Pony Play Basics: Roles, Gear, and How Training Works

Not every niche kink within the BDSM community appeals to everyone, and pony play is a prime example. This particular flavor of roleplay can get elaborate, time-consuming, and pricey — but it can also become surprisingly rewarding and intimate once you're into it.

What Exactly Is Pony Play?

Pony play sits within the broader pet play category alongside kitten play, dog play, and others. Dog and pony play share some DNA because real-world animal training tools get repurposed by kinksters. A riding crop, for instance, is nearly as popular in the bedroom as it is in the stable — plenty of BDSM fans who've never touched pony play still reach for one.

Related: Pet Play 101

Back to basics, though — in nearly every pony play scenario, the dominant partner takes on the owner or trainer role, while the submissive becomes the pony (Read: How to Be More Submissive). Sometimes the submissive is "made" to act like a pony while still identifying as human; other times, they voluntarily lean fully into the animal role. That distinction shifts the entire dynamic between trainer and pony.

New to all this? Learn what BDSM is or check out our advice about BDSM for beginners first.

Ponies commonly go by ponygirl or ponyboy. As with most types of sexual roleplay (43 more role-play ideas), participants often adopt scene-specific nicknames. Within pony play circles, both masters and ponies carry these names, and you might only ever know fellow players by them.

Nicknames help solidify roles within a power-exchange dynamic. Learn how D/s relationships can be healthy.

Pony Tack

Pony play borrows a fair amount of its look from standard BDSM gear and costuming — black leather, PVC, and suede all make regular appearances, whether worn or used during a session. Corsets sometimes factor into more elaborate pony outfits too.

What sets the aesthetic apart is the addition of horse-specific equipment, or tack, including:

• Reins to direct a pony
• Saddles for riders to perch on
• Bits go into a pony's mouth for control and to control biting or noises
• Tongue ports hold down the tongue
• Bridles attach to a horse to allow the trainer to control a horse
• Martingales connect bridles to a belt
• Harnesses connect a pony to a cart
• Collars
• Hoof boots worn on the legs and feet to give the impression of hooves; may be for form or function
• Hoof mitts perform a similar function on the hands
• Polos/wraps are cloths wrapped around a pony's legs, often over hoof boots to add support, restrict movement and for aesthetic
• Masks cover a ponies head and may include a snout, ears, and mane
• Bodysuits may incorporate basks, tails and manes
• Tails may also be pony anal plugs with attached tails
• Ears
• Blinders block the pony's peripheral vision
• Wrist or ankle restraints
• Plumes sit on the head during shows and events
• Hobbles are restraints worn between the calves to limit movement
• Brushes for a pony's fur (either costumed or real)
• Crops for direction during training or punishment – learn more about punishment and reward in our post about kinky sex
• Spurs are worn by owners to train a pony

A full tack collection can run anywhere from a few hundred to several thousand dollars, and the most dedicated players tend to go all-in. Some pieces come straight from real equestrian suppliers, while human-specific items — hoof boots, for example — are sold by specialty shops (a quick Google or Etsy search turns up plenty of options).

Sounds like too much? You might prefer easing in with light bondage instead.

That said, you don't have to spend a fortune to get started. A crop, a bit, and a tail cover the essentials.

Types of Ponies

As a trainer or master, you get to decide what skills to develop in your pony — and that often depends on which type of pony you're working with (or playing as). Common categories include:

• Work ponies: strong ponies that are trained to handle heavy loads
• Breeding ponies: engage in sex with other ponies. Discover our favorite breeding kink tips and ideas.
• Cart ponies and team cart ponies: pull carts
• Riding Ponies: carry the rider on their bodies
• Show ponies: are outfitted extravagantly for shows and may be trained in dressage
• Dressage ponies: perform movements such as walking or trotting at a gait for judging/contests
• Event ponies: perform in dressage, jumping and even cross-country events like actual horses
• Pleasure ponies: exist for the pleasure of the owner
• Rubber ponies: fancy as rubber aesthetic

Some trainers cross-train their ponies to build a wider range of skills.

Because pony training runs deep, we'll walk through the more common training styles below and what each one looks like in practice. There's far more to explore than we can cover here, so dig deeper if pony play grabs your interest.

Training In Pony Play

This branch of pet play is among the most demanding. Beyond the gear itself, training covers a wide range of skills modeled closely on real equestrian methods. Just like actual horse training, it typically progresses from beginner through intermediate to advanced as the pony develops — though advancing that far is entirely optional.

Basic Pony Training

Fundamental training covers leading, tying, cross tying, and grooming. These skills form the foundation for every other type of pony training and help both partners settle into their roles while building a bond. Making sure your pony's gear fits properly is critical from the start to avoid injury, even during basic drills.

Training calls for confident dominance on your part. Practice being more dominant in the bedroom.

Leading

In the standard leading position, the trainer walks slightly ahead and to the pony's left, holding the reins or rope in the right hand with slack gathered in the left. Left-handed trainers may prefer to flip sides, keeping the reins in their dominant hand.

