103 Things A Submissive Can Say To Their Dom

Here you'll find 103 submissive phrases to use with your dom, whether you're mid-scene, in bed, or just texting. I've broken these into separate lists for brats, masochists, slaves, and pleasure subs, plus a general list that applies across most types of subs.

You'll come away knowing how to speak up in nearly any situation or dynamic, boosting your confidence as a sub along the way. Feel free to jump straight to the submissive phrases and responses.

What you say and do during a BDSM scene or power exchange relationship helps you settle into a submissive headspace and reinforces the power flow between you and your partner, supporting your ability to be more submissive. It's also useful when embodying specific roles, much like a costume helps you inhabit a character more fully.

Read next: 35 wild BDSM role playing ideas.

Since the right words to your dom can turn him on, think of these ideas as submissive dirty talk that can arouse both of you.

What To Keep In Mind While Talking To Your Dom

A healthy power exchange relationship or BDSM scene depends on trust, strong communication, respect, and consent.

Related: The Ultimate Guide to BDSM Contracts

Even as the submissive, you carry responsibility toward your dominant partner too. You don't need permission for everything you say, but staying within your partner's limits still matters.

Deep dive: BDSM limits (hard & soft limits).

Obviously, steer clear of anything genuinely hurtful, cruel, or spoken out of real anger. Keep those emotions separate from your D/s relationship or BDSM lifestyle.

Go deeper: Being a good submissive – 23 behaviors, tips and techniques.

Picking The Right Words For Your Dom

What you say to your dom shifts depending on the type of domination and submission (or dynamic) you share. The phrase lists below offer ideas suited to different submissive styles, moving from general phrases toward bratty ones and beyond.

Many of these phrases work across multiple dynamics and relationship types, and others shift meaning entirely with a change in tone. A sincere "Yes, Ma'am" reads as respectful compliance, while a sarcastic delivery of the same line becomes mockery. Don't be afraid to play with tone and creativity when talking to your dom!

Things To Say To Your Dom

General Dom/Sub Dynamics

Here are broadly useful submissive phrases for your dom. These work even without a highly specific dynamic beyond basic Dom/sub, and adapt easily to the categories below.

1. Yes, ma'am/sir
2. Thank you (whether receiving punishment or reward) – list of 16 BDSM punishments
3. I belong to you
4. Do with me as you wish
5. I want your cock in my mouth/throat – 11 deep throating tips & techniques
6. I want to kneel between your legs/have you between mine
7. I've missed you so badly
8. I love your [body part]
9. I love the way you [action]
10. Please
11. I trust you completely
12. I'm so fortunate to be yours
13. I can't wait for you to use me
14. Have I been your good girl?
15. How can I please you?
16. You make me feel safe
17. May I [action]?
18. You're the one in control
19. It would be my pleasure
20. Whatever you wish
21. Your wish is my command
22. I'm yours
23. I'll behave
24. Serving you is an honor
25. I hope I've made you proud
26. I'll try my hardest
27. Show me how to do better
28. Your happiness/satisfaction/pleasure is reward enough for me – Pleasure your man with these 15 techniques.

You can also use pet names or call yourself your dom's slut, whore, or cum slut/guzzler, layering in words like naughty, dirty, horny, or depraved.

Brat Tamer/Brat

If you lean brat, expect to talk back with sass and attitude instead of instantly obeying. Brats typically want their dom to seize control forcefully and prove they're worthy of submission.

Learn more about brat submission and BDSM.

Sarcasm is your greatest asset in this dynamic. A little pushback works too, especially delivered playfully or flirtatiously. Picture these lines with a smirk or a cheeky grin attached. Most brats genuinely enjoy teasing their dom (24 ways to tease your man)!

1. Nope
2. I don't feel like it
3. You'll never break me
4. Make me/You can't make me
5. Prove it
6. I doubt it
7. Aw, cute (dripping with condescension)
8. Try harder
9. I'd love to watch you try
10. I dare you to
11. You don't intimidate me
12. Yep, I did it (owning up to being naughty)
13. Go ahead and try to stop me
14. Is that really the best you've got?
15. Let me think about that (responding to a command)
16. I could do this all day long
17. Nice attempt
18. And why should I?
19. What happens if I don't?
20. (During a punishment) So when's this actually starting?

Rolling your eyes or letting out a laugh really gets under your dom's skin. A little physical resistance pairs beautifully with these bratty lines too.

Sadist/Masochist

A masochist finds pleasure in receiving pain, usually physical pain within BDSM or D/s play. As a masochist, you're free to ask directly for what you want, though a bratty streak might mean misbehaving on purpose to earn the pain you're after. Just remember, a genuine sadist might withhold it entirely!

1. Please, hurt me
2. Can I have one more (after a paddling)?
3. Is that the best you can manage?
4. That barely even stings
5. (Sarcastically) Oh no, please don't!
6. (Sarcastically) Not another spanking, anything but that.
7. Thank you (for the pain/punishment)
8. I love it when you hurt me
9. More, please
10. Harder
11. I've misbehaved and deserve punishment
12. I know you're dying to spank me

Learn: What is sadism and masochism and how to explore it.

