Dealing With A Dick That's Too Big? Read This!

There's a thrill to meeting someone new you're excited about. Whether the spark started with a glance across a bar or weeks of teasing over text, the anticipation of getting him inside you can be intense. But reality sometimes doesn't match the fantasy, and your bodies might not line up as perfectly as you'd hoped. Sometimes he's smaller than you'd like — other times you're facing the opposite problem: a dick too big, leaving you unsure what to do next.

Romance novels and rom-coms would have you believe everyone fits together seamlessly, but that's rarely true. Height and weight are the obvious mismatches, but penis size — and, to some degree, how much your vagina can stretch — matters just as much. It's certainly frustrating to feel pain instead of pleasure with someone new, but that doesn't mean it's game over.

Dick Too Big? What's That Mean, Anyway?

If you've slept with someone whose length slammed against your cervix, or whose girth left you feeling stretched in an unpleasant way, you already know oversized can be a real problem. But what does "too big" actually mean in numbers? Everyone's different, and understanding how your vagina actually functions helps answer the question.

Think of your vagina as a potential space — flat like a deflated balloon when nothing's inside. Add something, whether that's a penis, a toy, or a tampon, and it expands to fit. The vaginal canal itself only runs about 3 to 4 inches deep (which explains why focusing on G-spot stimulation works so well with a smaller partner), so you don't need much length to feel satisfyingly full — but that balloon-like stretch means you can absolutely accommodate something much larger too. Source.

Your choice of sex position matters here too. Anything that keeps your legs closed, like spooning, amplifies how big he feels. That's a plus with a smaller partner, but not ideal when you're already dealing with a dick that's too big.

Side note: We recently surveyed 1,387 women and found that penis size does matter, along with what women genuinely think about very large penises.

Making A Big Dick Work

Don't assume you have to call it quits or skip sex entirely just because he's larger than expected. Try these steps to make it work.

• Prioritize foreplay. It gets you loosened up and wetter. Try dry humping, making out, giving each other a sensual massage, and more.
• Warm up using fingers or toys first, which helps loosen your PC muscles further.
• Make sure you're genuinely turned on. If you're feeling pressured or just not in the mood, lean on other activities instead (more on that below).
• Track your cycle. Right before your period, your cervix sits lower and firmer, which can make things more uncomfortable if he reaches it.
• Use plenty of lube. Water- or silicone-based formulas are condom-safe, make everything glide smoother, and help prevent small tears that can lead to infection. Lube matters even more for anal sex, since your body doesn't self-lubricate there.
• Ask him to hold back on full-depth thrusts. If he's going deeper than feels good, speak up. Either of you can wrap fingers around the base of his shaft to limit depth.
• Take the reins. Climbing on top lets you control depth, angle, and pace so it feels right for you. Build confidence with this advice.

Mix and match these approaches to find what clicks for you and your partner tonight.

Options When You're Dealing With a Penis That's Too Big

Maybe you're not aroused enough, you're out of lube, or your cycle just isn't cooperating tonight. Plenty of alternatives exist.

• Oral sex: Go down on him, and let him return the favor. The 69 position works great here. Our fellatio guide can help too.
• Manual sex: Once you master the hand job, he won't mind skipping penetration regularly. Plenty of women also love a partner skilled with fingers.
• Mutual masturbation: Watching each other get off is hot, taps into any exhibitionist streak you might have, and you can even build anticipation earlier in the day with a few sexy pictures.
• Dry humping: So many women love the pressure this creates, yet society treats it like something reserved for teenagers in a backseat. It's actually a great route to clitoral stimulation and orgasm, and you can do it clothed, in underwear, or completely nude. Picture his hard cock rubbing against your clit and vulva.
• Sex toys: We're big fans. They ease strain on your hands, have helped countless women reach orgasm for the first time, and make climaxing easier in general. They also work great as a substitute when penetrative sex isn't an option. Grab a bullet vibrator for clitoral stimulation or a dildo for G-spot play — use it solo or let him take the wheel.

There are countless other options too, so don't limit yourself to just these.

Too Big for Condoms

Sometimes a well-endowed guy genuinely doesn't fit standard condoms, which is a real concern if you're serious about staying safe and sexually responsible. Condoms protect against pregnancy and a range of STIs.

Regular condoms can be too snug for some men, raising the risk of breakage — never a good outcome. Fortunately, every major condom brand makes larger sizes, including Trojan Magnums and Durex's XL and XXL lines. Keeping both sizes on hand is smart. Once you put a condom on him, you might discover he oversold his size a bit.

Truthfully, these "larger" condoms are only marginally bigger than standard ones, mostly there to flatter the male ego. No man is too big to wear a condom — after all, condoms stretch over watermelons and human heads without issue. If he pushes back, let him know you're only comfortable practicing safe sex.

Female condoms are another option, sitting inside the vagina and generally roomier than the male version. With those, sizing concerns about his length or girth become a non-issue.

Finally, consider a different birth control method if condoms simply aren't working for you — an allergy, for instance. You can also pair condoms with hormonal birth control like the pill for extra protection.

One Warning About Large Penises

One thing that might surprise you: sex with a well-endowed partner can raise your risk of urinary tract infections, since more bacteria gets pushed toward your urethra. If you notice more UTIs after sex with him, try using a condom for added hygiene. It also helps to avoid things like sex in water and to thoroughly clean toys before and after each use.

Staying hydrated and peeing after sex can help too, but check with your doctor if the issue keeps recurring.

Learn: Reasons & solutions to burning after sex.

So don't stress if he's larger than you expected. Ease into it gradually, or stay intimate through other activities in the meantime.

January 2, 2021