15 Genuine Ways To Win A Guy's Heart

If your dating life has ever felt like a real-life 'How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days,' like you have an unfortunate knack for doing small things that irritate guys and push them away even when they were initially interested, some course-correction advice is exactly what you need. These tips won't guarantee instant, head-over-heels love, but they'll genuinely improve your odds of winning that special guy's heart.

Naturally, manipulation and pretending to be someone you're not are off the table, but you can absolutely start the process of building real love while sidestepping the pitfalls that send guys running. These fifteen tips will help:

15. Put Some Effort Into Your Look

Don't let this one overwhelm you right away. Making an effort with your appearance doesn't mean chasing the latest runway trends, or having flawless hair and makeup every single time he sees you.

None of that's actually necessary for winning him over. In fact, overdoing it can backfire, making him assume you're overly self-focused.

Plenty of guys genuinely love the just-woke-up, makeup-free, slightly messy look, so chasing unattainable perfection isn't the goal here either.

That said, appearing totally indifferent to your appearance isn't ideal either, the sweet spot sits between apathy and perfection.

A solid middle ground: keep your clothes, body, and hair clean, always. Greasy hair and body odor are simply non-negotiables to avoid. Keeping facial hair in check and eyebrows tidy matters too. As for clothing, sweats and loungewear are perfectly fine for casual nights in, but make sure he also sees you dressed up in fitted, flattering pieces sometimes.

Looks aren't everything, obviously, but they're still genuinely worth attention.

14. Learn His Pet Peeves And Steer Clear

Alongside watching for signs he likes you, figuring out his specific pet peeves and avoiding them matters too. The easiest way to find out? Just ask directly. Maybe he can't stand knuckle-cracking, or hates being called by an old childhood nickname, jot these down and steer clear as best you can.

Most guys are happy to share what bothers them, so this info usually isn't hard to come by.

13. Hold Off On Discussing Past Relationships

Past relationships inevitably come up eventually in any meaningful connection, but the early stages aren't the time. The ideal window is once things feel firmly established and you've both agreed it's worth discussing. So on your first, second, even third date, skip mentioning your ex, especially if you're drawing comparisons to your current guy.

That's a real turn-off, speaking of which, check out this guide to major turn-offs for guys.

Let him set the pace on this topic. If he's curious about your past, he'll ask, and if he opens up about his, feel free to reciprocate a little. But let him lead here, bringing up past relationships unprompted isn't the way to build love, it can actually backfire and make some guys genuinely uncomfortable.

12. Stay Available, Not Clingy

Nobody wants a clingy partner, but guys do want to feel genuinely wanted, so aim for the balance between the two. Never being available for dates or conversation can eventually push him away, he might assume your life's simply too full for him or that you're not prioritizing time together.

At the same time, he doesn't want every waking moment consumed by you either, especially if he's got a solid friend group he enjoys spending time with. So make real space for him in your life, without pouring your entire identity and happiness into him, that reads as desperate and clingy, traits nobody genuinely appreciates.

On the flip side, staying independent with a full life of your own makes you considerably more attractive.

Side Note: Also worth watching for are the signs a man is genuinely making love to you rather than just having sex.

11. Show Him You Genuinely Know How To Have Fun

Building real love means showing him your fun side too. If he's into hiking, give it a try without worrying about sweating or getting dirty. Let him plan activities occasionally, and demonstrate genuine spontaneity by trying new things without hesitation.

10. Be Kind To His Family And Friends

The people who matter to him deserve your genuine kindness. Never force him to choose between you and his lifelong friends or family, that rarely ends well and won't help build real love. Instead, get to know them, and let genuine affection develop. Winning them over only strengthens his feelings for you.

Just don't overdo it here either. The same way you don't want to seem clingy toward him, don't overwhelm his circle with your constant presence.

9. Don't Try To Control His Life

It's tempting to want a say in everything, his clothes, diet, friend group. But this is a surefire way to push him away. He's a grown adult who doesn't need you managing his decisions, so resist that urge entirely. Try to control him, and you'll likely end up losing him.

That said, taking control in the bedroom is an entirely different story! I'll teach you how here.

8. Respect His Genuine Passions, Within Reason

Even if college football seems trivial to you, if he genuinely loves his alma mater, tracks their stats, watches every game, and gets emotional over losses, never mock or dismiss it. Just because something feels silly to you doesn't mean it lacks real meaning for him.

Building something lasting means respecting his genuine interests, as long as they're reasonable, of course.

In fact, ask him why he's so passionate about something, and you might uncover a deeper story behind it, one that might win you over too.

7. Discuss The Future, But Not Too Early

Once your relationship reaches a more serious stage, deeper conversations about your shared future naturally follow. But in the early days, hold off on long-term planning talk entirely. No guy wants to field questions about how many kids he wants or when he's planning to marry on date one.

Let real time pass before broaching the future, and even then, don't bring it up constantly. Pushing too hard here works against building real love, nobody enjoys feeling pressured into commitment.

6. Listen More, Let Him Talk

Guys often talk less than women do, and that's completely fine. But building genuine love means giving him real space to open up. When he does talk, actually listen. Don't just wait your turn to redirect the conversation back to your own concerns.

Give him time and room to share, and respond genuinely so he knows you're truly engaged.

5. Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously

Every relationship has its share of mishaps. Learning not to take yourself too seriously matters here. Let yourself be the occasional punchline, laugh easily, and enjoy life. Don't spiral when plans fall apart or things don't go exactly as hoped.

Sometimes laughing at yourself and moving forward is genuinely all you can do, embrace that instead of getting defensive.

4. Push Past Your Comfort Zone

If you're a meticulous planner and he suggests a spontaneous trip, or you dread horses but he wants you to try riding, go along with it. Real growth requires stepping outside familiar territory. Willingness to do things slightly outside your comfort zone, purely to share an experience with him, shows him your best self and helps build genuine love.

A great low-stakes way to stretch your comfort zone: send him a flirty text like these.

3. Be Genuinely Kind

Sounds obvious, but it's worth stating plainly. Real kindness matters. Thank him for gifts, for covering the bill, for holding the door, for simply showing up. Even if sarcasm's your natural style, dial it back occasionally so he knows you genuinely like him.

Playing the untouchable, independent woman who "doesn't need" anyone can actually backfire, reading as disinterest instead. Coming across even slightly harsh works against building real love. So stay warm, and flirt a little too.

2. Offer Compliments And Genuine Respect

Respect ranks near the top of what guys want, arguably above almost anything else. In other words, showing (or telling) him you respect him often lands harder than saying you love him. Affection and love matter too, of course, but feeling respected is central, so never put him down, especially not in front of others.

Make sure he, and everyone around you, knows you genuinely think the world of him.

1. BE YOURSELF

Above everything else, stay authentically you. Sure, it's smart to work on habits you know genuinely bother him, like smoking, but don't compromise your core identity. Change too much of yourself and you risk losing who you actually are, not a good trade, even if it wins the guy, because eventually, abandoning your true self takes a real toll.

So let him see the real you, fully and confidently. That kind of self-assurance and self-respect is genuinely attractive to most guys. Winning real love should never require reshaping your identity.

Winning over the right guy is entirely achievable. If you're looking for a roadmap, these fifteen tips should point you solidly in the right direction.

Above all, remember: never manipulate or lie your way into someone's love, he'll eventually sense it, and the relationship won't survive that discovery. Stay honest, stay yourself, and the right guy will love you for exactly who you are.

January 23, 2021