Master/Slave

The M/s dynamic tends to run stricter than typical D/s, often layered with a service component. Because of that, expect your language to skew more obedient and deferential than the bratty phrases above.

1. I exist to serve you
2. Yes, Master/Mistress (or your chosen honorific)
3. Would you care for [service or item]?
4. I belong entirely to you
5. Serving you is my purpose

Many practitioners equate this with 24/7 total power exchange (TPE), where the dynamic never fully switches off. That can mean projecting submissiveness even during ordinary interactions or around other people, in which case a more subtle phrase to your dom keeps things discreet.

Some TPE relationships also enforce a rule that the slave doesn't speak unless spoken to first, and that they keep their eyes lowered unless told to look up or make eye contact with their master.

Breeder/Being Bred

Not everyone with a breeding kink incorporates D/s, but the two pair naturally. Typically, the breeder takes the dominant role while the person being bred submits. Alongside these lines, pulling him in close and wrapping your legs around him as he finishes signals that you want him inside you when he cums.

1. Breed me
2. I'm not using any birth control
3. Cum inside me
4. We don't need protection
5. Fill me up as deep as you can
6. I want to get pregnant
7. I want to carry your child
8. Release yourself inside me
9. I want to become a parent
10. Give me all your cum
11. This cum slut needs every last drop
12. I'm ovulating and need you to fill me right now
13. I'm doing [task] so you'll get me pregnant
14. I need you to finish inside me
15. I can't wait to feel you inside me
16. Send that cum straight into my womb

Some couples flip the script, with the dominant being the one bred while commanding their submissive to impregnate them. A penis isn't required either — ejaculating or ovipositor-style toys filled with lube or cum can "release" into your partner. As the sub in this scenario, focus on affirming your dom and giving them exactly what they're asking for.

1. I'm going to fill you up/get you pregnant
2. I can't wait to knock you up
3. This is entirely for you (regarding cumming)

Pleasure Dom/Sub

While a pleasure dom centers the scene on giving their sub intense pleasure, that sub might get pushed right to their breaking point trying to take it all. Knowing how to beg your dominant to either stop or keep going matters a lot in these dynamics.

Try weaving in a few of these phrases too.

1. I can't handle any more
2. Stop (make sure you've agreed on a safeword beforehand if "Stop" might come up mid-scene)
3. It's too much
4. Oh my god, this feels incredible
5. How are you even doing that?
6. You always know exactly what I need
7. You're too good to me
8. What did I do to deserve this?

Submissive Phone Talk

All of the phrases above translate to phone calls or video chats too. Just adapt them naturally to whatever you're doing together or the phone sex you're having.

Tips for hot phone sex.

Center your words around what you're doing to yourself, what you want done to you, what you'd like to do to your dom, or memories of things you've done together.

Submissive Texts To Send Your Dom

Plenty of the ideas above work by text too, but here are a few text-specific options.

1. I keep thinking about you taking/spanking/[other action] me
2. How do you want me positioned when you get home/come over?
3. I'm ready for your orders/my instructions
4. I can't wait to be your filthy little slut tonight. Tips of being slutty.
5. I'm trying to [complete a command], but it's tough because [thoughts/feelings]

If you're unsure how to approach texting your dominant, consider setting up submissive rules for your texts — waiting for them to text first, checking in at set times (waking up, before work, before bed), or sending a standard line like "Sub [your name] reporting for duty" (even without a reply!).

Photos, videos, and voice messages also work great as part of submissive sexting.

Photo ideas include:

1. Showing off your collar and nothing else
2. You wearing panties/lingerie/cuffs/something sexy, captioned "Do you approve?"
3. A new toy you're hoping your dom will use on you
4. Two options (cuffs, lingerie, toys) for your dom to pick between
5. Outfit choices for the day, or for a future scene
6. How wet your panties/pants are, or the evidence left where you're sitting (maybe with "This is your fault")
7. A photo he once took of you ("Remember this one?")

A video of yourself masturbating, or even just a voice recording, hits especially hard.

If you're sending explicit content to your dom, using an encrypted app like Signal helps keep it out of the wrong hands.

Go deeper: How to take and send sexy selfies and how to take hot nudes.

More Advice On Talking To Your Dom

Don't treat this list as gospel. It's a launching point, not a rigid script. Being too rigid can make your interactions feel stilted, and leaning too hard on cliches risks feeling like a caricature instead of yourself. Aim to find a submissive voice that still feels authentically you.

Keep in mind that the most submissive thing you say during sex isn't always a word at all. Moans, sighs, whimpers, groans, and yelps can all communicate submission just as powerfully.

With all this inspiration for talking to your dom, you should feel far more confident heading into your next scene. Try some of this dirty talk the next time you're together, or send a text right now if you can't wait that long!

May 21, 2025