While leading, give your pony enough slack to follow naturally, tightening only when they're not cooperating. A sharp flick of the reins redirects a distracted pony's focus. If a pony crowds you too closely, a quick elbow nudge sends them back into place.

For a more stubborn pony, steady sideways pressure that forces a circular trot can refocus their attention before you resume leading in a straight line. You can also pull your pony into a circle toward you to throw off their balance.

Verbal cues like "Whoa" or "Halt" matter here too — pay close attention to your tone when issuing them.

Tying

Securing your pony's rope or reins to the ground or a fixed object works well when you need them to stay put while you're occupied elsewhere.

Proper tying posture means your pony stands squarely, back straight, weight evenly distributed, head up, and gaze forward. A light flick of the crop against any misaligned body part helps correct their posture. You can tell your pony to relax once they've settled into this position.

Ground tying is a specific variation where you leave your pony alone entirely so you're free to walk away and do other things. It calls for longer reins — around 25 feet. Lead your pony to the spot, then instruct "Stay" or "Stand."

With your pony holding proper form, tug the reins back, step forward, and face them directly. If they stay put, step back into the lead position and reward with "Good pony." If not, correct with something like "Wrong."

Repeat this cycle 5–10 times, then start extending the distance by two steps at a time as your pony improves, eventually reaching the full length of the reins and walking away entirely.

Standard tying requires a sturdy wall, post, or fixed ring positioned at your pony's shoulder height. Lead your pony to the ring, instruct them to stand, then step back. Use verbal cues, or a light crop tap, if they try to back away.

Keep training until they hold position reliably at the ring. From there, thread the reins or rope through the ring, and — rather than tying it off right away — keep holding the reins yourself while gradually increasing your distance, all the way to the end of the reins.

Once your pony can hold position with the rope threaded through the ring for a full ten minutes, you can finish the tie and consider this training complete.

Cross Tie

Cross tying is the final tying variation. As the name implies, two ropes cross to hold your pony in a more stable, centered position. The ropes should be just long enough to anchor to walls or posts on either side, meeting exactly where they cross.

Cross tying calls for an obedient pony who can hold still for 15 minutes at a stretch. Always secure them on a nonslip surface for safety.

Lead your pony into position, instruct them to halt, and attach ropes to either side of the bit or halter. You can detach the standard lead reins or leave them looped around your pony's neck. As with other training, give a few minutes for your pony to adjust to the new ropes — brushing them can help ease any tension.

Reattach the lead rope and walk your pony back to their stall. Repeat this several times, gradually extending how long they stay cross-tied. Once they can comfortably manage at least 15 minutes, you can secure the ropes through rings on both sides.

Grooming

The last piece of basic training is grooming — often the most intimate part of the whole process. Your hands and a brush move across your pony's hair and body. Grooming doubles nicely as aftercare when wrapping up a session, or as a calming ritual before one begins.

Discover more about aftercare and the essential rules for safe BDSM. And remember, your dominant partner can experience dom drop once a scene wraps up too.

Start by leading your pony to cross ties, a ring, or a post. Working from the neck downward, use a curry comb in circular motions across their body. Follow with a stiffer brush, using quick flicking strokes away from the pony, then switch to a body brush with smooth, steady pressure.

Once the body's done, move on to the mane, using gentle strokes to avoid damaging the hair, then the tail — being careful around plug-style tails, which can slip out if brushed too aggressively.

Brushing is complete once the tail runs knot-free through your fingers.

Finish by wiping down both your brushes and your freshly groomed pony with a soft towel. This can close out your scene, or lead into other pony play activities.

Once basic training is solid, your pony should be well-mannered and well-groomed, ready to move on to intermediate work.

Intermediate Training

If pony play is clearly resonating with you, intermediate training is the next step. Here, you'll incorporate more gear — reins, bits, bridles, crops, and possibly whips (which take real practice to use safely). The focus shifts to actively guiding your pony using this equipment.

Start by fitting the bridle and attaching the reins. To signal "walk," try a tongue click paired with a light crop flick — increasing the intensity if there's no response. Keep enough slack in the reins for comfortable movement.

You can also nudge direction with your leg. A cue on the pony's right side steers them left, and vice versa. With a whip, a light flick near the ribs works similarly.

To teach left or right turns, instruct your pony to walk, then pull the corresponding rein — pulling right guides the head (and the rest of the body) rightward.

If your pony picks up too much speed, "Easy" slows them down. "Back" teaches reversing — release rope pressure as they back up, then take up slack again once repositioned.

To stop entirely, use a command like "Whoa," applying pressure to the reins until they halt, then releasing once they've stopped. Repetition cements both the verbal and physical cues.

Whenever your pony stands still, they should hold the same square stance used in tying. Teach the command "Square up," correcting posture with the crop as needed, and have them practice stepping forward and resuming the squared stance to lock in the skill.

