Sub Drop Explained: Causes, What to Watch For & How to Recover

A powerful BDSM scene can leave you feeling all sorts of things afterward — elated, satisfied, strong, connected, wiped out, achy, chilled, motivated, even starving. Submissives who take on stimulation and pain during a scene tend to experience their own particular set of reactions. Those reactions don't stop when the scene ends, either — that's when sub drop can show up.

Understanding Subspace First

Before sub drop makes sense, you need to understand what leads into it: subspace. Subspace describes a particular mental state a submissive partner can enter during a scene.

By the way, here's a resource on how to embrace being submissive.

While in subspace, you might feel oddly detached from your own body, almost unable to register pain the way you normally would. Some describe it as floating, flying, or an out-of-body sensation. Thinking clearly can become difficult, and even talking might feel like a struggle.

Subspace looks different from person to person, and it can even shift for the same person from one scene to the next. Read on to learn more about the sensations tied to it.

A Mix of Chemicals at Work

So what actually produces subspace? During a scene, your body releases a blend of hormones as the sympathetic nervous system reacts to stressors — things like impact play among others. These include:

• Endorphins: Most people know endorphins from exercise, which boosts their levels [1]. They can produce a euphoric feeling and dull pain perception [2], even in surgical settings [3] — though some research questions how much they actually change pain perception [4].
• Enkephalins: These are another category of the body's own opioid compounds [1], released throughout the central and peripheral nervous systems to dampen pain. Once pain subsides, these peptides break down [5].
• Epinephrine: Better known as adrenaline. Your body produces it the moment it detects stress — physiologically, it can't tell a flogging apart from a bear attack, so it prepares you either way. People often link adrenaline to reduced pain, but it may be more accurate to say adrenaline can heighten certain pain sensations while the accompanying rush of activity distracts from that pain [6].
• Dopamine: Known as the pleasure hormone (levels rise in anticipation of a reward, sexual or otherwise), dopamine may also spike in response to certain kinds of pain [7]. This could explain why erotic pain appeals to some people and not others.

These hormones are potent enough at generating good feelings and blunting pain that you could think of them as your body's homegrown morphine. Researchers have compared endorphins directly to opiates [8], and enkephalins produce a comparable effect.

Some researchers also believe oxytocin plays a part in BDSM scenes, though the evidence is still developing. You may recognize oxytocin as the "cuddle hormone" [9] — it's also released post-orgasm, deepens the sense of closeness with a sexual partner, and mirrors the bond formed between a parent and infant [10]. It's also linked to a better mood overall [11].

Here's more on how cuddling strengthens intimacy.

Oxytocin is also likely why men tend to doze off almost immediately post-sex. If it does play the role researchers suspect in BDSM, it would function as an additional pain reliever [12] [13].

All of this hormonal activity defines subspace itself — but the real subject here is what comes afterward: sub drop.

Defining Sub Drop

Sub drop typically shows up as sudden, overwhelming exhaustion. Feeling abruptly cold is also common. Even though you may not have consciously registered the pain of impacts during the scene, your body was processing it the whole time.

The same hormones responsible for subspace are, in a sense, responsible for sub drop too — or more precisely, it's their sudden absence that triggers it. The abruptness comes from play ending and your body no longer producing the hormonal mix that had been shielding you from pain and sensation. Sub drop can hit any time play stops unexpectedly, for any reason.

This pattern isn't exclusive to BDSM. Since subspace shares similarities with a runner's high, athletes often hit a wall of fatigue after a workout that didn't feel draining while they were doing it.

Why Pain Leaves You Drained

Pain is fundamentally tiring, for nearly everyone. That's part of why fatigue is a recognized symptom for people managing arthritis [14] or fibromyalgia, particularly during flare-ups.

Cortisol is another hormone that climbs during a BDSM scene [15] [16]. It's your body's built-in stress response. Even if you're thoroughly enjoying a spanking or caning session, your body still registers it as a stressor, and your adrenal glands release cortisol to limit inflammation-related tissue damage [17].

Curious to learn more about impact play? Check out this piece on erotic spanking.

And that's only the physical side. Emotionally and mentally, a scene can leave you unsteady too, sometimes to the point of crying after sex or after submitting. Sub drop's effects can be substantial — if you're not mentally grounded, you might struggle to make sound choices or even notice that you need to care for yourself.

Give these bondage positions a try in your next scene.

Using Aftercare to Manage Sub Drop

So how do you counteract sub drop and stay healthy afterward? That's where aftercare comes in.

What does aftercare actually mean? Within BDSM, it refers to the attention and care usually given by the dominant partner to the submissive afterward — though tops need aftercare too, and self-administered aftercare is entirely valid as well.

Good aftercare addresses both mind and body. Feeling chilled? Reach for a warm blanket or a soft sweater. A drink loaded with electrolytes plus a snack can help you bounce back quickly.

Some people find the most benefit in quiet, soothing activities. Cuddling is a go-to form of aftercare — it gives both bodies and minds time to settle and guarantees neither partner feels abandoned after an intense scene. Even something as simple as coloring can serve as aftercare for certain people.

Learn more about BDSM aftercare here.

A nap is often exactly what your body needs to recover and reset after sub drop, and a warm bath can help ease you back into everyday reality too.

Whatever shape it takes, aftercare deserves real respect as you continue learning about BDSM.

Handling Aftercare in Public Settings

Most aftercare methods are far simpler to manage privately than during a public scene. If you're planning to play somewhere public, scout a private spot beforehand for aftercare, or bring along a few essentials to hold you over until you can do it properly later.

Aftercare generally runs anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours. Still, it's worth checking in again days or even a week later — even with a partner you only played with once — to see how they're feeling and whether the scene sat well with them.

Sub drop itself usually lasts a handful of hours, though exceptions happen. If you're on your own when it hits, reach out to someone by phone or text.

Pay attention to how you feel in the days and weeks that follow a scene. Lingering effects from sub drop aren't unusual, so there's no need to panic if you notice them.

Top Drop Is a Real Thing Too

Submissives aren't alone in experiencing a post-scene drop — tops can go through their own version, aptly called top drop. Being the one in control during a scene doesn't shield you from feeling unmoored once it's over.

By the way, try our quiz to find out whether you lean more dominant or submissive.

Partners can look after each other during aftercare, or prep supplies in advance, or even bring in a friend to help make sure both people are properly cared for.

Looking out for one another is a core part of any healthy D/s dynamic. Read more about D/s relationships here.

Sub drop is worth taking seriously, but it doesn't affect every submissive, or every single scene. It's simply one of the inherent risks of BDSM — no amount of preparation eliminates risk entirely.

Check out the 8 essential BDSM rules to follow.

Sub drop can feel unsettling, particularly the first time you encounter it or if it shows up differently than expected. That said, solid aftercare practices can soften its impact and help you transition smoothly back to everyday life, ready for your next scene.

November 22, 2020