Booty Calls Explained: What They Are & How To Start One

Nobody actually used the phrase “booty call” until the early 1990s, when comedian Bill Bellamy coined it, joking that “any lady who accepts a phone call from a gentleman at 2 a.m. has got to know he’s not calling because he wants to talk.” And with that, the booty call was born — defined by Urban Dictionary as “A late night summons — often made via telephone — to arrange clandestine sexual liaisons on an ad hoc basis.”

The Appeal of Simplicity

Booty calls aren’t exactly a new concept. They’re just a more direct version of “Want to grab coffee at my place?” or “Fancy a nightcap?” or even “Come check out that art I mentioned” — all of which are really just code for sex. A booty call skips the pretense entirely. No dinner, no movie required beforehand. One person reaches out to the other purely for the physical part. Fortunately, Love Curi is here to help you navigate it in the most fun and satisfying way.

Know What You’re Getting Into

Before jumping in, both people need to be on the same page: a booty call doesn’t start with a football game, concert, park stroll, or dinner date. Sure, he might do those things — just not with you.

When both parties genuinely understand that a booty call means casual, no-strings sex, it can be a great arrangement. Just don’t treat it as a backdoor into making him fall for you — that’s rarely how lasting relationships get built. If a real relationship where a guy actually falls for you is more your goal, this article might be a better read.

Booty Call vs. One-Night Stand: What’s the Difference?

Booty calls share some DNA with one-night stands and friends-with-benefits arrangements. A booty call could technically be a one-time thing, blurring the line with a one-night stand, but more often it involves some kind of existing connection between the two people.

Typically, whoever’s on either side of the arrangement texts late at night to check availability. The defining feature, though, is that the relationship never evolves into anything more traditional or long-term.

Why So Many Women Enjoy Them

Let’s be real — everyone has needs. Whether you’re between relationships or perfectly content being single, having a reliable partner who’s down for great sex whenever the mood strikes is a genuinely nice setup. Since you typically only interact with a booty call partner in the bedroom, you’re free to explore whatever kind of sex appeals to you, no judgment attached — and that freedom often leads to genuinely great sex.

That’s not to knock long-term partners — plenty of couples have amazing sex too. But there’s less emotional risk with a booty call partner, so you sidestep a lot of the mental baggage that can creep into serious relationships. And because there’s already some familiarity between you two, the sex is often better than what you’d get from a total stranger in a one-night stand.

That familiarity is part of why so many women gravitate toward this setup — you get consistently great sex with one person, and you can return the favor using techniques picked up inside the Bad Girl’s Bible. Maybe you’re fresh out of a rough breakup and not ready to dive into something new, or your career is eating up all your time and energy for a real relationship. A booty call lets you keep your sex life active without the emotional strings or the need to juggle multiple partners.

The Unwritten Rules of Booty Calls

If you’ve decided this arrangement suits you, a few ground rules will help keep it functional:

• Keep it to once a week at most.
• Stay quiet between calls. The occasional text is fine, but reach out mainly when it’s time to actually meet up.
• Avoid slipping into girlfriend behavior — it can pressure him into acting like a boyfriend even when that’s not what he wants, which is a fast way to kill the arrangement. Skip conversations about feelings, your past, or who else he’s seeing, and — importantly — don’t expect him to show up for you during a personal crisis. That part can sting a little.

How to Actually Set One Up

Plenty of booty calls happen organically, but a little structure can help too:

1. Decide upfront whether you’ll be the one always initiating, or if he can reach out too. If you want full control over timing, simply never respond to his invites while still sending yours — he’ll pick up on the pattern quickly.
2. Don’t plan too far ahead. Ideally, reach out just a few hours before you want to meet up. Waiting too long risks striking out entirely, but that’s just the nature of this kind of arrangement.
3. Offer to head to his place sometimes — it shouldn’t always fall on him to come to you.
4. A text is usually the easiest way to arrange things. Skip the vague invitations to grab a drink or cuddle — just say directly that you want to come over, or ask if he wants to.
5. Don’t expect a reply right away. It might take an hour or more to hear back.
6. Take “no” gracefully. You can try once more if he turns you down, but if he’s just not up for it that night, let it be.

Weighing the Pros and Cons

There’s no denying booty calls spark debate. Ask around and you’ll get wildly different opinions — some people swear by them as a great way to get fantastic sex, others see them as an emotional minefield. Here’s a rundown of common upsides and downsides to help you decide if it’s right for you:

Pros

• You get regular sex, which is genuinely great.
• The sex tends to get better as you learn each other’s preferences.
• These arrangements are usually pretty low-drama.
• There’s minimal relationship effort required.
• You’re still free to date other people.

Cons

• Sleeping with someone regularly can spark real feelings, even unintentionally, which opens you up to getting hurt.
• Society still tends to judge people who have booty calls — it’s oddly still not fully accepted. You might get labeled promiscuous, even though sticking with the same partner isn’t exactly promiscuous behavior.
• Some women start a booty call hoping it’ll evolve into a real relationship, but honestly, it’s a rough foundation for anything long-term.

If you can be completely honest with yourself about what a booty call actually is — and isn’t — and you’re still comfortable with that, you might just have an incredible time with it. Enjoy!

January 4, 2021