Gaits

Pony play training mirrors real horse training closely when it comes to gaits — the specific patterns of movement. The four core gaits — walking, trotting, cantering, and galloping — all get recreated by human ponies for both fun and authenticity.

1. Walking

Walking is the slowest and easiest gait to pick up. Real horses use a four-beat pattern, always keeping one foot raised. On all fours, a human pony can mimic this naturally; standing on two feet, a similar two-by-two rhythm approximates the same feel.

A more advanced variation is high-stepping, with the knee bent to 90 degrees and thigh parallel to the ground — typically reserved for shows rather than everyday scenes.

2. Trotting

Trotting moves faster than walking and follows a two-beat rhythm, with two hooves airborne at once in real horses. On all fours, human ponies find trotting easiest by lifting diagonal "hooves" together; on two legs, a moderate jog approximates it well.

3. Canter

Cantering follows a three-beat pattern. In real horses, one back leg initiates the motion, followed by the diagonal pairing of the opposite back leg and front leg, then the final leg completing the third beat.

It's a tricky gait to fake, but human ponies approximate it by stepping forward with one foot, quickly meeting it with the other, and repeating — similar to skipping, always leading with the same foot.

4. Gallop

Galloping is essentially a faster four-beat version of the canter, and horses execute it in two distinct phases. Running is the closest human approximation.

Once your pony has learned the gaits, practice moving through them regularly. Dressage ponies get judged on form and execution while wearing a bit, ideally showing energy and confidence throughout.

From gaits, you can progress into more advanced dressage moves — tempi, passage, piaffe, pirouettes, and half pass or side pass. Side and full passing both require leg yielding, covered shortly.

Longeing

Longeing is a training method where the trainer stays in one spot while the pony walks, trots, or canters in a circle around them. It's particularly effective for sharpening a pony's focus, often aided by a whip or crop.

A longer rope — around 20-25 feet — connects to the pony's bridle or bit at one end, with you holding the other. Start with a shorter, tighter rope and gradually loosen it as training progresses. Use the crop or whip to guide direction, keeping tension on the side matching the direction of travel (right hand for clockwise), and apply only light pressure — too much and your pony may read it as a stop signal.

Verbal commands guide the gait: walk, trot, canter, or whoa, with tongue-clicking as an added cue to pick up speed.

To wrap up longeing, use "Whoa" and step toward your pony.

Advanced Training

Once tying, leading, and longeing are second nature, advanced training becomes the natural next step. We'll cover two more elements here, though pony training branches out into far more niche areas — some even involving multiple ponies at once. Worth researching further if you own, or are, a particular specialized type of pony.

Leg Yielding

Leg yielding is a dressage fundamental that underpins several more advanced moves. In real horses, leg pressure produces a slightly diagonal step, moving sideways and forward at once. You'll train your pony toward the same response.

Start teaching leg yield at a walk, the slowest gait, before progressing to faster ones. To yield left, apply tension on the right rein to keep your pony moving straight, then flick their right side with the crop or whip to prompt the leftward yield.

Reverse the process to train yielding to the right.

Driving

Guiding your pony from behind requires teaching them to drive — and it's worth introducing early. Driving is essential for cart ponies specifically, though other pony types benefit from it too.

Picture the classic image of a cart driver holding one rein in each hand — not strictly necessary, but often the most comfortable setup. Use "Walk," or a tongue click, to get your pony moving forward, adding a whip cue if needed. Layer in trot or canter commands with clucking to build speed.

To slow your pony, apply pressure on both reins, then release — repeating as needed. Heavier pressure produces a faster stop or a drop down a gait level (gallop to canter to trot to walk), while lighter pressure eases them down more gradually without skipping a gait.

Keep in mind that different gear changes how your pony feels rein pressure. New ponies, or new equipment, may require you to adjust how much pressure you apply when slowing or stopping during driving.

Veterinary Play

A related kink (find out what kinky really means) that sometimes crosses over with pony play is veterinary play. In vet play, a "vet" examines — and sometimes experiments on — the "animal." Pony and vet players sometimes combine activities like fertilization, vaginal or anal exams, catheterization, needle play, dental checks, and gelding (castration), among others.

Related: The Complete List of Kinks and Fetishes

Pony players sometimes show up in public settings too, including Pride parades and similar events. The Folsom Street Fair, a major BDSM and leather event that closes out San Francisco's annual Pride festivities, is one well-known example. The broader pony play community also organizes more formally, through annual conventions and parades, plus regular casual meetups and munches throughout the year.

If you're based somewhere with a strong kink scene — San Francisco being a classic example — you'll likely find no shortage of fellow pony play enthusiasts nearby. Otherwise, traveling to larger events is a great way to meet other players, show off your skills as pony or master, or simply learn more about the culture.

There's a lot packed into pony play, and it can feel overwhelming at first. If structured roleplay and bondage already appeal to you, this kink is worth exploring. Just consider easing in gradually rather than diving straight to the deep end, since a full pony play setup can get expensive fast.

December 4, 2020