warming oil between his palms while you lie on your back. He should start with both hands at the small of your back, sliding them up toward your shoulders, circling around, and working back down toward your butt. This is a great moment to experiment with anal fingering if that interests you — or stick with standard fingering, which works just as well (tips and techniques for fingering yourself).

Don't Skip The Other Sensual Spots – He shouldn't move straight from non-erotic areas to your genitals and stop there. His hands should keep wandering — back to your back, your arms, your shoulders. Make sure he doesn't overlook body parts that rarely get sensual attention, like your hands, scalp, or ears. If a gentle hair tug wakes up your scalp in a good way, work that into the massage too.

Finding The Right Pressure – Just as important, he shouldn't stick to only feather-light touches or only intense pressure. A great Tantric massage blends both, keeping you relaxed and stimulated while never quite predictable. That said, switching too rapidly between the two can be jarring, so he shouldn't overdo the variation.

Orgasm Optional, But Welcome – As his hands return to your genitals, he can bring you to orgasm manually if you'd like one. Orgasm is never a requirement with Tantric massage (or with orgasmic meditation) — you might chase multiple orgasms if that appeals to you, or settle for one and simply stay relaxed while he finishes up. You might even doze off afterward, given how indulgent the whole experience is. However you want to close it out is entirely your choice.

That's the real gift of Tantric massage — the person receiving it has zero obligations, just wave after wave of pleasure. Through touch alone, your partner communicates how much he values you, letting you step outside your usual roles — professional, spouse, parent, caretaker — for a little while. And if you'd like to return the favor down the line, we're confident he'll appreciate it.

Finally, these same techniques translate well to tantric self-massage during masturbation.

January 23, 2021