6 Thrilling BDSM Games To Keep Your Sex Life Electric

Whether BDSM is already part of your repertoire or you're just getting started — check out this guide to BDSM for the basics — BDSM games are a great way to crank the intensity up to "10" and create memories in the bedroom that stick with you.

BDSM games serve all kinds of purposes. They can deepen your connection with a partner, work as a stress release, give you a reason to try a new toy, help train a submissive in a stricter BDSM dynamic, or simply breathe fresh life into a routine that's gone a bit stale.

These games can also be a great fit if you lean strongly dominant or submissive. Discover your sexual blueprint.

1. Playing With Remote-Controlled Toys

Sex toys are fun enough on their own, but add a power-play twist to a remote-controlled one, and things get considerably more interesting. In this game, the dominant partner holds onto the remote for a powered toy. Lelo makes a few solid options, and remote-controlled vibrating panties work well too.

Head out together somewhere public — a restaurant, a movie theater — with your secret fully hidden. Whoever's holding the remote controls when it activates, along with the mode and intensity. Early on, your job is to keep a straight face no matter what, holding your composure as the intensity climbs and you edge closer to orgasm. And orgasming isn't up to you — that decision belongs to him too. It's a fantastic way to fold edging into your sex life!

Impress him enough, and he might let you finish. Slip up and orgasm without permission, and a little punishment might follow once you're somewhere private — maybe a spanking, or if he's feeling particularly cruel, no dessert!

Want to mix things up? Hand the remote to friends or fellow BDSM enthusiasts looking for some teasing fun, especially if they've never used the toy before.

2. Ice Ice Baby

Cold ice makes nipples spring to attention, shrinks penises closer to the body, and creates the kind of chill penguins would love. You don't need Antarctic weather to have fun with it, though — there's plenty of room for ice in BDSM games specifically.

• Make an ice dildo by filling a condom with water, knotting it, and freezing it solid. Once frozen, it works vaginally — skip anal use, since it has no flared base. An ice dildo hits especially hard if you're bound and blindfolded and your partner brings it out with zero warning. Expect goosebumps, and maybe some begging for less — or more, depending on what your partner decides you're allowed.
• Materials like stainless steel, ceramic, and glass hold temperature well. Run a toy made from any of these under icy water to chill it (or hot water to warm it up), then use it directly or trail it over sensitive spots like the nipples for a striking effect.
• Plain ice cubes work great too when insertion isn't the goal. Trace one down his spine, or across his nipples, to tease or torment. Press one against metal nipple clamps for extra intensity, or use it afterward to soothe skin once the clamps come off!

3. Punishment By The Numbers

One great way to leave an impact — pun fully intended — is to have your submissive count each blow out loud. Whether you're spanking, caning, whipping, or flogging your husband, have him keep the tally. It's especially useful for anyone who genuinely dislikes impact play, since knowing the total — say, 15 or 20 strokes — makes it feel more manageable. If he loses his composure and forgets the count, especially because he's enjoying it too much, restart from the beginning. Eventually you'll reach the end, with his backside glowing a lovely shade of red!

More spanking ideas here.

4. Task-Oriented Play

Assigning tasks is a classic training tool for submissives living the BDSM lifestyle, but it's a fun theme even without a full-time 24/7 dynamic. There's plenty of room to get creative with tasks for your submissive.

• Have your partner retrieve something on hands and knees, dog-style. It could be something placed just for the game — a slip of paper — or something you genuinely need, like your phone or a pencil. Set a time limit that's achievable but tight. Success earns a reward, like orgasm or oral sex; failure calls for a punishment! Pair this with a BDSM collar, a tail butt plug, mitts, and a leather mask for the full effect. More on using butt plugs during sex.
• Build an obstacle course somewhere in the house or dungeon space — furniture, pillows, even a fragile item to navigate carefully around within a set time. A riding crop adds a fun bit of realism as your "pet" tries to squeeze around tight corners.
• Leave written tasks for your submissive to complete during the day, functional or sexy in nature. Doing the dishes counts, but so does watching porn without finishing, masturbating with a favorite toy (bonus points for recording it), or wearing a butt plug for the whole day. Set up cameras for extra credit, ensuring everything gets done properly while you're away!

For an especially devious twist, try distracting your submissive as they race against the clock — porn or masturbation as a built-in distraction usually derails even the most focused pet. Counting down out loud can rattle them into a mistake, or you could trail them around the room tapping a crop against your leg to keep their adrenaline spiking.

5. Draw The Cards

Following every rule perfectly is tough for any submissive, which is exactly what makes drawing a punishment card so effective. If you're playing sub and you've broken a rule or misbehaved, drawing randomly from a deck of punishment cards makes disobedience feel a lot less appealing next time!

Cards can list a straightforward punishment, or the submissive can be tasked with creating new ones — drawings included for extra motivation! It's a fun twist to require a set number of new punishment cards each day. A few cards might even instruct you to draw two more, keeping the game different every time you play. Building a matching reward deck for every job well done rounds things out nicely.

6. Stranger Roleplay

Combine BDSM, stranger-sex fantasies, dressing sexy, and roleplay for an unforgettable night or weekend. This one takes more setup and planning, but the payoff is usually well worth it!

Agree to meet somewhere public, but arrive separately, as strangers. One of you approaches and attempts to strike up interest with the other. If the submissive is assigned to make the first move, they may have to try repeatedly until it lands. Success might mean walking away with a phone number, or — for something bolder — heading off to a hotel room with this newly "met" stranger.

Throughout the game, the dominant can order drinks, direct body language, have the submissive dance or even sing karaoke, and generally push things a little outside the ordinary. It's a fun way to step out of your comfort zone, and the stranger-roleplay backdrop makes it especially thrilling. Check out 43 more freaky roleplay ideas.

BDSM games get especially fun when the person in control hands out instructions practically designed to fail. And when a submissive quietly ignores instructions or overlooks a detail on purpose to earn a spanking, there's often a secret thrill in landing right back in their favorite punishment. In the end, you and your partner know each other best, so feel free to adjust the difficulty of any game up or down to fit exactly what you're both after.

October 23, 2020